Climax
Twilight had done the math. And Twilight’s math was impeccable.
“The Cascade should have reached critical mass ten minutes ago,” Twilight grunted as they reached the forty-first floor. “It’s waiting.”
Minuette muttered something. Moondancer grunted.
“How is a rip in reality waiting?” Sunset sounded amused. “That’s crazy.”
“Crazier than you suddenly wearing that dress?” Twilight cried. “If memory serves, you broke down in tears in the trolley! You blew a hole in it to save me! Really, how did you escape the influence of this… thing?”
Sunset hesitated as they climbed to the next level. Twilight checked the obnoxiously convenient ‘You Are Here!’ map that hadn’t been here before.
“Well?” Twilight demanded.
“I hate love ballads,” Sunset muttered. “It’s my biggest turn-off.”
Twilight stopped and stared at the mare. “Seriously? That’s all it took?”
Sunset shrugged. “Either that or the narrative did it for a steamy romantic comedy bit.”
“Harmony, I hope not.” Twilight shuddered. “I couldn’t stand living in a world where the narrative is that corrupted.”
“Well, cope,” Sunset said. Sweat stained her dress. It made the fabric cling to her in all the right places. “Because we’re there now.”
They had reached the top floor of the tallest tower of Canterlot Castle. As they stepped onto the landing, an epic orchestral score swept over them.
“Oh come on!” Twilight whined. “It’s not even bothering with actual speakers anymore! That’s just lazy!”
Aside from a large number ‘42’ on the wall—and the fact that the stairs ended—the landing didn’t look very special. The only thing there was a single wooden door.
The music didn’t stop. In fact, it swelled and a strange tension filled the air. Even the light coming through the narrow window on the north side seemed to dim.
“Oh, that’s bad.” Sunset moaned. “I’ve played enough video games to know what’s about to happen.”
“What?” Twilight blinked. She’d seen video games played on the other side of the mirror. “What do video games have to do with a narrative? Do they even bother with stories in those? What does it mean?”
Sunset ignored her and glared at the door as Minuette and Moondancer joined them on the landing.
“It means… boss fight.”
The pink lightning and the roll of thunder were right on cue.
“For Celestia’s sake!” Twilight screamed, whirling to face the door—and not because of the smoldering intensity pouring off of Sunset at that moment. “Enough!”
Twilight blasted the door to splinters.
“Unauthorized access detected,” said a strangely familiar voice. “Engaging failsafe protocol.”
Twilight stomped inside, only to find herself on glass skybridge stretching between two towers at the very pinnacle of Canterlot Castle. All around them, the sky had changed from blue to pink. However, the swirling magical field pulsing up and down the skybridge made it impossible to see Canterlot itself.
Twilight focused on the far end. A massive gleaming metal door stood there—complete with an enormous glowing red heart at the center. Arcs of pink magic coruscated over plates set into the ground. A massive pad of glittering gold stood before the door itself.
“Summoning avatar,” said the voice.
“Twilight?” Sunset whispered as a ball of pink magic formed over the pad. “Get ready for a fight… and if I’m right, a really nasty one.”
Twilight nodded grimly. Minuette and Moondancer looked exhausted. Sunset’s rose had fallen out. Twilight’s wings were in tatters.
“Whatever happens,” Twilight growled, “one of us has to get through that door!”
There was a blinding flash of horrible pink light and a crescendo of trumpets. Twilight blinked away the afterimages… and her heart stopped in her chest.
Okay, fine, Twilight occasionally had fantasies about a particular figure from her younger years. However, she’d determined this was common with eighty-three percent of ponies using a statistically acceptable sample size.
It was just a little crush, that’s all. One she had no intention of pursuing.
Ever.
The music shifted into a steady, intense rhythm as the figure spoke.
“Aww.” Light purple eyes batted enormous eyelashes at Twilight. “And here I was hoping for some fun with my favorite ladybug.”
Mi Amore Cadenza stood before them, her wings outstretched. She looked resplendent, breathtaking and every inch the Princess of Love.
“Cadance,” Sunset groaned. “Why did it have to be Cadance?”
“That’s no Cadance,” Minuette whispered. “That’s a guardian… from beyond the rift!”
Lightning crashed around the pony who Twilight mentally labeled as Cadenza, who just happened to look like her old foalsitter. The one Twilight had completely gotten over—no matter what Sunset may or may not have found in the attic.
“Who else did you expect as the champion of love for all the world?” Cadenza’s voice alone summoned half-baked fantasies. “Why, when the original finds out about me, I’m sure we’ll be the best of friends. I’m positive Shining will adore me almost as much as his darling wife.!”
She’s probably right about that.
Twilight then shoved that thought into the back of her head with the rest. The walls in her mind creaked ominously.
