• Member Since 20th Apr, 2012
  • offline last seen 38 minutes ago

Loganberry


I write stories. They tend to have ponies in. I also run the Louder Yay blog, including Ponyfic Roundup. Reviews of my fics, good or bad, always welcome.

T

A magical accident at a castle garden party leaves Fancy Pants, Rarity and Fluttershy apparently separated from their friends and stranded in the middle of... somewhere. Their initial concern gives way to cautious optimism when they find they're still in Equestria. But it's not quite the Equestria they were expecting...

Note: I write Fancy Pants' name as two words. Always have done, always will.

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 8 )

I'll be honest--it's a little hard to keep track of what's going on. The two different definitions of 'coruscation' especially confused me, particularly since Fancy Pants seemed to understand what had happened after they mentioned mirrors. Maybe this is deliberate, though. I'm definitely tracking, and I want to see where this goes!

8663280
Two different definitions? I'm referring to "sudden gleams or flashes of light" throughout, though it is true that none of the characters understand what's happening in quite the way Twilight would, so to that extent the lack of precision is deliberate.

8663340
Well, at first it's the flashes of light from teleportation and other powerful spells, then it's the flashes of light from breaking a mirror--at which Fancy Pants acts as if he suddenly understands something.

8663599
Ah, I see your point. However, that isn't a mistake. Let's just say for now that (for once!) I know what I'm doing there. :raritywink:

Certainly an interesting opening. Though I'm not sure if Rarity is cross with Fancy over just the accusation or something else; her attitude seems a bit much if the former. In any case, looking forward to more, especially since I'm not sure if I've ever seen Fancy Pants and Fluttershy interacting for an appreciable length of time.

8665343
Rarity is a little... diverted by the fate of her dress. That maybe sounds a little shallow for S7-era Rarity, but (though this isn't said explicitly) she's still just a little embarrassed for the way she behaved around FP back in "Sweet and Elite". It's probably fair to say I might have made things slightly more nuanced if this had been through the usual editing/pre-reading process. As for Fluttershy, yes, that's something I'm looking forward to as well. We'll see how it goes. Thanks for giving this a look, anyway!

Rocket #7 · Saturday · · ·

A promising beginning, although I'm another who found Rarity's behaviour a bit inexplicable.

Loganberry #8 · Sunday · · ·

8667744
See my response to FoME, really. Part of it is that when I rush things out (deliberately, in this case) there are more rough edges than usual. Whether there's anything else on Rarity's mind... that you'll have to wait and see about!

Login or register to comment