• Published 22nd Jul 2012
  • 2,617 Views, 19 Comments

Fluttershy's Wings Are Fully Spread - Jabazor



The title for this story needs to be changed. It is, undoubtedly, the worst title ever.

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The Day Fluttershy Wasn't So Shy

It's certainly nothing unusual or something to be worried about. Waking up with wings widely spread and perfectly straight happened on occasion. Usually, a pony would just wait until they went down or perhaps just try to fall back asleep. But Fluttershy had to get up and go today, so there was no waiting to be done.

Fluttershy had to wake up far earlier than usual on this particular day because she had forgotten to get food for her animals the day before. She was too busy going on some crazy adventures with her friends and couldn't help arriving at home at a very late hour. Fluttershy's animals expected the best from her and if she didn't have their food in time for their breakfast, it would be a hectic time because she would have dozens of starving animals all begging to her for food.

She quickly groomed and was immediately out the door, but she was, as always, quiet during the entire process. Some of her animals had yet to wake and the others would just have to wait until the time for breakfast rolled around. But when the time for breakfast came to and there was no food, needless to say that a few of the animals got ferocious. Also, if Fluttershy didn't have food by lunch, they would be just plain monstrous.

Being the ever so shy pony that she was, Fluttershy did have a hard time forcing herself to walk into Ponyville with such looks. She would've usually just flown over Ponyville to get the food, but her wings disallowed her from doing such.

Almost everypony knew what it meant to have some morning wing, but just walking out into public with it was considered rude and disgusting. But a certain few pegasi just went ahead and came out into town with it anyways because they didn't care. Rainbow Dash had done it a few times, but when a pony asked her why she did it, she replied that it made things 20 percent cooler and that was that.

Today happened to be a Saturday, so more ponies than usual would be out early in the morning and eager to enjoy the entirety of the day. One of the ponies out-and-about was sitting at a local restaraunt on the edge of town. That pony happened to be Rarity.

When Rarity saw Fluttershy rushing into town, she didn't quite make out Fluttershy's erect wings and thought that she could have a good chat.

"Yoohoo! Fluttershy! Would you like to have a bite to eat?" yelled Rarity to Fluttershy from a distance with a sort of "good start to my day" tone.

Fluttershy turned around slowly and felt a sting of realization when she saw Rarity. Somewhat scared, Fluttershy started nervously and cautiously walking towards Rarity. Most ponies would just have said no and trotted away because of the situation, but Fluttershy was far too kind to pass up a chat with a friend.

When Fluttershy got closer, she got the expected reaction and felt the same sting of realization as before. But she continued up to Rarity anyways. Even though they were both completely silent. Rarity just stared and sat there with her mouth wide open. Both were beginning to think this was a bad idea.

"Well hello, Rarity...It's...uhh...it's nice to see you around," said Fluttershy as she tried to act as civil as possible. She put a false smile on her face and waited for Rarity's reply, which was taking a while.

"Umm...likewise.....It's a bit early for you to be awake, is it not?" said Rarity in shock as she continued to stare at Fluttershy's wings.

"Why yes, but my animals need to get their food, so I have to go into town and order some."

"You're going into town with those?!" Rarity yelled as she spit out some coffee she was sipping.

A few ponies around the restaraunt turned their heads. A few got back to what they were doing quickly and others who were close enough stared at Fluttershy's wings.

Rarity looked like a confused and surprised mess of a pony. She quickly applied her lady-like posture and cleared her throat as to act like it was an accident. Rarity made herself and Fluttershy look foolish. Being the lady that she was, she put her hair back in place and wiped the table she was at with a napkin.

"Sorry about that outburst, Darling," said Rarity as she stared at a small mirror in her purse as she continued to fix her hair. She put away the mirror and was surprised again by Fluttershy.

"That's alright, Rarity. As for getting the food. I have to. I don't want the animals to be angry," said Fluttershy with false enthusiasm and obvious embarassment.

"Surely the earliness has boggled your brain. I highly suggest that you wait a while for those to...uhh," Rarity peeked over Fluttershy and looked at the wings again, "die down a bit."

