This story is a sequel to A New World, A New Stage
This was written with tdnpony's permission.
Alice Maximilion is a scientist by day and the Phantom Thief Fox by night. However, after Arceus transferred all of the Pokemon as well as some of the humans over to Equestria, she lost her day job. Since then, she's been busy putting corrupt ponies in their places as well as trying to meet up with her childhood friend, Johnathan. However, with more down time than she's used to, she may be forced to confront some feelings she never really knew she had.
Johnathan Trace is a police officer dedicated to catching the Phantom Thief Fox. Even after being thrown into a different world, he is still pursuing that goal. Chasing down a thief who has over 500 years of knowledge is not an easy task, but he's the only one who's gotten close. However, they say opposites attract, and some of the actions by Fox have left him confused to say the least. At least he finally found out his best friend Alice was sent to Equestria as well.
With both of them taking a necessary break after a busy month, Alice begins to confront her feelings, but will her double life as both his best friend and worst enemy get in the way of what she wants?
Not if the Phantom Thief Fox has anything to say about it.
This story is a non-canon spinoff to tdnpony's A New World, A New Stage, which itself is a spinoff to zeusdemigod131's A New World, A New Way. You will definitely want to read the former if you want to have any idea what's happening, while the latter includes some key worldbuilding. The whole A New World universe is filled with fabulous stories that you should check out. If you like Pokemon, like crossovers, or just like some of the best writers on the site, then you should check it out.
Written as several chapters because that's how I roll. I probably will publish chapters every day until I publish them all. Once I do, this story will likely never be touched again, unless I get enough popularity to continue.
Hmm, I like where this one is going, I think I'll keep an eye on it. Here's hoping this one actually gets completed for a change!
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It’s already done. I just didn’t want to post it all at once.
There will be another chapter tomorrow.
A spin-off of A New Stage huh? I'll read. That's probably one of my favorites of the side-stories.
It's a shame so many of them have been left unfinished.
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I know. I’m sort of hoping this will be the kick in the pants that they all need.
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Oh sweet! Awsome!
Yeah, I at least thought Cresselia would stick around a little longer than that.
That probably would work actually. Equestria pretty much slaps you on the wrist for anything as long as you got connections.
Pretty unfair if you ask me, but hey.
Even though this is a finished one off story that in the authors words will never be touched again, I just wanna say some things about how this was written. The basic plot isn’t the problem, that’s not the issue, my problem is how we get from beginning to end as well as some nitpicks about character portrayal.
First off, Cresselia appearing out of nowhere just by mentioning her name feels random and kinda forced. Not to mention that she only serves to make Johnathan believe Fox is in love with him, which does not translate to making him believe that Alice is fox. Basically, you could remove her from the story and not much else changes. But if you really needed her then the Fox gang could just walk to the hall of legends and talk to her there. But I assume that it would have been more writing than you were comfortable with.
That aside let’s talk about about how Alice confesses to John. She kidnaps him, ties him up, just so she could explain why she is Alice.
Cause kidnapping is a great way to make someone listen to you.
The fact that she also threatened to cover his mouth with web when he didn’t answer her question is also kinda sus.
Johnathan calling Alice a “no good crook” is taking it a little too far. Fox may be a criminal, but John acknowledges that she does much good in exposing criminals. Also the word crook kinda unsells fox when she is a high profile tricky theif. Calling her a crook feels like, something Captain Ironside say.
Next, when discussing what to do after John learns fox’s identity, when he suggests she stop being Fox, her reaction is a bit much. She would obviously say no, but not get mad about it. Also I can’t see John throwing away his career in order to join Fox and help her with her heists, is he really the type to just throw away his career and beliefs just to be with the one he loves? Is he really that thirsty?
Moving on, let’s get the resolution of this story. Celestia and Luna letting fox go and paying her to continue her heist is.....possible in some sense, although something I wouldn’t do. But this kinda contradicts a suggestion in the last chapter were it was pointed out that if they just continued doing what they did, someone would notice if John wasn’t trying as hard as he did. Even though they’re now getting paid to do this, that still means that John ca never catch Alice or really look like he is trying.
Anyway that’s all I have to say, this comment was a little nitpicky and maybe won’t go anywhere but I want to get this off my chest as it bothered me once I was done reading this story.
If anything I hope this helps you write characters better, especially ones that are not originally yours.