The Crossover Chronicles: Adventures in Equestria

by Cool_Quick

Chapter 12

Chapter 5

Shocking Developments

(Han Solo)

Alright, Spidey, give me the pin.

You know, the narration has been good so far, but let me say that you won’t get much better than the best pilot, and writer, in the galaxy. So, I’m taking the writing for now.

Where were we…? Ah, yes.

I drew my pistol from my belt and prepared for a fight. Behind me, the ponies gasped.

“That’s his father?!” I heard Pinkie say. Boy, what a name.

“Yes,” I whispered behind me. “Anakin Skywalker, aka, Darth Vader. Known as one of the most feared and powerful beings in the galaxy. More machine than man. But, still, he has terrible respiratory problems.”

“Oh, dear,” Fluttershy said. “I have to help that lung problem.” She began flying towards Vader.

“No, wait…” I tried to say but… too late.

“Excuse me sir,” Fluttershy said gently to Vader. “You seem to have some problems breathing. Can I help you? Just hold sti…” Her words were cut off when Vader raised his hand and made a squeezing motion with it. Fluttershy clutched at her throat, but couldn’t breathe.

“Fluttershy!” Rainbow Dash (another priceless name) exclaimed. Fluttershy’s face was turning purple, and her eyes were wide with fear.

“Don’t bother with her Lord Vader,” came a deep throaty voice from the alley. “We must keep our strength for more competent subjects.”

Out of the alleyway stepped someone you would have laughed at if you didn’t know how dangerous he was. He was 88, but could really be quite shocking.

“Palpatine,” I scoffed. “Still holding Vader’s leash?” I loved saying stuff like that.

Palpatine scowled at me as Vader released Fluttershy, who crumpled to the floor. Her friends rushed to her. I heard words like “Still alive,” and “Be okay,” so that was a relief.

“Mr. Solo,” Palpatine growled. “Still as cocky as ever. Hoping to strike it rich?” He cackled.

“Who are you?” Twilight asked angrily, glaring at Palpatine and Vader.

Palpatine gave her a serene expression. “I am Supreme Emperor Palpatine of the Galactic Empire. This is my apprentice, Darth Vader. And we will be taking over your planet. Do not resist, or we will destroy you all before you can blink.” He smiled as if he had just announced he was baking a birthday cake.

“You won’t destroy us,” Celestia said, pawing the ground. “The Elements of Harmony will destroy you.”

Palpatine cackled, clearly enjoying himself. “Your ‘Elements’ will not save you from us. I am quite safe from your pitiful little band.” He waved us away as if we were a couple of buzzing gnats.

“We will not surrender,” Celestia declared, rushing at him. Luna followed suit.

That was a bad mistake.

Palpatine raised his hands, and bolts of blue lightning shot forward. I had never seen this before, and was quite shocked. Celestia and Luna were even more shocked (see the pun? You see what I… ah never mind).

The princesses screamed and crumpled to the floor, writhing in pain. Palpatine’s cackling could be heard over their moans of pain.

“NO!” Twilight screamed, but there was nothing she could do. I looked for Luke, but found him on the ground, unconscious. I found out later that Vader had hit Luke over the head with a large rock while Luke had been distracted with the shocking of the princesses. Now, Vader stood over Luke, ready to end his life right then and there.

“Hey, Vader Man,” I yelled at him. He looked at me, and I felt pinpricks run up my back. I knew that it was probably a bad idea to goad him, but I couldn’t let him kill Luke. “Need an inhaler?”

He raised his hand, and pressure was felt on my throat. Almost instantly, the world went dark, the last thing I heard being Leia’s cries of fear, and the cackling laughter from Palpatine.

When I awoke, I was lying on the grass, with the entire group looking over me. Well, almost everyone.

“Where are the Princesses?” I asked.

“Palpatine and Vader took them,” Luke replied, rubbing his head. “I think they’re going to use their magical power to make the Death Star so powerful that it will be able to destroy the whole galaxy in one shot.”

“We tried to stop them,” Twilight added. “But we were too late.” She was almost hysterical, tears pouring from her admittedly pretty violet eyes.

“What now?” Mario asked, looking rather shocked himself. Everyone did.

Mario’s question went unanswered for a good couple of minutes as everyone shuffled from foot to foot, or hoof to hoof, or whatever. Finally Twilight spoke up. “We need to find the Elements of Harmony, and then defeat the Emperor and Vader by destroying this ‘Death Star.’ Without the Elements, chaos will rule.”

I raised my hand. “Statement.”

Everyone looked at me. “The only true way to defeat the Death Star is to shoot bullets from a plane into a certain spot. This planet has no plane except for mine, well, at least that I know of, and my plane still has no fixing crew. Plus, we need somebody to get a pilot,” I pointed to myself, and Leia rolled her eyes, “and fly to the planet Endor to disable the shield around the Death Star so we can get a plane to penetrate its surface.” I took a breath. “So, who wants to add that to their list? Me personally, because I think it’s a little more important than finding weird necklace thingies and a big funny tiara.”

Twilight gasped. “Those ‘funny looking thingies’ are vital to keep Equestria together.”