Rarity's tone obviously pointed out worry for Fluttershy, but Fluttershy had to deny the advice.

"I think it'll be alright. Anyways, I would stop and eat, but I have to go get the food delivered...unless that's not alright with you." Fluttershy took a step back and looked at the ground nervously.

"Uuuggghhh..." Rarity put her hoof on her head. "Please be sneaky, Fluttershy. Those are terribly obvious," her tone suggesting that she was annoyed and also embarassed.

Fluttershy's wings proved to be bigger than most others' and so the wingrection was, in fact, "terribly obvious." But, none-the-less, Fluttershy started walking to the middle of the town.

For as early as it was, there were more ponies outside than usual. Fluttershy sat nervously behind the corner of a building and thought about turning back. Turning back would result in a fate worse than that of going onwards, though. The worst part was the fact that her wings actually wouldn't go down. It was funny in a way, but horribly embarassing.

As soon as she stepped out of the corner she was turning heads that would receive an unpleasant surprise. Everypony stared as she walked out into the middle of the street. Some could be seen putting their heads close to another's and whispering with a hoof covering their mouth.

Soon, Fluttershy was alone in the middle of the street and every eye was on her. She looked around nervously and even waved a hoof only to recede into a horrified stance. Humiliating herself further and not being able to run from the situation, Fluttershy did what she thought was best.

"Why, hello, everypony," said Fluttershy as she wiped her face free of an embarassed look. She even had a smile seemingly glued on.

Fluttershy ended on that and walked to the crowd that seemingly encircled her.

"Excuse me," she said politely in her quiet and gentle tone as she walked past a few of the ponies around her.

Everypony turned around and stared a bit longer, but they eventually got back to what they were doing. Pinkie was excluded from this group, however. She was up and at it as usual because she would usually just walk around town and say hi to a few of the ponies to try waking them up a bit.

Pinkie had no idea what a wingrection was. Also, being the playful and curious pony that she was, she walked straight up to Fluttershy and just began rambling.

"Did you just pull a magic trick!? Everypony turned their head and made a crowd around you and I didn't get to see what you were doing," said Pinkie as she popped up in front of Fluttershy without warning.

Fluttershy yelped and jumped back a bit, but Pinkie just walked forward and continued with the questions like there was nothing wrong with what she was doing.

"I was only walking through and said hi to everypony," said Fluttershy as she was recovering from her startle.

"What about your wings, 'Shy? They're huge! Are you spreading them to give out rides or something like that?" said Pinkie as she walked around Fluttershy.

"Well-" Fluttershy stepped back a bit.

"I want to fly around town and do stuff like throw confetti and cupcakes at everypony I see!" Pinkie was hopping and running about pretending to demonstrate riding a pegasus while throwing things.

"I don't-" Fluttershy ducked as Pinkie tried to jump on her.

"But, then again, you aren't the strongest or fastest of flyers, are you?" said Pinkie as she recovered from her missed jump.

"Uhh...I guess that that's true." Fluttershy was beginning to regret her modesty.


"Maybe I'll just go to Dash and see if she can spread her wings like that for me and then we can ride. Is there a term for what you have goin' on there?"

Pinkie was coming at Fluttershy with questions so fast that she was getting very mind-boggled and annoyed. Fluttershy held her hoof to her face in anger of Pinkie's ignorance. But, in Fluttershy's mind, it would be rude and unkind to not answer a question with no offensive intent, so Fluttershy went on with the conversation.

"A wingboner or a wingrection," grumbled Fluttershy.

"Oki-doki-loki! I'm going to find Dash and see if she can get a wingrection so that I can ride her!"

Pinkie's happiness started becoming very uncomfortable for Fluttershy. It just sounded so wrong.

"I'm sorry if this sounds a little bit offensive, Pinkie...actually. I don't want to sound offensive. So should I not say it?"

"Go ahead and say it, 'Shy. It can't be that bad."

"What you said before about getting Dash a wingrection," Fluttershy paused to make sure that Pinkie was paying attention, "and then riding her can be taken the wrong way very easily."

