Chapter 15: The Past is Undefining
The next week passed as smoothly as it could have for Sunset. There was no Trixie or Gilda to cause her any physical pain so all she had to do was endure the snide remarks and comments from the other students and occasionally being shoved in a locker by a random classmate. Her saving grace was the five girls that had surrounded her and seemed to forgive her for what she’d done.
However, how long would it last? Sunset still harbored feelings that her ‘change’ might be temporary and it made her rethink her entire situation. She didn’t want to go back to being the old her but would she be able to stop herself. What if she ended hurting the people who actually cared about her? Do they even actually care? That was another thing that weighed down on her. She feared that this ‘friendship’ was just temporary as well and eventually, the novelty would rub off and they would all leave her alone again.
Sunset thought about her deal with Celestia, I actually need someone more experienced to give me some perspective on this. She did say she wanted to help me.
She really need someone other than the five girls to talk to and Principal Celestia seemed like a good option. Sunset chuckled at the thought, How many high schoolers actually WANT to talk to the Principal? However, I’m not your average student.
It was the end of the day and though Sunset knew Principal Celestia set aside third period to talk, she really wanted to get her concerns off her chest and didn’t want to wait until Monday. The last few nights had been rather sleepless with her thoughts of betrayal and ill intent piling onto her mind.
Walking into the office, Sunset saw the door to Celestia’s office opened just enough so she could see papers being strewn across the desk. The receptionist wasn’t there so Sunset stood in the vacant front office, trying to decide whether to knock, wait for the receptionist or just go home and meet her at the time Celestia said she’d set aside, all the while just staring at the door to the Principal’s office.
She had to be standing there for a solid minute before the door opened.
“Sunset?” Celestia questioned, snapping the girl from her thoughts, “Shouldn’t you be headed home.”
“Oh! Uh y-yeah, I j-just…” Sunset trailed off, rubbing the back of her neck.
“Is something wrong?” Celestia asked.
“No. Yes? Maybe?” Sunset sighed and slumped down into a nearby chair, “I’m probably just over analyzing things. It’s probably nothing, sorry.”
Sunset made no move to leave and Celestia knew very well that Sunset had wanted to talk about whatever was bothering her and was just too proud to admit it.
“Why don’t you come into my office?” Celestia offered, smiling at her.
“Really?” Sunset asked, “I don’t want to bug you while you’re working.”
“Nonsense.” She replied simply, walking back into her office.
Sunset followed and shut the door before taking a seat in a chair across from Principal Celestia’s desk. The woman cleared her desk and sat with her arms crossed, elbows resting on the oak surface.
“So, what seems to have you worried?” Celestia asked.
Sunset looked down at her hands clasped in her lap, “I don’t know, it’s kind of stupid.”
“Now, Sunset,” Celestia gave her a reassuring smile, “If it’s bothering you it can’t really be all that stupid.”
“Can you please not do that?” Sunset said.
Celestia looked at Sunset with a confused expression, “Do what?”
“Stop talking to me like a counselor!” Sunset spoke, irritancy evident in her tone, “Don’t talk to me like I’m so fragile that I could break at any moment! I’m not a child! I got enough of that in Equestria and I don’t need it here too!” at this point she was almost yelling, “Just talk to me like any other person! And yes, you’re my Principal but it’s not like I’m going to go to the authorities if you say something I don’t like! That would just lead them to know I’m underage living alone! I’ve been on my own for six years, I think I can handle being talked to like and actual human being!”
Sunset was breathing heavily after her rant and Celestia just took it with grace. The high school Principal was a little startled at the sudden outburst. She scanned Sunset’s expression and saw bags sitting under her eyes and her eyes have a look of both anger and regret.
Sunset’s eyes widened when she realized she had just lashed out at her Principal for no reason, “I’m so sorry!” She panicked, “It just kind of happened! I didn't mean to yell at you like that.” The girl frowned and looked at her hands again.
