A Mary Sue's Rage Quit

by The Monoceros

The Final Chapter

Merry Shine is a wonderful pony with a candy pink coat, a shiny red mane, and an infinity symbol cutie mark. She has an amazing life! But why wouldn't she, after all, what other kind of life would there be for any multi-tribe pony? Yes Merry Shine can be a unicorn, an earth pony, or a pegasus, whatever she wants to be whenever she wants to be!

Twilight Sparkle loves to hang out with her, and so do the other Friendship Councilponies, but especially Twilight. Poor Twilight, she has to be an alicorn with the power of all three pony tribes all the time! Unlike Merry Shine, who can be part of whatever tribe she wants at any time! Merry would never ever wish the burden of being an alicorn on anypone. Hooray for Merry Shine! Everypony luvs her, and why wouldn't they, after all she is the most perfect, bestest BFF ever!

Well, almost everypony...

After all, there is what's his or her name? Oh well, what's his or her name? doesn't matter anyway. After all, nopony can even remember his or her gender. Or even his or her name!

But not everything is good for Merry Shine. Oh no! Right now, she is oh so very sad! But why? Why is such a wonderful and kawai pony so sad?

"Hi, Merry!" Twilight said, "Why are you so sad?"

"Oh Twilight," Merry sobbed, "My stomach hurts!"

"Oh no!" Twilight gasped, "should I take you to the emergency room?"

"Oh Twilight! You don't need to do that, I'll be fine!"

"Merry Shine! You are so stubborn!"

"I know Twilight! When I was born, the doctors discovered that I have a rare medical condition that makes me two hundred and fifty percent more stubborn than all of the ponies in Equestria combined!"

"Even Applejack?"

"Especially Applejack!"

"Oh you poor, poor thing!"

"I know!"

And so the two of them fell into each other's army foreleggy things and sobbed and cried for three months. Everypony was worried about them, but also did not want to be rude and interrupt their heavy, intense, deep emotional moment.

"CUT! OKAY, THAT'S A WARP!" the director shouted.

Twilight and Merry immediately pulled away from each other as Fluttershy, Rarity, Applejack, Rainbow Dash, and Pinkie Pie approached them.

Dusting herself off, Merry said, "That was the worst script ever."

Twilight gave Merry Shine a skeptical look and said, "...You say that after very script is finished."

"I know, it just keeps getting worse with every new script."

"Amen to that," Rarity said as she walked up to them, "I'm worried about the director."

"Why?" asked Pinkie after popping out of thin air.

"Because darling," Rarity replied without batting an eye, "I think he's been drinking just to deal with the pain of filming all these horrible chapters about a Mary Sue. No offense Merry."

"None taken," Merry replied, "I never wanted to be a Mary Sue anyway. You know what I really want, I want to be a park ranger."

There was a palpable silence as everypony processed what they had just learned.

Rainbow Dash was the pony who finally broke the silence by verbalizing what everypony was thinking, "Really?"

"Yes," Merry replied, "I want to be a park ranger."

"Huh," Applejack said, "I never saw that coming."

"Well, unfortunately as long as these scripts keep coming up and forcing me to be this Mary Sue, I'll never be able to achieve that dream, or any other," Merry sighed sadly. "I'll see you all later."

---

Everypony was having a nice picnic lunch when suddenly another script appeared.

Everypony held their breaths as Merry grabbed it with telekinesis to read it.

"No, just no," she whispered to herself in horror.

"Uh, Merry, what does it say?" Twilight asked nervously.

"See for yourself," Merry said as she shoved it into Twilight's forelegs and hissed, "Just take a look at this wretched little piece of *YAY*!"

As everypony read the abomination that was the next chapter, Merry ranted angrily.

"I can't, I won't do it! I've had enough! No more! I'm done with this! I want to end this whole Mary Sue shtick right now!" she cried out before breaking into tears.

Pinkie Pie, who had finished reading the script, walked over to Merry an gave her a hug.

"Thanks Pinkie," Merry said before returning the hug.

Pinkie gave Merry a pat on the back and said, "Not a problem! I'm always happy to help a friend!"

"Well," Twilight said after everypony finished reading the script, "I think we can all agree that we cannot go through with this script. Am I right?"

Everypony nodded.

"Great! So, what should we do to put an end to all of this Mary Sue business?"

"I know!" Pinkie said excitedly, "All we have to do is stop the author!"

"...What?" everypony asked.

