• Published 6th Mar 2018
  • 6,315 Views, 90 Comments

Cantabile Holocaust - Nico-Stone Rupan



The name of a book causes some concern among Sunset's friends.

  • ...
25
 90
 6,315

Canterlot WHAT?!?!?!

Sunset Shimmer looked around the cafeteria table at her friends and breathed a sigh of relief.

She was glad to have the business with the Memory Stone behind them. Of course, like all the magical mishaps they found themselves in, some good did come out of it. A reunion between Sunset and Princess Celestia finally happened. Sunset learned the lesson that there's a difference between being neutral and being nice. Not to mention that she could be good friends with the Great and Powerful Trixie. Who knew that was possible?

Things were back to normal now, which Sunset was determined to enjoy. She finished her lunch and pushed her tray to the side, ready for some reading. Sunset reached into her backpack and fished out a centuries-old book. She still couldn't believe Celestia and Luna not only permitted her to check it out of Canterlot Library's restricted section, but take it across the portal into another world. Surely it was a sign of her earned trust. Sunset would guard it with her life in that case.

"I'm going to read until lunch ends, if you guys don't mind," Sunset thoughtfully announced. Wouldn't want anybody mistaking her reading time with standoffishness, after all.

"No prob, SunShim," Rainbow Dash said coolly. In truth, Rainbow was a bit envious of how both Twilight and Sunset could read out in the open. Sure her friends knew all about her love for Daring Do, but movies were one thing and books were another. She still had a reputation around CHS to keep, after all. One in which being an egghead wasn't included.

"Wow, that book appears ancient," Twilight Sparkle noted with interest.

Sunset chuckled as she opened it. "Oh, it is. It's a history book from Equestria."

"Interesting." Twilight still had a million questions about Sunset's native world. Of course, she tried to hold herself back, opting to sprinkle in just a few per conversation. She knew very well that if she wasn't careful, she'll spend all day bombarding Sunset. "What's the title?"

"Canterlot Cantabiles, Volume 31," Sunset answered without looking up.

The sound of a few spoons, lipstick, and an apple simultaneously hitting the table rang out. Sunset quickly looked up. Surrounding her was the faces of her friends, filled with various stages of confusion, shock, and utter horror.

"Uh, what?" Sunset asked.

"What'd ya say that book was called again?" Applejack asked.

"Canterlot Cantabiles, Volume 31," Sunset repeated.

"Whoa, seriously?!" Rainbow shouted.

"Hardcore!" Pinkie Pie complemented(?)

"Please tell me yer foolin'," Applejack implored, unamused.

"Oh, ponies, no..." Fluttershy whimpered.

"Sunset..." Twilight uttered in disbelief. "How, wha...?"

"Nope, darlings," Rarity announced, throwing her hands up. She immediately got up and left.

The eyes of very much confused Sunset darted around to each of her remaining friends. "Um, what's the problem here?"

"Is that kind of thing... common within your world?" Twilight asked.

Sunset shrugged. "Enough for thirty-one plus volumes."

"Oooooh, so ours is a dog eat dog world and yours is a horse eat horse world?" Pinkie giggled.

Applejack slapped the table. "Now Ah'm sorry, Sunset, but mah horses don't eat nuttin' they share a stable with!"

"Wait, what are you guys talking about exactly?" Sunset asked, increasingly confused.

Twilight rubbed the back of her neck, uncomfortably. "Well, Sunset, it's just that after all the incredible things you've told about your world's Canterlot, it's quite jarring to hear that cannibalism is casually practiced."

"Wouldn't you rather eat carrots?" Fluttershy suggested with hope.

Sunset's eyes widened. Cannibalism?! Where the heck did they get CANNIBALISM from?!

"So, quick question," Rainbow began with a sheepish smile. "Earth ponies, unicorns, or pegasi... which taste better?"

"Rainbow Dash!" Applejack scolded.

"Still nope!" Rarity called from the safe distance of two tables over.

"Oh, like I'm the only curious one here!" Rainbow defended.

Sunset shook her head. "Guys, guys, guys! Wherever you got this idea from, it's not – "

Pinkie shot up and frantically waved her hand in the air. "Follow up question! Follow up question!! How are the ponies prepared?"

