Chapter 51: Showers
Ranger
Chapter 51: Showers
By Wanderer D
Jane found Sunset sitting down on her bed, already out of her armor and in her overalls, hands over her face. She wasn't crying, but she was clearly stressed.
"Oh wow," Jane muttered. "You look like you got smacked around."
Sunset snorted, slowly dragging her hands down to rest them on her lap and looked up at her. "You don't look so hot yourself, hot stuff."
Jane rolled her eyes and sat on her own bed, tiredly taking off her cap and sliding a hand down her scalp. "So. Want to talk about it?"
"I want to crawl into my bed and wake up a year from now."
"Yeah, well, they might let us rest for a bit, but you know that soon enough we'll be up there talking to not only the Commander but all senior staff AND Annette."
Sunset sighed. "I got… a letter from home."
It took a moment for Jane to process that. "Wait." She glanced around to make sure they were alone then leaned forward. "Home as in… the settlement where you met Central or… home-home?"
"The latter," Sunset said.
"Oh." Jane rubbed her arm. "Um… and? Was it bad?"
"Awful."
"Did something happen?"
Sunset groaned and lay back on her bed. "Back home, I was adopted at an early age by my… teacher. For the longest time, for years and years I wanted…" She sighed. "When I called her 'mom' once by mistake… she smiled and sat me down and explained to me I was her most precious student. That she loved me as much as she could possibly love a pupil. That, as her apprentice, I was deserving of her attention and help. That her role as my teacher was important and deep and required trust…. she told me that… I shouldn't feel bad for calling her mom by mistake."
Jane shook her head, standing up and slowly taking her armor off. "That seems… unusually callous."
Sunset snorted. "She was gentle and patient as hell. She smiled. She used careful words. She hugged me. But she never… I wanted it, you know," Sunset felt her throat tighten. "I really, really wanted it. I wanted to call her mom. It was pure torture when she'd walk into my room in the morning to wake me up…
"'Hello, my Little Sun…' she would say. 'It's time to wake up, the sun is risen and so must you…', it was wonderful and it goddamned hurt. But I learned well, and I would smile. Because she didn't want to see me sad."
"Come on," Jane said, offering her hand to Sunset. The latter looked up, noticing her friend was only in underwear and had a towel and her bag of toiletries in her hand.
Sunset smiled. "I guess we probably stink."
"It's a fact."
Jane waited for Sunset to get her things and the pair walked to the showers, getting into their individual units and locking the doors so they could talk.
"Anyway," Sunset continued. "I grew up learning to lie to protect other people's feelings. A defense mechanism that I only employed with those I really wanted to like me. I'm not sure if I never fooled myself into thinking I did too.
"But Celestia… she was the recipient of it the most. I wanted her approval, so I outdid everyone else. I wanted her concern, so I would tell her what was going on with me… to an extent. I wanted her to love me and never have a complaint about me… to be family… so I hid my anger and frustration… it didn't last."
Jane let the water roll down her body, marveling at the lack of pain from her injuries. She was truly completely healed. As she listened to Sunset's bitter admissions, she had to shake her head. "What happened?"
"When I saw that didn't work… I just… stopped caring," Sunset said. She started soaping up, washing out the grime and dirt and burns. "I allowed myself to… to be arrogant. I was the most powerful caster; I was the princesses' personal apprentice; I had a future doing whatever I wanted. Well, if she wasn't going to see how great I was, then everyone else would. And they would tell her. And maybe then she'd acknowledge me."
She paused, running the water through her hair. At the angle, and with the water pressure it was like she was getting a head-massage, and she sighed, feeling her muscles relax a little as the shampoo was washed away.
"It was at that point that a pegasus acquaintance of mine became an alicorn… she was immediately 'adopted' by the royal family. I figured out that my destiny was to become one myself. That, that was Celestia's great plan for me. The reason she couldn't formalize things and make me her official daughter."
