• Member Since 30th Nov, 2017
  • offline last seen 28 minutes ago

RisingBluePhoenix


Huge fan of the Sunlight ship (Princess Twilight and Sunset Shimmer)!!! Fan of MLP, Dragon Ball, TFS, and Bionicle (Gen 1 )!!!

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Every ten years, the 4 schools of Canterlot City compete In the Tournament of Champions where students compete for their school's honor. The four schools are Canterlot High, Crystal Prep, Storm Academy, and Hollow Shades High. This year, CHS and CP join teams to compete against SA and HSH who as well join forces. Only forty students can participate In the Tournament and the clock is ticking.

Meanwhile, Sunset Shimmer has been getting strange dreams. Her dreams include Princess Twilight being taken away by a denom in red and black but can't seem to figure it out. Sunset and her friends decide to join the roster and not just them but inexplicably so does Princess Twilight and Starlight Glimmer.

As events play out in the Tournament, our players will find new challenges and unexpected romances. New and old faces will appear. Magic is running rampant. However, no one could predict the outcome of what was going to happen.

Chapters (12)
Comments ( 23 )

This sounds pretty good. I can't wait for more.

8672150
I notice that the comment you send is everywhere in some stories you either read or followed.

"No. I wouldn't change a thing at all. My past, horrible as it is, has made my the person and pony I am today."

This is why I love Sunset!

I'm not a big fan of the stories where Sunset finds her human counterpart, but so far I like this one. Keep it up!

Now I have yet another fanfic I need to wait on. So far so good! Can't wait for more!

Okay so you have a good premise here and remember this is not usually my genre of expertise and I am not the best at critiquing stories so take this all with a grain of salt:

Good stuff:
-Your dialogue feels fairly natural so that's a good thing.
-Not really a lot of grammatical errors, I mean there's some but it's nothing that a sweep with Grammarly or a pre-reader can't fix, the story is still comprehensible so that's good.
-The premise is interesting.
-You convey events well so they don't read like a list which is also a good thing.

Stuff that might need improving:
-Story is tagged as second person that's simply not true, it's in third person. Second person is when the reader is a character in the story.
-Minor grammar errors, a sweep with Grammarly or a pre-reader should fix this.


The following is stuff that's just my personal taste:

I personally prefer longer chapters, but that's just me. :P

Anyway, I hope this helps! Sorry it took so long to get to it! Real life and all.

8689416
Thank you for the advice! I'll keep it in mind and try to improve somewhat later. Things are going to get heated soon.

Oh damn. The Sirens go to Crystal Prep? It just got real.

"NOT THE SIRENS!" nudges Fluttershy and whispers "I don't actually know what that is"

"Oh my gosh! Just buck already!" yelled Starlight.

Best line ever! I read this while eating dinner and nearly had milk come out my nose.

very good chapter, this story I like it more and more even if instead of the SciSet there is the SunLight, but oh well you can not always have everything ... except maybe a PieNata?:twilightblush: However since you decided to rewrite it this story was the spark that made me more passionate about this story. I can not wait to read the next chapters.:pinkiehappy:

8704840
Oh don't worry... there will be Sciset... just not the type you're expecting

8704840
Princess Twilight is known as Twilight and Sci Twi is known as Sparkle in this story. Sunset is with Princess Twilight not Sci Twi.

8704845
:rainbowderp:......:rainbowhuh:......:applejackconfused:... Now you have my complete interest:ajsmug:

8704927
I know, in fact when I speak of Sunlight I refer to the pairing Sunset x Princess Twilight, instead SciSet is for the Sunset x Sci-Twi. But despite all this history has captured my interest however, as I mentioned in the previous comment, despite i am a strong fan of the Sci-Set. And I tell you that the appearance of the Dazzlings as an ally intrigued me even more (I confess that I have a weakness in Fiction where Rainbooms / Dazzlings / Shadowbolt are allies) so a nice thumb up guaranteed by me.

"Look at the size of that T.V. Dash! We can watch the Wonderbolts game in full HD! said Indigo Zap, her eyes tearing up.

"It's beautiful Indi," said Rainbow, hugging the Shadowbolt. "It's beautiful," she repeated, her eyes starting to moist up as well.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9zSHz7Thvbc


Good chapter, you're doing great. I can not wait to read the next chapters!

P.S: a little curiosity: but will there be other pairing in history besides the SunLight?

There are hints in this chapter. Look very closely. Some will happen and some are just friendshipping.

Too bad the Sunset Twilight relationship wouldn't really work. Sunset is pretty much guaranteed to lIve out her days in the human world.

8712364
It hasn't been confirmed yet so there's still hope that she will come back to Equestria some day. Maybe there will be a graduation episode and we'll see her off with a tearful goodbye

i wonder what vp luna looked like as nightmare moon

I need an editor guys... like really bad.

Uh-oh. Shit just got real.

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