"The guy who keeps forcing us to follow those stupid scripts, duh."

Pinkie smiled brightly at her friends. Who could only blink in response.

---

"So," Rainbow Dash said, "What are we going to do to this jerk?"

"What do you mean?" Fluttershy asked.

"Darling, I believe Rainbow Dash is referring to how we plan to stop this horrible author from putting us through anymore Mary Sue garbage," Rarity speculated out loud.

Rainbow Dash nodded and said, "I vote we prank him hard. And then, after he tries to run away, we punch him. A lot."

"I'm good with doing that," Applejack replied.

"Actually, I already know what I am going to do," Merry said. "Just leave it to me."

"Um... okay," Twilight responded in a surprised and somewhat confused tone.

Everypony wondered what Merry had planned for the author.

"I just need a few days to prepare myself," Merry said in a matter of fact tone.

---

Everypony was ready. At last, it was finally the time to confront the author.

There was just one slight problem.

"Where do we find this author? How are we going to find him or her?" Fluttershy asked.

Everypony stopped in surprise at the question and wondered what to do.

"Oh, that's easy!" Pinkie said as she popped out of nowhere. "Just grab on and I'll take you to where he's making those horrible scripts!"

Everypony only hesitated momentarily before grabbing onto Pinkie Pie.

"Okie dokie lokie, here we go!"

---

"Pinkie, where exactly are we?"

"Silly Twilight," Pinkie said, "This is where the author is."

Stunned, a long silence overcame everypony until Rarity broke it. "So, darlings, what exactly are we going to do?"

"Leave it all to me," Merry said in a soft, yet firm, voice that clearly refused to be argued with.

A clicking sound was heard.

"Is that?" Applejack began.

"Yup!" Pinkie said, "Just follow that sound, and you'll find the author."

"Okay then," was all Merry said before she headed in the direction of the clicking noise.

"What is she going to do?" Twilight accidentally asked herself out loud.

"No idea," Rainbow Dash replied.

Suddenly everypony heard the muffled sound of a loud, heated argument. And a beat-down.

Everypony was so shocked that they didn't even notice when the sound of the ruckus died down to nothing. Or when Merry approached them.

"Well," she announced happily, "that creep won't be bothering us, or any other pony, ever again."

---

After returning to Ponyville, Merry revealed her intent to go out into the world and find her purpose.

She was wished the best of luck.

And nopony wanted to know what Merry Shine had done to the now ex-author.

Comments

[looker2611]

Funny and random although I as a reader would like to have heard at least the argument.

[Conmac98]

That term Mary Sue is so offensive. And sexist. It’s something that should never be used.

[Mystic Sunrise]

9661966
Says who? Some random nobody on the internet?

[Scriblits Talo]

Loved this story, lots of fun, I hope the author keeps at despite their numerus wounds, but I also wish Merry Shine the best.
Thank you much for this wonderful bit of tong in cheek!

[The Monoceros]

11870436
Thank you!
I’m glad you enjoyed this story!

[Scriblits Talo]

11870460
Working on anything new?

[The Monoceros]

11870488
I am drafting a few ideas actually…
PM me so we can discuss details
😎

[The Monoceros]

11870488
Actually, I'll tell you here and now:
Basically I have a plan for an alternate telling of To Where and Back Again in which the map called the Mane 6 and others away and Chrysalis took over while they were gone fighting another villain.
No Changeling 'reformation' sorta because I despise how the show handled it.
Also Sunset returns to Equestria.
No Shadow Play, no movie, no seasons 8-10
Also I will be retconning some things
Radiant Hope from the comics will appear as an evil alicorn

Also I want to reimagine G1 villains

Another idea is to have Nyx from Past Sins go up against Nightmare Rarity, the Tantabus, and another villain

I am also considering trying my hand at tearing down Dakari-King Mykan's My Brave Pony: Starfleet Magic, similarly to Legendbringer and others.

I do have an AU idea, you know those Twilight is Luna's daughter and rebelled with her fics? I wanna try something like that by combining it with Celestia rebelled instead.

Finally, I'm considering a crossover between Equestria Girls and G1, with the Humane 7 taking on the role of Megan and her siblings. Yes, they will be going up against G1 Tirac. Maybe Princess Twilight will also be involved.

[Scriblits Talo]

11870672
Sounds great!
Look forward to seeing your foray!

[The Monoceros]

11870938
Thanks!