"Why? Because it's dangerous? I'll have you know that my middle name starts with D. Guess my middle name."

"Danger."

"Nope. Diane. Good guess, though."

Fluttershy was just completely lost now.

"I'm sorry, but I don't understand how that's relevant. Could you explain?.....It's alright if you don't want to, though," said Fluttershy sheepishly.

Pinkie just started laughing at Fluttershy's confusion. Pinkie's laughing only made Fluttershy more confused, as was displayed on her face, so Pinkie only laughed harder.

"You're silly, Fluttershy. I'll se ya' 'round." said Pinkie with no worries and no awareness of what she had just done.

Just like that, Pinkie went off. Fluttershy stood there in her own little empty space that was void of any sense for a bit longer and then realized the ponies watching her and started walking again.

After being annoyed by Pinkie, Fluttershy moved on to a new annoyance: She simply could not get her wings down. Perhaps she had a medical condition she was unaware of. Perhaps there were things around town making her like this. There weren't any aphrodisiacs around as far as she was aware. So Fluttershy's only conclusion was that it was just one of those days.

Fluttershy started walking in the direction of the veterinarian, which was about a ten-minute walk from where she was currently. It would've been an even shorter fly. Besides, a pegasi flapping there wings was, for the sake of appropriateness, "how the magic happened". Fluttershy started picking up speed, though. The more time she wasted just standing around or talking the more likely she would have upset animals.

Fluttershy managed to get in about three minutes of walking before Rainbow Dash suddenly flew down and hid herself behind a chimney. Fluttershy prepared for the inevitable with great annoyance was about to ask Dash what was up until she saw Pinkie trotting down the street and yelling for Rainbow Dash.

"Dashie? Yoohoo! I still want that ride," yelled Pinkie. "C'mon, Dash! There's nothing wrong with it!"

Pinkie was merrily trotting through the town looking for Dash and was making a fool of herself. As soon as Pinkie saw Fluttershy, she trotted over to her. Fluttershy looked up to the sky and whispered.

"If this day is the bane of me, Princess Celestia, let it be a calm and joyful end."

Flutershy let her head back down and Pinkie's nose was practically touching her's.

"Well hi again, Fluttershy. Have you seen Rainbow Dash?"

Fluttershy was not one to lie to a friends's face unless it was urgent. So she paused and stuttered.

"Well?" Pinkie started staring Fluttershy down.

The only sensible option was to say something truthful but not tell the whole story.

"I did see Rainbow Dash flying around..." Fluttershy stuttered. "I'm not entirely sure what she was doing, though," Fluttershy's body-weight was shifting and her eyes looking to the chimney for some help, but she received none from the head peeking around the chimney's corner.

Pinkie stared curiously at Fluttershy for a few more seconds but stopped when she saw that she was scaring Fluttershy. Since Fluttershy was a good friend and she could get easily traumatized, Pinkie decided to let her off easy.

"Aaaaalrighty then..." Pinkie turned her head and then immediately turned it back with eyes that could've stared into Fluttershy's soul, which startled Fluttershy, "I'll see you later. Right now I have to search for Dashie," said Pinkie somewhat slowly as she began to to turn her body and walk away.

Pinkie Pie was off again humming a happy toon and Fluttershy began walking again until she heard Rainbow Dash's voice from behind the chimney.

"Is she gone?"

"Yes," said Fluttershy as she secretly rolled her eyes and hid her aggravated feelings.

"Phew. You have no idea what's happened to me, Shy. She wanted to.....do things with me," said Rainbow Dash as she came around the chimney.

"Well I'm sure that it was a big misunderstanding."

"What I'm not understanding is what I'm lookin' at right now. Are you no longer..." Rainbow Dash moved up right next to Fluttershy to make it as funny as possible,"...shy?"

Rainbow Dash fell down in laughter as she left Fluttershy with an unamused and unbroken stare.

"Not really. These just came out of nowhere," said Fluttershy with a hint of aggravation showing through.

"Those are huge! You're going to attract the whole town's attention."

"Already have," said Fluttershy sheepishly.

