Agent Pinkie's Super Special Top Secret Mission!
The springing of spring had finally sprung, what with the winter wrap-up finished. Boltsinger took part as a member of the weather team. It was the first time in years he had had a chance to really bust some clouds, and he was super good at it! Probably because he spent his childhood with a family of cloud-busters! He used a lot of wind to do it, and other times he would plow right into them with a big POOF and then--”
Pinkie, I’m the narrator here. You said you wouldn’t do this kind of thing with me.
Pinkie looked towards what she thought was the source of the voice. “Oops! Sorry!” She shrank into herself with a smile as the ponies around her stared at her with a dumbfounded look on their faces. “I’m just so excited!” She exclaimed, bouncing over to Sugar Cube Corner. “‘Cause I’m gonna be planning another birthday party soon! Twilight’s birthday is coming up, and I know that Rainbow Dash has a birth-iversary, too! Everypony’s birthdays are going to be super fun! And I know what I’m gonna do for every single--” She stopped in her tracks, letting out a loud gasp. “Wait just a sugar-coated minute!” She looked forcefully to the side, panicked. “I don’t know when Bolt’s birthday is!”
Boltsinger made his way through the castle halls, taking off his team vest and placing it on the hanger next to Twilight’s multi-colored one. It had been a long day, but it was worth it. For the first time in years, he got to do some good old fashioned cloud-busting. And this time, he wasn’t slowing anypony else down, which was a nice feeling to have. He was ready to wind down for the day, pick up a good book, settle down into bed, and escape into some other world until he fell asleep. He smiled, wondering what book he was going to open up tonight as a loud bang not only shook him from his thoughts, but shook the ground beneath him, causing him to bounce on his hooves as his momentum moved him forward.
“BOLT!” a familiar high-pitched voice sounded, a tone of urgency present. “I… NEED… ANSWERS!” The stallion turned to see what was going on as Pinkie Pie ran up to him, stopping mere inches from his muzzle as his rump hit the floor. “WHEN IS YOUR BIRTHDAY?”
Boltsinger’s eyes widened at the question. His pupils turned back, trying to find the knowledge his hyperactive friend requested. “Why do you need that information?”
Pinkie looked at him with a perfectly straight face. “Bolt, please, who are you talking to?” Boltsinger raised a hoof and opened his mouth to speak. “That’s right! You’re talking to Ponyville’s number one party planner! I know every birthday that ever birthed in Ponyville! Except yours… And how can I plan a birthday party if there’s no birthday for the party to plan for?”
“Well, I don’t really put much stock into my birthday, so…” the stallion began.
“WHAT?!” Pinkie interjected, rearing back. “But your birthday is the one day of the year you get to celebrate the super special spectacular and amazing you that you are! Why wouldn’t you want to celebrate that?”
“Well, I never saw too much to celebrate once my little flights of fancy started.” He continued. “I spent every birthday alone, and after a while, days started to kind of blur together.” He twirled one of his hooves and rolled his eyes about for emphasis. “So I ended up not really caring too much for it. I just get older, that’s about it.” He stood up and turned to head for the bedroom once more. “Besides, even if I did care about my birthday, I don’t even remember when it is.”
Pinkie Pie, still standing on her hind legs, fell to the floor with her eyes glued to the pony before her. “You don’t remember your own birthday? Not even a little?” Boltsinger shook his head as he continued on. “But… What if I found out when it was? Could we still celebrate it then?”
“If you want to go to all that trouble, I won’t stop you, but I don’t think there’s anypony that really knows anymore that would just tell you.” He started, taking a look back at her. “So, unless you plan to go all the way to Vanhoover and ask my brother, I don’t know how you’re gonna…” Pinkie sat up, showing a look of excited realization. “Pinkie? Are you okay?”
“Yup! And you just gave me the BEST IDEA EVER!” She proclaimed, taking off out the door with a Pinkie Pie-shaped dust cloud where she stood. Boltsinger looked at the dust cloud, more confused than he had ever been in his life.
“There I was, on the Friendship Express headed for the northwestern town of Vanhoover! I was a mare on a mission, seeking the most important information I could ever get my hooves on! There was a birthday missing from my database, and--”
Pinkie! What did I say about narrating?!
“Oh, please let me narrate a little bit! It’s only for a little while!” She pleaded, putting her front hooves together and begging to some force up above. “I promise I’ll stop soon!”
Fine. But just this once!
“Yay!” She shouted, throwing confetti out of nowhere.
Just.
This.
Once.
Are we clear?
Pinkie nodded. “Crystal Empire clear!” She looked sternly forward. “So there I was, on the way to get the super-important information in Vanhoover. It wasn’t going to be easy, but I was determined, I was going to make sure every birthday in Ponyville would be properly celebrated! But this time, I decided to just take the train the whole way instead of the kind of crazy adventure that took me all the way to Yakyakistan!” She looked up again. “All done!”
Thank you.
The train pulled into the station, the pink pony walking out and looking around at the scenery. She had seen the town in a memory before, but this was her first time actually in Vanhoover. Had she just been visiting, she would be going all over the place, but this time, she had an objective. She hopped over to a nearby pony.
