The Luncheon

Celestia was waiting in front of Twilight’s castle, thinking about how this lunch will surely be.

She was a busy mare, being the statesmare she was and a princess to boot (even if the title was getting more ceremonial by the day thanks to the ever growing bureaucracy), but she managed to squeeze time for her former student when she personally invited her for lunch, one personally made by the princess of Friendship herself. Suffice to say, she expected the lunch to be simple affair since she knew about Twilight’s past culinary attempts, so she tried to be mindful herself and only brought a small bottle of Don Pearignon she bought not that long ago during a small visit to Prance.

‘Goodness, Celestia. This is a bit too much for a lunch with a friend. Then again, I don't have that many friends… Shoot. I just passed a grocery store on my way here. Too late to buy some soda now… ‘

Truth is, she had planned to teleport herself right into the castle, but Twilight insisted in taking the scenic route by train and then walk her way towards Friendship Castle. The lavender princess assured her that it was to fully take on Ponyville’s relaxing nature and try enjoy the day. She wasn't against it, far from it, but it was quite the change of pace nevertheless. Usually Twilight was very high strung with issues like punctuality and etiquette, and seeing Twilight so relaxed around her filled Celestia’s heart with warmth.

‘I suppose I should get this started’, Celestia thought as she raised her hoof to knock on the gates, stopping inches shy of it before noticing a new brand doorbell. It was a peculiar addition to a castle, but she figured that it made the building more homey for Twilight and Spike. After her short hesitation, the solar princess pushed the button, getting the pleasant sound of a bell as a prize.

Soon enough, her beloved mulberry alicorn was there opening the gate, dressed in a cooking apron that had ‘Hug the Cook’ embroidered on it. Both smiled warmly at the sight of each other.

“Prin- Ah, sorry. Glad you could make it, Celestia! I was just finishing things on my end”, the lavender princess greeted.

“Hello Twilight. I surely made it, even with your peculiar instructions. I was afraid of getting lost for a bit,” Celestia said while giggling a bit,“ but I managed to get myself oriented after a while. It was very enjoyable to walk among my little ponies without a full entourage behind me.”

“Great, I hoped that you would have a good time walking around Ponyville! It’s great this time of the year,” Twilight said as she smiled at her former mentor,“ I just hope you're prepared for an unforgettable luncheon!”

Celestia nodded politely at Twilight. “I always enjoy our time together. At least I didn't forget to bring some drinks,” she playfully said as she showed Twilight the bottle.

“Oh, you shouldn't have! But please, come on in! Get yourself comfortable. We will be using my personal dining room next to the kitchen. No sense in using the big dining hall for just the two of us, right?” Twilight said while laughing and showing Celestia to the aforementioned room, “If you excuse, I have to check on the food. I'll be back in a bit.”

“Of course. Take your time,” Celestia replied in a placid tone.

As she sat herself on one of the surprisingly comfortable chairs, Celestia observed her surroundings and how much Twilight truly made the place her own. She was afraid that Twilight would never grow to like the place or into her royal duties, but now she just felt silly about doubting her most wonderful ex-student. Maybe she would soon be ready for more diplomatic duties.

Celestia had to make a plan to teach Twilight how to move around the political sphere, and while not wanting to turn her into a shrewd and cutthroat diplomat, Celestia wanted her to be able to defend herself from the sharks out there hunting for fresh meat. Like teaching her how to not narrate her life out loud when nervous… And about the miracles soundproofing private rooms so ponies with a trained ear like Celestia wouldn't be able to pick on her ramblings. The eldest princess was proven right sooner than she thought, as Twilight entered the kitchen and noticed that something wasn't quite right.

“Oh my stars!" cried the youngest princess, noticing the smoking oven. She quickly opened the oven's door to look upon a lump of burning coal that was supposed to be their food. "The meal is ruined!” Twilight lamented, making Celestia think that she needed to train Twilight sooner than she thought, “but what if… I were to purchase fast food and disguise it as my own cooking?” she said out loud, not knowing that Celestia was hearing it all thanks to her keen ears, including her rather cute malevolent laugh. Celestia, showing her rather mischievous side, decided to have a bit of fun and walked towards the kitchen to mess with the lavender alicorn. “Delightfully discordant, Twilight. Better use the window though, or Celestia will notice the use of a teleportation spell,” the young princess said just before Celestia entered the room.

