As You Wish
“Sunset? I’m here!”
Sunset’s eyes fluttered open, and she let out a quiet groan. Even that tiny utterance from her vocal cords sent fresh agony searing through her throat. She winced. Blankets were stacked on top of her three layers thick, but shivers still wracked her body.
With far more effort than it should have taken, Sunset reached over to her bedside table, found her glass of water, took a sip, then managed to croak, “Go away, Twilight. I don’t want to get you sick.”
Twilight stomped up the stairs to the loft, a big grin on her face as she set her bag to the side. “Hey sexy. You’re looking hot today.”
At the very least, Sunset assumed that Twilight was grinning, because her mouth was otherwise covered in a cough mask. “You’ve been thinking up that fever pun all day, haven’t you?”
“Don’t be ridiculous.” Twilight unzipped her bag and started pulling out several objects. Latex gloves. A hot water heater, a tea kettle. Hand sanitizer. A book. Bottles of water. A cup of instant ramen. Tea. “I thought of it the last time you were sick, but never got a chance to use it.” She paused, resting her finger on her chin. “Plus, we weren’t dating then, so it would’ve been kind of weird.”
Sunset grunted, then rolled over onto her side. “Yeah well, I don’t need you to play mom. It’s just a cold, I’ll get over it soon enough.”
“Mmm, I’m sure.” Twilight slipped on the gloves, then reached down to press her freezing hands against Sunset’s forehead. “Gods, you’re burning up.” With a flick of her wrist and a flare of magic, Twilight swept the blankets off of Sunset, letting in the antarctic cold that was her apartment.
“D-damnit Twilight!” Sunset shrieked. She curled into a ball, shivers wracking her whole body. “Give those—”
Twilight shoved a thermometer into her mouth, cutting her outburst short.
Sunset glowered, trying to both look irate and stay warm. She suspected it wasn’t working.
Twilight winked. “Be glad I used your mouth.”
“Pervert,” Sunset muttered through closed lips. The thermometer beeped a few seconds later.
“Thirty-nine degrees celsius,” Twilight muttered, her brow creased with worry. “Or, well, a hundred and two point six farenheit. Sunset, that’s really high. Fevers don’t get that high unless it’s something bad, like an infection. We should probably take you to see a doctor.”
Sunset rolled her eyes. “It’s nothing. I’ve gotten over way worse than this before, I’ll get over this too. Besides, I don’t have insurance, and hospitals creep me out.”
Twilight’s jaw tightened in a way that indicated her lips were probably pursed underneath the mask. “You’re a stubborn ass, you know that?”
“Heehaaw,” Sunset brayed. Her head swam a bit, and she frowned. “Crap, that’s probably racist, huh? Sorry, I’m just tired.”
“Wait, what?” Twilight blinked several times. “Racist? Are… donkeys a thing in Equestria? How has this never come up before?”
Sunset shrugged.
Twilight let out a long sigh, and rubbed at her temples. “Nevermind. Look, I could drag you out of here by force if necessary, but I don’t think either of us wants that. But if you’re not going to let a professional take care of you, then you’ll have to let me do it.”
“Fine, fine.” Sunset grunted and sat up a bit, resting her hand on her chin. “Can you at least wear a sexy nurse outfit while you do?”
“No.”
The gem around her neck lit up, and Twilight magically tossed a bottle of Advil towards Sunset. “Take those.” More light spilled across the room. Water bottles lifted into the air, unscrewing themselves, then pouring into the water heater. The cord snaked under Sunset’s bed, finding an unseen outlet.
Sunset popped the pills into her mouth and swallowed. It hurt. “You’re getting really good at that.”
“I’ve been practicing a lot.” Twilight took a deep breath, then pulled up a chair and sat down. She twiddled her thumbs in her lap, not looking at Sunset.
“So what now? You make tea, then you just… watch me sleep or something?”
Twilight waved a hand dismissively. “If I wanted to watch you sleep, I’d just use the cameras. Anyway, I… kind of had an idea for something we could do.”
Sunset frowned. “As totally fine I am, I don’t really have much energy. Right now getting up to go to the bathroom kind of feels like running a marathon. Which I should probably do sooner rather than later. Also wait, what cameras?”
“I was thinking I could read a book to you?” Twilight held up the book she’d pulled out of her bag earlier. The Sunlight Bride was embossed on the front in gold lettering. “My mom always used to read me books when I was sick.” Her cheeks colored a bit, and she scratched at her chin. “Well, she still does, sometimes. This one is one of my favorites. It… meant a lot to me, growing up.”
“Well, I can’t say I know what’s that’s like.” Sunset took a deep breath, then swung her legs off of the bed and stretched. The sensation that she was freezing to death in her room temperature apartment was starting to abate. Somewhat. “I suppose that’s as good of a plan as any, but don’t hold it against me if I fall asleep. I’m gonna go pee. Also seriously, what cameras?”
Twilight winked.
Some time later, Sunset made her way back up to the loft, and found a fresh cup of tea and a steaming bowl of instant noodles waiting for her. She smiled at Twilight, sat back down on the bed, and took a sip of tea. It tasted full of honey, and soothed her aching throat. “Alright then. So what’s this book about?”
“Well, there’s a girl, and she goes on a quest…” Twilight cleared her throat, then shook her head. “I mean, it’s really more of a short story than an actual novel or anything, so honestly I can just jump right into it.”
“Girl on a quest? Sure, I dig it.” Sunset made herself comfortable. “Go ahead then. Wow me with your storytelling prowess.”
“Geez, no pressure or anything.” Twilight rolled her eyes, then opened the book to the first page, and cleared her throat again. “Once upon a time, there was a young girl named Golden Wish, who had a best friend—”
“Did you say Golden Wish?”
Twilight looked up, her brow furrowed. “Yes? What about it?”
Sunset shrugged. “Just kind of a weird name, is all. Especially for a protagonist. Golden Wish. Sounds like something Fluttershy would come up with.”
Twilight stiffened in her chair. “Is that a bad thing?”
“Nah, it ain’t bad. Just, I dunno. Is this girl a badass? What if we called her, say, Bloodfist Thunderpunch?”
“I think you’ve been spending too much time around Rainbow Dash.”
Sunset laughed, though she immediately regretted it, and drank some more tea. “I’m just messing with you. Golden Wish is fine, go on.”
“Well…” Twilight tapped her finger on the edge of the book. “It honestly is kind of a… self-insert-y book? Or at least that’s the way it always felt like to me. We could always just call the protagonist Sunset Shimmer and remove any doubt.”
“Oh?” Sunset sat up straight, holding her tea cup to the side, with one eyebrow raised. “Before you had my interest, but now you have my attention.”
Twilight giggled. “Fine, fine. Self-insert it is. Should I expect running commentary on every little thing, then?”
Sunset winked. “It’s either that, or I fall asleep.”
“So be it. Once upon a time…”
Once upon a time, there was a young girl named Sunset Shimmer, who had a best friend named Twilight Sparkle.
Sunset: Best friends, huh? And here I thought we had something special going on between us.
Twilight: Best friends.
They were born only a year apart, and lived next door to each other. Sunset was the blacksmith’s daughter, and Twilight the daughter of a well-off merchant. From their first meeting as mere toddlers, they were inseparable.
Everyone in the village knew their names, and seeing Sunset and Twilight running around, laughing, chasing each other, taking turns playing Knight and Princess never failed to put a smile on the face of anyone who saw it.