Sunset laughed. "Of course, that was just part of it… by then I honestly had convinced myself that I deserved all of that and more. That I belonged not just as an apprentice, but as an equal."
"Geeze, no wonder you walked out of that Star Wars marathon Galahad organized." Jane muttered.
"Oh, haha."
"Sorry, sorry… so what happened next?"
Sunset sighed, turning the water off, and grabbing her towel. "What do you think? I started doing shit I wasn't supposed to do for real." She shook her head at the memories. "Spells that were forbidden for one reason or another, looking into ancient magics… it was all about the power."
"Is that how… you learned Blood Magic?"
Sunset bit her lip. "Yeah. I stole the book before Celestia and I had our last fight. I… had discovered in some texts the properties of a magical mirror and well… you know the rest."
"Most of it, yeah," Jane said, also starting to dry off. "But all of that, as interesting as it is, doesn't actually answer what the current problem is."
Sunset relished the feel of putting on clean clothes again, and didn't answer until she was wearing her sports bra and panties. She wrapped her robe around herself and sat down to blow dry her hair.
Jane emerged from the other shower, also in her robe, and gave her a glare, but shrugged and worked on drying her hair as well.
Soon enough, they were both out. The barracks was still empty, no doubt due to the fact that unlike Jane and Sunset, everyone else was required to assist with the Commander's project.
"That letter I got today…" Sunset said when they were once more sitting down, "Was Celestia telling me that she should have realized that I looked at her as a mother figure, and that it took her up until now to really admit to herself that she felt the same way about me."
Jane blinked. "Wow. I mean… wow."
Sunset sighed. "So on the one hand I… got what I wanted? But… I've not been that ever. I grew up not being her daughter. I realized at one point during my early teens that I was never going to be that to her. I moved forward… came here, did all of this and other than one message in response to an angry comment from me, she never reached out."
"And now she expects you to simply accept this?" Jane asked.
Sunset nodded. "Yeah. I don't know how I feel. She's always been… wonderful. Generous, self-sacrificing and loving, in a distant way. And now she's admitting this because she thought I'd die."
Jane smirked. "Well, she's not wrong. You could die anytime soon."
"Thanks. But you know what I mean."
Jane looked down. "I don't know what to tell you, Sunset. I would give just about everything to see my parents one more time… but the situation is not the same. I guess the question is… are you willing to forgive her for this?"
"I don't know," Sunset said. Her eyes were becoming heavy. "I…" She yawned. "I can't think of what to answer, or how should I feel. I did a lot for a long time to make her happy. I lied to myself. I pretended to be happy when I wasn't… but that's not her fault, I understand. It still weighs on me, though. And after all this time, after all those lies were squeezed out of me and I'm who I am today… I don't know if I can ever return that."
"Maybe," Jane said, stopping to echo Sunset's yawn. "You should sleep on it. But at least you can start talking again, right?"
Sunset closed her eyes. "We'll see."
Canterlot Castle was in flames.
Sunset knew she had to move fast. Her hook shot from her wrist, taking hold on a distant tower. She let herself fly, shooting below at the enemy. Her horn glowed with magic and the chrysalid that was about to tear into Twilight's friends froze in place and exploded into pieces.
She landed, running past the lab and ignoring the many aliens trying to smash through the thick glass tubes until she was looking down from the balcony.
Plasma blasts tore through walls, and pegasi fell from the sky, burning and screaming. Unicorns erected barriers, but were overwhelmed by the sheer amount of firepower.
Sunset barreled through a pair of sectoids, screaming as she shot her shard gun straight into the open mouth of one and finished the other with two shots from her gun. Blood rained on her, painting her red and yellow.
Vipers had overrun the gardens, and even now gorged on the dead, but Sunset didn't have time to avenge them. She had heard a cry from within the castle. She turned around, facing the dark, foreboding entrance before her, neon lights flickering.
She could feel she was being watched but the cry came again! And she knew that pony! She ran into the castle, galloping and fast as her hooves would take her. Where was the rest of her team?