"Pinkie..." Sunset growled, feeling as if a migraine was coming on.

In a split second, Pinkie zipped up into Sunset's face. "No really! Could you barbecue them, boil them, broil them, bake them, sauté them? Are there pony kabobs, pony creole, pony gumbo, pan-fried, deep-fried, stir-fried? Is there pineapple pony, lemon pony, coconut pony, pepper pony, pony soup, pony stew, pony salad, pony and potatoes, pony burger, pony sandwich...?" She paused. "Is that about it?"

At that moment, the Crusaders were passing by on their way to return their trays when they noticed the commotion at the older girls' table.

"What're ya guys talkin' about?" Apple Bloom asked.

"Sunset's a cannibal," Rainbow casually replied.

The three freshmen appeared horrified for a moment before grinning at each other as if opportunity had struck.

"Cannibal, you say?" Apple Bloom said, stroking her chin.

"I sure do hope Anon-A-Miss doesn't catch wind of that," Sweetie Belle mischievously said.

"We're so not Anon-A-Miss, by the way!" Scootaloo suddenly spat, unconvincingly.

An annoyed Apple Bloom elbowed Scootaloo in the arm before quickly ushering both her blockheaded friends away. Sunset groaned and turned her attention back to her own confounding comrades.

"So, seriously, which pony type is tastiest?" Rainbow demanded.

"Pony cupcakes?" Pinkie gleefully asked with a slight eye twitch.

"Nice crunchy carrots?" Fluttershy suggested once more.

"Subject change, please!" Rarity called from now three tables away.

"Y'all ponies need religion," Applejack flatly stated.

Sunset clutched her head. She felt as if her brain was about to explode. How did they get from talking about a book to this? Were her friends crazy? Was she crazy? Could Equestrian magic be warping reality? What was even happening anymore?

"Wait, everyone," Twilight spoke up. She got up, went over, and gently placed her hands on Sunset's shoulders. "Sunset is our friend. We know her. We've been through way more than most friends could ever imagine together with her. Should we really be making a big deal over what her culture does?"

Sunset rolled her eyes. "Twilight, my 'culture' doesn't – "

"Shouldn't we be living up to such ideals as love and tolerance?" Twilight continued. "After all, should we truly be the ones casting the first stone? Have we or have we not as humans practiced cannibalism throughout our own history?"

Around the table, reluctant nods and mutters of agreement were exchanged. Even Rarity began to inch back over.

"It does happen in our nature as well," Fluttershy admitted before adding in a slightly disturbed tone, "As much as cute, fluffy animals eating each other freaks me out on the inside..."

"Look around," Twilight directed, motioning her hands about the table. "We have a tomboy jock, a chronic partier, a hard-working southerner, a glamourous fashionista, a meek animal advocate, and, if I may say so myself, an accomplished scientific genius. Our group is the epitome of diversity and we should be honored to include an equine cannibal!"

Sunset pinched the bridge of her nose. "Twi, stop."

"All civilizations have their unique perspectives that could enrich the lives of the open-minded." Twilight smiled broadly as she picked up the ancient Equestrian tome. "And I don't know about you girls, but I for one think it would be a privilege to learn more about Sunset Shimmer's proud and cherished tradition of can – " She glanced at the title and paused. Her brow furrowed in thought for a moment before she grew a stoic expression. "Sunset?"

"What?"

"You were mispronouncing the title."

Sunset raised an eyebrow. "Huh? What do you mean?"

Twilight faced the front of the book toward Sunset and pointed to the title's second 'c' word. "This word isn't said the way it's spelled. It's proper pronunciation is 'kahn-tah-bi-leys'. The way you were saying it made it sound like you were saying 'cannibals'."

A slight blush came across Sunset's face. "Oh..."

Twilight handed back the book and promptly took her seat. An awkward silence befell the table. Twilight was embarrassed that she had launched into a cultural understanding speech for nothing. Applejack was wondering if she had come off as a bigot by bringing up her horses and religion. Rarity was ashamed how she just walked off on her friend like she did. Fluttershy was trying to get the image of ponies gnawing on each other out of her head. Pinkie was busy trying to catch her eye floaters...

