• Published 8th Jan 2018
  • 5,960 Views, 112 Comments

The Art of the Blade - Monochromatic

It's one thing to have a bodyguard as beautiful as she is deadly. It's another thing entirely to be hopelessly in love with her.

  • ...

Beautiful and Deadly - Bonus Chapter

In the late hours of the night, the majority of the castle’s inhabitants were fast asleep, save for a select few. Some of the cooks moved about in the kitchens, preparing the meals for the next day. The scholars stayed late in the library, preparing their speeches and essays to present to the king.

A bodyguard—the finest bodyguard in the land—yawned and rubbed a hoof against her eyes, standing guard outside the bedroom of Equestria’s crown princess.

In the distance, the clock tower chimed once, and so did the guard decide it was time to check on her beloved. There were early meetings to attend, and it would be ill-advised if the princess slept through half of them.

As quietly as she could, she opened the door, creeping inside and smiling at the sight of the peaceful pony bundled up in the corner bed. The princess’s soft breathing permeated the room, and when the door of the room closed, she did not seem to stir.

She was, it seemed, fast asleep.

Or so Twilight thought, until a flash of magic filled the room, every single candle in the room flickered to life, and Princess Rarity the First sat up straight.

“Twilight!” she exclaimed, clapping her hooves together. “I was waiting for you!”

One day, Twilight thought, one truly amazing day, Princess Rarity would actually stay asleep the entire night.

“Your Highness!” the bodyguard chastised. “It’s one in the morning!” A scroll appeared next to her, which she shoved her hoof at. “You have to be awake at six!”

Princess Rarity blinked. “And?”

“And?! What do you mea—” Twilight cut herself off and rubbed a hoof against her temple. “I don’t know why I bother sometimes.”

“Twilight, are you done sulking?” Rarity asked, ignoring Twilight’s protest when she got out of bed. She made her way right in front of Twilight and sat down before her. “Whenever you’re done sulking, I need you to ask me what I’m thinking about.”


“Darling!” Rarity exclaimed, leaning forward to kiss Twilight on the nose. “I’m ever so glad you asked!” She cleared her throat. “Now, do you remember the story I told you earlier?”

“Which one?” Twilight asked. “The one where you were my bodyguard, or the one where we staged a world-wide revolution so we could get married?”

“The bodyguard one, dearest! The second one isn’t a story; it’s our early planning, of course.”

“Of course,” Twilight said, knowing she’d lost a battle and sitting down before the Princess, her helmet coming off in short-order. “What about the story?”

Rarity giggled maliciously. “Weeeeeell,” she said, tracing circles with her hoof on Twilight’s chest plate, proudly emblazoned with the Royal Family Crest. “I was thinking about it all night, and I’ll have you know I realized you were wrong about the plot hole you said you found!”

“The plot hole?” Twilight asked, her brow furrowing. “Which one? I found seventeen.”

“You did not!” Rarity shrilly protested, harrumphing. “Those weren’t plot holes! Those were—” She made a gesture with her hoof. “—minor details! Subjective details! Your wrong opinions!”

Twilight arched an eyebrow, smiling at her Princess. “Right. Minor details,” she repeated, moving close. “Two kingdoms are in political turmoil, and clearly a high ranking duke feels it appropriate to try and court the princess’s bodyguard. Saddle Arabia has one of the world’s most proficient militaries, but clearly they would have easily ripped and visible straps holding their armor together. And clearly, Rainbow Dash can be trusted to keep somepony safe without monetary incentive.”

“Twilight Sparkle! I take offense on her behalf!” Rarity exclaimed, scandalized.

“I’m not saying anything untrue.”

“We-Well, no, but I still take offense on her behalf!” She harrumphed once more and turned away. “I was so excited to share it with you, but you know, Twilight, if you didn’t like it, you could just say so.”

Twilight rolled her eyes. “I did like the story,” she said, smiling when Rarity scowled her way. “I wouldn’t be so nitpicky if I hadn’t! I told you five times my favorite part was when you rescued me.”

Rarity’s pout did not fade. “You could stand to say it a sixth time…”

Twilight giggled, leaning in to nuzzle her beloved. “I really liked when you came to rescue me, even though you unrealistically appeared out of now—” A sharp clearing of somepony’s throat interrupted her. “I really liked when you came to rescue me, fabulously appearing at the right time and right place.”

The Princess’s annoyance melted, and she turned to her guard, looking terribly pleased. “Didn’t I?! It was very thrilling, if I do say so myself! I was quite the sight!” Her pleased smile turned sly, and she lifted a hoof to stroke Twilight’s cheek. “Though you didn’t have to tell me you liked it. I could tell that you did just by the way your eyes were devouring me. I’m hardly interested in fencing, but if it riles you up like that, well, I might cons—”

Anyway,” Twilight quickly said, “I thought it was an overall good story, though I wish you hadn’t used Duke Sands in it. You haven’t even met him, and you’re already calling him an assassin.”

“Well, he is! He is absolutely an assassin! Father expects me to spend an entire afternoon touring him around the city!”