“Hi! I’m Pinkie Pie!” She held out a hoof in greeting. The pony stopped in his tracks, looking quizzically at the mare. “Can you take me to the place Brightling lives?”
The pony’s pupils shrank as he heard the name. “You wanna go see Brightling? Why?”
“I have a question for him! Gotta get some super important information!” She told him. “So where does he live?”
The pony relented, giving her directions that led her to a house that she recognized from the memory she took part in. She bounded up to the front door, knocking rapidly. Hoofsteps were heard from the other side of the door leading up to the handle turning. As it opened, the stallion with the faded yellow coat stood before her, a sour look on his muzzle.
“And you are?” He angrily asked.
“I’m Pinkie Pie!” She said, raising a foreleg excitedly. “And you’re Brightling! I’ve heard so much about you!”
“That’s… good… I guess.” He replied. “What do you want?”
“I’m after some information!” she continued, bobbing her head as if talking to a beat. “I’m planning a really big party, but if I can’t tell when it’s supposed to be, then I can’t throw the party at all! But I can’t have that! This party is way too big for that! The pony I’m throwing the party for doesn’t know what I need to know, but you know what I need to know so I need you to let me know so that I can know! You know?”
“... I don’t.” Brightling said, more confused than angry now. “Just tell me what you want…”
“I need to know when Boltsinger’s birthday is!” Pinkie finally told him. He glared at her with a deadpan look, lingering for a few seconds on the happy pony at his door.
“No.” With that, he slammed the door as hard as he could. He turned to go back inside, seeing the pink pony that was once outside now standing before him again.
“Pleeeeeeeeeeeeease?” She said, leaning in close while tilting her head and batting her eyelashes.
Brightling jumped back, balling his wings into fists at the intrusion. “I said no!” He shouted, lunging forward and taking a swing with his right wing. Pinkie leaned slightly to the side, the wing-fist passing harmlessly by her.
“But it’s so that your baby brother can celebrate his big day!” she continued, periodically dodging punches thrown by the angry Pegasus. “Don’t you want him to smile?”
“I don’t care if he smiles or not! He’s no brother of mine!!” Brightling stated, finally managing to grab the mare with his wings. He turned and opened the door, tossing her into the street. He slapped his wings together a few times, as if clearing off dust, turning around to see the smiling mare in front of him again.
“That’s not what I gathered from your Hearth’s Warming present!” She lead, dodging more attempts to grab at her. “It was such a wonderful gift that he was out above the castle calling out to you for a long time!”
Brightling stopped, looking curiously at her. He turned his head to look at her fully with one eye. “What do you mean?”
“Well, I only heard him calling out on Hearth’s Warming Eve, but from what Twilight says, he was really touched by you leaving his Hearth’s Warming doll there for him!” She sat on the floor, raising her forelegs to pantomime as she described what she could in detail.
Brightling looked on at the insane pony in his home, showing some interest as his rump hit the floor. As he raised a hoof to his muzzle, a flash of green shone in his eyes and his face turned sour once more. He stomped his hoof on the floor and got up. “Okay, I’ve humored you long enough. Get out of my house! Now!”
“But you haven’t told me when his birthday is!” Pinkie pointed out. “You haven’t humored me at all if you haven’t told me what I need to know!”
From upstairs, hoofsteps were heard, walking slowly yet deliberately. “Brightling! Who are you talking to?!” A mare’s voice shouted, the hoofsteps moving down the stairs.
“Somepony from Ponyville. Says she’s planning a party.” Brightling explained. “I’ve tried getting her to leave, but she just… keeps coming back!”
“Ugh… All right, I’ll take care of it.” She said, coming down the stairs entirely. Pinkie looked at the foot of the stairs, seeing Sparks glaring at her. “You’re one of those ponies from the Gala, aren’t you?”
“I was at the Gala, yeah! You’re Sparks, right?” Pinkie inquired.
“I am.” She confirmed. “So, why don’t you tell me about this party you’re planning…” She stepped forward, standing over the party pony.
“Oh, I’m planning a birthday for a friend back home in Ponyville, but I don’t know when his birthday is!” She told the mare. “And Brightling here is the only pony who knows when it is! So I’m asking him!”
Sparks glowered at her, flaring up the magic in her horn. “You really don’t need that information. You should just go… These parties are a waste of time, anyway…” Her eyes flashed as the magic of her horn intensified.
Pinkie looked into the Unicorn’s eyes, a tinge of green appearing in her own. She tilted her head. “Really?” As the green light expanded, a blue light formed around her. She jumped up to her hooves and started laughing, the encroaching magic shattering. “That’s ridiculous! Everypony loves a good party!”
Sparks stepped back in fear, the magic of her horn dispelled. “What the…?” She looked over at her husband. “Brightling, this pony won’t listen to ‘reason’. Can you escort her out of town, please?”
Brightling scoffed, walking to the door and grabbed Pinkie by the tail with one of his wings and dragging her outside. “Come with me…” Pinkie let out an excited squee of a laugh as they made their way.