"So hypothetically then..." Rainbow finally broke the silence. "... pegasi would taste better than earth ponies, right?"

Applejack smacked the back of Rainbow's head.

THE END

Comments ( 90 )

So, what I'm getting out of this is that Dash wants to eat herself. :trollestia:

In all seriousness, lovely little tribute to the special's shocking mondegreen.

8779636
Who wouldn't want to taste the Rainbow?

I see what you did here and I love it.
Expecting to see this in the featured box by the end of the day.

"So, quick question," Rainbow began with a sheepish smile. "Earth ponies, unicorns, or pegasi... which taste better?"

Is it bad I’m curious?:rainbowlaugh:

A pegasus once tried to test me. I ate his liver with with some cupcakes and a nice applejack.

It's proper pronunciation is 'kahn-tah-bi-leys'. The way you were saying it made it sound like you were saying 'cannibals'."

I now doubt that Sunset would make that mistake. She is supposedly highly educated and I just feel that she would have know how to say it. Now if during the chapter she was shown misreading it with how she is pronouncing it the mistake would have been obvious. Still an interesting read overall.

"I wonder who the real cantabile's are..."

I'm just curious why no one asked what the real word meant. :facehoof:
Nice story

--Spade

I am happy as all get out that someone thought to address this.

Though now I'm wondering if there was any reason why Princess Twilight was obsessing over the book beyond her "unknown literature is awesome" mindset. Why cantabiles? :rainbowderp:

Comment posted by Brony4Ever1992 deleted Mar 6th, 2018

"Pony cupcakes?" Pinkie gleefully asked with a slight eye twitch.

Runaway Rainbow Dash

8779738
Maybe she's into the study of harmonising vocal music through the ages? I mean, given the 'spontaneous musical number' effect that the Magic of Harmony seems to generate, I imagine that there has been a lot of research done into the phenomenon over the millennia!

8779706
Well, the joke came about from the way Twilight pronounced it and she is also a very educated mare.

8779757
Better than anything I can think of, I suppose.

The three freshmen appeared mortified for a moment before grinning at each other as if opportunity had struck.

"Cannibal, you say?" Apple Bloom said, stroking her chin.

"I sure do hope Anon-A-Miss doesn't catch wind of that," Sweetie Belle mischievously said.

"We're so not Anon-A-Miss, by the way!" Scootaloo suddenly spat, unconvincingly.

An annoyed Apple Bloom elbowed Scootaloo in the arm before quickly ushering both her blockheaded friends away. Sunset groaned and turned her attention back to her own confounding comrades.

OMFG

Methinks Twilight has a secret Vore fetish and that's why she mispronounced it...

After the first time we watched Forgotten Friendship, we had to watch it second time, with the captions on. according the captions, Twilight does in fact say "Canterlot Cannibals Volume 31, That's when it gets good."

8779636 Be fair now, it's pretty obvious which tribe of ponies will taste most like chicken. :scootangel:

An incredibly accurate story on the confusions of being a teenager.

Heey what a nice story.

The three freshmen appeared mortified for a moment before grinning at each other as if opportunity had struck.

I'm assuming you meant to say horrified. For someone to be mortified means they are extremely embarrassed.

8779997
Yeah, it's clearly "Canterlot Cannibals" in the special, but in the chapter book version, A Friendship to Remember, it's "Canterlot Cantabiles". So either the book toned the joke down or it was indeed "cantabiles" in the script, Tara Strong mispronounced it, and they kept the take.

8780295
According to Nick Confalone's live tweet of the special, it is "Cantabiles."

8779666
Unicorns from a small but not too rural town like Ponyville, obviously. They generally don't exercise too much and so the meat wouldn't be too tough, but they aren't surrounded by a bunch of pollution and eating hyper processed crap that would give them a chemical taste.
















What's everybody looking at?

8779636
Sunset should have told her, "You are a pegasus."

CSC

Uhhh.......what?!

