Chapter 1
As Queen Novo told Princess Twilight Sparkle and her friends that the Pearl was not going anywhere, Twilight felt like her whole world was going to fall apart. After this entire trip, it was going to end in a failure?
As Princess Skystar told them that they could stay there, Twilight was just wondering what were they going to do now? She was the only Princess not turned to stone and Equestria was under the Storm King's rule right now so she was just supposed to return a failure?
She was the only Princess of Equestria left to stop it and they travelled through a lot, with a lot of missteps on the way?
Could she try and steal the Pearl by having her friends distract the Queen? No, not only was she risking damaging relations between their Kingdoms even if they did save Equestria but despite how much they have annoyed her on this journey, she didn't want to use her friends as pawns like that.
She was the Princess of Friendship so she could try to negotiate use of the Pearl again.
Her decision made she had then put on her most determined face and went to look to where Queen Novo was leaving. She then quickly swam to the front of Queen Novo and told her "Queen Novo as a Princess of Equestria, I wish to negotiate for use of the Pearl."
Just now Twilight's friends and Princess Skystar were just noticing them talking and the conversation caught their attention. "What is there to negotiate, I already told you that the Pearl is going nowhere so please get out of the way before I will have my guards take you out of my way."
The Guards then circled the two of them ready to drag Twilight out of the way; if she still had her feet then Twilight would have stamped her hoove. Twilight's face became even sterner and there was a red blast forming in her horn which alarmed Queen Novo and the Guard took it as a threatening gesture and moved to...
"BLAST!"
Twilight then blasted off a spell sending all the Guards backwards and hitting the reef. Queen Novo had a silent shocked face as she looked to see her top guard Stratus Skyranger unconscious on a rock.
"What in the hay has gotten into you Twilight?" Applejack asked alarmed as their friends were in similar states of shock and fear of their Alicorn friend.
"Let me repeat myself... I WISH TO NEGOTIATE FOR USE OF THE PEARL!" Twilight told Queen Novo in her face her voice becoming booming with each word until it was comparable with the Royal Canterlot Voice.
Queen Novo managed to quiver under the gaze of the younger Alicorn turned Seapony and was reminded of the last time she had met Princess Celestia and one of her guards were foolish and stupid enough to insult her still trapped sister Princess Luna by stating she should have killed the brat.
She still had nightmares of that day...
Wondering if this was a Princess of Equestria, then she could be a daughter of Princess Celestia or something. She managed to regain her voice as Twilight calmed down and stated with a sheepish smile "uh... negotiations are now open..."
"Sorry about that Queen Novo..." Twilight told her apologetically managing to calm her down but after the display, every creature was on the edge in fear of her.
Once she calmed herself down she told Queen Novo "look your majesty, I understand that you don't want to endanger your artefact but we are in a desperate situation here. The Storm King's forces invaded during the first ever Friendship Festival, I created it to bring all of Equestria together in a show of harmony but it turned into the Storm King turning all the other Princesses into stone and sent us on the run. We were told the Queen of the Hippogriffs could help..."
"Technically she only managed to say the Queen of the Hippos, we only found out what she meant later that it was actually Hippogriffs." Rarity pointed out speaking up but Twilight sent her a silent glare telling her not to interupt. She paused with a nervous glance allowing Twilight to continue.
"Plus all my friends in the past two days since we started on this trek have not been taking it seriously at all..." Twilight stated causing her friends to look at her in shock and disbelief.
"Hold on one second, we got the pirates to help us in return for getting their Mojo back. You didn't want us to trust them and it was thanks to them that we got to Mount Aris in the first place?" Rainbow Dash asked with a glare getting in Twilight's face.
"Which YOU personally ruined Rainbow Dash, during your little singing and partying with the pirates you decided you just HAD to do a Sonic Rainboom which destroyed the ship and led Tempest right to our direction! It is thanks to you that Tempest is on her way here and she just find her way here and able to take the Pearl herself!" Twilight shouted right back which alarmed Rainbow Dash.
"Wait a minute? The Storm King's forces are right back at Hippogriffia?" Queen Novo stated looking quite alarmed as everyone looked to her.
"It's what our city at the tip of Mount Aris was called before the Storm King's forces destroyed it." Princess Skystar explained as everyone turned their attention back to Twilight and Rainbow Dash.
Rainbow Dash straitened herself up, desperately wanted to retort and rebuke her argument but... it was thanks to her Rainboom that Tempest found them again. "Oh yeah, I am sorry Twi I guess I was too lost in the moment there... but we did get help for that moment right... before the Rainboom..." Rainbow Dash sheepishly replied.
