8 - The Haze That Follows
Sunset Shimmer lay in bed and stared at the ceiling. A string of lights wrapped around the railing of the balcony her bed rested on along with the stairs leading up to it gave the room just enough glow for her to see. She wasn’t sure how long it had been since night had come. She wasn’t sure how long she had been lying there.
She could have very well tried to fall asleep. She was sure it would come eventually. For now, however, the drive to sleep was not there.
Thoughts swam through her head. Thoughts she wasn’t ready to stop thinking about just yet.
There was the process of rediscovering the past, sure. That would take time, but she learned more every day. There was the process of catching up with everything academic she had missed. That was a little more complicated; she wondered if this would hurt her performance so much that they would have to hold her back a grade.
Did that even matter? What meaning did an education over here even have, anyway? She didn’t even know what doors it would open anymore; she didn’t even know what doors there were, period.
Sunset sighed. That was long-term. And besides, there was a good reason she had been able to become Princess Celestia’s protege once; with that, and with all the support she apparently had over here, she could make it work. She had before.
There were the real wounds from all of this to think about.
Sunset had heard of broken hearts before, but she had never felt what that was like. As far as her still-remaining memories gave her, she hadn’t even loved somepony like she had loved Twilight in another life, or like Twilight probably loved her. She hadn’t loved, much less had a heart broken.
Twilight was in pain, sure. That pain would probably never go away. At least, that was if the stories about broken hearts were true.
Sunset rolled over. If her past self had gone through this same thing, would she have been broken-hearted like Twilight was now?
There was only one way to heal Twilight’s broken heart, and that was to find love and return it to her.
Sunset sighed. That would be lying. Lying to someone. Herself. Or Twilight.
And then there was Wallflower Blush. Wallflower, who had been forever invisible and would now be among the most visible to everyone. She would now be visible to everyone for the one thing, the one terrible and awful thing she had done.
What was there to expect? How would they receive her? Certainly not like Twilight had.
Sunset shuddered. Hopefully not.
There had been the sharp and spiteful way her friends had looked at her. Even the principal and vice principal, while carrying themselves like the adults they were, hadn’t looked so kindly at her. It was likely that the rest of the school would follow the same pattern.
Wallflower was a nothing, undeserving of a second chance.
Sunset sighed through her nose; she too had apparently been in that exact spot. And yet here she was having had a second chance.
Sunset lay there in her bed, turning the thoughts in her head without actually taking them anywhere.
* * *
Wallflower Blush tried to step onto the curb and found, to some mixture of amazement, relief, and terror, that she could not. She shuddered in her sneakers as she gazed up the front lawn of Canterlot High School.
A few other classmates now walked up the lawn, thankfully heedless of her existence for now. But it was entirely possible that they would know soon enough.
Stepping forward meant facing a constant but somewhat-known judgment.
Stepping backward meant facing an unknown but potentially horrific judgment.
“Well?” said a voice from beside her. Wallflower whirled to see Vice Principal Luna towering over her with her arms crossed. “Go on.”
Wallflower shuddered again and turned her eyes back toward the school. Luna’s piercing gaze finally prompted her to take that step onto the curb. And then she took another followed by several more.
Eventually, Wallflower climbed the front steps and made her way through the glass doors leading into the school.
Several more students loitered about the school’s two-story foyer. Most were engaged in conversations about various topics, none of which seemed out of the norm, while others walked through on their way to their first-period classes. She had seen all this idleness before.
She then spotted a couple of girls, Lyra and Bon Bon, who chatted near the trophy case, pausing to look at her. Their eyes narrowed and their conversation descended into sharp whispers.
She shuddered and dipped into the hall. She found the same idle chatter and traffic in the hallways. She was prepared to let out a sigh of relief when she spotted another small group notice her and similarly turn cross. She sped up, intent to get where she was going as soon as possible.
Wallflower reached her locker and left her backpack inside, taking only the books she needed for her first class. She shut her locker, choosing not to linger when she spotted some more glares. And now at least one other person knew where she hung her coat.
She decided against outright rushing through the halls, as that would draw attention, so she settled for a brisk walk. It would get her there faster, at least. The halls had already started to thin out in anticipation of an imminent bell, so she received no more hardened or accusatory looks at least.
She eventually made it to Miss Harshwhinny’s classroom. She shuffled along the wall and made her way to her desk in the back corner of the room next to the window. Wallflower set her books down and slotted herself into her seat.
A few moments later, the bell rang. Miss Harshwhinny herself, dressed in her usual business attire, snorted and pulled the door shut.
