• Member Since 2nd Jul, 2017
  • offline last seen Yesterday

Clopficsinthecomments


I want nothing more than to bring a smile to your face with a light-hearted clopfic! If you want to bring a smile to mine, leave a comment!

Comments ( 50 )

isnt mac married? >.>

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He's referring to the artist of the OC, honeycrisp, whose username is Big-Mac-115. He is married IRL. His OC is not married in the apoverse... and his wife is very well aware of his Shimmer fascination... nothing to worry about. :)

8668025
i see XD does this require reading spare parts for full enjoyment?

elderly gray-haired, green coated earth-mare

Now I can’t unsee it :twilightoops:

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too late, already read it :rainbowlaugh:

I'm still trying to get over the fact that you actually went out of your way to write thirteen thousand words worth of smut about my OC and waifu, just because you could. You're a friggin legend, and so is this fic.

I'm gonna have to put every bit of effort I have when I finally get around to drawing that Trixie pic for you if i ever hope to even come close to matching the glory of this.

10/10, this pleases my soul and my dong

I just checked out mac’s page. Are going to do one with Octavia as well???

Honeycrisp groaned, he’d never been stroked like this, so rapidly and desperately, the pair of orange hooves flying from the base of his cock all the way up to his tip. He was close, but he tried to hold on, squeezing his pelvic muscles to resist the urge to release into Sunset’s face.

That's what makes you cum, not stop it

“W-wow. You’re a big guy, aren’t you.” Sunset breathed

4 u

Sequel with Sunburst being targeted by Twilight and Starlight WHEN?

Her tongue wrapped around Crisp’s knobby flare, exploring the delicate underside of his ridge, lapping up the sticky juices that had accumulated there.

Isn't she on top at that point? If so, his cock should be oriented upside-down to her (or at least oriented "backwards"), which means she's actually playing with/lapping at the top edge of his flare.

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Tongues are long :rainbowwild:

I saw he as wrapping it all the way around.

I might tweak it so that's clearer...

...

To Love a Pony update when??? Seriously it's my favorite fic on this site, I wanna see it update sooooo bad T-T

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I...

ummmm...

*tugs collar*

You see...

SQUIRREL! *bolts*

:scootangel:

My god...

Good ass read. I'm sure mac enjoyed this one! ;)

10/10!
Loved every bit of this. Always look forward to your stories!

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Aww... Last time you said that the chapter was coming along. Super sad now :'(

If this wasn't a worthy fic for Mac then I don't know what is.
13k words of Sunny goodness... what is there not to like?

I was wondering if you'd incorporate db picture of his OC and Sunset, and I was not disappointed at all. Well done!

Also, question - was Sunset in an estrus-like state, or was that full estrus?
If it was the 2nd then the implications are quite amusing - even more so thinking how the little ones would look like. I mean... their color schemes match quite well.

Starlight having a platinum account though... well, she must have quite a bit of income. Then again, she bunks up with Twilight, so I shouldn't be surprised with that at all.
Their reaction to seeing Sunny and Crisp though... hah! Sunset will make the best of her allowance :rainbowlaugh:

Overall, I would rate this one Crisp in one Sunny.

This was great. I would love to see a sequel to see how the rest of he weekend plays out...

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Thanks prism!

Twilight and Starlight spend the rest of the weekend macking/flirting with sunburst as per the episode...

But maybe when they realize that sunburst is only really interested in boardgames they'll drop by Sunset's private room (which she hasn't left since she arrived, has weird thumping and groaning sounds coming out of it at all hours, and is starting to smell pretty musky) and knock on the door to beg to be allowed in.

:)

Why haven't I followed you before?? This is fabulous!

This is some amazing stuff! Im surprised that I didnt follow you already, any chance for more rimming in your stories? Preferably on males if I may ask.

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Very likely!


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Thanks! Check out my earlier stuff if you liked this!

8680670
Ah, I see why I didn't follow you earlier. I'm not really a fan of stories with humans in Equestria. Although there were a few that I enjoyed and I just forgot to follow.

Great story and the headshots were a brilliant addition. Hopefully this is the first of many such stories.

To quote Bart Simpson:

Aye Carumba!!!!:twilightoops:

I’m not usually into pony clop, preferring to stick to the human stuff, but DAMN this was hot. Thumbs up from me.