"Sugarcube, aren't you being a bit too harsh on Dash? She made a mistake and we are taking this seriously. " Applejack told Twilight trying to calm her down.
"Could have fooled me, you were all so easy to trust a Con who tricked us so he could sell us to a crime boss. the Crime Boss could have told us to creatures from far off the world to be pets or food. In fact with Kugetown using Storm Bucks, it would be safe to say the place was under his domain so he could have probably given us to Tempest when she got to Kugetown!" Twilight snapped right at her and they all blanched at the reminder that Capper turned out to be as dishonest as the Flim Flam Brothers.
She then faced Queen Novo with tears in her eyes and said while putting her fins together in a pleading motion "Please Queen Novo, we are really desperate here, I was almost ready trying to contemplate having my friends distract you so I could steal the Pearl..."
Her friends gasped in shock and were more than a little bit annoyed by this.
"Girls, I think all the pressure and stress of this adventure is building up on her, remember she was already stressed out before the attack with getting everything ready for the Friendship Festival." Fluttershy pointed out while speaking up as they all shared a glance.
"Ah guess we all could have been taking this more seriously..." Applejack stated everyone turning to Twilight and pulling her into a hug, even Spike managed to accomplish this despite being a puffer fish.
"We are all super sorry if we have been annoying you Twilight, we are all worried about Equestria too. We understand if you needed to vent all this out but remember; we got this together..." Pinkie Pie told Twilight who was crying with tears as she hugged all of her friends at once.
"Isn't it a beautiful sight of friendship mom?" Princess Skystar asked her mother who sighed and whispered that she couldn't believe she was going to do this. She then opened up the protection guarding the Pearl.
The six Ponies turned Seaponies and dragon turned pufferfish noticed this and exclaimed in excitement knowing what was going to happen. "Thank you for this Queen Novo." Twilight shouted with glee as Queen Novo passed the Pearl to her fins, ready to do her jumping in a circle if she was in her normal pony form.
"Don't make me regret this Princess because if there is even a tiny crack or if the Storm King gets his grubby claws on my Pearl then I promise you that somepony will be fed to a krakken!" Queen Novo warned after passing the Pearl over.
"Queen Novo, first aid please..." groaned Stratus Skyranger as everyone would jump in shock if they could as they had all but forgotten about the downed guards.
Also LikedSimilarAuthor
- Blast · 4k words · 36 2 · 5.4k views
- cornholio4 · 1k words · 42 4 · 4.6k views
- Twilight Star · 1.8k words · 61 11 · 8.1k views
- XFangHeartX · 14k words · 11 1 · 835 views
- twilightsparkle3562 · 1.1k words · 39 30 · 2.9k views
- Sun Aura · 9.1k words · 42 0 · 2.9k views
- Twilight Star · 4.4k words · 32 11 · 2.1k views
- PonyJoel · 25k words · 34 2 · 1.2k views
Stats
Page generated in 0.096 seconds
Total duration
898 users online
1,042,411 hits today, 1,822,946 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
see this? now this is what should've happened
Not bad, I have to say. I think it could use a bit of an editing run ("Applejack" instead of "Apple jack" for example) but this was still pretty good.
8649208
Fixed that bit
Thanks
8649224
No problem. If you ever need a proofreader or something, I'm happy to offer my services.
Not bad.
Great work.
8649202 Well, except then I don't see how Twilight would've been captured by Tempest. Even if the pearl did nothing, Tempest would have a hard time capturing Twilight when she had all of her friends around to protect her.
8649388
she's a powerful pony she'd find some way to neutralize the others
8649404
Then why didn't she when she had the chance?
8649917
plot
I found the story to be a bit blunt, to be honest. Twilight says something and everyone just more or less agrees with her.
I also have to wonder how much help the hippogriffs can be if Twilight "oh right, I have magic" Sparkle can browbeat them into submission.
8650071
Well I wanted to write them as off guard and against an alicorn and plus it was the pearl they needed
8649388
Well she could have sneaked up on them and I didn't write this to fit in with the other events exactly
It's Awesome!!
