Celestia Kicks the Bucket

by Alot Master

Boom.

It was a quiet day. Celestia had fewer than usual requests in her court, nothing was going on in Ponyville (a rare occasion), and both Twilight and Celestia felt they had earned the right to have a day together for the first time in a while. This time, they talked about idioms. "I don't understand." Said Twilight. "How can things like that have any basis in reality? Somepony think that 'raining cats and dogs' means raining hard? It's just animal abuse!"

"Well, if rain was so large and so fast that it felt like you got hit by a small animal, what would you call it? Other than raining really hard." The princess replied. "Well certainly not ''raining cats and dogs', that's just ridiculous." Twilight argued. But just then, as they turn the corner, there is a bucket in the middle of the hallway.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Clean Sweep was a simple pony, with simple desires. All he wanted was to show off his talent and cleanliness, and he happened to be lucky enough to do that in the royal palace. Sweeping, mopping, dishwashing, dusting, anything for him to please his princesses. Everything had to be perfect. Which was why he was so surprised to realize he had forgotten the bucket he was going to use with the mop he currently had back at the broom closet, so he went back to find it. But for some reason, when he turned the corner, he saw a very unusual sight.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

"Um, Princess? You might want to watch out for that..." Twilight remarked. She saw the bucket as a bit of a tripping hazard, and cursed the carelessness of the cleaner wh left it there.

"Look out for what, Twili-" In the middle of her sentence, they hear a light metallic clang. Celestia looks down, horrified. The faintest, "Oh no." escapes her lips before she falls to the floor.

"Princess? PRINCESS!" Twilight yells. She turns over her mentor to see blank eyes and a slightly lolling mouth. She checks for breathing, heartbeat, anything. Twilight looks up, to see a stallion, clearly a janitor, looking confused.

"What just happened?" He asks.

In a solemn voice, she replies, "She kicked the bucket."

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

As Twilight furtively looked through all of the books at her disposal, she mutters, "How. How did this happen. It was a bucket. A small, tin, bucket. Spike wandered into the room.

"Hey Twilight, are you okay?" He asked. His big sister shot up, eyes bloodshot and crazed, mane flinging everywhere, like loose bits of wire.

"No Spike, no I am not okay. I just watched my mentor, Princess Celestia, die in front of me because she kicked the bucket. HOW!?" She screeched.

"Um, try this one." He says, as he hands her a copy of a book titled, 'The Not-So Immortals'. She looks at the book incredulously.

"Spike." She begins calmly."This book has been widely renowned as being the most ridiculous book to ever call itself non-fiction. HOW WILL THIS HELP!?" She screams as more of her mane springs out.

But, nevertheless, she opens up the book, and turns to the section labeled, 'Killing an immortal.' As she reads, she becomes more and more visibly unstable, until she turns to the final page of the section. "To kill an immortal, simply use common phrases. For example, make an immortal kick a bucket, or bite dust, or be cornered in a sticky alleyway to come to a, 'sticky end'. What."

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

As Discord strolls into the throne room, every one of the Bearers is ready. "Oh wow, such a warm welcome girls! Are you here to welcome me back?" Discord says cheekily. He continues walking, not noticing the small, tin bucket directly in front of his right foot. A loud, "Ting!" echoes across the room. Eyes wide open, pupils shrunk to the tiniest of dots in the middle of his eyes, Discord whispers in a terrified voice, "What have you done." as he collapses onto the ground. Luna then walks out from an adjacent hallway, ready to praise the Bearers of the Elements of Harmony for their latest accomplishment.

"Well done girls, you have done a great service to Equestria" Announces Princess Luna. "Your names shall be echoed in the halls of valor as the spirits of old revel in your accomp- *Ting*. She stops. Luna looks down in horror as she realizes what she has done. "No. Nonono. NonononononoAAAAAAAAAA-" She is cut off by her body slumping onto the ground, dead. After a moment of silence, the quiet is broken.

"Dammit, there's another one dead." Applejack says loudly.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

"I have to say Twilight Sparkle, you have done me a great many services, though unintentional." Tirek boasts."You made Celestia, Luna, and Discord all kick the bucket, and now you have given me all the rest of the remaining Alicorn power. And because of that, I must say thank you for being so kind and considerate. I will now give you an orb with the rest of your friends." Twilight looks shocked.

"What? But you said you'd let me and my friends go!" She protests.

Tirek just laughs. "Hahahhaha, you thought I'd actually keep my word? oh you naive little girl. I'm a villain, I don't keep my promises." But as he goes to keep on his reign of destruction, he hears a small noise. "*Ting!*" He freezes, realizing what just happened. "NOOOOOOOO!" He screams, before he falls to the ground, slumped and unmoving.

As Twilight and her friends fall to the ground and impact harmlessly, Rainbow mutters, "Well that was anticlimactic."

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

"So Twilight, remember when you scoffed at that book I gave you about the nature of immortals, and how it was, quote, 'widely renowned as being the most ridiculous book to ever call itself non-fiction'?" A much older, larger Spike remarked to Twilight.

"Yes Spike, I do. Ever since we defeated Discord about eleven years ago, you remind me almost every day." She replied, while doing the paperwork she had taken off of Cadence's workload from running a nation. "And after Tirek, you started harping on about it even more. I remember it quite vividly now." She said, irritated.

"Just making sure, just making sure." Spike replied. "After all, I can't have you forgetting that I gave you the info for the means to take out Discord, and Tirek. It is an important event, after all."

All he got from Twilight was a, "Grrrrr..."

Author's Note:

This is my first work, tips and editing advice would be greatly appreciated.

Comments

[Rhombicosidodecahedron]

giggles have been had
noice write

[fanreader999999]

Shallow, but tightly written.

[Macdaverin]

Whelp! That happened!;》

[VampDash]

I want more. MOAR.

[bahatumay]

And heaven forbid they lift up a small stack of flowers, lest they be pushing up daisies.
And no basements are allowed in Canterlot so she can't be six feet under.

[Alot Master]

8654960
If you can give me ideas, I will happily do them.

[Alot Master]

8655267
No basements also because of the fact most of the city is above air.

[VampDash]

8655442
Do some of the more annoying characters or even have Twilight literally bite dust and realize what has happened.

[Alot Master]

8655455
PM me? We could probably do more actual brainstorming.

[LaTorpeJefe]

I enjoyed this so much! You’re writing is very tight, hope to see more of it in the future

[Alot Master]

8656786
It's nice to know I'm not as bad at this as I think I am.