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Over the months they've been together, Rarity and Fluttershy have only grown closer in their burgeoning relationship. But whatever the happiness they've found with each other, in their growth, there's somepony they've left behind. Somedragon they've left behind.
First in the Flarity "O" Series, successor to the "L" Series.
Obsolete > O—— > O——
Edited by Void Whisperer and Eloquence. Proofread by Steel Resolve.
Cover art by Nova Quill.
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Then Discord went on this little rampage
Made Spikes greed stunt look like urban renewal.....
Needless to say Rarity's a dragon now.
Ouch.
Maybe a bit too thick at the beginning, but overall this was a delightfully awkward and unpleasant conversation.
I can really sympathize with Spike here. Rarity has definitely messed up this time around.
Spike, if Rarity thinks your true love for her was nothing more than a crush (and yet she kept on encouraging it), you're absolutely justified in saying that.
Is this story going to be entirely from Spike's POV?
8634149
Forgive me, but Rarity is utterly at fault for not feeling the same way as Spike? And thinking that a minor's attraction to her was little more than a crush, and thus treating it as such?
No. Just no.
This would be the equivalent of someone being straight and in their twenties and having a fourteen-year-old of the same gender having a crush on them. Is that person at fault for not being attracted to someone who is not in their age range or sexual preference? Hardly.
Not to say Rarity isn't without fault here and due for the verbal smackdown. I will agree that she goaded Spike's crush on far more than she should have. And I have many personal issues with how she treats the little guy, especially in the earlier seasons. (There's a reason it took me a long, long time to even like the character.) But calling Spike's crush true love is a stretch at best.
Wonderfully done, I really feel for all sides of the equation here.
Seriously, poor Spike. First loves are brutal.
8634250
It might be love, only the showrunners know. If he doesn't know what true love is, I certainly have my doubts Rarity in the show does either.
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I don't think that Rarity even did anything wrong during this encounter. I sympathize with Spike, but Rarity didn't even really unintentionally condescend to him here, she was being kind and generous. She saw he was feeling bad, worse than she had hoped, and was comforting him.
About the only time that she stumbles is when he asks why she encouraged him and she sorta "realizes" she had been doing so.
It's a pity Spike got angry because things were going very well. Better, even, than the usual "oh Spike got over it isn't he so mature." He cries. He feels like his world is over. Even if it isn't, even if in time I want to see him accept it and move on, I don't want him to immediately be flipped to that, because if you're disappointed by your crush you feel bad. You don't just flip to "okay" because you want to be okay.
8634250
I don't really believe Rarity is Spike's true love (there are many other characters I'd rather ship Spike with), I'm just sort of feeding Spike's point of view here where he seems to think that. (So I'm not entirely serious here.) I probably should have put that phrase in quotes or something, then you might not have to rant.
This is interesting to say the least. I can't really take side about this since I think both sides are right and wrong in this. Spike of course shouldn't have blown up like he did. But I think that was a LONG time coming. There is noway it would go so smoothly after so long of this built up and desire he has held for years. Rarity even tho she didn't outright lead him on she DID lead him on and she knows it which is why she couldn't outright deny it. Why she did when she said it herself from the very start known that she felt this way is beyond me and honestly I think that could have very well been the thing to solve all of this if she just did what she should have done and told him this long ago. I also wonder about Shy. I mean how does she feel about all of this, she could very well be blaming herself for this or at least be feeling very down about it. I don't know how honestly close she is with Spike since the amount of interaction between the two of them has been very small over the years so how close are those two REALLY? And even more so since she and Rarity got to see a peak at the fact Spike is a dragon and not a child like honestly they were treating him like. I think Spike need to leave for a bit. I really think some distance from them would be the best. He should contact Ember and see about using this as a chance to learn more about Dragons and getting away from the two of them. I think something could be that Dragons feel harder than maybe ponies do. I mean Dragons are magical creatures heavily influenced by their desires and instincts. So if he became attracted to her he would be insanely loyal to her to a fault and wouldn't just fall out of love without a reason. So finding this out would hurt alot for him due to this is him losing something he treasured which would explain why it kept getting worse and worse in his mind as he kept thinking about what he lost.
Anyway great chapter, can't wait to see more
At last, I'm glad to see my favorite Flarity series continued. Added to Tracking list before I even started reading, heh.
Personally, I find myself sympathizing with Rarity more even though she is at fault here, too. I always viewed Spike's attraction as a childish crush; if Rarity hooked up with someone else, sure, he'd be sad but it would be nothing a tub or two of ice cream can't fix. Pretty much everything else about the conflict has been said before me. Good job so far.
