• Published 14th Jan 2018
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Celestia XVII - brokenimage321



Being seventeen is hard--especially if you happen to be a Princess.

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Memory: The Day I Ruined Everything

I fwhmped onto the air mattress and let out a long sigh. I pulled my party hat off and dropped it on the floor, then sat up. I shook out my mane a little, divided it into three parts with my hooves, and started weaving it into a sleep-braid.

As I worked, my gaze slowly wandered around the tiny apartment. It was dark, though the light from the firefly lantern we’d scrounged up cast its shadows on the ceiling. Pinkie and I had got the place cleaned up pretty well, actually; just a few cobwebby boxes left in the corner. We’d even managed to get both air mattresses in, though it was a bit of a tight fit. I mean, mine was practically up against the door, and Twilight’s—

I paused. Twilight sat on the edge of her air mattress, looking at the floor. She clutched her pillow to her chest, looking exhausted and miserable. She’d already taken off her glasses, but they lay haphazardly on her bags.

I watched her for a little while, but she didn’t move. I took a deep breath, looked away, and started braiding my mane again.

“That was a fun little party,” I said, to break the silence.

“...yeah,” Twilight replied, in a very small voice.

“Seems like you made some friends, at least,” I said.

“Yes,” she said, in the same tone.

I shot her a glance. She still hadn’t moved.

“Aw, c’mon,” I said, “lighten up a little. I thought you’d like this place,” I added.

Twilight sighed. “It’s… nice,” she said.

I glanced over my shoulder again, then turned to face her. “C’mon, Twi,” I said, “this is supposed to be a vacation. What’s wrong?”

She was silent a long while—but it was the hesitant, thoughtful silence she used when carefully putting her words in order.

Finally, she spoke, her voice so quiet I could barely hear her, even in the silence.

“I… could have done without the party,” she said.

“Really?” I said. “I thought your friends were nice.” I smiled a little. “Especially Pinkie. She got irritating after a bit, but she was just so enthusiastic about surprising you…”

I trailed off, then swallowed. Watching Twi’s face… this sort of talk wasn’t helping.

“That’s not it,” Twi said, quietly, shaking her head a little.

“Then what is it?” I asked.

She shook her head again. “Nevermind,” she said. “Just… today’s been... “ she swallowed. “...hard.”

“Twilight...” I said gently.

“I would like to go to bed now,” she said, a little louder than necessary “We only have a few hours before the Celebration, after all.”

“...okay,” I said. “Just…”

I reached over and dropped the shade on the lantern, plunging the room into near-darkness.

“ ‘Night,” I said, returning to my braid.

Twilight laid down, but said nothing.

For a long time, there was no sound save the crickets outside. It was a beautiful summer night, warm and cloudless. The sort that would be great for roasting marshmallows. Maybe tomorrow night we could get the gang together and do something in the Palace gardens. But then again, the Summer Sun Celebration always wipes me out, so maybe—

I paused, only two-thirds done with my braid. I hesitated, then went back to braiding.

But then, I paused again. I’d definitely heard something that time. I strained my ears, then, slowly, turned to look at the source of the sound.

Twilight, lying facedown, had her face buried in her pillow. Her shoulders shook, and a strangled little sob squeezed its way past her arms.

I stared, wide-eyed.

Oh, Celestia, you complete, absolute ass.

I leaned forward and tried to take her into a hug, but she snarled and swatted my hoof away, then pressed her face back into her pillow.

“Shut up,” she moaned. “Shut up, and leave me alone. I don’t wanna meet anypony, I don’t wanna see anypony, I don't want anyone else telling me I'm crazy—I just want to get some quiet, and some damned sleep. Is that too much to ask?”

I stood. For a long time, I just watched her, lying there, shaking under her blanket. Then, I turned and left the room.

* * *

I only had to knock twice before Pinkie opened the door.

“Heya, Cece,” she said brightly. “Good to see you again.”

I rubbed my eyes sleepily. “Hey,” I said. “It’s not too late, is it?”

“Nah,” she said. “Not goin’ to bed tonight. Got too much baking to do for the Celebration.”

“Seriously?” I said. “That must be rough.”

“I got coffee,” she said. “And the Cakes are staying up, too, so I’m good.”

I nodded. “That’s nice,”

She leaned on the bottom part of the half-door, then looked down at the ground. “So…” she said carefully, “I’m guessing this isn’t really a social visit.”

I shook my head. “No.”

“Then what can I do ya for?”

I sighed. “How are your doughnuts?”

“Best in Ponyville,” she said—then, she made a face. “But, also... the only ones in Ponyville.”

I nodded. “Point taken,” I said. “How’s your cupcakes, then?”

She brightened. “Second to none,” she said. “ ‘Cept maybe the Royal Kitchens.”

I raised an eyebrow. That was quite the impressive claim. But I wasn’t in the mood to argue.

“Do you have any strawberry ones?” I asked. “Fresh? With chocolate frosting?”

She shook her head slowly. “Not… with chocolate,” she said carefully.

“How long would it take you to make some?” I asked. “A half-dozen, say? I know you’re busy, but I’ll pay whatever extra you want.”

She looked at me oddly. “Is this a Cupcake Emergency?” she asked, enunciating the capitals.

I shook my head. “Not as such. But it is urgent.”

She looked carefully at me for a moment. “Half an hour, quick and dirty,” she said finally. “Hour and a half, if you want the nice frosting.”

“Really?” I asked.

She shrugged. “They gotta cool off before you can frost ‘em properly,” she said.

I thought for a moment. “Nice frosting,” I said, finally. “With sprinkles. And…” I swallowed. “Can you add a card?”

“Sure,” she said. “What do you want it to say?”

I swallowed several times before speaking.

“Just…” I said finally, “Just... Sorry. Sign it ‘Cease.’

She nodded. “Will do.”

* * *

EET EET EET EET

When the alarm clock went off, I jumped. I turned and looked up at the door to the apartment until the alarm clicked off. I waited, but there was no sound for several minutes. I sighed, then turned back to my reading.

By the time I’d finally gotten back to library, I had no desire to sleep. And I would have had to get up in a few hours, anyways. So, I’d found a collection of Power Ponies, pulled up a chair, and read by the light of a small lamp.

Doctor Manehattan was halfway through explaining his plan when I finally heard Twilight stir. I heard her walk across the floor and into the bathroom, shut the door behind her, and turn on the shower.

When she shut off the water fifteen minutes later, I closed the book, stood, and stretched. I found the empty spot on the shelf and put back the comic, just as I’d promised Mr. Goldleaf, then walked up the stairs. Slowly, I pushed the door to the apartment open and slipped inside.

Twilight, her mane still damp, had already let the air out of our mattresses, and had started folding our blankets. She was facing away from me, perhaps listening to the midsummer cricket-song through the open window.

I tiptoed my way over to my bag, leaning up against one wall. I fished out my bath towel, my shampoo and conditioner, and my loofah, before turning and shooting another guilty look at Twi. Beside her on the floor sat the pink Sugarcube Corner box, the lid left partway open, and pink crumbs scattered on the floor around it. On top lay my card, the envelope torn open. I looked up at Twi herself, but she was still concentrating on the blanket she was folding. I smiled a little, then crept to the bathroom.

Nothing more was said about it. That wasn’t Twilight’s way. But, as we made our way towards Town Hall, I noticed that she walked a little closer to me than she had on the way from the train station.

And, truth be told, that was good enough for me.

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