"Those are definitely a record. You must be pretty hardcore to walk around town like that...I think that I even see a vein," said Rainbow Dash as she walked up closer to Fluttershy.

Fluttershy backed up a bit. "You do it sometimes. Does that mean that you want to be...umm...hardcore?" her tone suggesting that she was getting a bit angry.

"Well everypony already knows that I'm hardcore. I am Rainbow Dash, ya' know? Besides, I make it look awesome."

"I had to walk out into town like this to get food delivered for the animals. I wish that I could fly with these things."

"Oh. Well, if you're...uhh..." Rainbow Dash took a good look at Fluttershy's wings. She was lacking any good words at the moment. "If you're...uhh...'out-and-about' with your wings, trying to fly is not exactly something that's considered 'publicly decent' when in public." Rainbow Dash turned to Fluttershy, whom was sporting a somewhat traumatized stare. "Oh!" said Rainbow Dash as she realized what she said. "I don't do it. I'm not saying that you do either. Well anyways, Pinkie wanted to get me to have a wingrection and then she wanted to 'ride me'. I've never felt so traumatized and uncomfortable in my life."

"She wanted to ride me, too."

"First off, Pinkie's turned into some sort of sexual moster. Secondly..." Rainbow Dash signaled Fluttershy with her hoof as to make her come closer, "...did her asking that give you the wingrection?"

"NO!" Fluttershy was obviously dumbfounded at such a question, but Rainbow Dash's serious expression signified that she thought the question that Pinkie asked actually gave her the wingrection.

"She saw my wings like this earlier and thought that I was giving rides to non-pegasus ponies. She wanted to throw confetti and cupcakes at them, which didn't sound very pleasant." Fluttershy was worn out with being so confused and so irritated, so she was now trying to remain calm.

"Oh. Sorry," said Rainbow Dash as she laughed light-heartedly and rubbed the back of her neck. "Still. That pony's crazy. I don't trust her. If you see her before I do, tell her that I'm not doing that. I have to clear the skies because today's supposed to another bright and sunny day. What a surprise." said Rainbow Dash sarcastically.

"Well, at least you make everypony and the animals happy because of it always being so sunny," said Fluttershy with a smile.

"Yeah. Unicorns get to have all the fun," laughed Rainbow Dash. "See ya."

As soon as Rainbow Dash left, Fluttershy started walking to the veterinarian's to get the animal food again. On her way there, she started getting some stares that didn't imply that the ponies were thinking badly of her for walking around with erect wings.

Fluttershy started to get the occasional whistle and "You work it, Girl!" She didn't even know the ponies doing this and began to feel very uncomfortable. A very familiar voice brought some comfort back, though.

"Would y'all knock it off?!" yelled Applejack as she trotted up next to Fluttershy without notice.

Fluttershy ran behind a bush in fear, but when she saw the friendly and familiar face of Applejack, she trotted up to her and then started walking alongside her.

"What in the hay are you doin', Girl? Those are just askin' for bad attention," said Applejack as she stared at Fluttershy's wings.

Fluttershy felt some relief as Applejack started walking alongside her. The fact that they were walking and talking was nice, too, seeing as to how Fluttershy was so busy.

"Well hello, Applejack. I'm getting food for the animals back at my house."

"Well I see that yer doin' it in style," Applejack laughed and made it obvious that she was poking fun at Fluttershy. "Will those thangs just not calm down or what?"

"I don't know what's wrong. They won't go away."

"Well maybe if I push on 'em-"

"I prefer that you don't," said Fluttershy as she backed away a bit. "They wouldn't go away and it would be very painful."

"Huh.....Well do they have to be straight-out like that?"

"I don't know if I can control them. They just happen to be like that on some days."

"I'm sure that you already know this, but uhh..." Applejack smiled uncomfortably, "if you have those for too long, yer supposed ta call a doctor or somethin' like that. Did you...take a pill?"

"No. They just happened to be like this. It confuses me quite a bit." said Fluttershy in a casual tone.