“Good morning class,” Miss Harshwhinny said as she walked back center. “Before we get started this morning, there has been a change to the assigned seats. I will briefly summarize.” She approached the middle row and swept a line. “You two will shift over by one seat this way,” she said. She then walked to the end. “And this column, you will all move one seat back.”
Wallflower looked. Miss Harshwhinny was cycling the seats by a space. But there was nowhere for her to go.
“Wallflower Blush,” Miss Harshwhinny said in a stern tone—her tone was always stern, but this was especially so, even by her standards. She pointed to what would be the vacant seat at the front. “How nice of you to finally join us. You will be front and center from now on.”
Without looking—she looked anyway—Wallflower could tell that all eyes in the room were focused on her, glaring and staring and trying to pierce her. Their glares intensified as she stood up and shuffled to the front of the room, clutching her books tight against her chest as she stared directly forward as to not meet any of their eyes.
By the time she got up there, all the others had moved to their new seats, leaving her space to sit down. Even after she did, she could feel their eyes on the back of her head. She did not—she could not even turn to see them back, but they could see her; every moment of her.
She looked up. Miss Harshwhinny was staring down her nose at her. Her brow was always furrowed, but the glare in her eyes looked almost adversarial. Wallflower couldn’t help but wilt under her gaze.
“Good. Now, let’s begin. We will pick up where we left off,” Miss Harshwhinny began. She lingered before finally turning to the board to begin her lecture.
And just like that, Wallflower’s mind raced with predictions of what the rest of the day—no, the rest of her life, her miserable, possibly short life had in store.
* * *
Ponyville’s City Hall, with its yellow siding and red-bricked roof, looked like a carousel in shape. A spacious green surrounded it, broken only by a circular fountain with a statue of a mare in its center as well as the occasional busybodies and pedestrians.
Starlight Glimmer and Moondancer trotted inside. A spacious interior greeted them. Several balconies clung to the perimeter of the tall hall, while the floor space offered doorways to a few adjacent rooms. The two meandered toward one of the doors and stepped through there. They entered a small office space with a few desks, all of which were presently unoccupied, and a counter at which a lone mare sat.
That mare looked up. “Starlight Glimmer, Moondancer, good morning.”
“Crystal Faire,” Starlight replied. She placed a small set of papers on the desk. “I have Princess Twilight’s report on the state of readiness for Ponyville and the surrounding areas for the quarter.”
“Very well,” Crystal replied. She scanned the documents and then nodded. “This report is in-form and authentic. Just as I would expect. Thank you.” She grabbed a folder and slotted the documents into them. “You may inform her that it will be presented at the next meeting.”
Starlight glanced around, double-checking that it was just the three of them in the room, and then she approached the counter. “Crystal, we need to talk.”
Crystal slotted the folder into an organizer on a desk behind her and then stood there with her rear to them. She sighed through her nose. “I know.”
“You’ve been pretty unfair to Twilight, Crystal,” Starlight said.
“Yeah,” Moondancer agreed, looking at Starlight for approval.
After another moment, Crystal turned and returned to her seat. “Well, I would be lying if I said that I haven’t been giving her reactions to all of this some thought. It is… curious to me. In some ways confounding.”
“Confounding?” Moondancer asked. “What do you mean by that?”
“Confounding, yes. I’ve seen plenty worse out there than what has happened to Sunset. In fact, I do believe there are worse things happening right this second than what happened to Sunset. That is just reality. I would have expected someone as experienced as Twilight to be privy to some of those sorts of things.”
“But this is different, Crystal,” Starlight said. “This is close to home. This is somepony close to us.”
Crystal placed her forelegs on the counter. “Well… I suppose that is true. I cannot deny that. But it is difficult for me to relate. I am not one to be in that frame of mind. My thoughts are always on the big picture. The intricacies and nuances of individual ponies, including my own, are not something that I factor in, more often than not.”
“I mean...” Starlight threw her hooves in the air. “You know what? You’re right. You’re absolutely right. In the grand scheme of things, this really doesn’t matter. I guess Equestria isn’t going to fall into ruin because of this. This isn’t putting anypony in danger or anything.”
Starlight then pointed in the direction of the castle despite it not being visible. “But right now, this whole thing means the entire bucking world to Twilight. Come on, Crystal. In some roundabout way, she’s—”
“I know. I know.” Crystal sighed, cutting Starlight off as she rested her head on one of her hooves. “I’m just not sure why,” she muttered.
Moondancer frowned and finally propped her forelegs on the counter, bringing herself closer to Crystal’s height. “She’s in love. Can’t you see that?”
Crystal blinked. Crystal looked up. “What?”
“Twilight’s in love with Sunset. At least, I’m pretty sure she is...” She paused as she stole a glance at Starlight. “Well, I mean, I’ve seen these sorts of things in all the books that I’ve read. I’m not super familiar with what love feels like or anything.”