They were both bright, clever little girls. Sunset’s father taught her the ways of the forge before she was even old enough to hold a hammer. Twilight’s father taught her to read, how to do figures and how to keep ledgers. And when they stole off to quiet meadows to talk, Twilight would teach Sunset all she’d learned, and Sunset would respond in kind.
As they came into their womanhood, however, things began to change. Their eyes would meet, and both would look away, their hearts quickening. Touches would linger, and while the other girls in the village began to chase boys, none of that interested them.
“Twilight… there’s something I want to tell you,” Sunset murmured. Moonlight shone from above, its silvery light filtered and refracted through the waterfall that curtained the entrance to the cave they were in.
This was their special place, just for the two of them.
Twilight smiled, her cheeks red, her fingers intertwined with Sunset’s. “Anything you have to say, I’ll hear it.”
Sunset took a deep breath, trying to steady the herd of galloping horses that was her heartbeat. It was now or never. She couldn’t keep her feelings bottled up any longer. “I… I know it’s not proper. It isn’t what young ladies are supposed to do. But I can’t deny the stirrings of my heart any longer. I think I’ve fallen madly in love with you, Twilight Sparkle. If you’d have me, though I don’t know how it would work, I would ask for permission to court you.”
Twilight gasped, and clasped her hands over her mouth, her eyes brimming with tears. Her whole body trembled, and she managed a frantic nod.
“You… do you actually…?” Sunset’s eyes went wide, and her breath caught in her throat. Could all of her dreams really come true?”
“Of course,” Twilight managed to squeak, her voice high pitched and full of nervous giggles. “I’ve felt the same way for so long now, but I couldn’t bring myself to say anything. I…” Twilight licked her lips, smiled broadly, then leaned forward, pressing her soft lips against Sunset’s.
Sunset felt her eyes tear up at the sheer joy of it all. Twilight loved her back. She wanted to scream this glorious truth to the heavens, and let the gods themselves try to take it away from them. Instead, she pressed herself into the kiss, wrapping her hands in Twilight’s hair, and they both fell to the ground.
Together, under that moonlit waterfall, they became one.
Sunset: Became one, huh? Wow, this is getting me all worked up. Hey Twilight, can you do me a favor? Open the third drawer on my nightstand, and grab me—
Twilight: I know where you keep your sex toys, Sunset. And ew, don’t be gross, they’re still like, fourteen in this scene.
Sunset: —… a box of tissues, because I’m getting a little weepy here at this heartfelt romance? Come on Twilight, I’m sick. I don’t have the energy to bust out Purple Thunder even if I wanted to.
Twilight: Of course that’s what you call it.
Some time later they rested, intertwined in each other’s embrace.
“I wish we could stay like this forever,” Twilight murmured.
Sunset let out a soft sigh and glanced out the entrance to the cave. The sky was awash with the blue of approaching dawn. While the pure joy and euphoria of new love still filled her, worries and doubts slowly crept their way into her heart. “Do you think… We’ll have to hide this from everyone, right?”
Twilight scoffed. “What’s there to hide? I love you, and I’m not ashamed of that.”
“But our fathers might—”
“”Forget them!” Twilight sat up and took Sunset’s hands in her own. Their gazes met, and passion blazed in Twilight’s eyes. “If we’re together, that’s all that matters. Together, we can take on the world. Take over the world if we have to, and rule it together.”
Sunset laughed, and her worries faded under the strength of Twilight’s conviction. “I don’t need to rule the world, because you’re already the world to me.”
As prepared as both girls were for a fight, however, the expected backlash didn’t come. Their fathers understood their feelings, and were glad that they’d found happiness together. The villagers were used to them always being together anyway, so little had changed from their point of view. There were a few nasty comments, but they could do little to stem the tide of their young love.
Together, Sunset Shimmer and Twilight Sparkle were happy.
Sunset: But...
But their happiness lasted only a few short months. Twilight’s father landed an opportunity to open a storefront in the capital city, and it was one he couldn’t ignore. No matter how much crying, begging, and pleading they did, Twilight was going to move away.
They thought about running away together, and even came close to doing it, but Twilight eventually backed down. They could still write one another. Sunset swore she would throw herself into her apprenticeship, become a full fledged blacksmith, and open up her own business right next to Twilight’s.
The two lovers parted tearfully, with many promises made.
And most of them were kept. Years passed, and Sunset threw herself into her trade, developing her skills and the muscled body of a blacksmith. They kept in touch, their letters to each other limited only by the speed of the post. Their love never faded, and on rare occasions, Sunset was able to travel to the city to visit, or vice versa, and they spent the nights in each others’ arms for a brief respite.
Then, on one fateful morning during Sunset’s nineteenth year, she received a letter.
Dearest Sunset,
I don’t know how to tell you this. Something awful has happened. Somehow, I caught the eye of the king himself. He seeks for me to be his bride. I have no right to refuse. The wedding is in a fortnight. Please, I don’t know how, but help me wake up from this nightmare.
Sunset wasted no time in gathering up all of her savings, the best sword she’d ever made, and she bought the best horse in the village. She swapped out horses in the next village, and the next, barely stopping to eat or sleep.
Everything was on track to make it to the capital early, to find Twilight before the day of the wedding, to figure out a plan to save her. But a freak storm forced her to take shelter, and drove everything to the wire’s edge.
She arrived the day of the wedding. Everyone seemed to be attending, the ceremony hosted in a massive cathedral that overlooked the entire city.
The front entrance was guarded, and she couldn’t get by without an invitation. So Sunset snuck around and found a window overlooking the altar. There stood Twilight, next to some wrinkly old man in a crown.
Sunset kicked through the window and jumped inside, sword raised. “Twilight!”
Twilight’s eyes brimmed full of tears, and her smile widened. “Sunset, you really came for me!”
Guards rushed at Sunset, and she met them with her sword, blocking, parrying, chopping the tips off of spears. She’d made sure to know how the weapons she made were used, after all.
All the swordsmanship in the world wouldn’t do much against the crossbow bolt that took her in the back.
Sunset crumpled to the ground. Twilight screamed.
The details after that grew hazy for Sunset. Twilight begged and pleaded for Sunset’s life to be spared. The king, her new husband, agreed, and Sunset was instead shipped off to serve on a prison galley.
In the end, Sunset couldn’t be the hero Twilight needed. It was a mistake to think otherwise.
Sunset: Woah woah, what the heck is this? I thought this was going to be a happy story!
Twilight: I never said that. And besides, that was just the prologue.
Sunset: Is this going to be anything like those ‘anime’ you’re such a big fan of? Do I get to come back in a giant robot and kick some ass?
Twilight: That’s not quite the genre we’re working with here, but suddenly I really want to see that story.
Rainbow Dash stared up at the magician’s tower, her heart filled with dread.
Sunset: Rainbow Dash, huh?
Twilight: She seems like an appropriate fit for this character.
Sunset: What’s the name written in the book?
Twilight: Bloodfist Thunderpunch.
It’d taken her weeks to find this place, but here she was. Now all she had to do was move forward. The wizard couldn’t be that scary, right?
The bushes rustled behind her and Rainbow Dash nearly jumped out of her skin. She spun to find a woman approaching. Tall, built like a bull, and with hair the color of fire, she gave the impression of someone you absolutely didn’t want to mess with. The large sword strapped to her back helped.
The woman eyed Rainbow Dash up and down, then cleared her throat. “This is the magician’s tower, correct? I’m Sunset Shimmer, come to ask for a boon. Are you the first challenge?”
Rainbow Dash blinked. “What? No, I don’t work here! I’m here ask for a boon too! And, you know, I was here first, so bugger off.”
