If you're going to be making a story that sounds like it takes place at college, make sure you look at the details. No college has detentions, they'll just tell you to leave the classroom. You've paid to learn a certain skill in life, not ruin it for you and others in your class. And seeing her react this way is very low for a teacher who'll be paid, no matter if you fail or not.

BTW, in those first few paragraphs, where is his classmates? Is this like a tutoring thing or what?

I have lots of questions that made me stop reading it. I like the idea, but the execution could've been better.

BTW, it inspired me to actually write something similar to this. Just to ask, may I use your character in my story?

8684587
An excellent point. I didn't go to college, so I didn't know. My bad for not researching. Honestly, I set it at university to avoid sounding like underage content, like high school would have been. As for her behavior, I tried to play off my limited knowledge of her character, and perhaps some more cliche things. While it may not be of much consequence to her if he fails, the idea is that she saw an opportunity, and went for it, even if it was one that wasn't good.

I meant to imply that the classmates were there. My apologies for that not coming across. For your other questions, I'd be happy to hear them out. This is my first written work, so I'm sure there's plenty that needs to be ironed out, or some that should be incinerated altogether.

I've asked the owner, and they've given approval. Since it's similar to this, have fun with him!

-GS

Edit: I've edited the college bit out. Thanks again for your critique! Very helpful.

8685545
That's because of all the femdom is so STRONK

8685974
It's a stale ass meme XD

8685455
That's not planned on, no. We'll have to see what happens to him though! It's possible he might get fed up with his treatment.

8686236
same here. though in my case i'm just too anti-social to know all this :]

Learn how to use pargraphs.

8688880
I followed the general rule of "New section when shifting characters"

You'll need to give a bit better critique than "git gud" to get your point across.

8689172
What I mean is that when a character talks after another, or there's a change in character subject, there should be a paragraph between the first and the second character. For example, change this:

Her scowl deepened. “Indeed. At least you can still recognise numbers. Still, you’ve been barely scraping by in my class all year long, always so….distracted.” She idly rubbed her arm with a hand, drawing his eyes to her chest again, before quickly looking back up, but her scowl was gone, replaced by a smirk. “If you think I haven’t known what you’ve been thinking about…” She moved over and locked the door, drawing a shade over the little window, and slipping out of her jacket, hanging it on the rack by the door before coming back to his side again, making sure to stand too close to the opening there to allow him to stand. “All those stares at my body while I try and teach you about math, all that uncomfortable shifting while you try and keep yourself looking as if there’s nothing wrong.” Her smirk grew. “So today in class, I thought it might be proper to give you a morepersonaleducation for this section. Perhaps give you something better to focus on?” She undid the belt to her slacks, any possible pretense to something other than carnal shattered as the young male blushed. “M-Mrs. Harshwhinny w-what the mmph!” Her hand covered his mouth as a dark glint flashed across her eyes. “You will not speak unless I ask you a question, and you will call me ‘Ma’am’ understood? If you disobey me, I’ll call your parents and tell them just how bad of a student and how utterlyunprofessionalyour thoughts have been.”

To this:

Her scowl deepened. “Indeed. At least you can still recognise numbers. Still, you’ve been barely scraping by in my class all year long, always so….distracted.” She idly rubbed her arm with a hand, drawing his eyes to her chest again, before quickly looking back up, but her scowl was gone, replaced by a smirk. “If you think I haven’t known what you’ve been thinking about…” She moved over and locked the door, drawing a shade over the little window, and slipping out of her jacket, hanging it on the rack by the door before coming back to his side again, making sure to stand too close to the opening there to allow him to stand. “All those stares at my body while I try and teach you about math, all that uncomfortable shifting while you try and keep yourself looking as if there’s nothing wrong.” Her smirk grew. “So today in class, I thought it might be proper to give you a morepersonaleducation for this section. Perhaps give you something better to focus on?”

She undid the belt to her slacks, any possible pretense to something other than carnal shattered as the young male blushed. “M-Mrs. Harshwhinny w-what the mmph!” Her hand covered his mouth as a dark glint flashed across her eyes.

“You will not speak unless I ask you a question, and you will call me ‘Ma’am’ understood? If you disobey me, I’ll call your parents and tell them just how bad of a student and how utterlyunprofessionalyour thoughts have been.”

You see when it stopped focusing on Ms. Harshwhinny, then goes to Arctic, there should be a paragraph break to keep them separate. Then when it goes back to Ms. Harshwhinny, there's another paragraph. That way there's not one gigantic, confusing paragraph where there's essentially two characters talking at once. It's a small change, but it does work effectively.

8689631
Alright. I understand the concept better now. Thanks for the tip! Granted, this is my first public work, and I'm really not familiar with proper formatting yet, so bear with me in future chapter as I still work on ironing it all out.

Thanks again for your input!

8695456
Definitely agree on that one. We'll have to see where he ends up ^^ I've got another 4-5 chapters lined up, so I'll imagine I can fit it somewhere. Stay tuned!