AMICITAS FLIGHT THREE – MISSION DAY 527
ARES III SOL 517
TRANSCRIPT – VIDEO TRANSMISSION FROM ARES IV MAV, BEGINNING 13:07 HOURS (ARES III CLOCK)
SPITFIRE: Hermes, MAV, standing by for… press… event, over.
RICK MARTINEZ: MAV, Hermes. Hey, Major! I asked to do your interview today. I figured you’d be more comfortable with a fellow flier. That all right? Ready to go when you are, over.
SPITFIRE: Thank you, Major. I wor… I am working… on my English. Starlight Glimmer is here to help me.
STARLIGHT GLIMMER: Hello, Major Martinez.
SPITFIRE: If she knows it is only to help! Not to speak for me! All right?
STARLIGHT GLIMMER: All right, all right, I said I wouldn’t interrupt.
SPITFIRE: Good. So, ready. Over.
MARTINEZ: Copy, MAV. First question: “We understand you took a beating in that flight of yours. How are you feeling now?”
SPITFIRE: Much more good. Better. But still... long way to go. Wings… my wings… itch… all the time. We run out of… lotion? Lotion. We run out of lotion two weeks ago. Used most on Mark’s burns and Starlight’s leg… er… long ago. So itch, but can’t scratch, because I might hurt… er, damage… growing feathers. …. Over.
MARTINEZ: Roger. Next Q: “How did it feel to bust apart a storm on an alien world?”
SPITFIRE: It felt great. But the hole in suit, losing air, feathers stuck in, in, in, word please?
STARLIGHT: Gunk.
SPITFIRE: Stuck in gunk, all that was not so good. But… excuse me, thinking of words… it was the first time since I left home that I felt like I did what I was born to do. I was flying. I was doing work with… um… weather. I was saving ponies. I can’t say how good that feels. For one… minute? No, um, short time, begins mm…
STARLIGHT: Moment?
SPITFIRE: Yes! For one moment, I was where I belong.
MARTINEZ: Sounds wonderful, Major. Next one: “There are bigger storms in our solar system, and maybe in yours too. What would you say to anyone trying to break your record?”
SPITFIRE: I say: you crazy?? I did what I did because I had to, to save lives. That storm needed a hundred, more pegasus. We had me. I make… I made it work! I was willing to die if it save my friends! That… that’s a good reason to do it. Doing it for… for fun? For break record? That bad reason. That stupid. That will get you dead. Also I was so, so lucky. You, maybe not. So DON’T DO IT! Over!
MARTINEZ: Confirm copy, confirmed! Easy, Spits! I’m on your side! We good for the next question? Here it is: “Soon you’ll be back in space. Are you looking forward to being able to fly around in zero gravity again?”
SPITFIRE: Zero G is not flying. Zero G is all different, totally different, from flying with wings. All different… um, skills. What I look forward to is flying in a real sky, no space suits, just me and the wind.
MARTINEZ: You know, I’m a bit jealous of that? I went hang-gliding once. Damn near broke my leg landing. It’s tougher than it looks. That’s as close as humans ever get to what you experience, I think. But anyway, next question: “Given that one is encased in a capsule at enormous speed and the other exposed but not quite as fast, how does the exhilaration of a rocket launch compare to that of flying?” Over.
SPITFIRE: Some ponies… hang glide… at home too. I think they do. If hang glide is with big, um, thing like kite, um, with pony under?
STARLIGHT: That’s one way to describe a hang glider, yes.
SPITFIRE: Anyway, we have that. Answer to question: can’t, um, er… word? (unintelligible)
STARLIGHT: Compare. Show how two things are alike and unalike.
SPITFIRE: Right. Can’t compare the two. When I fly, I control the flying. I only go up in rocket once. Cherry Berry was pilot, not me. Rocket ride was… was…
STARLIGHT: Exciting?
SPITFIRE: I get there! Wait until I ask! But yes, exciting. Also scary. Feels not at all like pegasus flying. Not… what was word in question? Begins X, but not exciting.
STARLIGHT: Um… I think “exhilaration”?
SPITFIRE: (unintelligible)
STARLIGHT: (unintelligible)
SPITFIRE: Oooh. No, rocket flight very much not exhilaration. Over.
MARTINEZ: Copy, MAV. I agree, it’s not the same when someone else drives. Next question: “Do you think you'll ever go to space again?”
SPITFIRE: I am an officer. I have a duty. I go where I am ordered.
MARTINEZ: Fair enough. The next question is a little complicated. Starlight, could you help her with this one? “You've been on Mars in an environment where you're subjected to 1/3rd of a G for over a year and a half. Have you, or anyone else there, given thought as to how you're going to handle returning to an environment of 1 full G?”