“I see.” Sunset frowned, and crossed her arms over her chest. “With as much trouble as it was to get here, two people arriving at once seems too coincidental. What’s your name? Maybe we're supposed to take these three challenges together.”
“The name’s Rainbow Dash.” It made a certain amount of sense, and it might be nice to have someone watching her back. If she could trust Sunset, anyway. What if she was part of the test? “You sure doubling up isn’t cheating?”
Sunset chuckled, then shook her head. “I can’t say I’ve ever seen an official draft of the rules for this place, but none of the legends I’ve heard say it’s forbidden.”
Rainbow Dash looked over her shoulder at the swaying rope bridge that led to the tower, spanning a hundred foot drop to sharp rocks below. “Alright, fine. Let’s work together.” With a grin, she held out her hand, and they clasped forearms.
“So.” Sunset made her way to the rope bridge, and gingerly tested her weight on one of the boards. “You given this thing a shot yet?”
“This’ll be a piece of cake.” Rainbow Dash pushed past Sunset, and felt the board creak and shift under her weight
Sunset shrugged, and followed after her.
One step at a time. She could do this. Sure, the wind seemed to be picking up, and everything was starting to sway and her stomach threatened to empty itself, but they were almost halfway there already. Just a little bit—
A strong gust of wind kicked up, and Rainbow Dash shrieked. She fell sideways, hanging onto the railing for dear life. Her feet slipped off the boards and dangled helplessly in midair.
Before her stomach could finish its somersault into her throat, a strong arm wrapped around Rainbow Dash’s midsection and pulled her onto steady footing once more.
Rainbow Dash collapsed limply into Sunset’s arms, her heart racing a million miles per second. “Did I just… did you just save my life like, two minutes after we met?”
“You might have still managed to save yourself had I not caught you.” Sunset held tight onto the bridge until the wind died down, then disentangled herself from Rainbow Dash. “You alright?”
“Yeah, totally fine.” Once free, Rainbow Dash immediately clung to the rope, planting her feet as steadily as she could. “Thanks, though. We’ll just, uh, take it a bit slower the rest of the way.”
Fortunately, no more sudden gusts of wind assaulted them for the remainder of the crossing. As soon as she reached the end, Rainbow Dash fell to her knees, relishing the solid rock below her once more. “Do you think maybe that, once we’ve gotten our boon, we can take some other exit instead of crossing this again? Like a servants’ tunnel or something.”
Sunset rested one hand on her hip, her gaze tracking up the stone tower that stretched into the sky. “An easy trek would be nice compared to, say, a quick exit via defenestration. They say the wizard has a temper, so be on your guard.”
Rainbow Dash pursed her lips. Defe-what now? Sunset seemed unwilling to answer, so any chance of her understanding what that word meant went out the window. She shrugged, then approached the base of the tower. There were two doors spaced a few feet apart from each other, and each was flanked by a large statue of a horse. “Well, we made it past the first challenge easily enough. Now we’ve just got to—”
A loud bell rang from above, and fierce lights of blue and red lit up in the eyes of the horse statues. Both statues turned to face them with the sound of stone grinding on stone.
“That’s not good,” Rainbow Dash growled. She leapt backwards and drew her rapier in one smooth motion, brandishing it before her in a basic guard stance. A quick glance to her side and she found that Sunset already had her weapon out and ready as well. Strong and quick. A deadly combination.
A few tense moments passed, but the statues just sat there with glowing eyes, otherwise continuing to be statues.
“What do we—”
“Your first challenge,” a loud, masculine voice boomed from above, “is to pick a door. One door will lead to the second challenge, the other door will lead you away from this place. You will not be able to find your way back until one year and a day has passed. To aid you in this choice, one of these statues will answer one question from you, but only one. And one statue only tells the truth, while the other only tells lies. Good luck.”
Sunset: Oh, I’ve seen this one before! How did it go again? It was in that one movie you showed me, the uh, one with the guy. You know, with the really tight pants, and the labyrinth?
Twilight: It was Labyrinth.
Sunset: Right! That’s what I was thinking of. Seriously though, goddamn. What a girl wouldn’t give for a piece of that.
Twilight: I’m right here you know. Remember me? Your gay girlfriend?
Sunset: Oh please. Nobody’s that gay.
Twilight: Okay, fine, maybe you have a point.
Sunset: I always do. Hey, that gives me a thought. How would you like it if I dressed up as The Goblin King for next Nightmare Night?
Twilight: … Yes.
“Oh, I’ve seen something like this before!” Rainbow Dash said, perking up. She sheathed her sword, rocking back and forth on the balls of her feet. “Hmm, how did it go?”
Sunset frowned and lowered her sword. “You’ve encountered this before? Have you attempted these challenges in the past?”
Rainbow Dash shook her head. She rested one hand on her chin, and started pacing around in circles. “Not like that. I remember hearing a riddle like this somewhere before. In a bar? Yeah, some guy was telling it to me, trying to impress me. I was only half listening to him though. Wasn’t exactly, uh, my type.”
“Is that so?” Sunset raised an eyebrow, then sighed and shook her head. “Well, do you remember anything on how to solve this? We can’t just ask one to tell us which door is which. If there wasn’t some kind of a trick it wouldn’t even be a challenge.”
“Don’t worry about it!” Rainbow Dash puffed her chest out, hands on her hips. “I’ve totally got this. Obviously, we could ask the one on the left what door is safe. But he could be lying, right? But if we ask the one on the right which door is safe, he could also be lying!”
A stiff wind blew past them. Sunset blinked. “That is, I believe, the general gist of this challenge, yes.”
“So you see!” Rainbow Dash held one finger up in the air triumphantly. Her mind raced as she pieced it all together. This puzzle would be a cinch. “Nothing you ask either of them can be trusted! But that’s the trick! Making you think you need to ask any questions at all.”
“So do we… just guess?” Sunset rubbed at her chin. “A fifty-fifty shot isn’t so bad. If we split up, at least one of us would be sure to get through, but… what I’m here for is far too important to be left to mere chance.”
“Chance nothing.” Rainbow Dash grinned, then drew her sword. “Only idiots rely on chance. For warriors like us, we have to seize our own destiny. Force them to react to us!”
She lunged forward, leaping into the air and plunging the tip of her rapier into the glowing blue eye of the left statue.
Metal clanged against stone, and her sword shook, the impact coursing through the sword and straight into her hand. She let out a yelp of pain, dropping the sword, her momentum knocking her to the ground.
“Are you alright?” Sunset knelt next to Rainbow Dash and helped her to her feet.
Rainbow Dash shook her hand out, wincing from the pain in her wrist. “Just fine. The statue flinched, which makes it the one telling the truth.”
“Really? I didn’t see—”
“Hey, left statue! Is the door on the left the right door?”
The statue turned towards Rainbow Dash, the light in its eyes dimming somewhat. After several seconds, it finally spoke in a deep voice. “Yes.”
Rainbow Dash grinned, then picked up her fallen sword. She inspected it. There was a chip near the tip, but it wasn’t too deep. She could sharpen it out later. “Told you I could do it. Come on, let’s go.”
Sunset grimaced. “I hope you’re right.”
Sunset led the way through twisted corridors and up far too many flights of stairs, Rainbow Dash following close at her heels.
There was no indicator that they had chosen the correct door, and the pit in Sunset’s stomach grew with every passing minute. She’d started mentally picking through Rainbow Dash’s convoluted logic, and wasn’t happy about it. Rainbow Dash had asked about the ‘right’ door. Had the statute interpreted that as ‘correct’ or ‘right’?