"Oh. I see. But..." Applejack took a moment to think about what she was saying. "I...don't know what you do...in yer spare time...and...weeeeelllll..."

Fluttershy's eyes widened and she turned to Applejack. "Are you implying that I...umm..." Fluttershy obviously didn't feel comfortable saying the next words.

Applejack rubbed the back of her neck and started speaking like she was embarassed. "Well you do live in a house full 'a animals and other little critters and you conduct a bird choir. You're also just walkin' around with 'em like it's nothing embarassin'. It doesn't seem that hard to believe."

Applejack suddenly felt bad because this was obviously heading in a bad direction.

"Does everypony think I do that?" replied Fluttershy with a sad and worried tone as she looked back at her wings.

"Aww shucks. 'A course not." Applejack put her hoof around Fluttershy's back and started patting. She was careful to miss the wings. "Besides, you're a beauty to behold and those things...err...just come with the package, am I right?" said Applejack with some enthusiasm. Applejack was obviously uncomfortable and put herself in a bad spot, but she had no bad intentions, which Fluttershy was well aware of.

"I guess so. I just have a hard time walking around with these. They've given me quite the events."

"Like what?"

"Pinkie Pie came up to me just recently and din't know what they meant. She thought I was giving rides. She figured that I couldn't actually carry her, though, so she went to Rainbow Dash."

"Oh my goodness," said Applejack inbetween laughs.

"She apparently told Rainbow Dash that she wanted her to 'get a wingrection so that she could ride her.'"

"Well...that's Pinkie for ya'. Anyways, I ought to get back to my brother at the restaurant. I just happened to hear all 'a the whistlin' and wondered what was goin' on."

So Applejack decided to leave. By the time they were finished talking, Fluttershy had arrived at the veterinarian's. Since Fluttershy was a regular customer, the manager wasn't as surprised as the other ponies, but still had to stare every now-and-again.

"Well...uhh...hi, Fluttershy. Anything...special today?" said the manager nervously.

"Not today. I'll get the usual, please."

"Any...special occasion?"

"Nope," said Fluttershy annoyedly.

Fluttershy was well aware that the manager wanted to know why she had a wingrection, but she decided to try to avert any questions to the subject of food.

The manager went up to Fluttershy and started to pull down some of the bags of food with her. But while doing so, he accidentally bumped into Fluttershy a few times, which felt extremely wrong for both of them.

Once all of the food was picked out, Fluttershy paid, exited, and hired a pony-drawn carriage to deliever the food back to her house. The stallions pulling the cart made it nearly crash a few times as they couldn't help but take a few quick glances at the wings covering the entirety of the seat.

At home, Fluttershy started unloading the bags of food. The two stallions helped her carry them in and then left. As soon as Fluttershy opened the bags of food for her different animals, they came rushing to her ferociously. She let them all be and then got back in bed with wings still fully erect.

All-in-all, it was a pretty whacky and fun start to her day. Fluttershy couldn't figure out why she still had a wingrection, but didn't care. It had caused her enough trouble already and she just wanted to sleep. When Fluttershy woke up a little bit later in the afternoon, she couldn't help but almost scream.

"Oh no!" yelped Fluttershy as she saw her wings. "What the hay is going on!?.....This stinks."

Fluttershy's wings were still fully erect. Will we ever know why? Of course not.

The end.

Comments ( 19 )

first post, first like, and first read!!:pinkiehappy:

I'll have you know that that makes you totally awesome sauce. Especially since I told you personally that I was going to quit.

951027 i was online, saw a new story was posted 2 minutes ago at the time and thought, why not.:scootangel:

Alrighty, I'm going to be completely honest with you, and offer some constructive criticism. Please don't take offense, as I really am just trying to help. :pinkiesad2:

Your story suffers from a lot of problems. Some are worse than others. But, the concept and plotline aren't bad, and you did come up with some amusing and interesting scenes.