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Yep, it's all Spike first person in this story.
8635624
Glad to have you back! The drama has only begun.
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Everybody has a different opinion and they're taking different sides and they're discussing things but they're being civil about and I love it! Part of the difficulty in writing a nuanced conflict line is the fact that a conflict should be two-sided. An antagonist never thinks that they are one, and Rarity certainly doesn't think she's a villain. (Neither does Spike, for that matter.) Of course, it's never a problem throwing characters into a gauntlet; the problem is how to get them out.
I have to side with Spike on this one. Rarity had plenty of time, she could have told him that she was only seen him as a friend or even as a little brother figure but did not. If she kept on winking and using his nickname "Spiky-wikey" on him through the time she was either building a relationship with Fluttershy or another pony else. She was just using him, she knew about his feelings as it is painfully obvious every time they have seen each other, she would ask him to do something labor intensive from just using a little eye wink here or his nickname would have been used so she could get a reaction from him. Fluttershy could have also said something to Spike about the relationship she was with Rarity but did not. If we are talking about age here, my guess is that Spike (Physically) might be a couple of years younger than the than Twilight but (Mentally) older than CMC. We are not giving enough information regarding the norms (sociology) of either the Equestrian or Dragon plus their physiology. It's a kids TV show that is simple, that we all enjoy so we may be over thinking this a bit much. But if you count how many things Spike has done, not only that he lives in a Library with one of the smartest ponies in all Equestria, he holds more responsibilities than he is giving credit for, you could say that he is a bit older and more mature than he leads on. The reason I am saying that he is older than the CMC is that he does not appear or show up at their school. One could say He already has a full-time job, as the Twilights number 1 assistant, who also cleans, cooks and takes care of the library with other minor jobs.
I am so tracking this story, I want to know what happens next!
Spike's painful lesson: the fires of that first love scorned burn the hottest.
Good to see you back and writing your ever-lovingly-crafted horse-words, my friend.
8638506
Not scorned, just unfortunately not reciprocated.
8638430
The problem with just turning him down is that it's very cruel. Rarity knows crushes, she's had a few, if you recall. She knows they feel good, and an eye flutter, a platonic kiss here and there, they cost nothing and make a stallion or dragon feel like a million bits. Plus she's more than a little flattered by the attention. And, well, if he's going to hang around all of the time, he's going to start offering to help with things, and Rarity likes getting help from time to time. There's no malicious intent, just a give and take. She gives him her attention, he gives her his. Her error is in assuming that it's merely a crush, or that assuming a crush is anything less than the all-consuming things she experiences herself.
Fluttershy, if anything, was likely the one who instigated this talk. She actually has learned that at times you need to confront things rather than let them fester forever.
8638593
Scorned/not reciprocated. It still hurts.
8638662
Yes, but in different ways, and one heals a little quicker. If you confess your feelings and are told the other person cares nothing for you, and never will, that's spurned.
If you confess and are told they care about you a great deal, but just don't feel romantic feelings for you, that's not reciprocated.
And it can be hard to care about the difference at the time, but it's an important one if you truly care about the person you confessed to.
8638506
0_o Same to you, dear.
(I really don't understand you most of the time, but it's good to have you back for however long you care to be back.)
I'm kinda hoping for Spike to tell Rarity that she used him and was greedy. Maybe, who knows? I'm interested, I'm just hoping that it ends sadly. I haven't gotten a good sad fic in ages.
How short is this story exactly, cuz that chapter felt kinda...fast.
I like Spike here. He's clearly teetering on the edge of maturity, but there's still some adolescence to work through.
I'm not sure how to feel about round two with Rarity so soon. On the one hand, it's probably not a great idea to let this simmer too long, but Spike's feelings are clearly still raw. If they manage to work through things this quickly, I'll be kinda disappointed.
8640185
It's funny really, isn't it? We normally crave happy endings, generally speaking people do. Sure we love drama and violence and everything in between that comes with the roller coaster of emotions we as humans have, but in the end we want that happy ending usually. Sometimes however we just want things to stay bad. Spike should be mad, he should be pissed, he should be down, and depressed. He's been used and he feels cheated, mistreated, and betrayed and rightfully so. No Rarity doesn't have to love Spike and she doesn't owe it to him, as I'm sure someone would try to use in argument to that rightfully so, but she also didn't have to use him for things or continue to let him think he had a chance(I really think the author did a great job expressing that). And because of what shes done to him, we want him to not do the, "right," thing that leads to the happy ending. We want him to be mad, we want to see him walk away after telling her that what she did was too far, is still too far. We're not ready for things to be okay again, because he shouldn't be. Maybe some day, with some time and some other friends to help him through this darkness, but not now.