Starlight shrugged. “No. She’s right. Twilight’s in love.”
Moondancer turned. “Haven’t you ever been in love before?”
Starlight furrowed her brow as she read Crystal’s face for a response.
“I… cannot say that I have,” Crystal solemnly replied.
“Really? Never?” Moondancer asked.
“Not in the way that you are describing. And I truly doubt I will ever be so fortunate.”
“Don’t say that.” Moondancer shook her head. “I would have to imagine there is somepony out there for you.”
“No. There is not.” Crystal’s features fell as she averted her gaze. “I do think that it would be extraordinarily difficult for anypony to love somepony like me. You might perchance agree with that. And because of the nature surrounding my true job, I cannot imagine it would be easy for me to find somepony to love back.”
Moondancer wilted. “Well… that’s…”
“As it stands, there are very few ponies to whom I hold any significant sense of attachment towards, and just as few I would consider calling ‘significant’ in and of themselves.”
Starlight joined Moondancer leaning over the counter. “Okay. What about you and your mother, Crystal?”
Crystal paused. “What about her?”
Starlight threw a hoof into the air again. “You didn’t feel anything for her? She died in your forelegs, Crystal. Come on!”
Crystal shrugged. “Well…”
Moondancer blinked and then shook her head. “Wait. Wait wait wait. Hold on. What!?” As the other two looked at her, she stared at both of them. “What is all this?”
Starlight chuckled. “Oh. Right. You weren’t there.”
“What in the hay happened?” She focused on Crystal’s unusually untroubled expression and narrowed her eyes. “Did that actually happen? Are you for real?” Her voice turned sharp. “And you have no idea how Twilight feels?”
“It wasn’t like that,” Crystal snapped.
“Really? Then what was it like?” Moondancer paused.
“Conclusive. Inevitable.” Crystal narrowed her eyes. “What do you want from me?”
“I want to know what happened. That’s what.” Moondancer groaned, rolled her eyes, and turned to Starlight. “And how do you know about it?”
Starlight shrunk. “Uh… I was there. So was Twilight.”
Moondancer pinched the bridge of her nose. “Sure. So this must be that adventure I’ve heard things about. And no one will tell me about it.”
“And that is regrettable,” Crystal replied. “But I truthfully cannot say much about it without drastically altering your world view… and I do not think that now is a good time to do that.”
“I’d still like to know! I want to be able to ask!”
“You should sooner ask Starlight here about the time she dragged Twilight through time in an attempt to ruin Twilight’s friendships instead?”
Moondancer blinked. She looked over. “What?”
Starlight blushed and scratched her head. “Ah, you remember the time I said I started a cult? Well, Twilight and her friends broke that up. I got angry so I tried to go back in time and break her friendships before they started.” She flicked her right hoof a few times, as if to brush away the thought. “I was really awful back then.”
After a palpable pause, Moondancer giggled. “Wow. That’s… uh, impressive?”
“The adventure in which my path crossed with theirs was even more complicated. But those particulars will never be of any use to you, so I will spare you,” Crystal said, straightening up.
“You could tell her the important bit, at least,” Starlight suggested. “Right?”
“If I must. What is pertinent here, I suppose, is that for the longest time, I thought my mother was dead. I had long accepted that reality, Moondancer. But we did encounter her. It was a surprise, pleasant in some ways. But… I quickly realized that, due to the nature of our adventure… her death, her true death, was unavoidable.”
Starlight sighed. “Yeah…”
Moondancer frowned.
“Suffice to say, I had time to prepare. I went into that adventure thinking she was dead, and… I came out knowing she was dead. Yes, she did die in my grasp. But, again, it was inevitable... and conclusive.”
“So…” Moondancer groaned, “it didn’t hurt? Not even a little bit?”
Crystal grunted. “Well, it did hurt somewhat. But I believe I took it well.”
“I have to imagine a big reason you were able to take it so well is because Twilight was there to help you out big time,” Starlight said. “And you can’t even do the same for her in return.”
“I am not like her,” Crystal hissed. “You’re right. Twilight was very helpful. A rock, even. She is very good like that.” She pointed to herself. “I do not possess those skills. Physical support, I can handle. Emotional support, I haven’t the slightest clue.”
Starlight pursed her lips and then leaned across the counter, hovering over Crystal. “Alright, then how about this?” she said, her tone approaching a whisper. “How would you feel if one day Twilight completely forgot who you were and had no chance of remembering you? How would you feel if Twilight died?”
A long silence passed. Crystal Faire shuddered and met Starlight’s gaze. A knot formed and went up and down her throat.
