• Published 11th Jan 2018
  • 4,372 Views, 290 Comments

The 4000 Year Old Virgin - Harmlesskitten13



4000 years isn't too old to still be a virgin...right?

  • ...
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Chapter 4

Changeling culture is one of modest impermanence. While some would say that this stifles creativity, because art that does not exist cannot inspire future sculptors and painters, it appears to do the opposite. Compared to Equestria, there are few lasting created works. This is due in part to the ever-shifting physical nature of the changeling itself. The overwhelming majority of humble statues or reliefs usually only last a few weeks at most, and are often broken down to create something new. However, despite popular belief, this actually makes the culture vibrant and interesting. One must quickly snap a picture or sketch a drawing of any works of art, otherwise they may miss it forever. As the same materials are used over and over, it reflects the culture as one of constant change, yet somehow staying solid and unyielding. - The Rise of the Changeling Queendom, Vol. I by Works Cited


It had taken a few tries, but after an hour or so, Chrysalis had written a true love letter. After examining the three boxes, the two royals decided on the proper wording and challenge. The letter itself was simultaneously short but sweet. It got her point across, but left something to the imagination. As her mother penned the final draft in calligraphy, the young Queen sat anxiously. Was this...was this really happening? Was she, after so many centuries, going to finally do the thing? She bit her lip. What if she was no good at it? Sure, she had seen it done plenty of times in her, uh, private orb collections, but actually being the perpetrator? What if Twilight Sparkle rejected her? She couldn't take that. And shame on that pony for doing it! You know, it takes a lot to put yourself out there, to make yourself vulnerable, and for her to not even give Chrysalis a chance? Then, whatever, fine. She doesn't NEED Twilight Sparkle! She's fat anyway! Then again, she might say yes. She hated to admit it, but as irritating as her mother was about all this, she did know a thing or two. The letter was good, so what if she says yes?

Well, then you do the do. That's all there is to it, right? After all, it appeared that the purple pony Princess had had a few lovers before, so maybe she could...kind of take the lead. Or maybe the intelligence was wrong. Maybe she was as much of a virgin as Chrysalis was, and they'd both be new to it! That would be better. That way, if she screwed up something, Twilight wouldn't know. But then again, the intelligence was never wrong, so the Princess probably knew what she was doing. Wait. What if she knew what she was doing a little too well? As in, what if she saw her...ovi...and thought it was too small? That's even worse than being rejected outright. Would she laugh? She'd probably laugh, the jerk. Whatever.

"Chryssi? I'm done." the elder Queen stated, holding up the letter as proof. Unlike her daughter, Dominatus had always had beautiful script, and this was no different. Written in a royal purple ink on a piece of pale pink parchment, the prose was perfectly centered within the page. At the bottom was a facsimile of Chrysalis' autograph. Setting it aside to dry, the Queen of Queens walked over to her contemplative daughter.

"I must concede, dear, that this is not an ideal situation. If you had done this on your own, say, two thousand years ago, you would have been spoiled for choice. There was nobility as far as the eye could see, and it was all for the taking. But, that's neither here nor there. Now that the letter is done, we must talk about your gift." she said, stifling a yawn. Her daughter winced.

"Mom, I really don't want to do the whole picture thing. It's...it's humiliating." she said, choosing to not meet her mother's gaze.

"Oh?" her mother replied. "And what would you recommend, then?"

Chrysalis hesitated. She didn't think her mother would actually hear her out, so she hadn't planned that far ahead. "Uh...I don't know. Maybe...flowers?" she offered. Her mother scoffed.