“So, you’re gonna tell me when his birthday is, right?” Pinkie asked, getting up and trotting alongside him.
“No.” He said. “You’re going home.”
“Please!” She pleaded again.
“No.”
“Pretty please?”
“No.”
“Pretty please with a cupcake on top?” She leaned in close enough to nearly rub against his cheek.
“I said NO!” He screamed. “And get away from me!” He let go of her tail, turning and galloping off in a random direction. He found himself inside the local bakery, ten blocks away.
“Pleeeeeeeeeeeeease?” Pinkie asked from behind the counter, leaning over to him.
Brightling jumped. “NO!” He ran away again, finding himself on the Pear farm.
“Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaase?” She asked again, this time in a nearby pear tree.
Brightling looked at the pink pony in sheer terror. “NO!” He galloped farther than he ever thought possible, finding himself in the middle of the desert with nopony around for miles.
As the stallion was about to breathe a sigh of relief, Pinkie appeared from under a rock. “Why won’t you tell me?!” She forcefully asked him, putting her front hooves on his shoulders and shaking him.
“HOW ARE YOU DOING THIS?!” he yelled, confused and scared by the antics of the crazed mare.
“Doing what?” Pinkie wondered.
“How are you able to just appear anywhere like this!” He elaborated, spreading his forelegs wide.
“Oh, that? I don’t know!” She told him.
“HOW IN EQUESTRIA CAN YOU NOT KNOW THAT?” He shook her in the same way she had shaken him. “YOU’RE THE ONE DOING IT!”
“That’s simple! I don’t know because the author doesn’t know!” She booped him on the nose. “Silly!”
Brightling’s jaw hung open, his eyes twitching madly. He hung his head, letting out a loud groan of defeat. “Fine…” He looked her in the eye, scowl more fierce than ever. “I’ll tell you what you want to know. But only as you’re leaving!”
“YYYYYYYYYYYYYYES!” Pinkie cried, jumping into the air. She rushed over to a nearby cactus, pulling out her party cannon and firing off a shot.
Finally back in Vanhoover, Brightling and Pinkie walked along to the train station in silence. Brightling took looks over at the bubbly mare, trying to make sense of her… self. There wasn’t a single thing about her he could understand.
Finally, he decided to break the silence. “So… Since you’re his friend… And you’re here… I have a question.” He started. Pinkie looked at him happily, opening her ears up to him. “How is he doing?”
“You mean Boltsinger?” Pinkie queried as she bounced along.
“Yeah… Just because I don’t like him, that doesn’t mean I don’t get curious.” he admitted. “He’s my brother, after all. So, how has his life been?”
“Oh! Well, before we all met him, he was flying all over Equestria, helping ponies wherever he went! Then he SLAMMED into a wall in Canterlot and met Princess Luna! And then she said that he needed friends, and then the Princesses introduced him to Twilight and the rest of us! And then a bunch of stuff happened, and Twilight made him feel super amazing! Then there was the Gala, but you were there for that! And then he came back, and then he and Twilight kissed, and then--”
“Wait, stop right there…” Brightling interrupted, putting his hoof on Pinkie’s mouth. “They kissed. Like, what couples do?” Pinkie nodded, the hoof still preventing her from speaking. “But isn’t she a Princess?” Pinkie nodded more, the stallion’s hoof falling away. “And he’s been helping ponies with their problems the entire time before he met you?”
“He still goes out and does that!” She clarified. “You see, whenever somepony needs him, his wings get all stiff and lightning-y and his Cutie Mark crackles and whips around, and then he just shoots off like a bolt of lightning! Then he stays there for as long as it takes to get the job done! His talents are always just the right thing for the ponies he meets, and then he comes right back home!”
Brightling stopped, bringing his hoof up to his forehead. “Doesn’t sound all that monstrous to me…” His eyes flashed green for a second, causing him to start moving once more beside the pink pony. They made their way to the train station, where Pinkie bought her ticket for the next train to Ponyville. “Okay… Here’s the thing you wanted to know…” He leaned in next to Pinkie’s ear, whispering the information to her.
Pinkie’s face lit up as the news hit her. “But… That’s the day that... “ Before she could finish her thought, the whistle blew along with the announcement for everypony to come aboard. “Oh! That’s my train! Thanks, Brightling!” She ran onto the train, taking a seat as it started on its way.
Brightling sat on the boarding platform, looking confused as the green flash shined in his eyes a few more times. “Same to you, Pinkie Pie.” He said, getting up and turning to walk home. “Thanks.”
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Fourth wal breaking to that degree is, in my opinion, tacky and should be avoided. The bit with Pinkie jumping town to hound the brother... believable for her character, and it does give some more content to the plot, but yeah. Fourth wall breaking was kinda meh to see.
I liked this :P the whole fourth wall thing......very Pinkie
Why not just ask grand pear and see if he knows?
There's a reason I rarely write pinkie pie in my stories...
She scares me! Like, seriously, she's liable to break the fourth wall and try to write the story herself!
Yeah you can't use magic like that on Pinkie it doesn't work