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Thanks! That's a big compliment! It is usually very hard to get someone to into non-human if that isn't usually their cup of tea!

I don’t really know how to respond to this so I’ll summarize my reaction here:
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Sweet merciful goddess that was hot! Bravo!

Holy shit this story was delicious.

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You're welcome! Is there any chance this might receive a sequel sometime?

Damn this was insanely hot. Please write more of your powerfully needy and willing Sunset :pinkiecrazy:

I can't even describe how satysfying this fic was. Also the pics are a great part part knowing that people collab so much. In addition my avatar perfectly fits the last scene.

I know I've already said it but I just reread this story and it's worth saying again.

HOLY. FUCKING. SHIT.
This story is so damn hot.

I also stand by what else I said earlier, and dearly hope a sequel is written at some point.

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Hahaha, thanks again! Nothing in the works at the moment... Mostly looking for sunny clop or...?

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Not really Sunny clop specifically, just high grade clop that pushes the right buttons like this story did.

I've got about 350 stories in my clop folder but only about a third of them have a decent story to go with, and it's the quality story that I fucking love.

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Hopefully some of my other recent stuff would work for you! Give it a shot!

Initial reaction: The art isn't great and the text makes it worse. This has no bearing on the story itself but I do feel it's worth mentioning. Your stories generally have very good artwork even without going the exploitative, clickbait mercenary angle of cropping 2000+ upvote porn from Derpibooru.

With that out of the way, let's get started.

The discarded cardboard boxes

Poor form to hard rhyme like that. I can't go too hard on you though; you did write this is Jan 2018.

It had always been a bit embarrassing for Sunset, how worked up she could get compared to her friends. She had wondered for a short time if it was just her own personality - but she had never seemed to be a particularly sexual mare in her pony form: she’d only had a couple of fumbling encounters with cute colts at Celestia’s School for Gifted Ponies, and though they’d been fun, they certainly didn’t induce any obsession over the lewd acts.

I'm arcing an eyebrow at the extent you went to to make this paragraph a single sentence, employing not only a dash but a colon. Odd...

Setting that aside... I gotta love this concept on paper. Most people want to write Sunset getting fucked by an actual horse (ew!) but you're a good enough guy to not only have her crave an actual pony dick but make her a pony as well while she does it. It's just my opinion and all that but I think Sunset Shimmer's bodaciously sexy color scheme is pissed away on those rail-thin, binge and puke, cringe af EqG models.

I'll never understand why anyone watches EqG. It's most of MLP's flaws with none of the upsides. Climbing down from my soapbox now...

But as a human… Sunset felt… insatiable. Her desires had driven her to search out a boyfriend almost immediately upon her arrival. After a rather hurried coffee, Sunset decided to waste no more time and when the poor boy leaned over for a goodnight hug on their first date, she pushed him back into his driver’s seat instead.

Skipping ahead until I get to what I came here to read. I just don't care about any of this humanized stuff.

Starlight had theorized that the desires might be a result of her transformed pony biology still building up estrus urges over time in the radically different body of a human. Without the proper Equestrian suppressants, the magical body of an Equestrian Pony or… the more ‘natural’ antidote to estrus-heats, Sunset would continue to build up biological pressure and experience these burning, lusty urges.

I don't headcanon anything like that. My take always was you feel weird for awhile going from one place to the other but slowly adapt over time to your new biology. I don't see why there needs to be a magical explanation for a biological system - seems redundant.

But I'm way overthinking things as I'm wont to do.

Sunset’s face burned a bright red as she groaned and slumped to her haunches, the awkwardly different sitting style still a bit of an uncomfortable feeling for her. “Heh…” She fumbled with her hooves before looking up at her friend through her fiery hair, “don’t suppose you’d happen to know any cute stallions up for a date?”

"Of course, comrade! I used to run my own Oblast, you know. I always made my production quotas and made the Premier very happy. Come, let us seize the means of reproduction from the bourgeoisie."

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Even as she said it, Sunset felt hopeless. She remembered just how much harder it was for mares to even get a date with colts in the gender-unbalanced world of Equestria.

Poor thing needs Roseluck's help!

"Okay, Sunset, here's the plan. We're crossing the border into Thestralslovakia..."

"I don't have a passport, Rose! I barely have any up-to-date documentation. I spent all of my time on Earth, remember?"