"Flowers? Really? For a Princess? Don't ponies eat those on sandwiches? Why not just offer a clod of dirt? It's essentially the same thing." she jeered. "I think not. The more I've reflected on it, the more I agree with it: a set of boudoir photos are something that are synchronously risque, yet endearing. It shows a willingness to be vulnerable, while also being far better than flowers." she emphasized with a lower, mocking voice. "And the way we're doing it makes it exceedingly classier than the commoner's way of just going into the bathroom to take a poorly focused shot." the Queen of Queens spat out. "Frankly, I almost wish something like this had been available when I was still in my breeding years. They take far less time than a painting, that's for sure!" she added with a chuckle. "Furthermore, I have already conferred with the Royal Photographer about this." Chrysalis jumped from her chair.

"What?! Why?!" she exclaimed. Her mother waved a disdainful hoof.

"Because I knew that you would sit on your hooves about it until you let another Princess slip away." Chrysalis dejectedly sat down in her chair again.

"That's not what I meant, Mom! I mean, that's a good idea, but that's not what I meant!" she said, gesticulating with her legs. "I don't want the royal photographer to see me...like that! I don't even want Twilight Sparkle to see me like that!"

Her mother let out an angry sigh. "So you would prefer that my own drones think me a liar? You would prefer that Mu-6412 have wasted all his time and energy in making you lingerie, which when I checked earlier, was nearly completed? You would prefer that the Intelligence drones have wasted their time in compiling all the information on your Princess? Is that it?" she said, towering over her daughter. "Believe it or not, being a Changeling Queen is more than just feeding on love all day! It requires you to be willing to sacrifice, and for your actions to give your drones reason to respect you unconditionally! Now, are you going to, as usual, snatch defeat from the jaws of victory simply because you felt embarrassed? Or are you going to act like an actual Changeling Queen for once, and rise to the occasion? Hmm?"

Chrysalis shrank from her mother's outburst. "I'm...I'm going to rise to the occasion." she meekly said. In an instant, her mother's dour face turned to one of contentment.

"Good to hear." She turned away from her daughter, and charged her horn. Poofing away each box back to their rightful place, she yawned. "Goodness gracious me, I'm tired. This was quite the day!" As she went to turn back to face her daughter, she sighed. For some reason, she found herself unable to. "Chrysalis," she said softly, "I know this has been hard. For both of us. But...all good things are. Trust me, this will be worth the effort. And at the end of it all, I know you'll prove yourself to be the strong, capable Queen and daughter that I know you can be. You just need to...apply yourself, is all. You have so much potential, and it burns me up to see you waste it. If it feels like I push you too hard, or I'm harsh to you while nice to others, it's only because I know you can take it. You're strong-willed, beautiful, and you'll be a fantastic leader someday. And your drones will be just as powerful, because they came from you. You just need to-" Her monologue was cut short by the sound of light snoring. Turning around, she saw her daughter's head on the table. Her breathing was slow, and her crown had fallen off. Had she heard anything she had said? Dominatus gave a motherly smile. Picking the young Queen up in her magic, she left the throne room, and took her daughter to bed. It had been a long day, after all.


Comfort. Warmth. Soft sheets, and a firm pillow. Those were the only thoughts in the mind of the young Queen, as she heard a knocking on her door. Opening an eye to scan her room, she saw that her mother had not come bursting in as she had the day before. She shut her eye, and turned away from the door, willing the being behind it to go away. Maybe if she fell back into a deep sleep, they'd just leave. The knocking returned, only this time, louder.

"My Queen? I have a message from the Queen of Queens for you!" came a muffled voice from behind the door. They knocked again. And again. Rising with a groan, Chrysalis got out of bed with a yawn. The knocking continued as she stretched, before she finally walked over to the entryway, still half-asleep. Opening the door, she found Alpha-6820 holding a scroll sealed with her mother's royal insignia. Mumbling a terse thanks, she took the scroll and closed the door. Smacking her lips, she threw the note on the desk and plopped down on the stool. She broke the wax seal and unrolled the letter from her mother.

Chryssi,
You have an appointment with the Royal Photographer at
1300 today. Please be on time. I will see you later tonight
for dinner.