SPITFIRE: I don’t need help for that one. I think about it a very lot. We all will need time to… er… to get used to real G’s again. Most of all I will need lots of work to fly right, to fly good, again. I think about it all the time.
MARTINEZ: Next one: “What kinds of sports do they have back home besides racing and stunt flying? Anything comparable to Quidditch?”
SPITFIRE: Ponies have all kinds of sports. I don’t have words for them. I represent my home town, Clouds Valley, in Pony-land Games twice now! Gold, um, thing wear around neck?
STARLIGHT: Spitfire has won gold medals for aerial racing in multiple, um, Pony-land Games.
SPITFIRE: Yes. But games are not just flying. Ponies kick things, throw things, hit things, um… um… sorry, really don’t have the words. Next questi- no, wait. Also want to say, I think I will try to get ponies to play quidditch when we get home. Now, next question.
MARTINEZ: I’d pay money to see that! Next question- actually, this is a twofer: “How old were you when you knew you wanted a military career? What advice would you give to children wondering about following in your footsteps?”
SPITFIRE: What’s ‘twofer’?
STARLIGHT: It means somebody tried to ask two questions as if they were one.
SPITFIRE: Oh. So it means cheat? Like when you make us roll Evil Mars Dice?
STARLIGHT: There is nothing wrong with those dice! They are perfectly balanced and roll true! It’s not my fault! Besides, you deserve those rolls, after what you did to those goblins!
SPITFIRE: I still say it’s wrong to have not-evil goblins in D&D! Anyway! Um. Sorry, I forgot question, over.
MARTINEZ: “How old were you when you knew you wanted a military career? What advice would you give to children wondering about following in your footsteps?”
SPITFIRE: Oh, right. I wanted to be best flier since I was very small. Best flying team is Wonderful Thunderbolts, part of royal guard. So all my life I work hard to be best. Kids, if you know what you want, work hard. Keep working hard. Maybe you don’t get it if you work hard, but for sure you won’t get it if you don’t work at all! Even if you don’t get it, you’ll still be a better pony for the work! And you don’t know- maybe you find something good you never… um… dream of before!
MARTINEZ: Good advice! Next question: “After so long as a crew member under someone else's command, how are you feeling about returning to your own squad on your homeworld as leader?”
SPITFIRE: No. It’s not my squad now. I’ve been away too long. I’ve been on Mars too long. Maybe I get squad back, maybe not. But if I do, I will have to work for it… earn it… again. I think about this a lot. I think about all the work I will do when I get home. I wish I could start now.
MARTINEZ: Let’s get you off Mars first, Major, okay? Maybe we can help with that. Anyway, last question: “Have you considered a career as a pinup model?”
SPITFIRE: Maybe. I have the looks. I have the body. And I see Mark’s eyes on me all the time!
STARLIGHT: SPITFIRE!!!
SPITFIRE: What? Look is allowed! Flight not hurt my flank! It’s worth looking at! Maybe if you swish your tail for him he look at-
MAV TRANSMISSION TERMINATED AT SOURCE
9198085 Apropos of nothing, when I was very little I heard my grandparents (who grew up during Prohibition) referring to someone as "Jake Leg Bates" (the last name was not Bates, I don't recall what it really was). It wasn't until just a few years ago that I learned what "jake leg" really was. I hope Equestria has no equivalent.
Nice.
Oh dammit Spitfire...
Marklight for the win!
Starlight: "Sh-shut up! Mark's not into anypony, especially not me. Dragonfly, back me up here!"
Dragonfly: *Heavy breathing*
Starlight: "On second thought, don't answer tha—"
Dragonfly: "Hey, if I can't have him, I'd settle for watching Mark watching your butts."
Stupid Sexy Spitire.
And so Spitfire confirmed her status as Queen Troll
I love how Spitfire is voted sexiest alien. Everybody else is just like "What the hell are you thinking?!", while Spitfire is like "Your damn right, look at that flank." *starts shaking butt*
9196367
Thank you for the new Fireball line to perform!
https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/450571904462618624/495109201102897152/Voice_20180927_2233411.wav
Sorry it's all in the left channel. I recorded it on my phone away from home.
Starlight is in denial. She wants Mark to look.
Hmm the various “G” in the text should be lowercase “g”. G is the gravitational constant, when you talk about acceleration of gravity you use g, the EARTH specific acceleration due to gravity
9198141
Dragonfly already confirmed Mark wasn't into that.
Spitfire's always had her place in my heart as Best Wonderbolt.
Now, let us hear more of this.