Had her new companion screwed them both over, or had they perhaps gotten lucky despite the blunder?
“So,” Rainbow Dash said, breaking the silence. “What’s a girl like you do for fun? You know, when you’re not wandering through hallways in a wizard’s tower?”
“I row, mostly.”
Rainbow Dash blinked. “Row? Like, in a boat?”
Sunset sighed, her heart heavy as her mind wandered backwards. “I spent the last three years on a prison galley. One long blur of eat, row, sleep. Sometimes not the first one. Or the third.”
“By the gods,” Rainbow Dash murmured, her eyes going wide. “I’m… sorry, that must have been rough.”
“I survived.”
They continued in silence for a few minutes after that. Just how long had it been since she’d had a real conversation with someone who wasn’t a fellow prisoner? Freedom took some adjusting to. Sunset cleared her throat. “What about you?”
“What about me?”
“What do you do for fun?”
Rainbow Dash grinned. “Oh, you know. I wander from place to place. My feet go where the stars take me. I win coin with the prowess of my sword or the dulcet tunes of my lute.”
Sunset looked Rainbow Dash up and down. “Must be an awfully small lute.”
“I stashed it back where I made camp. Wasn’t gonna bring my precious baby into this den of nightmares.”
Sunset chuckled, and Rainbow Dash laughed with her. It felt good.
The corridor opened up into a circular room. Shelves lined every wall, each filled with a long glass bottle that presumably contained wine. A smooth marble table sat in the center of the room, and an odd looking stone tube stuck up several feet into the air in the center of the table. A door on the far side of the room seemed to be the only exit.
“Well, this looks like it might be something.” Rainbow Dash sauntered across the room, admiring the bottles on the wall. “Ooh, this is some good vintage.” When she reached the door, she jiggled the handle, to no effect. “It’s locked.”
Sunset approached the table, frowning. It seemed built into the floor itself, and sturdy to the point where even she couldn’t budge it, with all of her strength. The tube in the center, though. She rapped her knuckles against it, and it gave a somewhat dull sound. Climbing up on the table to look down at it confirmed her suspicions. The tube was hollow. Something at the bottom glinted in the light. “I think I may have found the key.”
Rainbow Dash laughed. “Well that was easy. Grab it and let’s keep going.”
She could already tell that it would be easier said than done. The tube was narrow, and Sunset slipped her hand inside, but couldn’t get much farther past her wrist. Her forearms were too thick. She glanced over at Rainbow Dash, and her comparatively lithe build. “I think this one might be on you.”
“Sure, sure, I can handle this one too, no big deal.” Rainbow Dash smirked, and rolled up her sleeves as she approached the table. She climbed up, peering down the tube. “All the way down there, huh? Piece of cake.” She stretched a bit, then slid her arm into the tube. Her arms were thin enough that she made it all the way up to her shoulders. She grunted, straining with the effort, then a frown creased her face. “I can’t quite reach it. It’s just a few inches away, but…”
Sunset: Hold on a second.
Twilight: Hmm?
Sunset: This is a Pringles can.
Twilight: What?
Sunset: I’d bet you twenty bucks that the author was struggling to get the last couple Pringles out of the can, then had an epiphany about how this would make a great puzzle.
Twilight: …
Sunset: You know I’m right.
Twilight: Damnit, now I’m never going to look at this scene the same way.
After another minute of effort, Rainbow Dash grunted, then slid her hand back out of the tube—
Sunset: Call it what it is.
—out of the Pringles can. “It’s no use. Sorry.”
Sunset rubbed at her chin. “Maybe we can hook it out of there with something long and slender? She felt at her own sword, but the blade was too wide. “Your rapier?”
“Geez, at this rate I’m going to end up solving every challenge with my sword. And here I was hoping for some originality.” Rainbow Dash rolled her eyes theatrically, then drew her sword and slid it down the Pringles can. It stopped at the hilt. “Oh, nope. Crossguard is too wide. Damnit.”
“Anything else that might work?”
Rainbow Dash patted her trousers and her tunic, scowling. “I have a line and some hooks I use for fishing sometimes… but I left them in my pack back at camp. Damnit! Maybe there’s something in this room we can use?”
They set about searching the rest of the room, but all they could find besides the wine was a pair of mugs. “Maybe they want us to get drunk,” Rainbow Dash said with a groan, slumping down on the table.
Sunset’s thoughts drifted back towards her time on the prison galley. It wasn’t all just rowing. All sorts of unpleasant tasks had to be performed on a ship. Especially when you pissed off the overseers. Tasks like pumping out the bilgewater. Just the memory of the smell made Sunset’s gut twist. Not to mention all the nasty stuff that floated down there...
“That’s it!” Sunset jumped up from the table, running over to the wall and sliding off one of the bottles of wine. She ran back to the table, and started working out the cork.
“Wait, seriously? We are getting drunk?”
Sunset grinned, popped the cork out, then climbed back up on the table and tipped the bottle over, letting its contents pour into the Pringles can.
Rainbow Dash sputtered. “Hey, that’s good wine, what are you—”
“It floats!” Sunset peered into the Pringles can, and could see that yes, the key was floating in the dark red liquid. “You can probably reach it now.”
“That’s brilliant!” Rainbow Dash laughed, then slid her arm back into the Pringles can. This time, she came back with a small, hollow key pinched between her fingers. She held it up triumphantly, then licked the droplets of red wine off of her fingertips. “Damn, that is good stuff. Come on, let's get going.”
Sunset took the key, then made her way to the door. Then she frowned. There wasn’t actually a keyhole anywhere to be found.
A voice boomed like thunder from above, causing them both to flinch. “Congratulations on your ingenuity. However, that is my prized collection of wines. You may not move forward without finishing what you started.”
Something clicked over on the table. Sunset frowned, then made her way back, and found the Pringles can now detached at the base. “I think we might have to get drunk after all.”
While the Pringles can was heavy and awkward, she managed to pour the wine into the two mugs, leaving them both with half a bottle of wine to drink. She held up her mug, and they clinked them together. “Cheers.”
Sunset drank, the taste fruity with a hint of earthiness to it. It had a strong kick to it as well. Had she come here alone, she would have had to use far more than just one bottle of wine to raise the key to a point where she could get it out. And as hardy as she was, that much would surely leave her barely functional when the third trial came around. Devilish.
Another click sounded from the door, and Sunset turned to see that the keyhole had revealed itself. “Shall we?”
Rainbow Dash’s head swam as she climbed the stairs behind Sunset. While she’d never admit it to anyone, she could barely hold her booze under the best circumstances. With all this exhaustion and stress, that wine had hit her like a ton of bricks.
Sunset seemed unaffected, at the very least. Hopefully she’d be able to handle the final challenge. Would it be weird if Rainbow Dash just asked Sunset to carry her the rest of the way in her strong muscular arms?
After what seemed an eternity of stairs spiraling upwards, they reached a trapdoor in the ceiling. Sunset pushed it open, letting in a rush of fresh air, and they climbed onto the roof of the tower.
The sun sat low on the horizon, painting everything in an orange haze, and a chill wind buffeted them from the east. But all Rainbow Dash could focus on was the figure standing at the far end of the tower. An old man with a long beard, hands clasped behind his back.
“You have done well to make it this far,” the man said, giving them the faintest of nods. “I am Starswirl the Bearded. Welcome to your third and final challenge.”
Sunset: Starswirl, huh? Another name substitution?
Twilight: No, that’s the actual name this time. Starswirl was a figure from ancient mythology, but he gets used a lot as a sort of public domain character, especially when you need a quick and easy wise wizard type character.