“Princess Celestia! I was… ah…” Twilight tried to explain as her former mentor looked at her awkward positioning on the window as the was trying to get out of the castle. Celestia just raised an eyebrow at her friend. “Stretching my legs on the windowsill! I’ve read that isometric exercise before eating it’s very healthy and I just had to try!” Twilight said with a clearly tense smile on her face. Celestia just looked at the smoking oven. ‘Ah… She burned the food again. I wonder if it was soup this time…’

“Twilight… I think there is smoke coming out of your oven,” she simply said, making Twilight more nervous.

“No, no! It’s steam! Steam from the steamed bass we’re having!”, the lavender princess said, her face showing the fakest smile Celestia had ever seen.

“Ah, I see. I’m glad you are trying cuisine from other tribes and cultures. I’ve heard that bass is a rather… tasty dish, if cooked right. I’ll leave you to it, Twilight,” the solar princess said as she left Twilight alone. ‘Sometimes I just worry about her. She should just say that the food was overcooked and that would be it… but I can’t help but laugh at how ridiculous her explanation was. Steamed bass…’ Celestia thought as she chuckled to herself before sitting on her chair again.

Twilight returned soon enough, levitating a tray filled with several hay burgers with hay fries on the side.

“All done! I hope you are ready for mouth-watering hayburgers! It’s a favourite pleasure of mine,” Twilight said while serving the food.

“I thought we were having steamed bass, Twilight,” Celestia asked, making Twilight flinch a bit and putting on a forced smile.

“Oh no no! I didn’t say steamed bass, I said steamed grass! That’s what I call hayburgers,” she lamely explained, making Celestia laugh on the inside while wearing a serene mask on her face. ‘Steamed grass!? Goodness me, I’m going to die trying not to laugh!’

“You call hay burgers steamed grass…” Celestia questioned.

“Yes! It’s ah… regional dialect,” Twilight deflected.

“Ah… what region, if I may ask?” Celestia pressed further.

“Uh… Down the river from Mount Canterhorn,” Twilight lied. ‘Oh dear, are you seriously doing this? I can’t wait to tell Luna about this!’

“You know, I didn’t think Ponyville had such an idiom. Maybe I’m more behind the times than I thought,” Celestia said while picking up a hay burger.

“No no, it’s a Fillydelphia expression. Since I have the cutie map I’ve been traveling around more than I thought,” Twilight explained while pushing out a forced laugh as she picked a burger too and served the drinks.

They both ate in a slow pace, enjoying the food more than any of them would admit. They fell into a comfortable conversation about their day and the last harmless gossip like the friends who didn’t had much time to be with each other that they were. Celestia wasn’t done yet though, and she thought that there was a bit more of she could do to make her old student squirm… all in good fun of course.

“You know, Twilight? I can’t help but think that I’ve ate hayburgers that had quite the similar taste, but I can’t remember where… How curious,” Celestia said with a small smile, smirking mentally to herself as Twilight put again a nervous smile on her face.

“There are so much one pony can do with hay burgers, Celestia. Probably many recipes are very similar to each other,” she explained to her former mentor. Celestia raised her eyebrow and a small smirk showed on her face.

“Recipes for steamed grass, I assume,” she stated.

“Yes!”

“And you call them steamed grass despite the fact that they are obviously grilled,” Celestia said as she showed Twilight the half-eaten insides of her hay burger. Twilight had some hairs pop out of her mane as she started to sweat. ‘Oh dear, I didn’t want to make her so tense. I should apologize to her after lunch’

“Y-you know th-... One thing I sh-...” Twilight tried to enunciate, clearly nervous and losing her train of thought. Suddenly, she looked as normal as she could to Celestia and managed to pull a small smile, “Excuse me for one second,” Twilight said before getting up and going into the kitchen… which was clearly on fire.

“Oh, of course,” Celestia said while finishing her hay burger, and slightly worried. ‘The fire isn’t serious thanks to the crystal of the castle itself, but I can’t help but wonder how Twilight managed to set fire to clearly fireproof kitchenware and furniture’ Celestia pondered, just before Twilight came out of the kitchen, stretching a bit.

“Ah, well, that was wonderful. Good time was had by all. I’m absolutely exhausted after lunch,” Twilight said while looking at the clock. Celestia looked as well and was surprised to see that it was later than she thought. It truly was a wonderful lunch!