“I’m afraid I can’t let you though.” Cadenza sighed dramatically. “But if you’d wait two minutes or so, I’d be happy to do anything for you… or to you. And I do mean... anything.”
“What happens in two minutes?” Twilight asked weakly.
“The Love Rift goes critical.”
“Then what?” Sunset demanded.
“Oh, dear Sunset,” Cadenza cooed. “Always so jealous. You know, if you’d asked, I’m sure we could have found a way to ascend… together. But that was only half the reason you were jealous, wasn’t it?”
Sunset took a step backward. “What… what do you…”
“Don’t play coy. I just got to him first. But after this, we might be able to shar—”
A beam of pink magic erupted from behind them and blasted Cadenza off her golden platform. She slammed against the heart in the center of the door and crumpled to the ground. The lighting in the skyway flickered.
“I’m really sick of this crap.”
Twilight and Sunset turned to face a very grumpy-looking Moondancer.
“Okay, that was hot,” Minuette squeaked, her face bright red. “Really hot.”
Moondancer shrugged. “Let’s shut this thing down before—”
A delighted giggle echoed down the skybridge. When they turned, Cadenza was back on her hooves, beaming at them. The music intensified. Lightning and thunder crashed and swirls of pink magic spun around the skybridge.
“Dammit. I knew the sucker punch wouldn’t work,” Sunset muttered. “Too easy.”
“I don’t suppose we can talk this out?” Twilight said, her voice totally devoid of hope.
“You’re adorable,” Cadenza purred.
Twilight noted Cadenza didn’t seem capable of saying anything. It had to be a coo or a purr or something.
“So, that’d be a no?”
Cadenza responded with a blast of heart-shaped magic—because what else could it be. Before anypony could react, the magic heart struck Minuette square in the chest. Minuette yelped and staggered backward, her eyes wide. But it didn’t seem to have any other—
“I called out sick today to ask Moondancer out on a date!” Minuette shouted. She clapped her hooves over her mouth.
“What. The. Buck.” Sunset snarled.
“That… that was a truth spell!” Twilight cried in panic.
“Nothing’s better for the heart than a little confession,” Cadenza cooed. “Should give us some fun before the rift reaches critical mass, hm?”
“Worst. Mechanic. Ever.” Sunset muttered. “Okay, fine, you prissy little lovesick filly! Let’s dance!”
Cadenza smiled and unleashed a barrage of hearts. This time, Twilight and Sunset were ready. Twilight took to the air as Sunset came in low. The spells crashed against their shields with the sound of breaking hearts.
“Awww…” Cadenza pouted. “Nopony wants to play with me?”
“At least come up with something original!” Sunset bellowed as she unleashed a wave of teal fire—wait, wasn’t her magic red?
Cadenza summoned her own shield—pink, of course. Sunset’s wave tore apart Cadenza’s spells before rattling her shield.
“Not bad, little filly,” Cadenza cooed. “But that’s nothing compared to what Shiny can do.”
Twilight growled. “Not okay!”
Twilight fired a bolt of pure magenta magic. The false alicorn tried to sidestep, but a golden beam from a very angry Minuette scorched a line across the door behind her, forcing her to bear the brunt of Twilight’s attack.
Cadenza staggered, looked up at them and grinned. “My turn!”
Four bolts of brilliant pink light erupted from her horn at the same time and streaked across the skybridge like shooting stars.
“Narrative be damned, that’s just OP!” Sunset screamed before a bolt tore through her shield, slammed into her leg and sent her skidding to a halt. Time seemed to stop as Sunset fought the compulsion of Cadenza’s confession spell.
“I’ve had a crush on Twilight since she pulled me out of the crater!” Sunset shouted. She looked ready to pummel Cadenza into dust.
Time snapped back on, only for the next spell to take Twilight in the chest and knock her out of the air. Before she even hit the ground, she shouted, “My romance novel bookmark is a picture of Sunset and me!”
Sunset gasped, her eyes going round.
“Okay, this sucks,” Twilight growled.
Moondancer tried to jump out of the way. So did Minuette. Unfortunately, they ended up jumping into one another and went down in a tumble. The spells struck.
“I’ve written eighty-three fanfics of Twilight and me!” Moondancer shouted. “Forty-two of them were rated Mature!”
Minuette tried to fight it off, but had no more success the second time. “I stood for over two hours under the mistletoe waiting for Moondancer last Hearth’s Warming!”
Cadenza’s giggles echoed off the glass walls. The magic outside shifted from a flirty pink to a sensual red.
“Okay,” Twilight said as she pushed herself to her hooves. “Why don’t we deal with the emotionally traumatic romantic revelations after we’ve saved the world… again?”