Starlight hummed and drummed the countertop. “I don’t know about you, but if that happened… I would be beside myself. It would destroy me, Crystal. Do you understand?”
Moondancer sucked in a breath and stared Crystal down, reading for any small changes in her face that might indicate a response.
Crystal shrank under Starlight’s gaze. Her eyes flickered between several spots that didn’t exist. “Yes,” she eventually murmured. “I… understand. I do, completely.”
Starlight nodded. “Okay. That’s Twilight right now. She’s pretty destroyed right now. And you’ve been tone-deaf. Do you see what is wrong with that?”
After a moment, Crystal nodded. “I see.”
“Okay.”
Crystal swallowed. “Alright. Alright. I… Starlight, Moondancer, I must return to my work. I will need to think on this.”
* * *
Twilight Sparkle cantered into the library and then paused to straighten herself up and look presentable. “Sorry to keep you waiting,” she said.
Princess Celestia sat at one of the tables drinking from a teacup. The same table hosted a small workspace containing the remains of several small rocks of all sorts of colors.
She looked up and nodded. “It’s alright, Twilight. I realize this isn’t exactly a scheduled visit, but I found some room in my schedule for today, and there are one or two things that I wanted to talk to you about. Please, sit down.”
Twilight considered Celestia. Celestia’s expression had a certain hardness to it. The list of topics that Celestia would talk about with an expression like that, considering recent events, was short. Twilight wasn’t sure if she liked any of them. So she sighed and took a seat on the cushion opposite. “Okay. What would you like to talk about?”
Celestia’s expression remained unchanged, but she let her silence as she set the teacup onto its little plate speak for her. She folded her forehooves together. “For starters, I received a report from Crystal Faire about what you attempted in the other world a few days ago.”
Twilight shuddered. “Princess, I—”
“And I must... confess my disappointment in you, Twilight.” Celestia finally looked Twilight square in the eyes.
Twilight hung her head, anything to not meet her former mentor’s gaze. Inwardly, she wondered how nice it would be if she could turn invisible at that moment, or if one or both of them could forget all about it.
“I’m sorry,” Twilight replied. “I realize that I let my feelings get the best of me. I shouldn’t have done that. I almost caused problems for everypony.”
After a few more moments, Celestia sighed through her nose. “So long as you remember that, should a situation like that come about again.”
Twilight looked up. “You’re not mad? You’re so calm about this.”
“In a way, I do understand what prompted you to act as you did. I do not condone it, Twilight, but I do understand it. Plus…” She nodded from side to side. “I’m also aware that Crystal Faire gave you a, how should I say, a proper yelling at. So I think I can save my breath in this case. All I wanted to do was express my disappointment. Nothing more.”
“I’m sorry.”
“I must ask.” She pointed at the rock shards next to her. “Are these the fragments of those relics your friends from that world had?”
“Yes. I’m working on putting them back together using the same Relic Reconstitution spell we used on the Memory Stone. I’m hoping to have them ready soon.”
“I am glad that you are taking the time to fix these for them.”
Twilight sheepishly rubbed her leg. “Well, I was the one that broke them. I should make amends.”
“Wise choice, Twilight. Don’t keep them waiting too long.”
“I won’t.”
“Regardless, that isn’t really why I am here. Twilight, I would like your expert advice.”
Twilight let out a relieved sigh and straightened up. “Of course! What do you want me to help you with?”
“Well, let me ask you a question. Do you think I’ve been too distant from Sunset?”
Twilight frowned and leaned forward. “What do you mean by that?”
“I have been thinking about this since all of this started,” Celestia explained, pausing to sip some more of her tea. “It’s true that before all of this, Sunset and I had not spoken since she ran away. A good deal of that makes sense, as she was on the far side of the mirror portal, and that was closed for years. It was the time since we found her again and she turned over a new leaf which concerns me. I didn’t try to talk to her, and I certainly haven’t talked to her relatives for the longest time. I worry that I haven’t done enough to…”
Twilight, on hearing Celestia trail off, nodded. “I see. Well, it’s not too late to change that. Now that…”
Twilight caught herself. She replayed what she had just said in her head. Sunset, as Celestia knew her, had grown angry and run away for many years and then lived a portal away for some time after that. And then this had all happened. A soft gasp escaped her.
Celestia nodded solemnly. “Now I think you see it. That Sunset who I feel like I should have tried to reconnect with is gone, Twilight. It… it is too late.”
Twilight wobbled in her seat as the weight of it all hit her once again. Memories flooded through her and her expression turned distant and sorrowful as she reflected on all of it and on all she had experienced of Sunset. She eventually managed to croak out an “Oh.”