Mom

She sighed. She didn't really want to do this. But she wanted her hive. Scratch that. She needed her hive. She could feel herself get weaker by the day. Yesterday she could barely use a simple telekinetic spell. In a few days, her abilities to shapeshift could disappear. It was either this, or...starve to death? Would her mother really let her do that? No, she wouldn't. She had never known a Queen of Queens to let a Queen die, but then again, no Queen had ever gone as long as she had without hatching her own eggs. No, she wouldn't let her starve to death; after all, she was the future of the species! But that didn't mean that she wouldn't torment her endlessly, or let her suffer, all for the sake of 'building character' or whatever. Chrysalis looked at the little clock on her desk. 1230 hours. She huffed. Running a brush through her mane, she stood up from the desk and left her room.


A small, nameless changeling peeked his head around the corner. Nobody coming, good. He darted down the hall, reaching a T-junction. Looking left, then right, he saw it: the entrance to the Royal Photographer's studio, or as it said above the door, "CHANGELING SCRIPT HERE." Slinking along the wall, the drone came to the entrance, and knocked three times. An eternity later, the door opened, and the drone practically fell inside.

"Excuse me! This room is for royalty ONLY! GET OUT!" the proprietor yelled. The drone slammed the door shut. As the room's owner reached for an alarm, he was blinded by a flash. The drone had changed into Chrysalis, and she was moving her head back and forth with a frantic look on her face.

"There's, uh, there's nobody else here, right? Just us?" she asked, her voice shaky. The drone squinted at the Queen.

"No, it's just us. I am under strict orders from the Queen of Queens that no one else is to enter while you are here." Chrysalis breathed a sigh of relief. "Also, you're three minutes late." The Queen rolled her eyes.

"I'm just...fashionably late. Now, can we get this over with? Where do I stand?" she asked, looking around. The drone sighed.

"First things first: the Queen of Queens left a package for you early this morning. It's over there." he pointed. "Also, I still need to set a few things up for the shoot. Please excuse me."

Chrysalis walked over to where the drone had pointed. As expected, there was a red box, tied with ribbon in a corner. On top of the box was a scroll. Like before, it was sealed in wax with her mother's insignia. Opening the scroll, she read:

Chryssi,

Remember to project confidence.
Nothing's sexier than a confident
mare.

Mom

P.S. Make sure your ovi is visible, sweetie

She snorted. Untying the ribbon, she lifted the lid to see a small card above tissue paper. "Another note? Seriously?" she muttered.

Go get 'em, tiger.
You got this!

Mu

She smiled at the little card. Maybe Mu wasn't that bad. Pulling back the tissue paper, her eyes widened. What lay before her was either a work of art, or a travesty. She never understood fashion, so she couldn't tell. A royal green torsolette met her eyes, seemingly form-fitted for her. It featured a golden filigree depicting vines, starting near her stifle, and curling up and around where her barrel would go. Underneath it was a negligee made of solid gold chain mail with a pure black furred top. She held it up to the light. Somehow, someway, that little clothier had managed to make solid metal appear translucent. The Queen shook her head in disbelief. Underneath that was a pair of fine silk stockings. Impossibly thin, they still appeared to be extremely well-made.

"My Queen?" the photographer asked. Chrysalis yelped, and shoved everything back in the box. "The stage is ready."

The royal took a breath. "Is there...is there anywhere that I can change? Into clothes?" she asked. The drone rolled his eyes and pointed to a blind behind her. Nodding her head, she walked around it. She gave the container an uneasy look, unsure of what to do. With a sigh, she opened the box again. Which goes on first? The green thing or the gold thing? Maybe the stockings? No, not the stockings, those probably go on last. She picked up the green thing, turning it over and over. How in the world does this go on? Oh, the laces probably go in the back, right? Taking off her crown, she sat on her rump, and pulled the torsolette over her head. Wait. How the heck are you supposed to tighten-ah. Sensing a body within it, the green clothing magically laced up the back. Not too tight, not too loose, just the right fit. Pulling the stockings on her rear legs, they neatly buckled to the torsolette. She then placed the negligee over her. Turning around to view a mirror, she balked. No way. There is NO WAY she could look this good. The green in the main piece of lingerie complimented her eyes, and the negligee added just the right amount of sparkle. The stockings weren't really her thing, but darn it all if she didn't look good in them!

