This is a Fanfic of the TCB story Not Alone by Starman Ghost. I hope you like it.
Chapters (1)
Proudtobe
Joined 5th Feb, 2012 ·
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Nice story! I can guess your first language isn't English, but it's still mostly grammatically correct. You switch between tenses a few times, but the story itself is good. You've practically captured the essence of a KSK sniper, and it was nice to read part of it in German. Gute Arbeit, ich freue mich auf mehr von Euch, if I remember my German correctly!
Your tense is all over the place.
Good storyline and character descriptions, but as Dalek IX stated, the grammar could use a lot of work. I'm sure there are plenty of fans of 'Not Alone' who would be happy to edit this, myself included.
Thanks for making this, I'm flattered my story inspired someone enough to write their own =)
I hope there's more where this came from...
948623
Yes, English isn't my first language. It is easy to write a story in German but translating it into English is pretty difficult. Some parts getting lost sometime during the process.
948834
Thanks for the advice.
949819
I'm still pretty new in here. Do I have to send the story to you via mail or are there other ways?
Well, thank you. Any help is welcome.
949821
Thank you.
950925
I'm already thinking about some new chapters with other parts of the UN army. Maybe even some shorts with the Royal Guards. But I don't want to get into a conflict with the main story.
950998
E-mail would probably be the easiest route. I'll send you my address by Private Message.
950998 Sag mal, bist du deutsch?
Ich nähmlich auch!
Anyway, nice story. The grammar is perhaps still a bit choppy, but the writing is nevertheless engaging. (FicCeption?)
Although I have to say that it may be a bit overkill for the soldiers to adress each other by full rank instead of name.
Ganz ehrlich, auf dem Schlachtfeld würde das ganze Hinundher mit Stabs-un-ter-of-fi-zier und Feld-we-bel doch etwas zu lange dauern. Deshalb benutzen die normalerweise auch mit Kürzeln und Codenamen.
My russian side says that you should do a chapter about the glory of the red army taking the enemy down with AKs and Vodka bottles... lots of vodka. But my normal side thinks it would be nice to see something out of the normal, since most stories are about USA and european armies, maybe you could try to write (even if it's just a little) about well.... Brazil? Japan? maybe a midle eastern army? that would be cool.
but don't worry, if it keeps going about the german sniper (and maybe the royal guard mare) I'll be more than happy to keep reading.