“Well, I think that even though this planet is important, we need a team to save not just this planet, but the galaxy.” That shut her up. “We can still have people finding the Elements; I just need to get to Endor. Plus, I need to contact a friend of mine named Lando Calrissian. I can get him to fly my plane to the Death Star and fire the shot to destroy it. I know he’d like that.” Then I switched to a different tone. “If I can get some certain creatures to help me fix it.”

It worked. “How can we help?” All but Rainbow Dash and Wario volunteered.

Boy, when people, or ponies, get a mind set to work, they do fabulously.

Even Wario and Rainbow Dash helped, not without a few grumbles. But whew, in less than an hour and a half, my ship was fully operational.

“Wow,” I said for the two hundredth time as the ship told me its perfect condition.

“Happy now?” Rainbow Dash grumbled as she flew beside me.

Luke suddenly came up. “Donut?” he asked as he offered me a brown paper bag filled with pastries.

“Luke,” Leia said as he took a big bite of a chocolate donut covered in sprinkles. “You do remember your problems with sweets? And where did you get that?”

“From Pinkie,” Luke said, starting to twitch a bit. His voice had heightened slightly, and continued to heighten as he ate more sugar.

“What’s happening?” Fluttershy asked. “Is he okay?”

“He’s fine,” Leia said, sighing. “He’s just going on a sugar high.”

“What’s that?” Fluttershy wondered.

Luke suddenly lurched forward, and started to sprint around the ship. Occasionally, he would jump the height of a basketball player and yell in a high pitched Michael Jackson style voice, “I’m gonna run and jump, man!” Then he’d turn around with a “Whoo!” before running around again. “I need some sugar!”

Fluttershy looked away from the crazed Luke to Leia, who was sighing. “That’s a sugar high.”

Luke suddenly appeared in front of Leia and Fluttershy and said, “I need some sugar!” He continued to run in place as he repeated his phrase.

“No sugar,” Leia said, wrenching the bag of donuts away from his hungry grasp. She looked over at me for support, right as I was taking a bite out of a glazed donut. Seeing her glaring at me, I shrugged. “What, it’s good! Plus, I don’t go crazy. Who made these anyway?”

“I DID!” Pinkie yelled over Luke’s screaming.

“THEY’RE DELICIOUS!” I yelled back.

Luke lurched toward a pile of boxes, and started running in place on them. “LOOK AT ME, MAN! I’m mime running.”

Everybody else was laughing, including even Fluttershy. Luke looked pretty ridiculous.

Suddenly, Luke ran up towards me, reaching out for my pastry, but suddenly leapt into the air as if a spring had come up from the ground underneath him. He flipped gracefully and crashed onto the ground, lying still.

“He’ll wake up in a minute completely normal,” Leia announced, rolling her eyes.

Count on Luke to make things lighter.

About a half hour later, Luke had returned to normal, and everyone was assembled outside. Just as we were all relaxing, a familiar voice said “Alright, hands up Solo.”

My hand reached for my blaster, and I instinctively fired upon the person I thought had been dead. When the smoke cleared, I knew I had been right.

“Boba Fett?”

I imagined a smile under the Mandalorian armor concealing Fett’s face. “Did you really think that Sarlacc would do me in?” His voice was just as mocking as ever.

Twilight came up. “Wait, are you under arrest?”

“He is under arrest for smuggling illegal objects, and not paying his due to Jabba the Hutt.” Boba had a tendency for interrupting me. Also, apparently talking ponies didn’t faze him.

Seeing the ponies looking at me suspiciously, I said, “Listen, yes, I was a smuggler. I did a lot of things that I’m not proud of now. That was over five years ago." I looked at Fett, who was standing there with arms crossed like a lifeguard at a pool.

“Listen, bounty hunter,” I said, an idea coming to mind. “Why don’t you help us save the galaxy?”

Boba gave his signature chuckle. “Why don’t you stop messing around Solo, or I’ll give Jabba your head; without a body.”

“Here’s the thing Fett, Jabba got killed by Leia. There’s no one to deliver your bounty to. But I’m pretty sure if you help us save the princesses, the rewards would be admirable.”

I imagined an eyebrow raise under the helmet. “Reward?”

Twilight caught on. “Oh, yes, the princesses have built up a vast amount of money. I’m sure they’d love to give you a large sum for your assistance.”

Rarity joined in, fluttering her eyelashes at where Boba’s face would be. “The rewards would be staggering,” she crooned.

Boba still seemed unconvinced. “It better be more than what I was offered before.” Sensing my question, he answered. “2 million credits dead, twice as much alive.”

My eyes widened. I looked at the ponies and mouthed, “Do they have more money than that?”

Twilight had no idea what credits were, but she did know how much the princesses had. “The princesses had lots of gold, diamonds and jewels, of which only one jewel could be worth as much as what would you described.”

Boba thought for a moment. Then, he turned to me. “Alright, Solo, you’ve got yourself a deal.” We shook hands, and that’s how, in a moment, Boba Fett and I went from bitter enemies, to decent friends. I guess you’re his friend as long as you’ve got an extensive pocketbook.