When the pegasi lose their feathers, they also lose the ability to walk on clouds. The answer to 'why' is lost to time. The real question is... what happens to Cloudsdale?
Edited by Crystal Wishes and Alex_
Accolades:
Third Place in Cynewulf's Worldbuilding Competition
Featured by The Royal Canterlot Library
Featured by Equestria Daily
Narration by TheDizzyDan!!
Narration by Zachmoviefan
Spanish Translation by Spaniard Kiwi
This story is contained in my book "Dash Tries to Win Your Heart and Other Short Pony Stories"
If you have interest in purchasing this non-profit book, check out my online store at this link: https://www.lulu.com/search?adult_audience_rating=00&q=flutterpriest
Chapters (1)
Geez dude, putting out all these great stories and whatnot. Love it.
I find this truely novel.
This is one of the few stories to make me physically distressed.
I both love and hate it.
Oh how I loved reading this. I'm a sucker for dark and sad stories, and this one certainly delivered.
Well done,!
Stuff of nightmares for any flying creature.
And grisly work for those on the ground.
This was an awesome piece Flutterpriest! Thank you for continuing to write amazing stuff.
Oh shit dude, that last line. D:
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I'm guessing you liked :)
8779378
Yes!
8779950
I'm happy to hear it. It feels good to get a good set of eyes on my more serious stuff as opposed to my memes.
Forgive me for the pun, but if I had to describe this story in one word, it would be "impactful." An excellently crafted tale of suspense, helplessness, and despair. My mind keeps trying to poke holes in the premise just to find some hope. Very well done.
9057925
Thank you, I'm really proud of this one.
This was heavy, man. I just wish there was more of it.
There more stories? Seems like this is a continually univers type story
Does it matter?
This was a nice dark piece. The final line was heavy.
Just two small errors i noticed.
"Fight" should be "flight", right?
I think the period after "well" should be a comma. And the last two words should be hyphenated without capitals. "princess-like".
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The first one is definitely an error. Thank you for the catch
The second one isn't technically a problem. A technical writing course might say that the punctuation/technicals in that line needs to be a very specific way. It's more splitting hairs than an actual error. The way it's written encourages a certain 'pace' and speed to the way it's digested by the reader. So it's intentional.
You would think the airships we have seen would be going all out. Or Discord would be helping.
Contrived, but a good contrived.
Something about this reminds me of all the dark, yet somber stories I read when I first joined the fandom. Kinda nostalgic, and gives that strong, jarring horror when there's so much happy, silly pony stories usually. It's hard to imagine it going wrong sometimes, yet it makes for a good story either way because people care about these characters.
Anyhow, neat read.
9057925
Groaaaaaaan
this makes me want more of this, it's gripping and just made me wanna read more of this
This is very well written, and it does leave quite an impression to boot...
Also F for Mr and Mrs Shy... And all else who plummeted
3 years later and this is still awesome
Beautiful fanfic. I’d say it could be expanded into a long fic. Keep up the good work!
Bleah, looks like I didn't comment or fave after I reviewed this a couple of years back. Apologies! Here's what I should have done then. Maybe the fact that I read it in the middle of a huge Covid wave here in the UK had a bearing, but my goodness it made an impression. And what a last line.
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Wow! Thank you for the review. I shudder to think what this would have been like reading during COVID. Even rereading some aspects of the RCL interview make me kinda wonder what revisiting this story post-covid would even look like.
Thank you for the review. This was a hell of a rabbit hole.
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I actually remember realising that without a functioning Cloudsdale, the whole of Equestria was probably doomed. It was one of those "okay, I need to stop for a minute here" moments.
Howdy hi!
Absolute banger horror. I adore the tension and psychological terror you’ve built into this story. Absolutely amazing short read filled with emotional turmoil. Loved this, thank you