"Menace, this is Sunset! Where are you?"
Garbled voices responded in the radio. One of them sounded like Mox, but she couldn't make out the words.
"Meet me at the Princesses' quarters! She's in danger!"
She kicked into the room, but it was too late. The berserker stood over the body of her mother.
"Momma!"
"Shoot it!" Bradford ordered. "Surround it!"
"It's going for the civilians!"
Sunset shouted, enraged and sliced at the creature with her sword, but it threw her out of the way and with barely an effort snapped Bradford's neck. It took the body and threw it at Jane.
"Laetitia! Mox! Elena!" Sunset cried out. "Shoot it down!"
Sunset couldn't decide who to help. Celestia was down. Bradford was down. Jane was dead and her team had disappeared. The settlement was collapsing and more and more aliens tore through the line.
"My, but you do have violent dreams."
Sunset blinked, drawing a sharp breath as she found herself standing in the frozen scene. "What?" She looked down, but the bodies were gone. "What?"
"Do I presume much by interrupting such a tortuous fantasy?"
Sunset gulped. "A-a dream?"
She was a pony.
She was a human.
"Peace, Sunset Shimmer, calm down, and settle into what you feel most comfortable."
Sunset took a deep breath, trying to relax as the voice had suggested. The world around her faded and she was floating in a void.. well, mostly. Above her she could see a myriad stars. She felt herself calm and her worries fade.
She wasn't changing anymore.
"Interesting, that you would choose that shape."
Sunset opened her eyes. "Who are you? You sound familiar… didn't you interrupt another nightmare before?"
"Ah, you remember well, I must commend you, most would not remember, but it seems my sister chooses her… pupils well. Although perhaps that would not be the correct term for you now?"
It made sense. It all clicked in that moment. When Sunset turned around in her mindscape, she knew who was there.
Princess Luna smiled, sitting calmly as if nothing were the matter. "I heard your cry, Sunset Shimmer. And I came to aid." The princess stood up and walked over to her, tracing a hoof through her hair. "We have much to discuss, Blood Witch… and I think, you have much to talk about on where you are right now, and what our relationship is to be."
o.0.o End Chapter 51 o.0.o
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That nightmare scene is really sad, in a i know its not real but its still terrifying matter.
Well, it’s a good idea that Sunset was adopted by Celestia, could explain how she became her personal student. Missing the one you see as family is never easy to overcome, it makes me sad how Sunset starts to miss Celestia. And Luna, always here to help with nightmares, although judging by her dialoge, it won’t be a friendly talk.
And the chapter title...Reminds me of a familiar thing I have planned for my xcom story
Oh, you are the second writer I read having Luna's dreamscape powers reach her subjects across dimensions.
Wow, it takes a lot of work to make a scene that we all know can only be happening in a nightmare as gripping as this one was. Well done!
This is going to be a difficult conversation for both Luna and Sunset, I think. Difficult, but very much needed. This is tearing up both Sunset and Celestia.
Sunset's dream is very telling, as well. She hasn't broken as cleanly from Equestria as she tells herself, and the new letter from Celestia confessing her own long-denied feelings really brought it to the fore. And regardless of the years of pain, the hardening of war, and the distance between them that she needs to work through, Sunset still loves Celestia as a mother.
Did he start with Episode one or four. No fooling that's a make it or break it decision that a person would be either hooked or booked
I find it interesting Luna is capable of reaching the dreams of people on Earth...
Hope the conversation with auntie Luna goes well. And that Luna stops referring to her as "blood witch" soon. Sunny is extra-conflicted right now.
I so want an omake where Sunset takes The Girls to meet her mom. Laetia, Angel and her Angettes. Would they become SnekPones on the other side of the mirror? Would Laetia be a unicorn or would it change her into Something Else so her psionic powers don't make her blow up?
How the flying F*** did Luna get past the mirror with dream magic???