Sunset: Huh. Honestly, he gets used that way in Equestrian fiction a lot too. I wonder if he knows about that, now that he’s back from the dead. I’ll have to ask Princess Twilight.
Twilight: Right, I keep forgetting that actually happened. We seriously need to arrange a visit sometime.
Sunset: Are you going to read him this book too?”
Sunset approached, her body tense, her eyes darting from side to side. “What would you have us do?”
Starswirl grinned, running his fingers through his beard. “Tell me, what boon do you seek?”
Rainbow Dash cleared her throat and stepped forward, trying her best to hold herself steady. “I seek revenge.”
Sunset glanced over at her, then nodded. “I seek true love.”
“Very well.” Starswirl clapped his hands together, the sound loud enough to echo across the countryside. “Your final challenge is thus. I have but one boon to give. Decide amongst yourselves who will get it, whether by words or by steel.”
Silence fell, save only for the howling of the wind around them. Rainbow Dash took two steps back, hand moving to the hilt of her sword. “I like you, Sunset. You should probably back down, for safety reasons.”
Sunset smirked, but her hand moved towards her sword all the same. “I think I’d like to count you amongst my friends, Rainbow Dash. But if there can be only one winner, well. There’s someone out there waiting for me that’s been waiting for far too long already.”
Rainbow Dash licked her lips. She was tipsy. Sunset was bigger than her, stronger, faster. Her sword had longer reach. Also, Rainbow Dash was kind of afraid of heights. From an outside perspective, she was at every possible disadvantage.
But on the other hand, she was awesome.
Without warning, Rainbow Dash drew and lunged forward, hoping to end it quickly and by surprise.
Sunset barely reacted in time, jumping to the side, the tip of the sword cutting a thin line in her tunic. Her feet skidded on the stone, and she managed to free her sword from her scabbard before the attack could press further.
“That was a cheap trick,” Sunset growled. She kept her sword in front of her warily and ran her fingers along her stomach. They came back clean, and she let out a quiet sigh. “Let’s see if you can hold your own in a fair fight!”
Rainbow Dash met Sunset’s attack, parrying easily. Well, not that easily. Sunset’s strength made each blow send a jolt up her arm. But she didn’t let the strain show. “There’s no such thing as fighting fair. It’s a fight! And I’m disappointed. You fight like a horse.”
Sunset blinked, then laughed, her hair blowing in the breeze. “How appropriate! You fight like a stablehand.”
Sunset: Okay what is it with you and horses?”
Twilight: Huh?
Sunset: General you here, like all humans. But everything around here is horse-themed and horses just come up a lot. It’s weird.
Twilight: This coming from the walking talking unicorn from a dimension of horses.
Sunset: Yeah, and when we name everything a pony pun of some sort it’s cute and cheeky. When you humans do it, it’s weird.
Twilight: I’m failing to see the problem here.
Sunset: What do you call that thing in the street, the hole that leads down to the sewer?
Twilight: A horsehole.
Sunset: WHY!?
Rainbow Dash rushed in to trade a few more blows, but she couldn’t find an opening. Despite her verbal jabs, Sunset was quite skilled. She needed to find some kind of edge. Could she win an endurance match? Doubtful.
“Nobody fights fair, huh?” Sunset held her blade in two hands, angling it in front of her, an odd guard that Rainbow Dash wasn’t familiar with. It almost seemed like bait of some sort, but Sunset was keeping her distance, well out of striking range. Just what was she—
Sunset’s sword caught the reflection of the setting sun, and shone the light directly into Rainbow Dash’s eyes.
“Agh!” Rainbow Dash stumbled backwards, shielding her eyes. She realized her mistake a split second later, but Sunset was ready, and had reacted with perfect timing. Rainbow Dash was done for.
Rather than the life ending bite of steel sinking into flesh, however, all she received was a heavy boot directly between her legs.
Death might have been preferable.
A few seconds later, Rainbow Dash regained consciousness, only to find herself staring at the tip of Sunset’s sword. She coughed, let out a weak groan, and managed a tear filled, “Alright, I guess you win.”
Sunset rubbed at the back of her head, her smile apologetic. “I’m sorry.”
Rainbow Dash waved her hand dismissively. “It’s alright. I suppose True Love is a lot more noble than revenge, anyway. So why are you here, and not with your lover?”
“She…” Sunset’s face darkened, and she swallowed. “The king forcefully took her for his bride. I tried to save her once, and failed. I won’t do so again.”
“Waitaminute.” Rainbow Dash’s jaw dropped, and she shook her head. “Your lover is Queen Twilight?”
The sun finally slipped below the horizon, and the air seemed to grow colder. Sunset shook her head, her eyes distant. “She wasn’t always a Queen. We grew up together. Promised that our hearts would always be one. She’s the entire world to me.”
Rainbow Dash growled, fury giving her the strength to push herself to her feet. She looked for her sword, but it lay halfway across the tower. “I don’t know if you’re out of the loop or what, but Queen Twilight is a ruthless tyrant! She personally issued the decree that raised taxes high enough in my village to bankrupt my family!”
Sunset stared, her mouth hanging open. “That’s… impossible. Twilight would never do something like that. It must be a mistake. The King issued that order, I’m sure of it.”
“My family didn’t make it,” Rainbow Dash spat. She clenched her fists hard enough for her nails to dig into her palm. “The King hasn’t made a public appearance in years. Everyone says that the Queen runs the show now.”
“You’re wrong.” Sunset shook her head and stumbled backwards. “I know Twilight better than anyone. If you want, I’ll help you get revenge against the King. I have to save Twilight anyway, and I wouldn’t mind kicking the old bastard’s teeth in during the process.”
“I…” Rainbow Dash took a deep breath. She supposed what Sunset was saying could be true. But… “If you’ll have me, then I’ll have my revenge.”
Sunset nodded, and let out a long sigh. “Good. This will be a lot easier than going at it alone. And hopefully, a lot easier with the boon of a powerful wizard.” She turned towards the corner of the tower where Starswirl still stood and raised her eyebrow.
Starswirl chuckled, his beard flapping in the breeze. “Oh no, don’t mind me. But congratulations on your victory, Sunset Shimmer. So you want a boon that will help you in rescuing your true love, hmm?
“I’ll do whatever it takes.”
With a flourish, Starswirl produced a pair of golden rings. “These rings will make their bearers invisible, so long as each is worn by a different person.” He strode forward to place them into Sunset’s palm, then waggled his bushy eyebrows “They are yours, to do with what you wish. I recommend finding a good partner to use them effectively.”
Sunset took the proffered rings and smiled. “Invisibility, huh?” She turned, and offered one to Rainbow Dash. “What do you say, partner? Love and Revenge?”
Rainbow Dash’s heart pounded in her chest, and she couldn’t help a grin of her own. She took Sunset’s hand. “Revenge and Love.”
This time around, Sunset was sure to prepare.
Together, they spent weeks in the capitol city, listening, gathering information. The rumors they’d heard about the Queen were unsettling, but it had to be a mistake. She made sure to learn guard patrols, figure out the palace schedule, and even managed to track down some blueprints from the architects’ guild. Finally, they settled on an opening.
Every night at the same time, the king took a private dinner in his chambers with the queen.
Sunset grunted as the guard fell unconscious into her arms, then gently laid him down on the floor. Administering a sleeping poison was incredibly easy when nobody could see you. “Dash? You there?”
“Yeah, I’m right with you.” Rainbow Dash’s whisper came from nearby. “This is it, huh?”