In short, I have to agree, I'm not ready for a happy ending and I'm not sure there has to be one here either. Sometimes things are better when they end on a sour note that leaves you thinking instead of making you feel like everything wrapped up and the world is fine and dandy.
I like the way it is going. I do tho feel it isn't far to make Spike hurry back and confront this so quickly. And it doesn't feel for his sake but for Rarity. I mean Spike is what suppose to just look past all of this or just get over this quickly because that is what is convenient for Rarity and Shy. I know that isn't what they want, but that is what they are hoping and trying to make happen. I mean why else would bring him there when the hurt and the scares are still fresh do. He doesn't get a chance to heal and get his feelings in order instead they more or less double team him before he gets a chance to figure out his own feelings and get their own narrative in place to get the forgiveness everything they need. I just can't help but think that sometime things change, and the things a person do has to have a effect that can't be fix or at least quickly. And I think honestly Spike should let that be known he can't fully view Rarity the same way after all of this, I know that wont mean much to her but it would be a start. I know I don't have anything to worry about with the quality of writing so far but I can't help it as a major Spike fan and all lol.
8640243
Nothing wrong with a happy ending, as long as it feels earned. And if the next chapter ends with Rarity and Spike working things out after a single conversation, then I don't think it will.
The key I think is that readers, myself included, often want satisfaction for the injured party, whether that's an apology, validation, retribution, or whatever.
The problem here is that I'm having trouble imagining a satisfying resolution coming from mere conversation at this point. Realistically, Rarity is facing an uphill battle to do something that won't come across as trite or condescending.
8640280
Indeed. It'll be interesting to see where this goes. Hopefully not with her trying to like pawn Spike off on someone else, not really a fan of those "I don't feel the same way Spike but here date this pony/dragon instead!"
8640355
I doubt it'll go that direction. Would be more than a little out of place.
8640355
That would be the height of arrogance. It's a pony, not a consolation prize.
8640280
Honestly, I don't think satisfaction can be had. Validation, certainly. Rarity can see just by how he reacts that she misjudged the depth of his feelings, and can apologize for that. Retribution? For that we'd need to believe that Rarity wronged him purposefully. If we and Spike believe that then no resolution can ever be reached.
I don't know that a happy ending can exist here so much as a bittersweet one. We can maybe reach a point where the two are at least talking, then both can have a long think, and talk again. Gradually, things will improve, but it will take time.
Frankly, at this point Rarity needs to consider Spike's needs over her own "needs." He needs space from her, and to a lesser degree from Fluttershy, as she can only serve to remind Spike of what he can never have. Spike needs to not see either of them for a while, and to be comforted by his other friends; Twilight for sure, but Pinkie Pie, Applejack, even Rainbow Dash can help him to grieve for his unrequited love. But facing Rarity & Fluttershy, mere minutes after the conversation that stabbed him in the heart? That's asking him to accept that knife being shoved right back in, only with a liberal coating of salt this time.
Rarity needs to understand and accept that there is literally nothing she can say or do to help Spike to hurt less, except for giving him ample space to recover. She fears losing his friendship? Tough. Maybe in a few months his heart will have healed enough that it's only a dull throbbing scar, and then he can try to reach out to her, not the other way around. If you're the heart-breaker, and you genuinely care about the heart-broken, you don't get to dictate how fast they heal, if they can at all. And if her folly just cost Rarity and Fluttershy their friendship with Spike, permanently? That's something they need to learn to live with, lest they damage their friendships with Twilight & the rest as well (if they haven't already, once the latter find out about this clusterfuck).
More lesbo ponies well good thing the elements won't work anymore
This is the sentence that broke me.
As much as you want them to be happy, it's forever a needling pain that YOU are not the one making them happy.
Did anyone think of this "You got a Friend in Me" when
I would like to get this out before I start. He is outside, under a tree, I would have expected for Pinkie to jump out really soon or the friendship map was going in high alert, notifying everyone else on the matter of Spike, Fluttershy and Rarity's friendship problems. But this is a story about them three so that's out of this question.