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https://youtu.be/NFQCYpIHLNQ
Sorry, i saw the opportunity andvhad to use it.
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We need fanart of snekponies cuddling unicorn Sunset now.
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Very carefully.
my first response is...
C*BEEP* That's not Luna.
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I mean. 50/50 Luna says it almost as an endearment. Based partially on the conversation between Luna and Celestia before Celestia wrote her note.
Vice Principal Luna has got some neat tricks!
Dun dun dun!
Geeze, Celestia. No wonder your adopted daughter snapped and ran away to another dimension.
That's one hell of a dream. Hopefully not a prophetic one.
Helpful Luna is helpful.
Man, I get Luna... but still if I were Sunset, I'd be more than a bit affronted by her butting in this soon after that letter...
Sunset's feelings are valid. She was forced to accept the teacher-student relationship as a survival mechanism. It almost feels selfish that Celestia wants this from her now that she is in danger of dying soon... And this is the worse time to have sunsets head not be in the game...
Also, it seems like the blood magic means that Sunset can't really return to Equestria without turning into a crazy crazy pant right? Will that be something Luna helps her with?
Hmm. This definitely seems like Luna, but we'll have to see if that truly is the case. I hope so. Sunset could use the Princess of Immersive Psychotherapy right now. I can't think of anyone better to help sort out conflicting feelings towards Celestia.
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The same way the diary does. For that matter, the same way the mirror does. Magic can bridge the gap, period. There is more than one way.
FORESHAAAAAADOWIIIING!
Luna is OP, not only she can move the moon and go into anyone's dreams, but she can into the dreams of someone from across dimensions, AWESOME!
This kind of backstory for Sunset always bugged me. It places a child Sunset in Celestia’s care, a child whom only has Celestia as any kind of figure. Celestia basically denies Sunset the chance of a parental figure (by adopting her, no one else can take the role and she herself actively refused to take it). Sunset ends up picking up Celestia’s bad habits and developing some of her own while Celestia herself only treats Sunset as a student. Sunset had no other guiding presence, only a teacher instructing her. No familial relationships to fall back on, no one else to teach or show her what she needs to learn. And no one to give her the kind of affection she needed at the time.
It feels like Celestia was unintentionally raising Sunset like a tool, not a child. It’s very hard to see Sunset much at fault here as how she ended up was a direct result of how she was raised. She was starved for affection that she only felt she got when she succeeded, not even being allowed to call her adoptive mother mom (who actively refused the role as well). And when Cadance comes in and is not only adopted, but actually allowed to use familial terms with Celestia, due to becoming an alicorn, Celestia just sealed the deal. It feels like she groomed Sunset into what she was at the start of the fic.
Sure Sunset herself could’ve been better, but is that really fair to expect of someone who’s childhood (when still learning the basics of how to live and be a person) and most of her life was spent under those conditions to not make the decisions she made? Technically, Celestia “taught” her better, but in a do as I say, not as I do way, and Celestia was the only figure of that kind in Sunset’s life. Of course Sunset didn’t know any better.
Heck, in this fic it took the Skirmishers and Bradford roughly two years to push her into being a better person. Both Mox and Bradford offered more family (even with Bradford refusing the role) to Sunset than Celestia ever did. And even though she was in a more violent environment, started practicing blood magic, and had plans to conquer, she managed to turn her life around with their support, and in a not too long timeframe. They were able to do the opposite of what Celestia did. Honestly, even canon seems to lean in this direction, with how quickly Sunset improved after a good ass kicking and finding a good role model (not to mention Nightmare Moon having happened and Twilight being pretty not for friendship at the start of the series).
And yes, I do randomly reread chunks of this story and it’s side story. I really enjoy it.
Luna has a clear picture of Sunset calling her a 'Blood Witch'. A wolf in a sheeps costume is what i see currently in Luna.
We have some very grim foreshadowing, one way or another.
Luna is up to something the thing i wonder about is... what is to come?