• Member Since 21st Jan, 2018
  • offline last seen Oct 21st, 2020

Glacial Spectre


I write occasionally. Hope you enjoy.

Comments ( 59 )

If you're going to be making a story that sounds like it takes place at college, make sure you look at the details. No college has detentions, they'll just tell you to leave the classroom. You've paid to learn a certain skill in life, not ruin it for you and others in your class. And seeing her react this way is very low for a teacher who'll be paid, no matter if you fail or not.

BTW, in those first few paragraphs, where is his classmates? Is this like a tutoring thing or what?

I have lots of questions that made me stop reading it. I like the idea, but the execution could've been better.

BTW, it inspired me to actually write something similar to this. Just to ask, may I use your character in my story?

8684587
An excellent point. I didn't go to college, so I didn't know. My bad for not researching. Honestly, I set it at university to avoid sounding like underage content, like high school would have been. As for her behavior, I tried to play off my limited knowledge of her character, and perhaps some more cliche things. While it may not be of much consequence to her if he fails, the idea is that she saw an opportunity, and went for it, even if it was one that wasn't good.

I meant to imply that the classmates were there. My apologies for that not coming across. For your other questions, I'd be happy to hear them out. This is my first written work, so I'm sure there's plenty that needs to be ironed out, or some that should be incinerated altogether.

I've asked the owner, and they've given approval. Since it's similar to this, have fun with him!

-GS

Edit: I've edited the college bit out. Thanks again for your critique! Very helpful.

8685545
That's because of all the femdom is so STRONK

8685455
That's not planned on, no. We'll have to see what happens to him though! It's possible he might get fed up with his treatment.

8686236
same here. though in my case i'm just too anti-social to know all this :]

Learn how to use pargraphs.

8688880
I followed the general rule of "New section when shifting characters"

You'll need to give a bit better critique than "git gud" to get your point across.

8689172
What I mean is that when a character talks after another, or there's a change in character subject, there should be a paragraph between the first and the second character. For example, change this:

Her scowl deepened. “Indeed. At least you can still recognise numbers. Still, you’ve been barely scraping by in my class all year long, always so….distracted.” She idly rubbed her arm with a hand, drawing his eyes to her chest again, before quickly looking back up, but her scowl was gone, replaced by a smirk. “If you think I haven’t known what you’ve been thinking about…” She moved over and locked the door, drawing a shade over the little window, and slipping out of her jacket, hanging it on the rack by the door before coming back to his side again, making sure to stand too close to the opening there to allow him to stand. “All those stares at my body while I try and teach you about math, all that uncomfortable shifting while you try and keep yourself looking as if there’s nothing wrong.” Her smirk grew. “So today in class, I thought it might be proper to give you a morepersonaleducation for this section. Perhaps give you something better to focus on?” She undid the belt to her slacks, any possible pretense to something other than carnal shattered as the young male blushed. “M-Mrs. Harshwhinny w-what the mmph!” Her hand covered his mouth as a dark glint flashed across her eyes. “You will not speak unless I ask you a question, and you will call me ‘Ma’am’ understood? If you disobey me, I’ll call your parents and tell them just how bad of a student and how utterlyunprofessionalyour thoughts have been.”

To this:

Her scowl deepened. “Indeed. At least you can still recognise numbers. Still, you’ve been barely scraping by in my class all year long, always so….distracted.” She idly rubbed her arm with a hand, drawing his eyes to her chest again, before quickly looking back up, but her scowl was gone, replaced by a smirk. “If you think I haven’t known what you’ve been thinking about…” She moved over and locked the door, drawing a shade over the little window, and slipping out of her jacket, hanging it on the rack by the door before coming back to his side again, making sure to stand too close to the opening there to allow him to stand. “All those stares at my body while I try and teach you about math, all that uncomfortable shifting while you try and keep yourself looking as if there’s nothing wrong.” Her smirk grew. “So today in class, I thought it might be proper to give you a morepersonaleducation for this section. Perhaps give you something better to focus on?”

She undid the belt to her slacks, any possible pretense to something other than carnal shattered as the young male blushed. “M-Mrs. Harshwhinny w-what the mmph!” Her hand covered his mouth as a dark glint flashed across her eyes.

“You will not speak unless I ask you a question, and you will call me ‘Ma’am’ understood? If you disobey me, I’ll call your parents and tell them just how bad of a student and how utterlyunprofessionalyour thoughts have been.”

You see when it stopped focusing on Ms. Harshwhinny, then goes to Arctic, there should be a paragraph break to keep them separate. Then when it goes back to Ms. Harshwhinny, there's another paragraph. That way there's not one gigantic, confusing paragraph where there's essentially two characters talking at once. It's a small change, but it does work effectively.