When Fluttershy is asking Spike to come back it feels like she is trying to force a closure between them. The feelings are still raw, they could have cool their heads but not enough to make the right call. I still sympathize with Spike but not sure a can do with Fluttershy. Spike said that it has been going on for years, that would mean that obviously, Fluttershy would have noticed the type of relationship Rarity had with Spike. She also said
then why she didn't tell Rarity to say something sooner? Why not question Rarity's actions towards Spike while they saw each other? Spike could have asked more questions about this issue with Fluttershy but he is hurt, he feels betrayed and all of it is directed towards Rarity. Rarity should not take all the blame, as some of it falls on Spike for not noticing sooner. He was most likely blinded by his feelings towards her.
This is not a story that can end on a happy tone really soon.
8640581
Being his friend and Rarity's doesn't exactly put her in a great position to ask that question. Heck, even when they were dating at first, it would have been pretty awkward to ask if Rarity had even told Spike what was going on.
And which ponies would be better to solve that problem than the one's present? Twilight? Rainbow Dash? Applejack? Pinkie? I can't see any of them being able to offer input that didn't serve to further drive a wedge in between the three involved. Maybe Celestia, since she could offer an outside perspective.
You're right about that. Noone can or should just be happy with these circumstances. At best we can hope for acceptance.
8640425
If Spike's only relationship to Rarity was that of potential suitor, I would say you're right. It's not. He's upset by this revelation, but he would have been upset by any not-him who managed to successfully begin a relationship with Rarity.
Thing is, Spike has had to contend with the idea that Rarity pines after not-hims. The difference here is that he's finally being told that not only has he lost the race, he was too young to even enter yet. But he's making a mistake in his sadness by assuming he was never a contender at all. Much as Rarity could not and should not entertain his advances at his age, that doesn't mean he never had an effect on her. She valued him, she found him cute, and if she hadn't found love, when he was older, that could have developed into something.
And that's going to make him sad for the could have beens, but again, he's dealt with this before. He's been there with ice cream when she was crying over Trenderhoof, that's part of him being a good friend to her. This is another part, being happy for her that she did finally find someone, even if it isn't him.
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8640425
I was not expecting this. Once again, everyone is arguing and having different opinions but being civil about it. I love discussion, don't get me wrong—I just love it a little bit less because you're instead arguing about a pretty major hole in the story, one that I'm responsible for writing in.
I only meant to include three characters; rare is the story I'll write that includes more than that, and I appreciate the complicated interaction dynamic among a small cast. (That, and bringing in external influences can feel like deus ex machina.) Among the three, I couldn't see extra time contributing significant content to the story—it'd just be more Spike moping—or making the resolution any smoother—enough time, and it becomes impossible. The best time to bandage a wound is when it's fresh—not when it's scabbed over and festered.
Obviously, scabs are not relationships. Your arguments are valid, and it pains me that I didn't think about this more while writing. That's my failing. I'm only defending my choices insofar as I'm the writer, and I'm biased; I like what I wrote. I will never ask for your laud, only your eyes. Some of you might be dissatisfied with how quickly the story ends.
The story will conclude in the next chapter (yes, the next chapter). As Steel has said, that doesn't necessarily mean there is a "happily ever after"; the conflict is addressed in such a way that the story is finished. It is not, however, a tragic ending. (I've never been good at writing those.) I can't say much more than that without spoilers.
Thanks for your thoughts!
8640372
It'll be interesting to see how this story ends, regardless. It may be that I'll find it unsatisfying, but that's not a certainty. It's just speculation at this point.
While it's regrettable that Spike is in this kind of mood, and shoving away Fluttershy who just tries to help him (though he later takes her up on her offer, and I'm glad for that), it is understandable why he's feeling this way. I'm unsure of what Rarity can really do at this point. It was hard enough for Fluttershy to get him to see her again, it's gonna be even harder for Rarity to receive Spike's forgiveness.
8640916
I hope we're not stressing you out in any way.
This ending is pretty much what I expected, for better or worse. It's all very sensible and rational, and the ending is basically ideal, under the circumstances.
Which is why it leaves a bad taste in my mouth. There was no tension here, because Spike was always going to make the "right" choice, and let things return to the status quo.
8647631
Well, sure. Because he's Spike, he's not going to abandon his friends and go off into a cave and become a hermit. He's not going to spend the rest of his days hurting because things didn't go well for him.
A lot of what makes Spike Spike is conquering basic instincts. Rarity was a potential mate. When your mating right is challenged, it causes rage, and the instinct is to fight for your right. But, Spike also has pony sensibilities. He knew, empirically, that he might lose Rarity to any number of stallions.
He just didn't realize it might be a mare instead, and a good friend as well.