9198290
I wouldn't recommend this course of action Captain!!!
9198291
Objection overruled. This is for Science!
9198286
Pretty sure she meant that there was no hot action going on between the crew members, but she didn't necessarily mean that they weren't sneaking a few looks every now and then, I think.
Even if he really wasn't attracted in the slightest, I wouldn't put Dragonfly above letting Starlight assume that Mark thinks ponies are hot.
9198292
...Aye aye captain...
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Mark is in denial.
Spigotnose activated!
9196473
The ability to destroy the market for precious metals on top of OP magic just proves that Ponies are Superior.
Pfffft-ahahaha!
Spitfire is sexy and she knows it. Mark look at that body!
Still shipping Mark x Dragonfly, though, and no amount of common sense will stop me!
This chapter was everything I was hoping it would be! In 1400 words we went through the embarrassed moments of Spitfire's poor English, and her stubbornness in handling it, then plenty of poignant bits with thoughts of returning to Equus, responsible bits regarding others not attempting to recreate her feat, wisdom on working to achieve your goals and how it can be beneficial even if you fall short, and then her saying outrageous things for raunchy comedy.
I'm so glad she's had that last side of her through the story; I think Spitfire's at her best when she's confident, and that's one area where she's never faltered in her self-belief. Even now, with half her feathers missing, she knows Mark still wants a piece of that. Also that, for all her stiff upper lip military behaviour, she's not at all uptight about that sexier side, being more open to it than any of the others.
Are these interviews going out to Earth unedited and uncensored? Just how many millions of fan art pieces will the suggestion of tail swishing inspire?
Thanks for including three of my questions, and for having Spitfire give such great answers
9198333
There's a story about Rarity doing just that with clear diamonds (title escapes me right now).
A wonderful character development exposition thingy from a saucy pegasus. Very adorable in my mind space.
Guessing the x word was excruciating.
Wait a minute? Have they nailed Equus as the name of the Pony Land planet already?
Or was that a placeholder you forgot to replace, Kris?
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The Trouble With Unicorns IV, if I'm not mistaken.
Feel better soon, good chapter, and CATCH THAT RUNNING NOSE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
9198449
Or Equus is the planet and Pony-land is the country. Not sure though.
Holy shit that ending, haha. They’re all in denial after being stranded on a different planet for two years.
9198449 Whoops. No, they haven't. Fixing that.
So, how long until Rainbow tries to break up the Big Red Spot 'just because?'
"Starlight, what's English for 'lying in a full-body wing and hoof cast, drinking through a straw'? You know, for the best-case scenario."
Also, the Evil Mars Dice would make a great cursed artifact.
Lol spitfire gonna get mark in trouble for staring at pony butt.
SpitfiresTheme.
Queen:Dont Stop Me Now.
Right Said Fred:Im Too Sexy.
OutThereBrothers:Dont Stop (Wiggle Wiggle).
Lemur Rave Party:I Like To Move It?
Spitfire/Slobberflame for pinup of the year!
derpicdn.net/img/view/2017/1/26/1348544__suggestive_artist-colon-northernsprint_edit_spitfire_explicit+source_female_from+behind_looking+at+you_looking+back_northernsprints+warmup+raf.png
And Mark is never going to hear the end of the teasing after that comment.
9198511 The day after Applejack shows up on Mars with a big sack of apple seeds and says, "Y'all hold mah cider an' watch this."
Pervy Spitfire.
Though Mark clearly has the hots for her.
9198511
oh, there's a crazy collab/crossover series of stories on this site called "MLP time loops" with all sorts of crazy shenanigans, INCLUDING Rainbow Dash eliminating the Great Red Spot, and Applejack turning Tatooine into a forest planet!
9198833
I know about that one. Nopony in this story is that powerful. Or crazy.
9198840
Id think the alicorns could do it. Pulling a carriage filled with mana batteries. Sounds like something a certain rebellious teenage alicorn might do.
9198913
What rebellious teenage alicorn? Twilight's an adult and slavishly obeys every word that comes from Celestia's lips and Flurry's a baby. Still.
9198921
Flurry is no longer a baby in this story. In fact, she teleported from the surface to the Concordia on Sol 331. I honestly don't know how pony aging works, but she is probably nearing adulthood if she ages at mundane pony rates.
9198932
Oh. I forgot
The newsies are going to have a field day with Mark's wandering eyes.
9198511
Spitfire knows Dash enough to give her one of her special lectures, just in case:
9198980
Yes, but will Rainbow remember that?
9198932 She's not a baby, but she's still a little kid.
9198987
Not sure if that would make her less or more likely to try. Probably depends on whether or not she has a cutie mark.