“Yeah.” Sunset’s heart pounded in her chest. Right behind this door was Twilight Sparkle. They’d finally be reunited. But it had been so long. Did Twilight still love her? Did she hate her, for failing to save her?
Firm fingers found their way around Sunset’s shoulder and squeezed, even though neither of them could see the other. “You can do this,” Rainbow Dash said.
Sunset took a deep breath. “Right. No point in wasting any more time.” Gingerly, she twisted the door handle, pulled the door open, and slipped inside.
The king’s chambers were large, vast, and luscious. Several large curtains partitioned the room into different sections, and through one Sunset could see the shadows of people cast by flickering candlelight, accompanied by the scrapes of a knife against a plate.
Rainbow Dash closed the door behind her and locked it.
All she had to do was round the corner. Sunset squeezed her eyes shut, took another deep breath, then peeked.
Twilight Sparkle sat at the head of a long table, idly cutting into a steak. She was older, more beautiful, more refined. The elegant dress and jewelry she wore embodied the very definition of luxury.
Halfway down the table sat the king. A wrinkly old man, head slumped next to a bowl of mush, eyes vacant and drooling.
Sunset stared, both enraptured by Twilight and somewhat confused by the situation. She would have been happy to simply watch Twilight for the rest of her life, but a soft elbow from Rainbow Dash brought her back to her senses.
Twilight blinked, then looked up, her eyes narrowing in suspicion. “Is someone there?”
Well, no sense it putting it off any longer. Sunset stepped backwards out of sight, then slipped off the ring so she became visible once more, and stepped forward again. “Hey, Twilight.”
The fork clattered to the table, and Twilight clasped her hands over her mouth, her eyes wide. “Sunset? I… is that really you? They told me your ship sunk, and that you had died!”
Sunset blinked. “No, I’m… I served to the end of my sentence, and I’ve come here once again to rescue you.” She glanced over at the king, who hadn’t reacted at all.
Eyes brimming with tears, Twilight pushed herself away from the table, hiking up her dress and running over. She leapt into Sunset’s arms, and their lips met. The sweet hunger of passion, of love long lost and now found again filled them both, and they melted into the embrace.
Rainbow Dash looked away, her face bright red.
The kiss shook Sunset to her very soul, and she was loathe to end it, but they couldn’t exactly stay here. “You have no idea how much I’ve missed you,” Sunset whispered, her voice choking up. “How much the thought of you has kept me going all this time. But we can get into that later. We must leave quickly. There are horses waiting, and—”
Twilight laughed, the sound a melody from the sweetest angels, and pushed against Sunset’s chest playfully. “Leave? Don’t be ridiculous, Sunset. We don’t have to go anywhere.”
Sunset frowned. “What do you mean? The guards will notice eventually, and with the king... “ She peered past Twilight. The King was still drooling on the table. “What’s going on, Twilight?”
“That’s Queen Twilight to you,” Twilight said with a smirk, fanning her neck with her fingers. “That old bastard went senile six months after the wedding. For all intents and purposes, I rule this country.” After a few moments, her face fell. “I would have called back your prison ship, had they not told me it sank. I’m sorry. I can’t imagine what that must have been like.”
“That’s…” Sunset’s heart sunk to the pit of her stomach. Everything Rainbow Dash had said. It couldn’t really be true. Right?
“Hold on a second,” Rainbow Dash growled, her voice low, and stepped around the corner. “You’re saying that you really were in charge two years ago? You were actually making the policy decisions?”
Twilight blinked, then turned to Rainbow Dash, her nose turned up. She raised an eyebrow at Sunset. “Just who is this?”
Sunset shook her head. “This is Rainbow Dash. She’s my friend. I could never have made it here without her.”
“I see. Well, any friend of Sunset’s is a friend of—”
“Answer. The question,” Rainbow Dash spat, her words as sharp as any knife.
Twilight narrowed her eyes. “I won’t be spoken to like that by some peasant. But yes. I am the Queen, and I make the decisions that affect my country. It’s kind of in the job description.”
Sunset’s knees felt weak, and she stumbled, hanging onto the curtain for support. This couldn’t be happening.
Sunset waited patiently, but when Twilight didn’t continue the story, she frowned, and sat up in bed. “Are we taking a break or something? I assume that’s not the end.”
Twilight stared at the book, her brow furrowed. She traced her finger down the page, and took a deep breath. “We’re pretty close to the end, but… I don’t really like the way this book ends. Or I didn’t.”
“Okay.? Sunset wiped the sweat off her brow, and took another swig of water. “Why are we reading this in the first place if you don’t like it?”
“Because the story impacted me anyway.” Twilight bit her lip, and twiddled her thumbs together. “So much that I actually went and… well, nevermind. It’s dumb.”
Sunset raised an eyebrow. “I get the feeling there’s something you’re not telling me here. But well, if you want me to know or understand something, you’ll have to tell me. I can’t read your mind.” She paused for an appropriate beat, then smirked and continued, “Well, I can read your mind, but I won’t because that would be rude. I’ll wait for you to tell me on your own. In the meantime, I’m getting pretty hyped for this final conversation, lets keep going.”
Twilight giggled, then let out a sigh. “You’re right, sorry. Might as well finish.”
“You killed my family!” Rainbow Dash shouted, her face red. “Or, I suppose, your incompetent rulership forced my family into poverty. Either way, their blood is on your hands. Give me one reason why I shouldn’t run you through right now.”
Twilight took a step back, gasping and covering her mouth with her hand. “Unbelievable. Is this the kind of hired help you’ve fallen in with? Please, Sunset, leash your dog, and let’s find somewhere more civil to catch up.”
Sunset grit her teeth, and her heart pounded in her chest. “Twilight… is what she’s saying true? Is what everyone’s saying true? Are you just a tyrant?”
“I’m the Queen, Sunset. I rule the common people.” Twilight turned to Sunset, her smile sickeningly sweet. “Isn’t that what we always talked about as kids? Ruling the world together?”
“Not like this.” Sunset shook her head, her eyes brimming with tears. “You were the world to me, Twilight. I didn’t need anything else. Come on, this can’t be true, right? It was really the king who issued those decrees… or maybe you were tricked by your advisors! Yeah, that must be it!”
Twilight clicked her tongue. “Oh, my dear, sweet, Sunset. You’ve missed so much during your years at sea. A lot has changed. But changed for the better! Come, you can be my consort. The life of luxury is grand, I assure you. You’ll love it here.”
Sunset took a deep breath, tears streaming down her face as her heart rent itself in two. “No,” she choked out, barely a whisper.
“No?”
“No,” She said more firmly this time. “You’re not the girl I loved anymore. If this is who you really are… then I want nothing to do with it.”
“I don’t think you quite understand, Sunset. I’m the Queen. Nobody says no to me.” Twilight stepped forward, reaching out and caressing Sunset’s cheek. Her slender fingers rubbed against her skin in a way that made her blood boil, all sorts of intimate memories rushing to the forefront.
“I…”
Something sharp stabbed into Sunset’s neck, and she cried out in pain. “What did you…”
Twilight stepped back, the sharp edge of a ring she wore glistening in the candlelight. “You’ll come around, I’m sure of it.”
Sunset’s head swam, her muscles gave out, and she collapsed to the floor.
Rainbow Dash’s eyes went wide, and she drew her sword. “What did you do to her?”
“It’s just a simple paralytic. She’ll be fine in a few hours, I’m sure.” Unconcerned about the armed woman only a few feet away, Twilight casually walked back to the table, reached underneath, and pulled out a elaborate and slender rapier, which she unsheathed. “As for you, well. I could shout for the guards until my voice went raw, but as a Queen, I have access to the finest fencing teachers in the nation. I might as well get a chance to put my skills to use, right?”
