• Member Since 20th Dec, 2013
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David Silver


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T

Time Turner has a secret that he does his best to hide while keeping time and working on his mechanical wonders. He's not a bad pony. He hasn't broken any laws, at least, none formally written anywhere. His potential marefriend, Derpy "Muffins" Hooves does love to pry though...

Chapters (17)
Comments ( 211 )

Hmm. Seems we're starting en medias res. Intriguing, especially with werepony Time Turner involved. I'll be following this one with great interest.

That said, there's a typo lurking in the post office:

and I can't have one of my veteran's staring out into space."

No apostrophe needed there. It's a plural, not a possessive.

Now I wonder why Sweetie Drops/Bon Bon wants to talk about Time Turner and why she needs to be so upfront about it? Also please put me down for Time Turner for actually being the Doctor.

You have caught my interest. Count me in.

She pat Derpy on the shoulder.

patted

He pat the metal chassis

patted

fur sprout in thicker

sprouted

Breaburn

Braeburn (multiple instances)

8675461
Fixfix, welcome to the tale! You'll be happy/sad to know that this story actually has an outline, unlike most I do.

this is going to be a good journey

8675461
werepony: are we talking colloquial werepony, or etymylogical werepony?

8677084
Based on his shapeshifting abilities, both.

Intriguing tale. I'm definitely excited to see Bon Bon on the case.

Nice so far, I hope you will take your time on this one.

I look forward to seeing how Time Turner became a werepony

i want to see that stuffy of bon-bons as well

8690407
that is adorable but I was expecting a giant peppermint for some reasone

Ah. Not entirely under his control. The question is, did Derpy ever know about the good doctor's condition?

Also... possible typo? It may merit further investigation:

and bumped against it with an off.

Oof, perhaps?

Also also, on the topic of plush candies...

8690561
Fixed, but this dilemma is not as easily addressed.

So Turner has some kind of strange condition? Well that's different... I like it!

I kinda want Turner to learn how to control his shape shifting but I can see the benefits in drama if he never had full control. Having him be like the Hulk where he can change at will but at the same time outside stimulus can get him to transform unwillingly and he has to fight against it. That would be really cool.

I also hope Derpy finds the Doctor and accepts him. That would be so cool to see them together and struggle together instead of just having them reunite at the end. Who doesn't love seeing Derpy and the Doctor together! I think it might even be better then the Doctor and Rose Tyler!

As for Bon Bon, she was a monster hunter. I can see her easily becoming the Guston of this fic but I'm glad she has some extra layers to her. Of course the fact she knows the plushies name means she's been spying on Derpy for a while. She was a spy after all.

It's weird. I don't usually like "turning into something" stories but this one does it really well.

8692810
Most such stories touch on 'normal person/pony suddenly becomes thing they do not want to be'. Very very very few of them deal with, basically, born lycanthropy, especially when the person in question actually really likes both sides of themself.

Dang it Muffins she's acting relatable so you'll lower your guard!

Wow Bon-Bon is out of practice. I think she is going to feel like a fool when she finally connects a few more dots. Hopefully Time Turner will have a blast trolling Bon-Bon while Lyra realizes he is not a threat and simply enjoys the show.

Ah. Bonbon doesn't suspect Turner. Indeed, she doesn't even onow what to think about the strange, balding gorilla in their midst. Maybe Lyra will he able to get more out of Derpy with a more diplomatic approach.

As for the apple plague, I'm not sure what could be causing it. Still, a Ponyville native seeing Turner there could be enough to topple his whole ruse.

Typos infiltrated the S.M.I.L.E. meeting. Devious little buggers.

Do I need to remind?

Missing "you" after the remind.

So we wait until after it hurts, or worse, some random person, then we care?

More missing text, but I'm not sure what. "an agent"? "one of us"?

In any case, looking forward to more.

oh did derpy and the doctor break up :pinkiesad2:

8704220
That second one doesn't work. Take out the comma separated statement:

So we wait until after it hurts some random person, then we care?

You are suggesting:

So we wait until after it hurts an agent some random person, then we care?

With the commas you're suggesting

So we wait until after it hurts an agent, or worse, some random person

And... typing that, I do see what you were going for! Alright, but, see, I was going for hurt, OR WORSE to the random person, not even bringing agents into the mix. Phew, what you learn.

8704545
Oh! I see what you were going for in turn. The placement of the "or worse" before rather than after the random person was what threw me off. It wasn't clear what it was modifying.

Shrivelled apples is vampire fruit bats draining theM?

i bet its the same human remember the doctor does have his tartus

I imagine the second would be the Master. This should prove interesting.

8719010
That was my guess as well.

8718997
Not tartus, TARDIS. Time And Relative Dimension In Space.

It could be the Master, Same Doctor, another regeneration, or an entirely different human..

Well now... This got doubly interesting.

I have to ask. Is this just HIE, or is it a Dr. Who crossover? I'm just asking because I don't see a crossover tag or anything.

It might be good to either add that or leave a note in the description that it isn't Dr. Who to avoid confusion.

8719775
HiE,not from earth, also not Who

8719775
It is Doctor Whooves.

8719010
Captain Jack would be more entertaining though. :pinkiecrazy:

Huh. That's certainly an unexpected development. Now there the question of just how many transformers are in Equestria... not counting changelings, of course.

Also, typos are even more inconsiderate than signs:

...a sign that had clearly lept into her way in the height of rudeness.

Leapt.

8721183
Oops, fixed. I tried to be a little more descriptive this chapter. How'd I do?

8721387
Definitely dod a good job of balancing setting unfamiliar scenes with giving primacy to the actual plot.

exasperating - exacerbating

not in our field of operations - not in our scope of operations

:heart:

man bon-bon is really bad about being observent

This being Bon Bon, aka Sweetie Drops, the key must be cast in hard candy, perfect for discreet disposal and tasty at the same time!

Eh, she'll be ab;e to get the key back in a few days, give or take.

Children are at times so sneaky. I get the feeling that Bon-Bon needs to brush up on her skills. She is apparently slipping and boy does she need them as I get the feeling that Turner is going to enjoy trolling her.

Turner was more right than he realized. The question is what he does with that revelation, especially when its subject crashes into town.

Meanwhile, I hope Sweetie has some means of inducing vomiting and/or kicking off padlocks.

Also, the lunar moths attracted some typos:

While applejack was turning red

Capitalize the name.

We really aught thank him.

Ought to. Or oughta if you want to be colloquial.

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