“I’ve been trying to unpack what our relationship was since then. I’ve told myself that, despite how easy it could have been for us to speak directly to each other, or to speak to each other through, say, you, we did not. I knew that she had been reformed, based on what you had told me. I’ve never truly stopped worrying about her, even before that.” Celestia finished her tea. “I can say that Sunset did not really try to make her feelings known to me.”
Twilight pulled herself back together and nodded. “I think she was a little bit afraid of you.”
“I suppose. I can understand that. I had no such fears.” Celestia hung her head. “I do not have such an excuse for not alleviating her fears. I could have reached out to her; I could have passed along a message that she could reach out to me. I did neither.”
Twilight scratched her head as she thought about it. “Princess, I think I understand. But, I think, you weren’t wrong for wanting to give her the space she needed, and the time to come around on her own. I don’t think you had to make the first move.” She paused as she pondered her response. “Maybe it would have been better if she had made the first move anyway.”
A relieved smile spread across Celestia’s face. “Oh. That’s good to hear. I’m glad to see you think that perhaps my choices were not so bad.”
“No. Maybe not. At least, not with her.”
“Oh?”
“But…” Twilight paused, noting a fading of Celestia’s smile, “I can’t recommend doing that all the time. You could still speak to her relatives about all of this and let them know what’s become of her. Let them know that… she’s… okay…” Her voice lost volume with each word.
Celestia blushed. “I agree that I have been rather bad at that.”
“Trust me, Princess, I’ve been on the receiving end of this too. I don’t want to offend you or anything!” Twilight held up her forelegs and waved them. “It’s just… you tend to stay silent on a lot of things that… I wish I knew about. I have to imagine you’re like this with other ponies, and not just me.”
Celestia hummed. “Twilight, what might you suggest for me, then?”
Twilight folded her hooves together and rested her muzzle on them. She sighed into her hooves as she thought. She looked at Celestia, offered no answer, and then looked back down.
“I don’t know how well my suggestion will help you. This whole thing has left me exhausted, Princess, and I’m not really in any state of mind to think these things through,” Twilight replied. “But… I guess one thing that I can say is that maybe you should try to reach out to ponies that might be waiting for you to reach out to them.”
Celestia nodded sagely. “I see.”
“You could reach out to Sunset’s relatives. If you can find them. Uh...” Twilight hazarded, “if there’s something you and Princess Luna really need to talk about, and you haven’t yet, you could start with her… I can’t think of anypony else off the top of my head, but…”
“I understand what you’re trying to say. Thank you, Twilight. That should give me somewhere to start, at least.” Celestia smiled.
* * *
Sunset swapped the books in her hands with a couple sitting on the top shelf of her locker. This part had become like second nature, at least. Calculus was next. That class was, thankfully, pretty easy; the great thing about mathematics was that it didn’t change between worlds. She had learned it all already.
So there was plenty of time to think about other things.
“I am really not looking forward to this test,” Rainbow Dash groaned as she and the others wandered up. “I hate pre-calc!”
Sci-Twi raised an eyebrow. “Well? Did you study?”
Rainbow Dash cringed. “Uh…”
“So that’s a nope,” Applejack grunted. “Come on, Dash, you reap what you sow.”
“Oh, like you’re going to pass.”
“At least Ah’m tryin’ to pass!”
Sunset closed her locker and turned to them. “Sounds like you three are in for some fun.”
Rarity chuckled. “I think I might do fine. Fluttershy, your notes from last year were so helpful,” she said, earning a smile from Fluttershy.
“Oh!” Pinkie Pie said as the seven of them started down the hall, “Let me guess… This is probably that stuff about series, right?”
Applejack glanced up. “Uh… yeah.”
“I remember that! That test was really bad!” Pinkie Pie laughed. “You’re doomed! Dooooooooomed!”
Applejack hid her face behind her Stetson. Rainbow Dash groaned.
Rarity shuddered and leaned close to Fluttershy. “She’s… not serious, right?”
Fluttershy’s smile faded. “Ummmm…”
“I wonder if I took that test once,” Sunset mused.
Fluttershy nodded. “Yes. We had that class last year.”
Pinkie Pie hummed in agreement.
A thought flashed through Sunset’s head. She nodded. “I would not remember that.”
At that, the other six collectively frowned and shared some dejected sighs.
Twilight voiced it for them. “Yes… because of your lost memories…”
Sunset grinned. “No. Because that test would have been super easy. Why would I bother?”
Pinkie Pie snorted and burst into laughter. The others gave nervous chuckles in response.
Rainbow Dash narrowed her eyes. “Hey, screw you, Sunset.”
“Suck less, Rainbow Dash.”
Applejack chuckled. “Hoo wee. Ah ain’t seen that sharp side of ya in a while.”