An errant, nagging thought tickled the back of her mind, but the bodyguard decided to press on. “Princess, how does that even remotely make him an assassin?”

“Isn’t it obvious?” Rarity asked, flipping her mane. “He’s killing the time I could spend with you in private, finding more ways to get you hot and bothered.”

There was a moment of pause. A moment of silence as Twilight Sparkle considered the beautiful, radiant Princess before her, whom she loved as desperately as the Princess loved her. She considered her, examined her, and so she moved forward, her lips brushing against Rarity’s.

“Rarity,” she whispered at last, “do you know what would really get me hot and bothered?”

Rarity’s breathing hitched. “Yes?” she asked, closing her eyes in preparation for a kiss only for her to yelp in surprise when she was unceremoniously levitated into the air.

“For you to go to sleep!” Twilight exclaimed, getting up and dropping the whining princess on her bed. “I’m not taking notes of your meetings anymore, so either you sleep now, or I’m taking one hour away from your spa session tomorrow!”

Rarity gasped in horror. “One hour?! Have you gone mad?! You want me to have a six-hour long spa session?! What do I look like to you?! Some sort of savage?!”

“Two hours!”

“All right, all right!” Rarity screeched, scrambling under the covers. “It’s your funeral! You’ll be the one kissing my chapped lips!”

Twilight moved to the bed, properly tucking in her princess. “Well, I don’t ever go to the spa, and you still kiss me,” she pointed out.

Rarity stuck her tongue out. “Only because I’m so self-sacrificing.”

Twilight giggled, leaning down to kiss Rarity. “I’m so lucky, then,” she said when she pulled back. “I wish I knew why you’re so obsessed with the idea of being my bodyguard. This is the tenth time you've talked about it.”

Rarity blinked at her. “I thought it would be obvious.”

“It would?” Twilight asked.

“I don’t think about it because I want to be a bodyguard. I don’t need to be one to live for you,” Rarity said. “I only like it because I can’t wait to be able to officially call you my princess.”

Join our Patreon to remove these adverts!
Comments ( 79 )

HAHA the one time I don't check to see if the document got formatted correctly is the one time it gets completely wrecked.


That's been happening to me a lot

also I don't think I've ever shamelessly plugged a story within a story more than I just plugged La Princesse.

A beautifully woven story, and the epilogue adds so much to it. Thank you for a wonderful look at two timelines.

Awe, I really needed this RariTwi stuff. You've converted me from TwiDash to RariTwi, help.

You know there was once a time where I did not care for all the shipping that this fandom loves to do and yet now I find myself practically squealing with glee over things like this.
What the hell happened? :twilightsheepish::raritywink:

Thanks again for a wonderful story. Loved it.

That was a fast feature.

Majin Syeekoh
Story Approver

I like stories that you write, and this is no exception.:heart:

Rarity, darling, how can someone so good with words be so incredibly cheesy. :rainbowlaugh:

It's funny, whenever I see a RariTwi story in the feature box, I always assume it's a Monochromatic story before even looking at the author's name, and I'm almost always right.

what can I say, I don't hide how much I love my OTP

aaahg i love it !, is great and the ending makes everything so much better. :pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy:

hello friend, i'm right below you in the box! :O

you'll get another comment with thoughts on your sweet story too! (reading right now~)

That was absolutely lovely.

And done!

And I might not choose TEL.

Why not both? Or... whatever the rules for RariTwi AUs are.

Anyway, lovely story! Sassy Rarity fighting was fabulous. As always, the story was well-written and silly, fun, and sappy too! The only nitpicks I have are the guards being called 'men' instead of stallions or something that made sense for the setting. The other would be the rating itself. A thwarted attempt on Princess Twilight's life, light innuendo, and a couple other things all suggest this should have a 'T' rating.

It was nice to read something new by you though! :)

And happy 40th story!

One day our dear Mono shall write an epic on this universe, telling the story of the official engagement and their marriage, with the world spanning adventure they need to undertake for it.

And I am torn between wanting TEK to end quickly for that and wanting for it to never end. Mono is an evil enchantress like that :rainbowwild:

Longer version of La Princesse with at least 23 chapters when?

Actual record of the Discord transcript while editing this story:

Monochromatic-Yesterday at 12:39 PM

im still debating whether
going with the reveal or not that this is all Princess Rarity INTENSELY describing her fantasies on being Twi's bodyguard

Violet Amaryllis in the Closet-Yesterday at 12:40 PM

Do it as a bonus chapter.

Monochromatic-Yesterday at 12:40 PM

bonus chapter might be good

Dreamlag-Yesterday at 12:40 PM

I do like the intense description idea.

Guldane-Yesterday at 12:41 PM

Say it can be "canon" or not depending on whether or not you like it :-P

Violet Amaryllis in the Closet-Yesterday at 12:41 PM

And then Bodyguard Twilight snaps her out of it, claiming she has to meet the actual Duke Sands.

Monochromatic-Yesterday at 12:41 PM

"you havent even met him and already you;re calling him an assassin"

Violet Amaryllis in the Closet-Yesterday at 12:42 PM

"He's killing the amount of time I could spend with you by that much!"

