Fallout: Equestria – Hold the Pineapple (Audio Files)

by MuseoSansPony

Audio Log #002: Act Natural

\\**//CLICK\\**//

**deep breath** I gotta act calm, natural...don’t draw suspicion. If she asks, I was out with some old college friends. **door opening** Honey I’m home! **door closing**

(Veggie Calzone) **a distance away** You’re home late, I don’t have dinner ready yet, though. While you wait, my father wants to talk to you the study.

**gulp** Th-Three Cheese Calzone is hear?

(Veggie Calzone) **a distance away** Oh come now, we are family, no need to be so formal. You act as if he eats ponies, he doesn’t bite.

**hyperventilating** I should shut it off. I was just gonna test it at dinner.

(Three Cheese Calzone) Test what at dinner?

**panicked yelp** Uh...um...a new cake recipe...for um...my old namesake.

(Three Cheese Calzone) While I do enjoy Pineapple Upside-down Cake, whatever my daughter makes will be lovely. Perhaps you can try the recipe at the party next week. Now come, let's talk in private.

**30 seconds of trotting**door opening**door closing**Magic sound**

(Three Cheese Calzone) No need to scan for bugs, I’ve already seen to that.

**magic stops** Wh-what did you want to discuss?

(Three Cheese Calzone) By now you no doubt noticed we’ve been giving you small tasks as a way to geige if we can trust you or not.

Y-you don’t trust me?

(Three Cheese Calzone) As a father-in-law, yes, as long as you make my daughter happy, but as a businesspony I wanted to ensure you were the best fit for our company.

And?

(Three Cheese Calzone) Jury’s still out, but the pinks snatched two of my best delivery guys and I need somepony else to pick up a very important package. It arrives tomorrow evening.

This p-package, it is zebra chems, weapons, infiltrators?

\\**//EXTENDED SILENCE\\**//

Th-that was a j-joke. Heh.

(Three Cheese Calzone) **jubilant laughter**

**nervous laughter**

(Three Cheese Calzone) You Haywiians have such an interesting sense of humor. **clears throat threateningly** No, no, our business is with EAST Corp. My nephew speaks very highly of their terminals. He says they are better than Stable-Tec’s in a number of ways. I need you to pick up the shipment.

I can do that, y-yes.

(Three Cheese Calzone) Good, good. I like your spirit. Perhaps you could be a good fit for our company after all.

(Veggie Calzone) **a distance away** Dad, Piney, Dinner’s ready!

(Three Cheese Calzone) We’ll talk more after dinner.

\\**//SILENCE\\**//

(Three Cheese Calzone) Nice bowtie, it looks good on ya. Where’d you get it?

**gulp** Uh...it was a gift from a cousin.

(Three Cheese Calzone) Which cousin?

Oh...um...it was...Red...Velvet...Yes, Red Velvet.

(Three Cheese Calzone) Well I’ll have to ask her who her tie guy is. Hold on, it's crooked. **Magic sound**

Oh, I can ge–

\\**//CLICK\\**//

Author's Note:

the EAST Corp thing is a reference to EAST Corp Productions' various audio dramas, It is referenced without permission, so any use of the company is not canon with their universe.