As the seven passed an intersecting hall, they caught sight of a small commotion down that way. Sunset paused as she tried to see what was going on, and saw many students standing, facing a single point in the hall. She followed their stares to where she saw several papers and a couple of books strewn about the floor.
In the middle of it all, Wallflower Blush rolled over, massaging her hip as she glanced about the bodies looming over her. Her moderate aquamarine hair had various tangles in it and hosted several foreign objects: chewed gum, some glue, and even a lollipop. The yellow striped sweater that was her usual wear had a large, purple stain that covered the entire side which still looked wet.
Sunset stared at them, watching them all carefully. Was this them going out of their way to show Wallflower how they felt about her?
Wallflower’s eyes darted between them one more time. She then crawled across the floor to collect her papers, with not a single soul bending down to assist her. When she approached one of her books, the boy standing over it kicked it across the hall, forcing her to chase after it.
The girls gathered around Sunset in watching the girl struggle with her school supplies. But while Sunset watched with a pensive, disturbed frown, her friends watched with glares.
“Come on, Sunset,” Applejack eventually said, pulling Sunset away. “She ain’t worth worrying about.”
Wallflower finished collecting her things and scrambled down the hall away from them. The seven turned and continued down their own hall.
“I got treated a lot like that, didn’t I?” Sunset asked.
At that, the others exchanged glances.
“Did she?” Sci-Twi asked. “This was before I came along.”
“Eeyup. We saw stuff like that quite a bit,” Applejack said. “Ya know, retribution for all the hell you—well, the old you put everyone through.”
“Yes,” Fluttershy agreed. “That was not so nice.”
“Well, based on what I read in my diary…” Sunset said, “I probably deserved that. That’s… what’s the word I’m looking for?”
Applejack raised an eyebrow. “Justice?”
“Hmmm, yeah. Something like that. I took my lumps for a while.” Sunset scratched her head. “Not gonna lie… It was a little hard to read. I think my mind went to a pretty dark place when I was dealing with all of that.”
Pinkie Pie glanced around then flung herself onto Sunset. “Maybe you did,but we helped you out of that dark place!”
Sunset chuckled and shifted herself to support Pinkie Pie’s weight. “Yeah. Yeah. I’m pretty sure you did. I think I wrote about that a good bit.” As she eventually shrugged Pinkie Pie off, she glanced at all of them. “I’m really lucky to have all of you here to help me.”
“Of course, darling,” Rarity replied.
“No, really. I’m really lucky to have you all. I… really don’t know what I would have done without all of you.”
They all paused in front of some classroom doors and paused to share a hug and some giggles, all centered on Sunset.
After they broke off from their group hug, Applejack, Rainbow Dash, and Rarity continued down the hall, while saying their farewells. Sunset, Sci-Twi, Pinkie Pie, and Fluttershy waved back and gave well-wishes on their upcoming test; they then entered the nearest classroom.
* * *
Sunset finished writing in the last answer on her worksheet. Integration by partial fractions tended to take a little longer, at least in her case, but they were done now. She sat back in her seat and observed the rest of the room. The rest of the room still hunched over their worksheets trying to work out the answers with some consulting their textbooks.
Sunset glanced behind her. Sci-Twi had her book open as well but Sunset guessed she was reading ahead; a theory strengthened when she saw Sci-Twi’s similarly completed worksheet.
A few thoughts that had swimmed about her head throughout the lecture resurfaced, and so she turned in her seat. “Hey, Twilight? Do you have some time?” she said at a reasonably low volume.
Sci-Twi set her book down. “Sure.”
“I need some advice. It’s about Princess Twilight.”
Sci-Twi placed a bookmark and shut her book. She then leaned forward. “Okay. I might be of some help here.”
“I want you to tell me… what do you think my thoughts were on her? How do you think I felt about Princess Twilight?” She paused. “And don’t hold back, okay? Because if you answer the way I think you’re going to answer… I’ve already figured it out. I just want to hear it from you.”
Sci-Twi seemed to stiffen as Sunset spoke and she eventually folded her hands together. She eventually sighed and nodded. “I see. Well, Sunset… Truth is… yes. You…” She twiddled her thumbed together. “I’m pretty sure you liked her.. I think that you probably liked her a lot.”
“You think?”
“It’s not like you ever outright said it or anything. But the clues were there. I mean, I… I knew what to look for, believe it or not.”
Sunset raised an eyebrow and leaned toward Sci-Twi. “You?”
Sci-Twi frowned. “Y… yeah.”
Sunset studied Sci-Twi for a moment, her frown deepening with every passing moment. “You’re saying that like you had feelings for me.”