“No, don’t,” Sunset wheezed. She could still move, to an extent, but she couldn’t summon the strength to push herself off the ground even a little bit. “Please, it doesn’t have to end like this!”
Rainbow Dash screamed a cry of wordless fury, and lunged forward, steel flashing in a deadly arc.
Twilight met her blade with blinding speed, easily swatting her blows aside, and quickly reversing the momentum. Her own rapier lashed out, scoring shallow cuts along Rainbow Dash’s cheeks, and one on her shoulder.
“Damn you!” Rainbow Dash growled. She leapt backwards, keeping her distance.
Twilight flicked the blood off her blade, and sneered. “Is that all? I’ve already bested all of my teachers, I suppose I shouldn’t have expected some random peasant to be a challenge. No matter. I’ll end this quickly.” She narrowed her eyes, and launched into another ruthless assault.
Sunset could see that Rainbow Dash was completely outmatched. She doubted she could have taken on Twilight herself. She doubted they could have taken on Twilight together. But she had to do something. Anything!
Her muscles barely obeyed her commands to move, but she dragged herself forward along the carpet anyway. Inch by agonizing inch. Her hand landed on something circular and metallic.
The ring of invisibility. Rainbow Dash still had hers on.
There was no such thing as a fair fight, right?
Tears in her eyes, Sunset managed to flex her fingers just enough to slip one inside the ring. “I’m sorry.”
Rainbow Dash vanished.
Twilight stumbled in her lunge, her eyes going wide.
It was all the opening Rainbow Dash needed. An invisible rapier pierced Twilight’s chest.
Sunset screamed. She might as well have delivered the killing stroke herself, to the woman she loved.
Twilight’s sword slipped from limp fingers, and she slumped to the ground.
Adrenaline coursed through Sunset, and muscles that shouldn’t have been able to work found themselves dragging her across the carpet anyway, until she collapsed on top of Twilight, staring into her eyes. “I’m sorry,” she blubbered. “I’m sorry. I love you, but… I’m so sorry.”
Twilight chuckled, which turn into a rasping cough. She raised a hand to cup Sunset’s cheek, and smiled. “I guess I’m a bit greedy, huh? You would have been happy, you know, here at the palace with me.”
Rainbow Dash turned away, eyes closed.
Sunset sobbed, and held Twilight until the last of her light left her.
Hours later, after having made their escape, Sunset and Rainbow Dash sat on a hill overlooking the capital city, the first rays of the morning sun peeking out over the horizon.
“I’m sorry,” Rainbow Dash muttered, breaking the silence.
Sunset shook her head. Everything felt numb. “Some boon this was.”
Rainbow Dash nodded, twisting the invisibility ring about in her palm. “Revenge doesn’t feel as good as I hoped it would.”
“Neither does love.”
A cool breeze blew across them, and they stayed silent for several more minutes until Sunset barked out a short and bitter laugh. “I started with nothing. Finally found some hope. And now it’s all gone. I have nothing again.”
“I…” Rainbow Dash bit her lip and shook her head. “I don’t think I have nothing. Because… we still have each other, right?”
Sunset blinked, then turned to Rainbow Dash. A smile slowly crept across her face, and she let out a long sigh. “Yeah, I guess we do.”
Together, they watched the sun rise over the city, and wondered what the future held for them.
“Wow.” Sunset rubbed at the back of her head. “That took a turn for tragedy.”
“Yeah…” Twilight mumbled. She twiddled her fingers together, not meeting Sunset’s gaze.
Sunset stretched backwards, her back popping. “Still I kind of liked it anyway. Has a nice sense of poignancy to it. I guess the ultimate lesson we learned today is that I should hook up with Rainbow Dash instead, right? Sorry babe, I love you, but the book said so.”
Twilight blinked. “The character isn’t actually Rainbow Dash, you know.”
“Unless…” Sunset gasped in mock surprise, then grinned wickedly. “This was all your way of angling for a threesome with Rainbow Dash? Bit convoluted way of going about it, if you ask me, but hey, I’m down if she is. Next time just ask though.”
“Ugh, don’t be stupid!” Twilight crossed her arms over her chest and harrumphed. “First of all, no. Second of all, if we were going to have a threesome with anybody, it wouldn’t be Rainbow Dash.”
Sunset raised an eyebrow. “Oh really? What’s wrong with Rainbow Dash?”
Twilight rolled her eyes. “She’d want to stop and high five you like, every ten seconds.”
“Yeah, that’s true.”
They both waited a moment before bursting out into laughter.
“Okay, but seriously though,” Sunset said with a grin. “What about this ending bugged you so much?”
Twilight sighed. “I don’t know. It wasn’t the ending I wanted, I guess. I read this when I was ten, you know. And it made me realize things about myself I’d never even considered before. About liking girls and stuff. Not to mention that the Rainbow Dash character was actually a dude, so blech. I was really invested in the Sunset-Twilight relationship, even if, in retrospect, it’s kind of shallow. I wanted them to be happy. I wanted everyone to be happy.”
Twilight cleared her throat, her face bright red. “I even, um, went so far as to write my own alternate ending.”
“Now this I have to see.”
“It’s not very good.” Twilight reached into her bag, and pulled out a worn and faded school notebook, and opened to a page filled with elegant handwriting written in purple glitter pen. “Promise you won’t laugh?”
Sunset held her hand over her heart. “If it’s something you worked hard on, I promise I’ll love it.”
“Right.” Twilight took a deep breath. “This jumps back a little bit before the confrontation, but yeah. Here we go.”
“You killed my family!” Rainbow Dash shouted in anger.
Twilight fell to her knees crying. “I’m so so sorry! Back when I first started my advisors told me what to do and they made up those taxes!”
Sunset hugged Twilight real tightly. “Please forgive her I love her.”
Rainbow Dash let her anger go and sighed. “I’m sorry I forgive you but you have to let me kill those advisors okay?”
“Of course they’re all jerks anyway. And I won’t need any advisors if I have you ruling by my side, Sunset. Will you be my Queen, so we can rule over the Queendom together?”
“Of course I will,” Sunset said and kissed her real hard. “We’ll rule together and I love you very very much.”
“And I’ll be your faithful knight!” said Rainbow Dash.
“I love you too,” Twilight said, and they kissed and kissed forever and ever, and lived happily ever after.
The end.
Sunset applauded politely, a smile on her face. “It’s very cute.”
Twilight chuckled nervously, then brushed some stray hair back behind her ear. “Thanks.”
They sat there in silence for a few moments, before Sunset spoke up again. “It meant a lot to you, huh?”
“Yeah. Like I said, I was pretty invested in the story as a kid. I actually went ahead and scanned my copy and mailed it to the author, along with a letter explaining why I thought my version was better.” Twilight winced, and squirmed in her seat.
Sunset took a deep breath, smiling broadly. “I understand. Thanks for sharing this all with me. I liked it a bunch. I’d go over there and hug and kiss you to illustrate the point, but, you know.”
Twilight laughed, then pulled her face mask down. She brought her fingers to her lips, then reached down to press them against Sunset’s lips. “I love you.”
“I love you too,” Sunset murmured, then she grinned, and slurped her tongue around Twilight’s fingers, making lewd sucking noises. “Mmm, you taste so good, baby.”