The Queen could feel herself warming up to the idea of this whole dirty photo thing. Maybe it wouldn't be so bad, right? After all, this getup DID make her feel more confident! Maybe I won't gut that little clothing drone after all. she thought with a smile. She walked from behind the blind, replaced her crown, and entered into the room where the photographer was waiting. The room was poorly lit, with a single light tinting the stage. On it was a pile of various pillows, some heart-shaped, others simple circles. "Um, isn't it kind of dark for a photo shoot?" she asked, walking over to the stage.

"Light isn't your ally." the drone muttered.

"What?" Chrysalis asked, her ears perking up.

The photographer cleared his throat. "I said that low lighting is normal for these kinds of shoots, my Queen." Apparently satisfied with the answer, Chrysalis stood on the stage, stock still and unsure what to do.

"Do I...do I just sit on these pillows or something?" she asked, gesturing towards the pile. The photographer pulled his head back from the camera.

"Lay on your back." The Queen did as she was told. He snapped a few pictures. "Good. Now put your forelegs behind your head. Good." He snapped a few more pictures. He continued his instructions, with the Queen following, and before long the photoshoot was nearly complete. It seemed with every picture, Chrysalis could feel her mood, and confidence, improving. Maybe this wasn't such a bad idea after all. Not that she'd ever admit it to her mother, of course. As he neared the end of his roll, the photographer stopped. Clearing his throat, he walked from around the camera. The Queen looked up at him with a smile and dreamy eyes.

"Yes, what would you like now?" she asked. The drone took a heady breath.

"My Queen..." he paused. "Your highness, the Queen of Queens has requested that I make sure to get a few close-up pictures of you in your lingerie...with your...um...ovipositor. Out."

Suddenly Chrysalis didn't feel so confident anymore.

She sighed. She was kind of hoping that she could get away with NOT doing this part. "Yeah, listen, about that...I'm not very comfortable with that, you know? Is there any way you could just, you know, say you ran out of film or something?" she offered, slowly covering herself with the pillows. For some reason, she felt very exposed right now.

The drone bowed his head. "I'm sorry, your majesty, but the Queen of Queens explicitly told me to do so. Also, I cannot lie to her, as it goes against everything I believe in." Chrysalis huffed.

"Seriously? Okay, whatever. Fine. Jus-just give me a minute. To get ready." she closed her eyes and tried to go to her happy place. The photographer stood there uncomfortably for a few minutes before breaking the silence.

"Um, my Queen?" Chrysalis' eyes flashed open, and she let out an irritated puff of air.

"Yeah, what is it? You're breaking my concentration here."

The drone, refusing to look the Queen in the eyes, slowly backed away. "My Queen, if it pleases you, I'm going to leave for a little bit to take care of something while you, uh, you do your thing. I will return." Chrysalis nodded and made a waving motion, shooing him away. As soon as he was gone, she closed her eyes again to fantasize. Normally, these kinds of daydreams came to her easily. Maybe a little too easily, now that she thought about it. But for whatever reason, she was struggling today.

Okay, okay. You can do this. It's just...just your ovi. Your most private area. That you're showing to a drone. So he can take pictures of it. So you can send it to that girl you like. No pressure. Noooooo pressure. Just....think of something hot. Anything. Like, um, the Crimson Ants? Yeah. That lead singer was hot. What was her name? 'Sapphic Undertones' or something? Yeah, I think that was it. Okay, so, um. She's here. With me. Yeah, okay, yeah. She's here with me, and we're...making out? Definitely. Definitely making out. And she reaches her hoof down to my...