"Fine... fine... Change of plans then. Do you have money for a train ticket?

"Yeah, I have enough. Why? Where are you taking me?"

"We're going to Detrot to walk a buckball game — winner takes us!"

...

...

You're a completely disgusting animal, Roseluck! I'm going to ask Starlight for help... after I've had a chance to vomit."

Hey, come on! Are you worried about your stock going down? The Zebras won't tell anyone, I swear! Sunset, waaaaaait!"

Starlight blinked, taken aback. It wasn’t like she had a harem of males to choose from. Heck, like most mares she wished she had a cute stallion she could call up for herself.

Starlight, that isn't very equal. The proletariot must share the stallions. -100 social credit for you.

Starlight instantly stiffened. She knew how events tended to unfold in almost sitcom-like quality around Ponyville.

Booooo! You broke the fourth wall. Booooooooo!

Hey mind raced with anxiety through the inevitable course of coincidences that would likely lead to Sunset somehow ending up rutting Sunburst, her childhood friend.

This is one of the cheapest meta jokes I have ever seen an author use. Not cricket! :twilightangry2::twilightangry2::twilightangry2::twilightangry2:

Come on, Cloppy. You wrote Scent of a Mango in 2018. It's not like you were utterly useless or anything. Far from it.

“I have a platinum member’s account there. Just tell Honeycrisp you’re using my credit-line.” Starlight blushed, continuing, “Sorry Sunset I gotta go - good luck!” She shut the window just as the door opened behind her and Twilight entered.

Ooooh! Twilight Sparkle!

Oh, wait... you headcanon a post-alicorn Twilight Sparkle (Expectations lowered accordingly).

So it was that Sunset found herself, several hours later, wandering down this dark alley

This dark alley? Are you sure you don't mean that dark alley? You know... the one over there. I'm pointing right at it, don't you see?

Should have used 'the dark alley' instead on a count of the fact we can't see the alley, only imagine it.

So it was that Sunset found herself, several hours later, wandering down this dark alley to a shady looking storefront which was boarded up and had a beaten and broken looking door with a crooked ‘come in, we’re OPEN’ sign hanging from it.

Why is this place so beaten down? Surely, the disparity in gender distrubution and simple desire not to get knocked up would make for a robust contraception market leading to the creation of clean, sterile and well-stocked facilities that don't resemble a crack shack? Is this Las Pegasus, Equestria or Ashgabat, Turkmenistan?

Tentatively, Sunset pushed the door open, revealing a very clean, professional, and well organized interior. A small bell announced her entrance with a light and pleasant jingle.

Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! I see what you're doing! I mean the question remains of why Equestria would make mares have to resort to going to a speakeasy to get a fake penis but this sort of Clocktower Society hidden-in-plain-sight-speakeasy sort of thing is a fun concept to play with. Surreality is a great writing tool if one has the knowhow to use it. I tried it, rather unsuccessfully in Foolers Rush In.

If traffic on Fimfiction ever picked up again, I'd like to create a shorter, less complicated version of that story with no references to World of Warcraft or the Realm of Dreams.

an orange furred, fiery-red and yellow haired, freckle-faced earth-salespony stallion in a jaunty top hat jumped in front of her.

Huh. He has Sunburst colors. I guess she's getting the next best thing.

“A mare's got needs you know,
a toy's got to make the cut!

Whether it’s destined for her marehood,
or if it's going up her buuutttt!

Okay, I laughed!

I do feel compelled to point out this little song of yours is bad poetry in that it has an inconsistent number of syllables in each line. If you really want to impress me with your songwriting, you need to line up the number of bars so that each matches in addition to rhyming the the trailing vowel sounds at the end of the last word. I'm an absolute tyrant in that regard, having written alternate lyrics for my friend Firesight. It's hard work but satisying to pull off. Try it sometime! :twilightsmile:

Punching’s more of a pegasus-mare thing… and the earth-mares tend to buck.

This is a neat detail but I do have to mirror Admiral Biscuit and point out a buck is going to be super-easy to dodge due to the body mechanics involved. I'd reckon a punch would work far better for the EP since she's got more strength on average. DOn;t get me wrong, I love the effort on your part to give Earth Ponies their own special attributes that set them apart. That's a big reason I chose Roseluck as my focus when I started writing. I was originally a Trixie guy, myself but wanted to contribute to the fandom's understanding of Earth Ponies instead. I regret nothing.