“I agree. It was very enjoyable to spend some time with- BY THE SUN, WHAT IS HAPPENING IN THE KITCHEN!?” Celestia exclaimed, clearly seeing the light from the flames, and trying to see if her former student would come clean with the food. Twilight flopped her ears and had more hairs pop out of her mane and tail.

“Aurora Borealis?” Twilight said in the most unconvincing way.

“A-Aurora Borealis… At this time of year? At this time of day? In this part of Equestria? Localized entirely within your kitchen?” Celestia asked, remarking each of the questions with a small step towards Twilight and raising more and more her eyebrow. Twilight’s sweat was rolling down her stressed face and strained smile.

“Yes?” Twilight boldly asserted, surprising Celestia. ‘Color me impressed. It seems that Twilight grew up and learned how to stand up for herself… even if it’s right now for such an obvious lie.’

“... May I see it?” Celestia asked as she looked at Twilight with a smile. Twilight looked behind her and then back to the solar princess.

“I think it’s better if you get going, Celestia. We managed to convince Luna to take up some of your duties for today, and it would be cruel for her to make her work more than we bargained for,” Twilight explained with surprising ease, making Celestia nod while they both went towards the gates. Twilight tense as a board and Celestia almost trembling with contained laughter.

Once outside Celestia turned herself towards Twilight and nuzzled her.

“I had a wonderful lunch today, Twilight. I hope we can do this again soon.”

“I hope so too, Celestia. I miss when we could be together more than just a few hours,” Twilight said with a sad smile on her face.

“TWILIGHT, THE CASTLE IS ON FIRE! HOW CAN YOU SET CRYSTAL ON FIRE IT’S BEYOND ME, BUT IT IS!” came the distressed screams of Starlight from somewhere inside the castle of Friendship. Twilight tensed up again and more hairs from her mane sprung out.

“Don’t be silly, Starlight! They’re the northern lights!” Twilight yelled at the castle, making Celestia chuckle.

“Well, it’s time for me to go back to Canterlot. Ah, and Twilight?”

“Yes?”

“You steam a good grass,” Celestia playfully said before blinking herself to Canterlot.

“EVEN THE TOILET IS ON FIRE! THE WATER INSIDE TOO! IT’S NOT EVEN MAGICAL FIRE, WHAT GIVES!?” Starlight cried while the sound of flames came from the castle.

Twilight just stood there, a manic smile on her face as she decided to contemplate her life, the universe and everything else with the calming sound of crackling flames in the background.

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Comments ( 15 )

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Vertex

Vertex #1 · Jan 22nd, 2018 · 8 · ·

Twi-i-light with her crazy explanations,
The sunbutt princess' gonna need her medication!
When she hears Twi's lame exaggerations,
There'll be trouble in town tonight!

TWIII-LIIIIGHT!!

Axel Azabash

Axel Azabash #2 · Jan 22nd, 2018 · 7 · ·

Oh boy... THIS is... something...

Suddenly I have a carving for steamed hams...

Khenlos

Khenlos #3 · Jan 22nd, 2018 · 1 · ·

8685452 Assume this is a FEATURED tag on your comment.
8685559 Don't you mean hamburgers?

Shadowmane PX-41

Shadowmane PX-41 #4 · Jan 22nd, 2018 · 2 · ·

THIS MEME IS DEAD.

But... what the hay? The dead are so much more entertaining than the living.

MLPFiMFTW

MLPFiMFTW #5 · Jan 22nd, 2018 · 2 · ·

Steamed hams except it’s 2012 and everything is ponified again.

twidash1993

twidash1993 #6 · Jan 22nd, 2018 · 3 · ·

Good Lord! What is happening in there? .... Aurora Borealis

twidash1993

twidash1993 #7 · Jan 22nd, 2018 · 2 · ·

8685947
Aurora Borealis

Khenlos

Khenlos #8 · Jan 23rd, 2018 · · ·

8685780 At least isn't a parody of the "WHOA" meme. That would be... quite interesting to see

Steampunked

Steampunked #9 · Jan 23rd, 2018 · 2 · ·

https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcRCPbcraHZQCFDeiEmMqKN_lcOIEEytNWtuYl6dzRI7O2U_ZCIb8g

Crow T R0bot

Crow T R0bot #10 · Feb 7th, 2018 · 5 · ·

Well, that Twilight sure is an odd fellow, isn't she?

The one thing that would have perfected the ponification of this meme is if Twilight described her plan as either "Delightfully Discordant" or "Charmingly Changelingesque" instead of "Delightfully Devilish."