Several minutes went by, and she finally gave herself to her fantasy. Deep in thought, she didn't hear the door to the photography studio open and close. Nor did she hear the clip-clop of an approaching figure, bathed in darkness. The figure cleared its throat. Chrysalis remained still, a small smile on her face. The figure cleared its throat again, this time louder. Still the young Queen stayed motionless. The figure let out a sigh, walked over to the camera and snapped a picture. The blinding flash caught Chrysalis off-guard, and her eyes flew open.

"Ack! What, are you back already? Okay, I guess I'm as ready as I'm going to be..." she said, a pillow still covering the lower half of her body. "Now, nobody - and I mean NOBODY - is allowed to see these, alright? Not even the Queen of Queens, and I don't care what she said to you. I get them as soon as they're ready, and nobody else sees them. And if I find out that you've passed them out because she told you to, or whatever, I won't hesitate to throw you to the timberwolves, and I'm not kidding when I say that, got it?" The figure in the shadows nodded. "Okay, here goes. Let's get this over with." she said, removing the pillow. The photographer fiddled with the camera, zoomed in, and took several pictures in rapid fire succession. So much so, that all Chrysalis could see for a moment was spots. She rubbed her eyes as the photographer grunted in approval, removed the camera from its tripod, and left for a back room.

After blinking away the spots, the young Queen closed her eyes and willed herself to be as un-aroused as possible. Every possible unsexy thought she could muster came to mind: EKS-diseased changelings. That stupid pony that had helped topple her last hive. That stupid jerk stallion that Cadance went for instead of her. Her mom's stupid humming. Wait. Her mom's humming? Why would she be thinking of her mom's hum-

"MOM?" she asked, her eyes flying open. Silence. She stood up, her royal jewels now discreetly hidden, and walked towards the back room she had seen the photographer go into. Tip-toeing as quietly as she could, she peeked her head inside. A dark red light illuminated the room, and she could see a figure moving from table to table. Dipping sheets in one chemical, then another. "Hey, uh. Drone?" she ventured. The figure jolted, and turned around.

"Y-yes, my Queen? What can I do for you?" the drone asked.

Chrysalis sighed. "Oh, nothing. Just making sure of something. Remember what I said about those pictures. I don't want anyone seeing them but me. And I guess you." Leaving the drone to his work, she returned to the blind, removed her clothes, and placed them as neatly as she could in the box. Picking it up and heading to the door, she stopped. Was that her mother's pheromones she could smell? No drone could put out that scent, that's for certain. Maybe it's from when she was there earlier. Yeah. That must be it. Feeling uneasy, she flashed back into a nameless drone, and poked her head out the door. She found herself fortunate again, as the hallways were empty. She stole away into the halls, and ran back to her room, box in tow, as fast as she could.


The rest of the day went rather smoothly for the young Queen. That may have been because she spent the rest of it in her room, listening to music, but hey, smooth is smooth, right? She found herself so enveloped in the beats pulsing in her head, she lost track of time. Glancing over at her clock, she cursed under her breath. 2203 hours. She was late for dinner. Taking the needle out of the record, she removed her head phones and twisted her neck from side to side. She always loved the pop-popping sound it made. If only she could make it do that just before she fought someone. That'd be so cool.

She trudged her way down the halls, and entered into the throne room. Like the night before, she found her mother sitting at the table. There were two bowls of soup on the table, but that's not what caught her attention. What she focused on was that her mother appeared to be perusing a stack of what appeared to be photographs. Her eyes went wide. If those are what I think those are, I'm going to straight-up MURDER that drone! she thought. She walked over to the table as calmly and nonchalantly as she could, and sat down. Her mother didn't acknowledge her arrival. She loudly cleared her throat. Still nothing.

"Hey, Mom. Whatcha got there?" she finally asked, trying to keep the panic out of her voice. Her mother didn't look up.