Celestia studied her for a brief moment before she spoke, “It’s OK, Sunset. I understand what you were trying to say. But I have to ask, have you always had...oh how do I put it… a short fuse?”
Sunset was surprised and glad that she was so upfront about it, “Yeah. It started when I was a filly, uh, small child, shortly after I was adopted.”
“You were adopted?” Celestia asked out of genuine curiosity.
She nodded, “Yep. I’m not exactly sure what happened to my birth parents so my adoptive ones were all I knew. Anyway, my parents are really nice ponies, really, but they really just wanted a toddler forever. They were over protective, and talked down to me even when I was old enough to do my own thing. Eventually, I got tired of it and it made me angry. When I lashed out they acted like it was just a tantrum and tried to ‘soothe’ me. They acted like I was stupid and it irked me.”
“Wow, I’ve heard of coddling but that’s just…odd.” The Principal said, “I can see how that can develop a temper. Especially if it was so constant.”
Sunset nodded, “Yeah it was pretty bad. I always had the feeling of needing to grow up and prove something.”
“Oh?” Celestia asked, “Care to elaborate?”
“Sure,” Sunset obliged, “I got sick of it, I was just so angry all the time, it hurt. So, that’s when I started to sneak out at night and practice my magic, to prove I had grown up.” Sunset shook her head, “That opened a whole new can of worms. When I showed them what I could do they freaked out like I had just set fire to the house when I had only just made some puppets fly a round and accidently knocked over a vase. So, a few days later I ran to ‘Celestia’s School for Gifted Unicorns.’”
Celestia choked on her own saliva, “Sorry, I forget that I’m a magical Princess in another universe.”
“Right,” Sunset continued, “I aced the entrance exam but the Princess wanted to meet my parents. I begged her not to and explained how my home life was to but I didn’t really have a choice. Luckily, it didn’t take long for her to figure out why I wanted to leave. The sent me to take a nap and tried to give me a sippy cup instead of a glass. Needless to say, I lost it and the Princess sent me to wait outside. In the end, she had a talk to my parents and I was off to magic school. I buried myself in my studies and, well, you see where that got me.”
“How was your relationship with the Princess?” asked Celestia.
“Great! Much better than me with my parents.” Sunset answered, “Don’t get me wrong, after I started school they tried but…it was just never…I don’t know. Celestia gave me lessons in the mornings and I did my own thing in the afternoon. Complete personal freedom.”
“I’m going to be frank with you, Sunset.” Celestia said, meeting the girl’s eyes, “It sounds like you went from a home that didn’t let you grow up to a place that wanted you to grow up too fast.”
“What do you mean?” The younger girl questioned.
“Well, you were way too sheltered with your parents.” Celestia explained, “Then with the Princess, she gave you freedom yes, but she didn’t give you a firm hand to direct you other than in studies.”
“She always pushed me to try and make some friends.” Sunset countered.
“Yes, but she never out right told you to, did she?” the woman pointed out.
Sunset shook her head, “She never really told me to do anything until those last months.”
“Do you think you were… lacking in your influences?” Celestia asked.
Sunset put her hand to her chin in thought, “No not really. Then again, I had nothing to compare it to. I didn’t have any friends and then I came to this world and had nobody at all. I guess I’m just used to freedom after Celestia. I used to go by horse years in Equestria so when I was ten, I was sixteen there. Now, I’d be twenty-four in Equestria. It’s how I was raised.”
Celestia thought on this, “Well, to be honest, I find that rather puzzling. But still, you aren't very different from any other teenager, at CHS. You get into trouble, you grow, you learn and now, you’re making friends.”
This made Sunset frown slightly.
“However, that can wait for another time.” Celestia relented, “I’m sorry, we seemed to have gotten a bit off topic. There was something you wanted to talk to me about?”
Sunset frowned, “That just it. I’m making friends. But how do I know if it’s real?Like you said, I’ve lived a pretty sheltered life before now, I don’t know anything about being social or about relationships. I’m just terrified that they’re doing this for some reason and when they deem me ‘reformed’ or whatever, they’re going to leave me. I don’t want to be alone again!” Sunset hugged herself, tears forming in her eyes, “I’m tired of always being alone.”