A stallion he could have safely resented for all time. Not so Fluttershy. A stallion he probably might have literally fought for dominance. It might have inspired an unnatural growth in him.
But ultimately, yes, these are friends who will, given time, forgive one another. It's part of why I enjoy fanfiction.
8647658
I never wanted, nor expected, Spike to simply become spiteful and bitter. There was never any real question that he would forgive Rarity, or that he would resist hating Fluttershy. But the resolution feels very simplistic and mechanical. It boils a complex issue down to a simply yes or no question, where the answer is treated as a given.
I guess my main issue is that the perceived slights (the primal instinct that you referred to) is given far more weight than the actual slights (Rarity's self-serving manipulations and general dismissiveness). The pivotal question, whether to remain friends, has everything to do with the latter, which in turn is kind of brushed off.
8647752
I get that, but at the same time... Rarity had good intentions, and derped. Add that to the fact that forgiveness is hardwired into the pony brain (and thus at the very least very important to Spike too) and yes, the slights you're talking about are the less important issue. They happened, they should be apologized for, but not agonized over.
Remember, Fluttershy herself once shouted at the top of her lungs that Rarity and Pinkie's entire life's ambition was pointless. They got over it and went to go hug the sad out of her. That's how things work in Equestria.
8647658
Honestly great breakdown of it all. I agree with all you said about Spike and why it worked out the way it did. Does it still make me wish to see a bit of .... idk something with some real weight , I guess idk really lol. It just feel a bit that something was missing like it is 99% there but just missing alittle something to make me fully embrace this. Idk may I wasn't looking for the most clean ending and this felt like it all came together so nicely for everyone that any weight in it all I felt at the start really just eased off by the end. I am sure I am doing a poor job of explaining myself lol. I just want to say I agree with your points.
Somepony call an ambulence. Serious burns and broken hearts there.
I still feel incredibly sorry for Spike after reading this, and I can really feel his pain. It's too bad we couldn't throw him a bone at the end and set him up with somepony else, though I had a feeling this wouldn't be that kind of story.
I think the main reason I heavily sympathize with him, and why Rarity's eventual bluntness made me tense up, comes down to how much I identify with Spike as a character, especially in the context of this story. When there's something that we've always wanted so much, only to find out we can't get it, to say we don't take it well is an understatement. The only difference between Spike's situation and mine, is well, the situation. I've only had about one or two crushes, and they never materialized to much more than that when I realized I probably wouldn't have a chance with those girls. (And this was in high school, so the way I saw it, even if I did get into a relationship, we probably wouldn't see each other after our high school years.) I will say this though: had I been in the exact same situation as Spike, and I was rejected by the one girl I devoted myself to, I would have reacted the same way he did. (Which probably isn't the ideal way to react, but what can I say? It's a fault I will admit to.)
8647768
I reached a similar conclusion in Chapter 2. Initially, I thought that the story might explore the concept in more depth, so I was disappointed when it seemed to be moving towards a relatively simple, expected resolution. If nothing else, I was hoping for that more gradual improvement you mentioned, but we didn't really get to see it, in my opinion.
8647814
Well, try to remember this is part one of a trilogy. There is more story to be told here.
I usually try to avoid stories like this one, I really get into it. I have sympathized with Spike the most because he has always been the underdog, the fish out of the water, the smallest of the bunch that can make a big difference. I have to re-read the other chapters to notice something about this story, to cut this short, it reminded me of the moral of the original little mermaid story (Not Disney one). The moral was that you don't always get what you want, and that is true with this Spike, which most of us sympathize even more.
I have also sympathized with Fluttershy but more on the previous chapter than this one. I get this feeling in this chapter that she is trying to force Spike into forgiving Rarity especially when this happens
it felt like Rarity didn't really consider Spike feelings, especially since he came back and standing right there in all thanks to Fluttershy. But the thing that gets me is what Fluttershy says
I don't really think Fluttershy knows what actually means to be "excluded" or if she did Fluttershy should have clearly notice how she just describe most of Spike's life.
I can not and could not sympathize with Rarity at all on this chapter. She kept on either not saying the right words or trying to not give a straight answer. Anything that she tries to say was like a landmine that I was glad for Fluttershy to step in and try her best in saving what is currently left of their friendship but in all, it felt too forceful from Fluttershy in making Spike forgive Rarity.
I really like this story, I am glad I did not avoid it all.