"You're thirty-five minutes late, you know." she said, flipping to another print. "We eat dinner at 2130 hours. It's been that way since before you were hatched. It's unbecoming of a Queen to be so late." Chrysalis rolled her eyes.

"Yeah yeah, sorry. But you didn't answer my question - what are you looking at?" she asked. Her mother flicked her eyes up, and gave a devious smile.

"Oh, just some pictures of my beautiful daughter. Why?" she said, her voice dripping with mischief. Chrysalis slammed her hoof down on the table, clattering the dishes.

"I TOLD THAT DRONE I'D KILL HIM IF HE GAVE THOSE TO ANYONE BUT ME!" she shouted, raising up. Her mother furrowed her brow.

"Excuse me, you WILL NOT threaten my drones!" she replied. Chrysalis gave the most menacing look she could in return.

"He specifically disobeyed my orders! He must be punished! And if you won't, I will! I'm going to rip him limb from limb and wear his guts around my neck!" she retorted. Turning around, she began to storm off, only to find herself walking in place. She looked around, and unsurprisingly, discovered she was being held back by her mother's red glow.

Dominatus stood from her chair, and walked over to the immobile Queen. "As I said before: you will not threaten my drones. I understand that you told Lambda-2319 that you would quite literally 'throw him to the timberwolves,' which you will also NOT do. Understand?" Chrysalis sneered and turned away from her mother. "Hey!" she shouted, "Maybe you've forgotten a few things, so I will happily re-enlighten you: one, you DO NOT threaten any drones that are not yours! We already have enough enemies out there, we don't need infighting to weaken us! And seeing as not only is this my hive and my rules, but also since I was the one who laid his egg, hatched him, and raised him, Lambda-2319 is by all measures and standards MY drone. Ergo, you WILL NOT threaten him. Two, you seem to have forgotten the chain of command here. While you may be a Queen, and the drones must do what you say, I am the QUEEN OF QUEENS. That puts ME over YOU. Therefore, any and all orders that you give can be contradicted by me, and there's nothing you can do about it but gnash your teeth. Third, you can't fight in here! This is the throne room! Fourth and finally, it's dinner time, and that is not the time for arguing." She began walking back with a less-than-happy daughter in tow, and placed her in her chair. Taking a calming breath, she continued. "And besides, you have nothing to be ashamed of. These pictures are delightful. You look gorgeous in your courtship gear, and you should be proud of the job the photographer did. And, even though I didn't have to, I used a memory wipe spell on him anyway. For all intents and purposes, he has no recollection of the last 24 hours. You're welcome."

Chrysalis gave a skeptical glare at her mother. "You...you did? So he doesn't remember that I was wearing something incredibly embarrassing? What about the negatives?" Her mother waved a dismissive hoof.

"I took everything. The developed pictures, the negatives, the two notes you left behind, everything. He will never know what he did. Right now, nobody but the two of us even know these exist. I promise." she replied. Her daughter's face noticeably softened.

"You know, you could have just said that to begin with. You didn't have to go all crazy on me." Chrysalis said, picking up her bowl. Her mother gave an indignant look and opened her mouth to respond, but stopped herself. Shaking her head, she picked up a spoonful of her meal.

"Like I said," she finally replied, "you do look very pretty in these pictures. To be honest, I'm tempted to do a photo shoot like this myself." she said, stroking her chin. "Maybe I should have Mu make something similar for me, although I think I'd rather do leather than magicaeferro, and probably gaskin-length boots instead of the stockings. I mean, I know I've still got it. Oooo! Maybe I could pass out calendars of me in it!" Her daughter choked on her soup, setting down the bowl.

"You know, the absolute LAST thing I want to see are dirty pictures of my mom hanging everywhere!" Her mother gave a chuckle.

"Come on! It could be a morale-booster for the hive!" she replied with a crooked smile. Her daughter glared at her in disbelief. "Oh, fine. But I may still have one made for me at least, because I bet I'd be an absolute bombshell!" Chrysalis rolled her eyes.

