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Hey, you!
It's been awhile, hasn't it? I was hoping to say hello this weekend. Meet me at 2 o'clock this Saturday evening at Canterlot Castle if you're up for it. Dress warmly, come alone, and bring stories!
—Lily
"Solid tragedy. This is criminally underrated."
—PresentPerfect
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That was a really emotional story. And such a sad ending...
8705246
Thanks for reading!
When she said it was a wedding, I was starting to wonder if this wasn't set before the changeling invasion. What a reveal nevertheless!
Solid tragedy. This is criminally underrated.
8774387
Thanks for stopping by, PP. Always glad to have you as a reader.
I don't know what to say... It's like a piece of my heart has just been ripped out. Tragic
8784423
*hugs* thanks for stopping by.
I had the thought that this is a very personal story, and even if it isn't, it absolutely feels that way. Well done.
Was the very end of this chapter the first time the main characters gender was mentioned?
The dialogue, the emotions, every interaction, seemed to be between mares. This changes the subtext of every word that has come before, and undermines all of the character building you've done up to this point.
I will second 8774386 that the setup and reveal were both well done.
9005313
It sounded like it was between two mares?
9005384
It absolutely did. I would have described the main character as "catty," right up until the word "him" about 300 words from the end of the story that reveals Streak to be a stallion.
I really liked this story. Good use of foreshadowing. I was surprised a few times and was always able to think back and say, "oooooh, that makes sense!"
My only issue was that the main characters gender was never specified until the end of the story, and that really threw me for a loop. The whole time, I'd been reading Streak as a mare.
This was very much a character piece, and it was done well. Two flawed characters, both viewed through the eyes of the bitter one. Both wearing masks, and both uncomfortable with who they are.
A pleasant read, for sure.
9005499
Well, guys can be catty too
But that's interesting insight, Hap. Thanks for sharing the interpretation—the gender of the character was certainly a difficult aspect when I wrote this story. Thanks for stopping by, and see you in the writeoff!
This is something I have to see every single day in so many people. It's starting to seem like an affliction that just grabs a lot of folks and never lets them go, shaping them into this horribly, painfully normal bunch of bleh that just... does exactly this. Normally, this is something I see idealized as 'contentment' and what someone might want to aspire for. It's a theme I'll see often in ponyfic too, and to stumble across one of those few stories that points this out is a wonderful surprise. I'm sure this will be a good one.
The indirect liveliness of Lily, who perhaps wish to bring adventure into the everyday, and attention to detail in here are really great.
A pony who loathes Canterlot so is incredibly surprising to read, and so is their perspective on the city's very decor.
Not sure I quite get her point of view, but that's from someone who has maintained and held many fake friendships throughout my years.
I like the sudden drama, the reveal, and the spontaneous element to this little every day adventure. I do, however, feel I was misled by the tags, because using the 'other' tag in place of a certain' unicorn's didn't feel like it was actually hiding anything when I could have gone into this and simply assumed I was reading about two OCs, for example, with only a slight tag change and the mystery would still be intact. It also doesn't help potential fans of the character find this story.
9005313 No, Streak was mentioned as male before, as I recall. Though, I'm not sure what led you think that he was female. Without the mentions of him being a stallion, I'm sure most people would have read the character either way, but it doesn't change the story to have their sex be reversed.
God, that's a fantastic ending, and something so totally plausible to happen than another story that attempts to pull a cheap fairy tale-esque closing for the happy ending crusader types. Very well done! It's a nice, bitter, and somewhat enchanting little piece.
9080610
See, I went back and looked, and couldn't find any indications that it was a male character.
9080616
Thanks, Ice! Glad you found and enjoyed this one; it's really gotten zero traction on this site for some reason.
9080623
I could've sworn there was. My mistake.
9080964
Thanks for writing this! I'm glad I found it. Might blog about it or dump it in a server or two to give it Love. Though, changing the tags to a character that people can search for more easily when they want stories about her could help.
9081011
Oh, thanks a lot, but there's certainly no obligation. It's enough that you've read it.
And to your idea: You know what, why not? It's been live long enough. Let's see what happens.
9081242
Sticking it in a few more groups would really help get the ball rolling for that experiment.
This is indeed criminally underrated.
Oh well. At least it's not inherently tied to MLP, so you can fairly easily rewrite it as an original story and submit to a journal or something.
9165081
Thanks so much for stopping by and for leaving a comment. Big ups!
I'm gonna be depressed after this because this could seriously happen to me later, with how the broken remnants of my current relationship are faring.
Ouch. Just - it was so painful. Ouch, just ouch. I wonder how this story is so Celestia-damned underrated.
9236479
Thank you for reading
Nice story ever. I was attracted here by the Chinese edition. is someone translating your fic?
9327854
I did receive a message once from somebody looking to translate my work to Chinese! Nice to hear it's out there somewhere.
Thanks for stopping by!
My friend, you are cut from a different cloth. Very underrated story.
9451041
Thank you so much for reading and commenting
8774386
Yeah, I went there with it too. But that it was their wedding? Took me by surprise.
Ouch.
The narrating character is obviously in the wrong here... but it’s such a sad tale for them. They’ve lived with bitterness in their heart for so long that they became what they beheld in others, and are now so blind that they cannot even see when things have changed or when kindness and an offer at reconnection are offered. This is Darth Plagious levels of tragedy.