“Works for me.” Sunset dusted herself off.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about!” Moondancer said. “I haven’t said anything emotionally humiliating.”
“She said traumatic,” Minuette said.
“That’s what I said!” Moondancer shouted. “Traumatic!”
Twilight charged her horn. Sunset, Minuette and Moondancer did as well.
“Now, it gets fun!” Cadenza purred, standing proud and tall in the center of the room. “Come on, ladies. Make me feel it this time.”
“You heard her girls,” Twilight snarled. “Aim for the heart.”
Twilight caught the faint nod from each of them. She grinned, then unloaded a barrage of magenta arcane bullets directly at Cadenza. She sidestepped them easily.
Instantly, beams of pink, gold and teal magic tore through the air... and crashed directly into the glowing red heart in the door.
Almost instantly, the heart began to splinter. Pink light erupted through the cracks.
“Oh, now you’re being naughty!” Cadenza purred as she tried to leap between the beams and the heart. Twilight forced her back with an overpowered concussion blast. Cadenza squealed and her knees buckled, but Twilight kept up the pressure.
Then, Cadenza grinned and unleashed a wave of magic hearts. It rushed at them like a river of pink.
“Oh buck me,” Twilight and Sunset groaned in unison.
The wave was three feet away when Moondancer and Minuette threw themselves in front of Twilight and Sunset. Though some immeasurable effort of will, they kept their magic focused on the heart.
Twilight grabbed Sunset and dove behind the shield of her friend’s bodies.
“I’ve written two-hundred and six fanfics about Minuette and me!” Moondancer shouted. Her ears were literally smoking with embarrassment.
“I cried for three days when Moondancer stopped talking to me!”
“I always loved that Minuette tried the hardest.”
“I think the nerdy librarian look is the sexiest thing in the universe!”
Twilight groaned, thankful when their confessions quickly turned into a incoherent babble.
Minuette and Moondancer lasted another twenty seconds before Cadenza’s spells had them making out on the floor.
By then, the heart was little more than a smoking husk.
Sunset reached for their two friends, but Twilight stopped her.
“No matter the cost,” she said.
Sunset nodded and they approached Cadenza. She’d managed to crawl onto the golden mat before the door.
Twilight’s horn lit up. “Surrender. Now.”
Cadenza smiled up at her. “We could have had fun, you know.”
“We won’t ask again.”
Cadenza chuckled. “Not even tempted?”
Sunset’s horn lit up.
“Oh, fine. Time for the happy ending.”
Cadenza erupted in an explosion of pink. The force shattered the glass of the skybridge, leaving it open on all sides. Pink and red magic tore at them.
When Twilight’s vision cleared, sparkles pink hearts floated where Cadenza had been.
“Let’s finish this,” Sunset said. She stepped up to the door and pushed the access button.
“Error: Access Denied. Heat pattern not recognized,” said the voice from earlier.
“Heat pattern?” Twilight frowned at the door. “What…?”
The heart had finally faded from view. In its place, an image appeared. Two mares… embracing… on top of a golden…
“Oh you have got to be kidding!” Twilight shrieked, pounding her hooves in a delightfully cathartic tantrum.
“Hey,” Sunset said. “It could be worse.”
Twilight snarled, hissed and gnashed her teeth and continued her tantrum. It would have made even the most immature of fillies proud.
Then she grabbed Sunset in her magic, yanked her over and kissed her as hard as she could. Sunset eeped, but she didn’t fight it.
She didn’t fight it one bit.
The door hissed and unlocked.
Twilight broke the kiss, annoyed that she had to do so reluctantly. Sunset’s eyes were spinning in her head. She was even blushing. Twilight took that as a win.
Inside the room stood a small pedestal with a big red button, complete with a countdown timer.
“Ten seconds?” Sunset groaned. “Seriously, this is pathetic.”
Twilight trotted over and slapped the button.
The timer stopped at four.
All around them, speakers played triumphant music.
Sunset and Twilight shared a look.
Then every speaker exploded in a blaze of magical fire.
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Cadance? For some reason I was expecting Robocadance.
Ooooo.
Dang.
Hahaha! Maybe Moondancer and Minuette will count?
That works too.
Nice.
8703944
Hey, even Wavelengths Sunset thinks he's good looking!
Cadenza's such a b$%#%.
Pffft. They're busy! Anyway, the plot wouldn't let that happen.
Dang skippy.
8703944
Pink Mecha-Cadence would have been cool, but I don't begrudge this climax!
8720629
It's okay! I rarely think about giant mechs!
OMG I'm so glad I came up with that pun last chapter!
8992926
...quite fitting indeed.
8704197
Is that a reference to Sunset Reset? It seems oddly specific as well...