"Whatever you say, Mom. As long as I never see it." she said, returning to her soup. As she slurped up her meal, a thought occurred to her. "Um, Mom?" After taking a dainty sip from her spoon, the elder Queen looked up.

"Hey Mom, where were you all day?" she asked. The Queen looked thoughtful for a moment.

"Oh, I woke up at oh-five-hundred as always. I picked up and dropped off your courtship gear, then the usual hours upon hours of interdepartmental meetings, then a little time spent in the archives, then I picked these up, and now I'm here. Why?" her mother responded.

Trying to appear as calm and collected as possible, Chrysalis looked off to the side. "I was just wondering if you happened to, I don't know, stop by while the photographer was taking those pictures." Dominatus smirked.

"Now why would I do that? You've made it perfectly clear you didn't want anyone else to see you in these clothes." she gestured to the stack of prints next to her. "Which is silly, as you look absolutely darling in them. Why do you ask?"

Looking back at her mother, she could feel her composure slipping. "Just curious, is all. You've been pretty involved in all this, so I figured you'd want to be a part of that, too." The elder Queen tsked.

"Now, I just told you my day. Was 'spy on my daughter' anywhere in there?" she asked with a smug look on her face. "Besides, that's a silly question to ask. A better one is 'Mommy, how did those pictures of me turn out?' or 'How did you get so smart about these things?'" Figuring that she wouldn't be able to get a straight answer, the young Queen decided to drop it. Perhaps it was best not to know, anyway.

"Okay, that last one was a dumb question, but I am a little curious about how I look in them." Chrysalis responded, getting up from her chair.

"Like I said, you look adorable! Take this one, for example!" her mother said, holding up a print. It had the young Queen on her back with a laughing smile. Her rear legs were together and high in the air, and she held a heart-shaped pillow. "This one is cute, too." she said, holding up another. It was a close-up shot, with Chrysalis laying on her stomach, and her face being supported by her forelegs. She had a demure smile, her eyes had a slight sparkle to them, and her crown was cocked to one side. As the two looked through the photos, Chrysalis couldn't help but feel, well, sexy. It was a new feeling for the Queen, although she'd never admit it.

"And of course, we can't forget the coup de grace!" Dominatus said, holding up the picture that had inspired this whole thing. It was not unlike a carriage wreck: you didn't want to stare, but you couldn't look away. Every second you spent studying it, you found new details to focus on. Some good, some bad, some ugly.

And suddenly Chrysalis didn't feel so sexy anymore.

"Mom, please don't make me send that to Sparkle. It's...it's demeaning." she begged. Her mother tsked.

"Honey, baby, relax. According to our research, the entire point of sending this is to entice your potential mate with how well you're endowed! I guarantee you, this purple pony Princess will take one look at it, and be ready to pounce on you! Mark my words! And besides, I think I know the perfect way to present these!" she said, raising her eyes in thought. "Now don't you worry your pretty little head about this. I promise that I will make everything as classy as I can. Momma will take care of it. Besides, it's time for dessert! It's your favorite: chilled lust with a hint of grenadine and a few sprigs of mint!" She poofed the pictures out of the room, and called for the kitchen drones, who arrived immediately with the frozen concoction.

"But-but-but I really don't think it's a good idea to send that, Mom!" Chrysalis whined. Her mother took a bite of her dessert, gave a satisfied grunt, then spoke.

"No buts, Chryssi. Trust me on this; she will LOVE it!"

Author's Note:

Another chapter down! That calls for another Dorkalis picture! I hope you liked this chapter, 'cause we're about to go off the deep end here in a chapter or two. That's right, I'm talkin' Grade A shipping content here! CanonxCanon! Maybe even CanonxOC! Who knows! I'm givin' out wings!

As always, if you liked this chapter (or story), feel free to tell me! If you hate it, all I ask is that you tell me in haiku form. And if you're indifferent to it, give me the heartiest "meh" you can muster.

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