chapter One
An alarm clock goes off at six in the morning, silver groans waking up. "Ugh god, whoever invented high school hours I would very much love to say a few words to them.“.
He turns off the alarm clock as he gets dressed for the first day of Canterlot high, he eats breakfast and leaves for the bus where he meets his two best friends: Celestia and Luna. It's Luna's freshmen year, Silver and Celestia are both in their senior year.
Silver smiles. "Hey guys, morning."
Celestia turns to greet him. "Hey Silver, good morning to you as well." She smiles and Silver's heart skips a beat.
Man, she is so beautiful- with her rainbow hair and her perfect skin, I wish I had the guts to tell her my feelings.
"Hey Silver, how did you sleep?" Luna asks.
"I slept alright till that alarm clock woke me up."
Celestia looks over at him. "Did you hear the rumors of the vanishing students?" Both Luna and Silver stared at her with puzzled expressions. "Yeah, every year ten students vanish without a trace. All that is left is a note saying 'thank you for the subjects, see you next year.'"
Luna Shivers. Silver stares up at the bus with a hopeful grin. "Well, I hope whoever does it won't do it this year. Let's get to school, shall we?"
The buss opens its doors and the three friends enter the bus on their way to school where their new school year begins.
Though, it's also the year the mystery comes to life once more.
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Well, quite an interesting idea. Not one of the most original ones, but Celestia and Luna being students is a rather intriguing breath of fresh air. The proposed mystery also raises some intrigue.
However, the execution would need work. It is really fast-paced, most of the information given can be either conveyed better or fully omitted, and the chapter contains quite a few grammar errors (such as the lack of capitalization of proper nouns). Also, most people on this site won’t even look at a story with chapters below 1k words, so that’s also something to consider. I recommend getting a second pair of eyes to help you look the story over to polish it to perfection
10033768
yeah i will admit this is not one of my best ones