8647872
And that's the saving grace of this ending because even though it meets the requirements of a resolution it doesn't feel like one. It feels almost as bad as the deus ex machina style most of the recent season finales have been handled with, a big build up with little payoff for the time. Especially considering that the entirety of time Spike has known and actively attempted to impress/pursue Rarity could be seen as part of the build up.
8647768
I'm gonna politely disagree with parts of that statement. The time Spike has spent seeking Rarity's love isn't something that can be easily overlooked. How many chances to be around others his age and to develop an understanding of those his own age has he lost? In the show we almost never see him around foals which is shown by his personality in how at times he can seem more mature mentally than some of the ponies and yet still fall back into childlike quirks. In all honesty the damage from being led on like this for so long is not something that can or should be so easily forgiven and don't try to say that's how things work in Equestria. The show has had many characters, even among the mane six, hold a grudge or be distraught for days or longer before getting over or forgiving others. The fact that there was almost no time for Spike to actually recover or come to terms with it not even a time lapse before being brought into a situation where he's effectively forced to accept it is even more damaging to him and any relationship he might get into later if ever.
In all honesty I prefer fics where Spike forgives ponies but this doesn't feel like he should forgive them or that they deserve it with the way it was handled. What bothered me the most was when Fluttershy compared her situation to his. Her situation was only similar in that she had feelings for Rarity for some time, in all other ways it was different. She effectively swooped in and with comparatively no effort got rewarded with what she wanted while he was left trying fruitlessly. That would not make anyone sympathetic to the situation in fact quite the opposite. The only remotely believable part is that Spike would back off because Rarity is happy with her. But for him to forgive like that in that situation tosses out all suspension of disbelief even with it being set in Equestria. Heck that actually makes it worse considering the reasons good ponies become villains. The redeeming factor is that this actually isn't the true end of the story but as a standalone it's pretty bad if not downright horrible for anyone who knows the context in which Spike is upset if they stop and think about it. The worst part of it is that it's easy to see multiple ways of things going sour after this while the characters stay in character. Since I have no idea how the next story shall progress I'll refrain from stating any of the ones that come to mind till after this series completes itself.
This is my opinion and perspective from what I see as an avid storyteller and reader trying to get inside the head of the characters empathically from what I know of them and the influences of the world around them. If you don't agree that's fine but after reading this and seeing some of the comments I felt I had to make statement about it.
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Basically full agreement. It's what we expected, and therefore it's just too clean.
I'm rather disappointed that the reason given falls into age though. Spike was born when Twilight was a very young filly(based on size likely decently younger than the cmc were at the shows start), so I can't help but feel how I often feel when that's the best excuse Rarity has. Four to lets say six years being treated like sixteen or more. Filly Twilight is far from the age of a mother and even adults and young adults are prone to crushes. There are other reasons that could be given, even the species thing is somewhat viable especially if she wants foals of her own and the author chooses a world with no hybrids.
Also, can't say I really liked that Spike's options are forgive Rarity or lose two friends. Kind of feels like putting a gun to his head. Especially if you push it further to how it affects all of his other friendships. I'd of liked to see more understanding of Spike's right to feel his emotions and make his own decisions in time, than an expectation to forgive them now or else.
So there's certainly a few things I didn't like, but I do think Fluttershy is really great here. The empathy, patience, and understanding of what's needed is all really solid character depth and does feel like the caregiver and the sensitive mare she is. Spike's emotions and inner turmoil in a lot of places are really relatiable even to someone whose never been in his position. Overall it's a good solid piece, but it's not what I'd call great for reasons others gave and my own.
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It's also possible the rest of the trilogy will have little or nothing else to do with Spike. The trilogy is about
So future chapters could focus on their relationship to Discord, their relationship with their parents, with other members of the main six, with each other. It's not a trilogy about Spike, so we can't assume that any resolution for him that we'd feel more content with will come. This could be it.
The writing and grammer was...fine. But, as I stated in one of the previous chapters, this one felt pretty rushed. and that Twimom stuff towards the end, but that's more of a personal thing so I can't hold that against you. Still, what Empty Shelf said, its idealised, especially since the timeframe of this story seems to take place all in the same day. One of the great things that separate fanfiction from the show itself is that writers aren't constrained to the same 22 mins the showruners are left with (unless they're doing one of those 30 min challenges). This means that writers are given a lot more time and space to more fully explore the characters and situations they find themselves in. I'm not saying this was bad but it certainly could have benefitted from another chapter or two to better allow the reader to digest Spike's state of mind over the events of the story. It may be just moping but it'd be a good way to see how Spike thinks when faced with something like this.