8689631
Alright. I understand the concept better now. Thanks for the tip! Granted, this is my first public work, and I'm really not familiar with proper formatting yet, so bear with me in future chapter as I still work on ironing it all out.

Thanks again for your input!

8695456
Definitely agree on that one. We'll have to see where he ends up ^^ I've got another 4-5 chapters lined up, so I'll imagine I can fit it somewhere. Stay tuned!

The next chapter should include me harshwhinning
Having sex with him in her wedding dress trying to recreate a wedding by cake play and vows. Make sure she begs for the Creampie as well. It’s just a suggestion. I want to see clothed sex with cum splattering the dress.

Comment posted by Glacial Spectre deleted Feb 16th, 2018

His gym teacher had him running extra laps and he didn’t even know why!

You know? It wouldn’t surprise me if either Cheerilee or Harshwhinny asked Spitfire to delay Frost on purpose to make him late so that they had an excuse to punish him. Either that, or Spitfire just likes seeing a well hung pegasus working up a sweat while his humongous balls swing and bounce with every stride.

8699109
Why not both? :3

Perhaps we'll see in the future ^^

Is this a Reverse gender role story

8700198
Not exactly? He's still fulfilling the correct role in the situation, unless you mean dom/sub, then yes, perhaps it's unorthodox.

8703401
I was asking cuz all the teachers are doms and calling a slut Are mostly things are done in masculine traits

8703410
Understood! Then yes, that's a fair assessment. I won't spoil it, but you've got the general idea. We'll have to see what his future looks like in the coming chapters. Maybe the roles might switch?

I knew Spitfire was in on it!

8774077
I was right to answer the phone...

8774077
Hah! It wasn't terribly well hidden was it? I hadn't originally thought of making one, but ideas keep forming. Spitfire'll have her fun soon!

Welp its been 4 months.. i understand the burnout but i am worried this will be many of countless other fanfics who will never be continued and just be here to collect dust

9026447

9045502
There will be more! Just sort of fell off the wagon on this. I don't get motivation to create too often. I have one project to finish up, then I'll start working on Chapter 4 again. Thanks for the comments! While the view count seemed good for an OC x Canon fic with such fetishes, there didn't seem to be a lot of traction with it even after three chapters. Still, I'm glad some are still waiting. I'll see how soon I can get back to this.

-GS

HE LIVES!!!! Welcome Back! Looking forward to part 2.

Great chapter as always but I really wish Arctic would be able to get some payback to the girls at least once.

Ohh god.. cannot wait for part 2! :D

Will he get to do Mrs. Cake and Mrs. Shy again soon?

I don't kniw about other guys, but if any woman ever treated me like Cheerilee did? I would be able to hurt them. Fuck the cops. I'd rather be in jail than anywhere she could get to me.

9291672
Thanks! Figured I'd throw it out there, and finish it when I can.

9293613
Uncertain! I'm thinking yes, in a sense, for one of, if not the final chapter, but there's a long way to go before everything's wrapped up, I think. Depends on what works out in the plans for this.

Whoof this chapter was kinky. Delightfully so. You just love putting the poor guy through the wringer don'cha?

9298429
I'm afraid it might be becoming a regular thing for the poor stallion. We'll have to see how part 2 is received, cause it's gonna be darker, dirtier, and the kinkiest yet.

-GS

Keep looking to see if this has updated, hopefully it's still in the works! Take care in the meantime!

9351547
the dude's got ice powers, and yet he can't lock down one mare? also, can hardly wait for an update. i'd really like to see the girls get their comeuppance.

9746344

9728536

It's still in the back of my mind, but haven't had a ton of time to work on it. I haven't forgotten though! As for that comeuppance I've had a few people mention, after Part 2 here, you'll love Chapter 5 then. Stay tuned, and thanks to all of you for your incredible patience.

-GS

Comment posted by ClosetKnight deleted Aug 12th, 2019

9746619
Awesome! Take your time, do your thing. Not much good will come of rushing.

I didn't enjoy this at all. It was horrible, I enjoy mild dominance, and love how Mrs. Cake and her partner did him, that was more special.
I prefer more loving partners not one that would...ugh what happened to him it was gross and again horrible!

9932496

Apologies! I'm merely working with the requested pieces. If milder is something you're looking for, there are plans a couple chapters from now, but for now, that's all I can say. Sorry!

9932542
It's cool was just being honest. I did skip past some of it, but did try to read it and not judge. But int he end i just skipped past it.
Not a fan of Cherry or Spit Fire anymore in this fic thou now sorry..

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