Well I enjoyed this story, after all Princess Skystar was one of my favorite characters!
hey look another MLP Movie FixFix, we get it you hate the movie
8914721
On the contrary, I really enjoyed it
I saw in the cinemas twice
8914729
I find fixfics to be a cop out
a lesser skilled writer tries to fix what they didn't like (and potentially screws over the people who did like it)
a good writer works with what already happened
in my eyes retconning a story out of existence is an easy way out
writers should never take the easy way out
here watch this video, this guy makes a better point of it than i could
'
8914735
I do like fix fics myself and I do like those that take place afterwords
I am a big linkara fan myself and I do agree with him on this, I never want to go against anyone who liked it (especially since I did myself), just that some people want an alternative
THANK YOU!!! This was what I was thinking. While I wasn't happy with the way things went with Twi in the movie I understood it. There's only so much pressure you can put on someone before they crack and do something that only makes sense in their heads, in other words, stupid lol. I'm happy that there's a fic where they argue but don't leave one another like in the Canterlot Wedding episodes. (Doesn't mean I hate the movie just that I like head cannons too lol)
8649388
Considering the rest of the princesses didn't stand a chance before they were turned to statues i don't think twilight friends can do a lot. And they were getting distracted from the fact they are on the run and don't know many non pony species and they know very little about the enemy and his territory.
This was pretty nifty.
Though now if only Novo gets called out on why Spike was reduced to a pufferfish instead of being a seadragon..
10777856
Every single character in the movie that wasn't Tempest was holding the idiot ball for almost the entire runtime.
With the exception of Cadance all the princesses are capable of teleporting themselves out of harms way instantly; or somepony else who cannot, like Cadie.
That ability alone would've lead to Tempest's defeat in less than a minute. Instead they just stood there like morons, waiting for their turn to be written out of the story.
Laziest script I've seen in a long time. Zero efforts were made.
In terms of capability the bearers could've taken one crippled unicorn no problem, the writers simply didn't allow it. Any character dropping the idiot ball before the showdown would've ruined their masterfully crafted story.
I mean, that initial confrontation could've just ended with five seconds of stress relief for GlimGlam and grumpy servants cleaning up the gore.
9802324
You mean something like doing what needs to be done in order to save your kingdom, regardless of personal repercussions? Yeah, how stoopit. Silly ol Twiggles.
But that isn't the actual issue I have with that scene.
The writers were so desperate to make her the one in the wrong, they flipped the entire main casts personalities and priorities.
With everyone properly in character, it would've been Twilight who'd've been insisting they do it by the book and solve the issue with friendship no matter what, while the others -let's ignore Fluttertowel here- would've opted for the pragmatic approach to get the orb, save ponykind, and apologize later.
But they needed a reason for them to abandon her friend -and sovereign btw- behind enemy lines so Twi could later mutter that "I failed friendship" nonsense.
Gawd, if it isn't obvious already, I hate that movie with fiery passion.
11632931
They probably didn't think about it considering how often did you see anyone telport considering except for when twilight was showing off her many talents before she goes to the crystal empire the first does anyone do that. Well rainbow is in character considering she never was one for looking before she looked. Considering upon finding that nightmare moon has taken Celestia away she tries to attack directly and when the dragon didn't want to move she decided it would be a good idea to kick in the nose. As for the other girls the only experience with criminals is either defeating villains or flimflam artists neither of which give them much experience or knowledge of what bad stuff people can get up to. They did mess up by not noticing that twilight wanted getting stressed out with all the trouble and not showing any concerns for the country. But twilight was dumb in forgetting that the hippogriffs aren't their only allies. Twilight went to them because her playbook is if Celestia says jump you jump. Since Celestia tried to send Luna to the hippogriffs twilight is taking over because Celestia wanted their help. Though the hippogriffs were cowards. They acted like they planned to spend the rest of their lives underwater without even trying to fight back.
11632962
And they probably also just forgot Discords existence.
Some random edge horse just attacked his waifu. That little invasion would've been over even before an angry Glimmer could've gotten the chance to melt Tempest's face off.
Strange. A literal god and a powerful mage who would've retaliated with violence, both absent for some reason.
Those creative geniuses "forgot" a lot of things that would've made their simpleton plot impossible.
11632982
True but considering they only asked for his help once and it seems like they were making the barest effort in teaching him friendship considering everyone else had some clue about it but before fluttershy he didn't have any clue and considering how powerful he is shouldn't they make sure he gets it as much as possible before he does something stupid. Discord of all people should have been a student at the school but they never really were his friends.
Technically, Twilight releasing everypony through the escape hatch of the ship and Tempest noticing it is what got the ship destroyed. Twilight was so worried that the pirates would rat them out, but they didn't. If she had just remained silent, Tempest and her crew would've left the ship unharmed.
11690441
Thanks for the review and are you the actual Hewy from online as I saw your collab with Rowdy C reviewing the Mighty Ducks?
11690445
Yes, I am.
11690731
Awesome