Sci-Twi blushed and scratched her head. “Well, if you’re asking me to be honest, yes, I did. A while ago.” She hung her head. “I realized kinda quickly that it wasn’t going to happen, because… you were already pining for her. So I got over it.”
There was the confirmation, at least. Sunset decided to come back to it. “Oh. I see. I… actually didn’t realize that. I was that in love with Princess Twilight back then, huh?”
“That’s the way I saw it, yeah.”
Sunset pursed her lips. “But you liked me?”
“You saved me when I was at my… lowest point. And we have a lot in common.” Sci-Twi shrugged. “But it’s the same with you and her, actually. She saved you. And you have a lot in common. It’s… easy to see why you went for her.”
Sunset grinned. “You’re not jealous of her, are you?”
“Jealous? Me?” Sci-Twi blew a raspberry. “What would I have to be jealous of? Certainly not of her, even though she’s pretty much a superior version of me, which makes her much more attractive than I am. Why would I be jealous? Pssssh, no.”
Sunset chuckled. “Sorry. I must be digging up old wounds here.”
Sci-Twi waved her off. “No. It’s fine. Like I said, I got over it. Besides… I think she really liked you back.”
Sunset nodded. “Well, see, that I am sure of.”
“The rest of the girls and I thought you were pretty close to becoming official. She liked you a lot. And you liked her a lot.”
“Yeah.” Sunset firmed up. “But that’s not true anymore, is it?”
Sci-Twi shuddered. Her expression fell apart. She met Sunset’s gaze and sighed. “No. I guess not.”
“That’s the problem I’m having,” Sunset explained, her tone somber. “And I don’t know what I should do about this. Do I let it go, and leave her in shambles, or do I try to get it back, and force myself to be someone I’m not anymore?”
Sci-Twi groaned and shifted in her seat. “Yeah… that sounds like a tough one. That’s… pretty complicated.”
“Yeah.”
Sci-Twi paused to think about it. “Well, I don’t think forcing it is the right answer. Trying to be something you’re not is… it’s just not good. Lying to yourself just to make her happy won’t make it… genuine.”
She drummed the desk. “But… I don’t think entirely throwing it away is a good answer either. It did happen. And it would be good to, you know, acknowledge it.”
“Like you did, huh?”
Sci-Twi blushed. “Yes. Like I did.”
Sunset frowned. “Would Princess Twilight think to do that?”
After a palpable pause, Sci-Twi returned the frown. “Probably not. She might keep it to herself, now that everything’s happened.”
“So what do I do?”
Another pause passed. Sci-Twi’s frown deepened and her expression lost some color. She eventually looked up to meet Sunset’s gaze.
“I don’t know,” she said simply.
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Well, the obvious choice is to just go see what your past self saw in Twilight and find out if it’s for you or not. It’s not that hard. It seems like you’re otherwise getting along pretty well, so it’s not like you have any particular emotional vulnerability that should make you wary of looking for love if you’re at all inclined to do so.
Regarding Wallflower's fate, I'm torn. On one hand, she deserves to face consequences for her actions, which includes mind raping a whole heck of a lot of people beyond Sunset. On the other hand, there's a difference between consequences, and mob retribution. Sunset came out the other end better for it because she had her friends. Wallflower has nobody.
As for Sunset and Twilight, I feel sorry for them. For Sunset, she knows she loved the princess, but the person that loved her is gone. And she doesn't want to hurt her by pretending to be that person again. I really have no idea how this will work out, if at all, and that's both heartbreaking, and makes me want to keep reading. Even if there isn't a happy ending, I hope they can come to some sort of closure.
Sunset is facing quite the dilemma here. As much as we might like to romanticize love at first sight, experiences are what mold and harden that love. Without key events, Sunset is now on a different path. But perhaps that path could still lead to the same destination, even if it is harder and longer. She just has to try to talk with and understand Princess Twilight, to just do things and see if those feelings can resurface in a new way. It's not a guarantee, but it may help either way. To ease what they are both going through.
Oof, quite the dilemma for Sunset. Reminds me of a similar scenario in a book I read, where one of the protagonists had a specific memory loss of the main protagonist that he once loved, and in an attempt to rekindle that love that main protagonist decided to just start off as friends.
You know, reading this chapter really harkens me back to the other stories. The obvious one is Crystal's conversation with Starlight and Moondancer brings up what happened in Reflections (with those who read it being like Starlight, and those who didn't being like Moondancer).
But it's Celestia's conversation with Twilight that makes me think of what happened in the Crystal Ball Trilogy, like Sunset and Celestia's reconciliation, cuddle session and train ride talk in Feedback, or Celestia's meeting with Sunset's family in Divergence especially with Blue Streak' comment about how Celestia neglected to tell them about Sunset's disappearance and how Celestia was getting better.