Uhh.....Twilight........this is a misunderstanding about cannibalism. I don't think "culture" justifies it.

i know what they where going for but tara strong did miss read the line and no one noticed so its canon that its a book about cannibalism

I think unicorns would be the best tasting with the magic seasoning them up with pegasi being chewy and earth ponies being the toughest and would make the best jerky out of the three

8780295
Hate to disagree but I heard cantibles. I didn't even realize that people were hearing cannibals until I watched some reactions.

I like the title reference to "Cannibal Holocaust". Anyone who's seen or at least heard of the movie might get the jest of your chosen reference. :rainbowlaugh: Other than that, I'm looking up to having a look see since your brief synopsis has caught my attention! :twilightsheepish:

8780537
The way Tara Strong said it isn't how it's pronounced...

Holocaust, oy very!

8779706
A classic mark of being highly educated is knowing what words mean while having no idea how to pronounce them because you've read alot but never heard them said.

8780554
Interesting, like I said I heard cant-ah-ble-s but I agree it can sound like cannibal but I guess I’m so used to horse puns at this point that I didn’t even question the pronunciation.

I just....NO RD!! BAD!! *His Rainbow repeatedly with a rolled up newspaper*

according to the hearths warming tale Its earth ponies who get eaten.

It would be pronounced "Can't-Ables" Sunset, pronounce the T! It's like how so many people pronounce Supposedly as "Supposably". It's a D people not a B! And it's "X cet tra" not "X CED DRA" and "S Specially" not "X Specially". Sorry those common mispronounce words annoy me
Also Pegasus probably taste like chicken.

unlike "cannibal holocaust", i doubt any actual life forms were deliberately killed during the making of this story
i hope you understand why i have no choice but to downvote
for authenticity's sake

This. This right here was brilliant. Epic. Loved it.

Also, I caught that Forrest Gump reference and it was amazing. That's the kind of thing I'd do. :pinkiehappy:

8780509
I must say that a it makes more sense to find a book about ponies eating other ponies to be in the secret restricted section of the library than one about some sort of singing style.

"Cannibal, you say?" Apple Bloom said, stroking her chin.

"I sure do hope Anon-A-Miss doesn't catch wind of that," Sweetie Belle mischievously said.

"We're so not Anon-A-Miss, by the way!" Scootaloo suddenly spat, unconvincingly.

You...actually made a joke regarding Anon-A-Miss that was genuinely funny. That alone deserves praise. :rainbowlaugh:

The rest of this is just...wonderful. Absolutely hilarious. Brava! Bravicima! :rainbowlaugh:

I was using the Italian pronunciation for "Cantabiles", largely because that's my native language, so I was very very confused about what was going on up until the end XD

Well... that was underwhelming.

Seriously if your going to evoke once of the nastiest film known to pop culture, you could at least give some kind of real connection in the story. On the other hand, having see the film, I suppose I could say that it to was underwhelming, for me at least. So I guess they have that in common.

8780554
It's a little bit funny, because that's the sort of thing that, even if Tara Strong didn't think she needed to check the pronunciation of a word she didn't know, and the director didn't catch, should have been caught and corrected in post-production This is just sloppy.

8781807

Seriously if your going to evoke once of the nastiest film known to pop culture, you could at least give some kind of real connection in the story.

Maybe not the actual story, but I wrote the Anon-A-Miss joke and Twilight's speech to invoke the actual themes of Cannibal Holocaust: media exploitation and the similarities between cannibal society and "civilized" society.

8781888
I should really learn sarcasm doesn’t translate well into text. I meant that to come off half jokingly, but I guess that fell on its face. It’s a fine story with an eye catching title, and I really enjoyed it. It was fun and amusing to see the different characters reactions, all of which their personalities quite well. I’m glad to have read it, and I’m sorry if I offend in any way.

This kind of "misheard/mispronounced word" plot point always confuses me. Even if you assume the E is silent, I don't really see how it's possible to mistake "cantabile" for "cannibal." 'Cause, you know, there's still a T in it, and also A and I are not pronounced the same way.

It's weird, sometimes I kinda get the impression that native English speakers actually don't perceive sounds the same way I do. :applejackconfused:

8782003

I’m glad to have read it, and I’m sorry if I offend in any way.

Thanks and no you didn't offend me :twilightsmile:

Login or register to comment