Monochromatic-Yesterday at 12:42 PM

thats so good

Ok so finally got around to the last little addition and I have to say without even a little ounce of doubt that you somehow took an already adorable story, and made it twice as cute. Referencing the other fics, the banter, the fluffy kisses and suave princess and UGH Mono you're an artist.

I love the way you write Raritwi way to much. Im pretty sure it is unhealthy at this point.

I need to start useing discord again. Im missing out on gold.

Comment posted by B_25 deleted Jan 10th, 2018

So I now await an extended, 'author's original version of La Princesse. Until then, Bodyguard AU is more than sufficient. The inversion here was really interesting to wrap my head around... I feel like an inverted version of the princess first choosing her bodyguard would be a lot of fun. The original, whose exact name escapes me, was great with Rarity sneaking up on Twilight mid-book. I wonder how the inverse would go.

The thing is, I can fully see these two capably fulfilling either role. Rarity as the noble lady knight here plays every bit as well as Twilight in the same place. Twilight comes across as more consummate guard (create your own consummation joke) to Rarity's spoiled sweet princess, but both set ups work. So that's me saying good work on characterization here; it helped me along in the early going when I was trying to figure out AU opposite day.

Always nice to revisit this AU, so thank you, Mono! See ya next go round.

-hurk- my heart can't handle this amount of pure unadulterated fluff. Kill me mono, kill me with your pure emotions.

That was just adorable
Really good conclusion to a action packed chapter

Ah, I see. All those assassinations were Rarity, as usual, being overly dramatic. :twilightsmile:

Comment posted by Violet Rose in The Rain deleted Jan 10th, 2018

As a story approver . being staff you should NOT make comments on stories IN the comments of THAT story......

Majin Syeekoh
Story Approver

I personally don’t see how me being a story approver is relevant to expressing my enjoyment of a story. If you would care to clarify how my position on this site somehow excludes me from telling Monochromatic that she wrote a wonderful, moving work of fiction, I’d like to know so we can understand each other better.

Wow if you can't see the wrongness in your post I truly can't explain it to you. Also this story is mediocre at best.

I question your professionalism in this unpaid fanfiction moderation position,sir. You know you control the feature box after all.

Majin Syeekoh
Story Approver

You’re free to disagree with me on the story. That’s fine. Not everyone has to have the same opinion.

But I’d really like to hear why you think I did something wrong so that I can understand why you’re offended.

I appreciate your jocularity, but I believe this link might help elucidate the workings of the feature box for those who don’t understand that you’re joking.

a bit rich coming from the person who refuses to explain their stance even when prompted. don’t make arguments you can’t defend, friend.

also the story being mediocre is your opinion, and your behavior in this thread thus far doesn’t lend your opinion much credibility in that respect.

ain’t poe’s law a bitch

Story Approver


As a proud story approver—which really has no bearing on this comment of mine or Majin's as
you seem to think it does— on the site that hosts such great writers like Monochromatic, and unfortunately such poor sports like yourself, I'd also say this was a good story. Got an upvote from me. Nice work, Mono~

You have "sway" or lets say authority and people right or wrong follow authority. Its sad you can not see that.

What? Time lag. It takes a few moment's to respond.

Site Blogger

I promise you that Majin has no authority because he's a story approver.

He has authority because he's a better person than all of us.

Oh really? "poor sport" Oh please elaborate on that point.

I like the new Mono fic.

When I read it, I think to myself "yes".

When I look at the comments, I think to myself "no".

Impartiality might matter when money or politics are involved, but it’s almost completely irrelevant on a fanfiction site. Their feelings on a story make no difference during the approval process, and once a story gets approved, no one really “wins” or “loses” if they express an opinion after the fact.

Hell, even when money is involved, people still do it. Do you think YouTube employees don’t talk about their favorite videos all the time? or movie execs about their favorite films? Phil Spencer is the head of Xbox and talks about his favorite games of PS4 all the time.

Except he asked you for your reasoning in literally the same comment that you replied to him saying you didn’t need to give a reason because he should know better. Time delay is not an excuse.

can confirm, he’s pretty ok

Well buck me!! I did not know. You are right. How could I have been so wrong...

Said the person that the "story approver" posted how much they liked to story...

8659868 This literally made no sense. I’m not the author, if you haven’t noticed.

Besides, 8659859 has a point. If you want to debate the impartiality of site staff with 8659838 and 8659814, we should be considerate to the author and not have this debate in the comments of their story, so that discussion can return to being actually about this story. Take it to PM or discuss it with us on the Discord server.

I would eat your ass.

Do I get a kiss first?

Oh my god, is that a Monochromatic story?! Why didn't anyone tell me about this!

Jokes aside, I had a lot of fun with this, even knowing how much of a struggle this story was for you. Thanks for taking me along for the ride and giving me an excuse to stay up entirely too late while you were writing this (and also for humoring my suggestions).

10/10 would do again.

Login or register to comment
Join our Patreon to remove these adverts!