This struck a chord in Celestia, the same one she felt when seeing where Sunset lived. In front of her; was a lonely girl who never had any proper parental guidance in life and is afraid to lose everything she never had in the past. In such a short time, Sunset had come so far and tried so hard to change what she had become and even now, it tore at her insides.
Now, after a month of trying to correct herself despite the bullying and self-doubt, she broke, everything she’s been bottling up is coming all out at once.
Celestia did the only thing she could of think of. She got up from her chair and sat next to Sunset, who was now in a full emotional break down, and wrapped her arms around her. Immediately, Sunset turned and accepted the hug, clutching on to Principal Celestia as if she was her last life line.
“I-I’m scared, a-and I don’t know wh-what to do.” Sunset said between sobs, “I-I know it’s sil-ly and I’m just thinking of the worst-case scenario that will probably never happen but it’s still in my head after we hang out. I-I feel ac-accepted and I don’t feel pressured. I don’t want it to change. But…what if, I’m the one to ruin it? What if I become…that again?”
Sunset was still crying but she was a little calmer now, “Sunset, I assure you, those five girls are not going to up and leave you alone.” Celestia began to stroke Sunset’s hair, and spoke in a soothing voice, “You’re only scared because it’s new and you are letting your walls down. You’ve been so isolated and it is a big step to go from that, to having people care about you, and from what I see, you also care about them and will never try to hurt them like that again.”
Sunset sniffled, “How do you know? I’ve done it before.”
“Because you didn’t care before.” Celesta said, “Now that you are getting to know them, you want to protect them, and that Sunset, is the difference between you now, and the old you.”
Sunset pulled away, and grabbed a tissue from the box on the desk and wiped her nose, putting the soiled tissue in the garbage can.
“Sunset, listen to me.” Celestia said, getting the girl’s attention again, “Your past is not what defines you, what you do here and now is what matters.”
Sunset looked at the ground smiling and mumbled; “My past is not today.”
“Excuse me?” Celestia questioned.
“It’s what you said; My past is not who I am today. Except…” Sunset brought her hands over her shoulders and traced the scars on her shoulder blades, “It always leaves scars.”
“Are you OK, Sunset?” Celestia asked, for some reason, finding the action unsettling.
Sunset met her eyes and smiled, “Yeah, I think I’m fine for now. Thanks, Principal Celestia.”
“I’m glad I could help. I was honestly afraid that you wouldn’t take me up on my offer.” Celestia admitted.
“Me neither, honestly.” Sunset told her, “But I felt like I couldn’t handle it all. I know myself enough to know when I need an outlet. Usually, I punch a wall or something but it wasn’t really helping me deal with the problem.”
“Well I’m glad you felt comfortable enough to talk to me.” Celestia rose, “Anything else that can’t be left until Monday?”
“No, I’m good.” Sunset grabbed her bag and headed for the door but stopped.
Celestia was about to ask what was wrong but Sunset then turned and hugged the older woman. She smiled.
“Thanks again.” Sunset said before parting just as quickly and headed home.
Celestia smiled and held her forehead, Luna’s going to kill me.
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Interesting idea for a family life.
Great work. I still want Luna to adopt Sunset.
The feels
, anyway great chapter 
Why did Celestia said Luna is gonna kill her, I'm completely lost
8754645
Shes starting to get attached. Sorry I didn't make that clear.
8754528
Haha glad you enjoyed it. Like I said, this was my favorite chapter in the first arc. I'm pretty sure I rewrote this chapter twice before I was happy with it.
Kinda awkward, given the latest special.
8760832
Haha, yeah. This chapter was written back in December. Never thought Trixie would become Sunsets friend. Atleast this is WAY before any of that happened.
Wow, didn't expect to hear this.
I'd hate to have parents like them.
She's right.