Makes me glad I read the other stories.
Are Sunset, Sci-Twi, Pinkie, and Fluttershy ahead a grade of the others?
10729370
About that last part, no. They're all in the same grade. It's just the math courses that they got separated at. My high school did a similar thing where a top portion of the class skipped pre-algebra freshman year of high school and went straight to algebra. And they would be one math class beyond us throughout the rest of their time there.
I didn't make it into that select group because, according to my teachers, I didn't take notes in 7th grade math.
10729378
Ah I see
10729337
Is it bad I want Sunset to stand up for Walflower so she doesn't get the same treatment Sunset once got (twice if you count Anon-a-Miss)?
Would be quite a thing to stand up for the girl that wronged her and ruined her life.
10729337
Wallflower murdered someone whom just happens to still be breathing. Every kid in that school knows that she could have done that to them at any time.
They are going easy.
10729450
The thing about Wallflower; how does anyone even know what she did? Short of the Great and Powerful Trixi broadcasting her exploit. But then again, Trixie isn't exactly universally liked, she's a bragger and frequently prevaricates. People aren't likely to believe any fanciful tales coming from her mouth. Rainbooms aren't likely to talk about what happened. Short of Dash being a bragger and Rarity being a gossip. The point is that Wallflower would be seen as a curiosity. It'd be like there's suddenly a new kid in school but not a new kid. Far more likely that she'd be shunned than actively harassed.
10729615
If you read chapter 4 again, your question is answered there. It's presumably explained out by the Rainbooms. After that word would spread through the student body.
If this is Sunset reset to when she first jumped through the mirror she is remarkably well behaved. Guess having friends right from the start made a huge difference.
10729771
Given how she acted in the special, and the lack of backstory beyond Celestia's few lines of exposition in the first movie, we're not really given much on how she was like when she first came out. and given how the show/movies rarely acknowledge other material like the comics, the last panel of The Fall of Sunset Shimmer can't really be taken into account. Of course, if her memories were erased up to that point, it would make more sense if she was the "snide little pupil" that she described herself as, even if she were to have a moment of disoriented shock after arriving, that would've worn off with her anger returning.
10730022
Well, I can sort of confirm that we don't take the comics into account. I had to push for RQK to not reference them in any of the portions of the fic he wrote, because I refuse to acknowledge them in anything with my name attached for the most part. We're sort of having it be a case of like... say, Sunset's body remembers how to do things, like write with pencils with her human hands without much difficulty, if any. We just chose to have it be like... certain physical and behavioral quirks remain even after the loss of the memories themselves. You can even choose to read it as "the 'Rainbow Laser' purified Sunset enough to get rid of all of the negative stuff that made her a bitch back in EqG1" if you like.
10730022
I think you may be onto something. In the special her memory was supposedly erased back to a point before high school. Her reaction suggests a point before coming through the portal. Combine the erasure with her interactions with the ponies in Equestria and the Rainbooms in the human world and her chance of trekking down the path of "queen bee" could be eliminated all together. After all why bother climbing to the top of the social ladder when you're pretty much already there.
Oof, just started and caught up. This is definitely a tough alternate route, to say the least.
Also gotta wonder they fixed the memory stone and then she kinda dropped it when Sunset didn't get her memories back. Is that still floating around loose, or did someone scoop it up for safekeeping?
10729615
Well, actually, per chapter four, the Rainbooms did indeed talk about it—we don't see the conversation itself, but it is implied to have happened. This implication is supported by what we see in later chapters. So, by now, what Wallflower Blush did to Sunset as well as the things she did before (which are much more nebulous, but her confession was caught on Sci-Twi's drone after all) is somewhat understood.
I can't tell if this is a generalized "it could be worse" statement or a nod to what's happening or will happen in the Crystal Ball-verse. Because, even though Divergence happens instead of Forgotten Friendship, the former seems like it happens later than the latter (and by extension, Retrograde).
10933228
Probably just a general observance of the infinitely many timelines in Reflections, and how there's always some world ending evil stuff happening at least somewhere at any given time in the multiverse.
Lmao I miss sassy Sunset, I knew something was missing before this
Okay I dont know if I'm too emotional but this made my heart break in different ways
I can sort of understand the people against Wallflower getting a second chance. Pretty much every misguided or megalomaniacal antagonist that got a pass by Twilight and company had all of their misdeeds undone and worked through with all parties. Wallflower can’t get that true forgiveness though - the one person she absolutely wronged is effectively dead and there’s no undoing that.
Of magic eaters and mimics, chaos gods and time travelling cultists, siren bands and demon teens - out of all of the foes, it was Wallflower that truly won.