“Gross!” Twilight shrieked, pulling her fingers away and flicking away the saliva. She burst out laughing, wiped her fingers on Sunset’s bed sheets, then grabbed the hand sanitizer off the counter. “I should probably get going, and let you rest.”
“Probably.” Sunset stretched and yawned. “Being around you is the best medicine. I’m sure I’ll be be in top shape tomorrow.”
Twilight stuck her tongue out. “You’d better be. Because otherwise I’ll be back tomorrow with another book.”
Sunset raised an eyebrow. “Oh? What’s this one going to be about?”
“Let’s see.” Twilight pressed a finger to her lips. “Since this book was what helped awaken my love for ladies, how about I bring over the book that helped awaken my love for theoretical physics?”
“Oh boy, that sounds exciting,” Sunset said, rolling her eyes.
“Sure is!” Twilight said, her eyes sparkling in earnest.
In a few minutes, Twilight had packed up the rest of her things. They exchanged a few more goodbyes, and soon enough, she was stomping down the stairs to the loft, and at the front door.
“Hey Twilight,” Sunset called out before she could leave. “Do you want to rule the world together with me?”
Twilight frowned, thinking. Then she smiled, and aimed a finger gun at Sunset. “We don’t need to rule over the world together. Because you’re already the world to me, and quite frankly, we rule.”
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This was definitely a pleasant surprise on a cold Monday evening. Thank you!
Also, why don't we have a smiling Sunset? Someone should really get onto that.
Yet another masterpiece. You, sir, are my favorite SunLight author, if not my favorite in general.
*sneeeerrrrrk*
BWAHAHAHA!
^^
Me: .... Dance, boner dance!
I assume this isn’t the same universe as Fractured Sunlight, but given how literally everything you write is a well crafted treat, I don’t think it matters.
I like it.
I am outraged at the way the short story ended. Clearly the author was just trying to push their heteronormative agenda! While Twilight's ending wasn't perfect, it's infinitely preferable.
As a fan of the Princess Bride film, I approve of this story.
Cheesy and delicious. Like nachos.
Needs more Andre the Giant. Other than that, this was a nice little romantic romp. Good luck in the contest!
so whod be the third person?
oh SHIT, I'm competing with the Princess Bride. That's just not fair.
This is so much better than the two-thirds of a story i've managed to write.
This was cute. That’s really all I have to say.
I haven't read that many of the entries in this contest but this is the only one that actually made me laugh. If it was up to me, you'd win. Have a fav and a like. The Frank approves.
Wasn't expecting the evil queen route, but it was enjoyable none the less.
8715619
Big Mac the Giant?
*snerk*
8715035
None who gaze upon The Area are left untouched by its power.
And this, my friends, is what makes authors want to make AUs of their own works.
I really do enjoy how you took the basic setup and made your own fairy tale out of it, by the way. Excellent work!
Sweet, hilarious, and with some wonderfully unexpected turns. Excellent fable flavor and wonderful Sunlight. Thank you for it... even if I do kind of wish these two would take over the world.
What if Spring Break begins and Sunset decides to spend the whole week in Sci-Twi's home doing nothing but making love like rabbits in their burrow?
I was prepared for more comedy when Twilight read her version of the story. I found myself smiling and dead inside.
Bruh.
ok this was cute i loved it so the question thoe is what drove the queen mad was it the despair over loosing her love
Nobody suspects the Spanish Inquisition!
9/10 for the story! Bravo to the author!
I like Twilight's ending better.
Seriously, great job. It was adorable, exciting and had some real funny moments.
...Wait.... Bloodfist Thunderpunch had arms that were skinny enough to fit into the Pringles can? I call shenanigans.
*Slow clap*
Oh yeah? I'm sure the author was, indeed, struggling with Pringles at that point. Isn't that right, author?
I agree with Twilight, her ending is far more to my taste than the authors. The SunLight will last FOREVER!
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Not quite HIS boner that I was taking about.
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The Area is all, the one universal constant. Its presence may be felt within all of us. Some have tried to claim that with the temporary hiatus of Its mortal Host, the Area has been forever lost to us, but those who Know and can See will understand that the Area will be forever within us. If you meditate on Its Holy Images, you too can feel the Area within you.
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.....You COMPLETELY missed the point of my joke, didn’t you?
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My child, all boners are but aspects of the One True Boner. fnord
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Ok, whatever.
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You're silly. I like you.
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.....
Ummm, ok?
Just like Lyra and Bon Bon!
Well what else would she call it?
So do I, write an alt ending.
Hitmonchan used its Z-Move, BLOODFIST THUNDERPUNCH!!! It's super effective!
Write that alt ending too.
What is this key made of that it floats? Maybe if it was tied to a cork or something.
....no comment.
Well that's just rude, Sunset!
...invite her to join in.
Evil Twilight, didn't see that one comin'.
SunDash as a consolation prize? Well, better than nothing.
Well obviously!
Another delightfully hilarious and fluffy oneshot from you.
Great story (of course), but I find myself obsessing over what the original author was thinking with that "twist" ending.
I mean, in Princess Bride, you have a romance, which then becomes a love triangle with the addition of the prince, which is then resolved when the prince is revealed to be the villain. And various friendships are made along the way. In the end, True Love triumphs.
In this case you have a romance, followed by a friendship. The romance is betrayed and then the friends decide to become lovers at the end as a consolation prize. Hardly the kind of story that anybody is going to read twice.
So what did the author have against the "Twilight" character? I mean, she was willing to love someone who would be bad for her future as a merchant, so she isn't solely ruled by ambition. Is the author trying to teach a lesson about the corruption of power? The danger of crossing class boundaries? Is he secretly a homophobe trying to teach the lesson that falling in love with your own gender will always end with tears? Or is he perhaps going with the stereotype that all merchants are Jewish, and he's anti-Semitic?
And then of course comes my final question: Who in their right mind reads this kind of story to a sick, possibly dying kid? To make sure that Twilight goes out of this world learning the vital lesson to never trust government officials???
...Or is the intended lesson that you should always bet on the badasses of the world to come out on top. OK, I can buy that one.
Well, that was a feelsy trip.
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Exploring the hypothetical authors mindset wasn't really within the scope of the story, but for a slightly more charitable interpretation, you could say that they wrote it quickly, decided to go for the tragic twist to make it more 'poignant' and didn't stop to consider the implications.
It's also only a short story, not even a full novel, which don't often stand out as long lasting or memorable. It just resonated with Twilight because it hit her hard at a particular time in her life.
Or you know, all that other stuff. It's ambiguous!
Needs the line:
"Yo. My name's Rainbow Dash. You killed my family. Imma stab you in the face."
That was a lot heavier than I expected, but it was quite good
So cheesy, but so true.
I'm not entirely sure if I liked the story (then again I probably read far too much into "like The Princess Bride") but I love that last line.
"Dance magic, dance" has never been so appropriate.
Looking forward to that next Nightmare Night.
I guess homages to the great comedic works are the subject du jour for the Comedy Contest. I've been loving seeing how everyone does a completely fresh take on famous comedic works that feels natural within the MLP setting, and this is no exception. Twilight and Sunset really shine through in both the "real world" and within the fictional book itself (well okay, ending book Twilight is more like Midnight, but still), and additional commentary, just as in the original Princess Bride, really adds a nice comedic flair to the whole thing.
So, are you going to drop random teasers for Twilight's Baby for the next fifty years?
Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww that was adorable
I chuckled. It was cute and fun.
Murdered me. XD
Oh god, how much did it hurt to write that fanfic ending?
Wait, what? No, in retrospect I should expect that of Twilight Sparkle and someone she's dating.