Here are some basic things you can work on to try and improve the story.
--Spelling and grammar. You have some grammatical and punctuation errors. Most of them involve dialogue and quotations. For example, "Excuse me." She said as she walked.... should be "Excuse me," she said as she walked......
--Indention. You should indent the start of each paragraph. It helps the story look more aesthetically pleasing, and makes you look more professional.
--Dialogue. Some of your dialogue is out of character, while some sections fit perfectly. Try to go back through and look at each line, and ask yourself "Would *character* really say this?" Fluttershy telling Dash that her job is boring, for example, is a bit rude and out of character. Applejack's dialogue and diction, on the other hand, are good. :ajsmug:
--This story raises a few issues and questions.
1)Why can't Fluttershy just fly across town, even with her wings spread?
2)Did Fluttershy forget to feed the animals AT ALL yesterday (kinda out of character, if so)?
3)Why are there so darn many ponies out and about so early in the morning? That in particular is hard to believe. I'd suggest you tone down the number of townsponies out and about. Perhaps just a few ponies, but their reactions are more intense - harsh looks, insulting comments, gasps of horror or disgust... :trixieshiftright:
4)Pleeeeeeeease clarify that the vet accidentally bumped into Fluttershy several times. At first I thought he was being a creeper. :raritydespair:


Those are some of the most important and basic things I can say right now. If you want, I can provide more in-depth analysis, critique, and advice. Like I said, you've got some good ideas in this story. It just needs to be polished and tweaked a bit, so they can better shine.

Hmmmm.....something about Fluttershy have such a long wingboner does not sound healthy....matter offact making somehing is wrong with her wong bones or something....at any case, you did rather well for this and I'm very sorry that yout not joining Fim anymore, have a great life and hoping to hear from you in the future.

Fluttershy's wings were still fully erect. Will we ever know why? Of course not.

The end.

Perfect.

Rainbow Dash had done it a few times:facehoof: youve ruined it:trixieshiftleft:no ill stop reading:trixieshiftright:but when a pony asked her why she did it, she replied that it made things 20% cooler and that was that.:rainbowdetermined2:HARDCORE

Surely there must be some sort of treatment if this, um, condition persists for more than four hours. Or am I thinking of something else?

Why is this in the group "Flutterdash"...

Like I say to many fics, I personally don't care at all for grammatical errors and such. As long as its not so obvious that it either distracts me completely or that it is just a complete crime to writing, then I really don't mind. The whole plot of the story is a lot more interesting then dictating how either these people (and you) write or of there accidental mistakes.

Sorry for the generalized comment. But my feelings stretch onto this fic.

Anyway, I think you did very well on writing this. So I say good job fine sir. :moustache:



Edit: And I do realize that a lot of the time the corrections are to make the writer aware of them so they can fix and better their writing skills.

:flutterrage: The Ending was perfect.

Ha! Quite a hilarious little one-shot. Poor flutters always gets the short end of the stick doesn't she? XD

Interesting premise, but not well executed.

Lycan_01 noted several items that I note have already been fixed, but there are several more issues. The OOC moments in the dialog are still a bit of an issue, and the story jumps around quite a bit between scenes.

But the main problem with this fic is the choppy way it's written. What I mean by that is that most of your sentences are to the point, have very little support or descriptive information associated with them, and stand pretty much alone. Here's what I'm talking about:

Fluttershy had to wake up far earlier than usual on this particular day because she had forgotten to get food for her animals the day before. She was too busy going on some crazy adventures with her friends and couldn't help arriving at home at a very late hour. Fluttershy's animals expected the best from her and if she didn't have their food in time for their breakfast, it would be a hectic time because she would have dozens of starving animals all begging to her for food.

While mostly grammatically correct, this does not read well. Each of the sentences above could easily be it's own paragraph as it is only vaguely related to the preceding or following sentence. Try to lead one line into the next so that each paragraph is a flowing thought process instead of a jarring set of ideas.

And then it was bumped for attention.

lol nice job. :rainbowlaugh:

Maybe she's in heat and never realize it.

I have...no idea...what I just read.

I...that...they...she...

*splutters and stutters incoherantly*

*groan*

I can't. I just can't. No words. Just...no words.


Poor Flutters.

:applejackconfused::twilightoops::rainbowderp::fluttershysad:

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