Sunset’s accusatory tone slowed as she looked about the store’s walls and shelves in fascination. Everywhere she looked, every inch of floor space, every shelf, every available hook or wall-mount, even the display case of the counter-kiosk the strange store-pony attendant occupied… it was all the same.

Covered in horsedicks.

Blacks, blues, whites, reds. Large, medium, small. Mechanical ones, vibrating ones, immobile ones. There was even one made out of ice!

Obligatory:

‘Jeez Sunset! Get it together, girl!’

Italics.

“EEEEYUP!”

Got to pay the tax man somehow, eh Big Mac?

“Just sold this model to a rather famous pony out in Ponyville… she always gets the latest from the Hayseed line… maybe you’ve heard of her? Applejack?”

That's fair. She's working outdoors all the time. She probably gets cycled quite a lot and has to settle for a cooler.

the stallion stammered, trying to find a way out of this predicament

Tell.

The article’s headline said PRINCESSES BLESS LOCAL LOVE STORE - Advocate Safe ‘Relief’ Practices for All Mares and Fillies.

That's all well and good but why not have a more decent storefront? Surely there's no reason to fear ISIS burning the place down or something. Unless there is a Pony ISIS waiting to put down any females engaged in famil planning? This wasn't adaquately explained.

sex just wasn't as much of a taboo for ponies

The area surrounding the store being so run down would seem to contridict this statement.

Are you one of those rare ‘three-heats-a-year’ girls that Cosmarepolitan magazine is always claiming exists?

In AGP, I had Roseluck as going through quite frequent waves of estrus and throttled back on it once I realized I was shooting myself in the dick by giving Roseluck an overpowered ability without any sort of payoff in the form of plot development. New writer's mistake and all that...

The orange-unicorn blushed furiously

Lavender unicorn.

Are you on meds or boosters or something?”

Interesting that you bring up boosters... Is that something you took from AGP as well or are you familiar with the Gentlemanverse as a whole? That is where I got boosters from. In G4M's case, they are used by human "Gentlemen" to allow them to keep up with the demands of their pony clients who are often in heat when they call one up.

Mares are generally assumed to be horny enough they don't need any sort of boosters to get them going. Indeed, in my case, lesbianism is to mares what right-handedness is to humans in how I treat them.

“Heck, don’t even get me started on when the elements of harmony got turned into breezies.”

Yes, Sunset. Please don't get him started. That episode sucked a fat one.

Sunset cocked her head. “‘Changelings? Why would… oh… OH.” Her blush returned.

Oh shit... This isn't a changeling story, is it? *scans tags* Nope...

“S-so… h-how would you like to do this?” Honeycrisp asked, smiling.

He could have flexed on her and asked for money! :rainbowlaugh:

Hmmmmmmmm... I am in no mood to read this sex scene between "Body Like the Summer" Sunset Shim-Sham and this dweebo stallion OC so I'm going to stop here.

However, I do think this concept is pretty cute and while it could have been better executed, I enjoyed what I read. You get an upvote for your time.

10477476
Thanks! Looks like you might have some 🌹 x ⛅ plans stewing in your mind!

10478440
Oh, I have tons of clopfiction concepts. I simply end up not writing them for one reason or another - mostly I just don't think they're good enough for the big leagues.

What you saw here was a phenomenon typically endemic to the Firesight story comments section. I even literally wrote a clopfic in his comments once! Link here.

I call it the "commentverse" and it was a sort of release valve for ideas when I wasn't in the mood to commit to writing. The practice has all but ceased and I've increased my output and no longer have the time to spend on writing them.

Roseluck and Sunset wouldn't be a bad idea except I just don't write Sunset all that well. I don't watch EqG and what I did see her in, she didn't display any characteristics that stuck out to me as appealing or interesting. Roseluck hooking mares up with stallions is a funny concept for a story though! I'll keep thinking on that.

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Good on ya for not changin' your avatar in the past three years!

Oh fuck 2018 is three years ago AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

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anyway this is hot AF, I love it c:

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Thanks buddy! I appreciate that!

10715590
Has it really been so long... jesus

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You welcome <3 <3

I'd mention which of your stories is my favorite but I can't pick one!


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help

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