• Member Since 21st Dec, 2017
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That trans kirin who is getting back into writing. :3



Volume I of III

At ten years old, she lost her horn.

At eighteen, she was promoted by the Storm King.

At twenty-four, she helped with the invasion of Canterlot.

For the whole of her life, Tempest Shadow has been lied to, even by her closest friends. It's only when Tempest learns the true meaning of friendship when the unicorn with no horn realises that not everything is all that it seems...

The Armada Trilogy

Volume I - you are here
Volume II - Beautiful Eyes
Volume III - Unicorn's Horn

PaulAsaran's Review*
*please respect the reviewer's opinion.

The image doesn't belong to me. It belongs to PaperDrop.

Prepare for Teen rated content!

Moderate violence
Description of flesh
Mild bad language
Disturbing scenes

Chapters (16)
Comments ( 103 )

What do you guys want me to write next?

Leave suggestions below!

Looks good so far, although I can't say much since it's not too far into the story yet.

By the way, make sure to check out my own story on my account!

I actually like this . You have one tiny misspelled word . Canterlot

Opps, thanks for letting me know! Please, I'm happy for you or anyone to alert me on misspelt words. It will really help me!

Stay awesome and keep on rocking!

Looking good so far! My only complaint is that it's spelled "Canterlot", not "Cantalot".

Yep, just heard that from another reader. Thanks anyway for letting me know. I've addressed that mistake on all references to the place in question. Please tell me if something's wrong; it will make my life easier when publishing future chapters.

"Just remember, Fizzlepop," Avon said, "just because you've lost your horn, that doesn't mean you're no longer a unicorn at heart."

"Unicorns forever, eh?"

"Unicorns forever."

Oh, this is gonna make her turn to evil so much more gut-wrenching...

And so it begins... :(

Holy cats! There's a Capper cameo in this story?!

Okay, in all honesty, I actually wasn't too terribly fond of him in the movie. Really, the only reason I wrote this comment at all was to make that pun. I'm sorry if I caused you guys to waste 5 seconds of your life reading this. That, and Capper was kinda...touchy with Fizzlepop/Tempest. It actually might have made me like him less.

But this is actually really interesting so far. I didn't think this is where you're version of Grubber would show up. I look forward to seeing the next chapter!

Glad you enjoyed Chapter Nine. I did want to include some cameos in The Lieutenant, including Capper and Grubber. There's more to come; I assure you!

Have you by any chance read the movie prequel book about Tempest at all? It covers a lot of her background and her first meeting the hippogriffs.

No, I haven't. This all came from my imagination. I have heard of the book, but I've never had the chance to read it:(

I wish not to read other people's work (not in a horrible way) about Tempest's past because I want to be as original as I can.

Whoa...so many thoughts went through my head while reading this chapter. Let me list 'em.

(1) Oh, look! A new chapter on The Lieutenant!

(2) It's really cool how you're having all the new characters from the movie show up here in Tempest's childhood. It makes her interactions with them in the movie (except for Skystar; they never crossed paths in the film) seem a lot more interesting. I hope this isn't the last we see of Celaeno, though.

(3) Congratulations. You have successfully made me hate Capper even more then I already did. The only problem is that it makes his conversion to good in the movie seem kinda sudden and out of nowhere.

(4) I thought it was interesting how Tempest still hasn't fully given up on being kind to others at this point. Her taking Skystar's place was awesome on her part. Which leads me to the next point...

(5) If you accept this incident with Skystar as part of your headcanon, it puts Novo's hyper-protectiveness in a whole new light.

Keep up the good work!

Umm.. does any pony in the story have.. AS ?

I... I don't know. All I know is that I need to finish Chapter Eleven.

Then Why did you post it in that part of the group ?

Then it's only in "( Made by one, by doesn't have one )"

I'm sure Tempest has some form of disability as well. That's why I put in there.

There will be two more stories after The Lieutenant, making it a trilogy!

Wait...so this is going to be a trilogy now?

This should be interesting...

Oh yes... just you wait...

Thanks for the link! I really need to do something in return for you. You've done so much for me!

Jest make a image of one of my O.C.s next year.
or pay some one to do that

Okay. That's possible. I'll think about it... :twilightsmile:

Okay, honestly, I'm not surprised that Chapter Twelve got so many dislikes. It was a bad chapter and it lacked any effort. I promise that Chapter Thirteen will be better and will make up for the crappy chapter before that. I'm avoiding the romance as much as possible. Besides, the Storm King is like hundreds of years old and Tempest is eighteen, so yeah.

No romance from here onwards. You're not getting that in the Armada Trilogy, that's for sure! Again, if you thought that Twelve was bad, then Thirteen will hopefully save you! Thanks to everyone who either liked or disliked the story. If I didn't receive dislikes, then I wouldn't improve!

You have done that fast.
Good work!

Thanks very much! I felt that it was a good place to end it there before I go into other adventures that Tempest has!

Thanks. I'll develop the story more in Volume II, but for now, I need a rest from writing! Don't worry, I'll be back soon! Stay tuned for more content in the future!

Awesome man, see ya soon

What does the summary mean by descriptions of flesh?

Injury detail e.g. flesh wounds and blood, but not serious gore. I kept this at Teen for as long as possible!

Very good! What bugs me is that English is called Equis Common in the MLP universe and that the countries have a horse pun (ex. Mexico is called Marexico, Spain is called Mane, etc.).

Oh, I didn't know that! That's something I've learnt!

I will change that in the next two volumes and other stories, I promise. Thanks for alerting me about that! Please tell me if something's wrong; it will make my life easier!

Nice to see that you've finally finished this story. I'm not sure if I'll read the sequels, though. I'm not much a fan of M-rated stuff.

If you're looking for something to do in between this and writing the sequel, I've actually written a short story involving Nightmare Moon that you could read in the meantime. It should be easy to find.

Aw, thanks! :twilightblush:

Oh yeah, when I said M rated, I mean I would up the violence a little bit (No sex! No way I'm doing clop!). I don't know if I'll make the stories Mature yet, it was just a thought.

The next volume I can say which will come out will be Summer 2018, with the third and final volume out either this Christmas or early 2019. I am currently writing my horror story, Canterlot Bridge, and I'm also planning sequels for that, plus a Princess Fluttershy series (romcom, with Rarity). And finally, a short romantic comedy with Twilight and Spike.

The title of the sequel to The Lieutenant is still TBA.

NOTE: I don't own any of the images used for the story.

I'm planning to start reading this but have one question.

I know everyone has a different taste and I just want to see something else again, but I hope this Tempest isn't an apoligetic mess, who was forced into being a friendship student and lost like Starlight a part of her personality. I mean I still like starlight but she lost her fire or how you want to call it i guess.

Texus #42 · May 3rd, 2018 · · · One ·

Tempest had changed from being afraid of her dark magic to becoming one of her most beloved friends.

I'm curious if we get some backstory or something like that because I like to see the characters making friends or getting informations about them instead of a "timeskip" or something like that happening and well...it just happened.

well I think I like your writing style, I just notice if it feels easy to read or makes enough fun sooooo....yes to the next chapter.

Starlight isn't included in the story; it's only about Tempest's past. Either opinion is accepted, as it helps me improve my writing. I have also released a sequel today if you're interested. Thank you for commenting, though, as I always want to hear from lots of different people!

"Goodnight, mum." Mrs Berrytwist closed the door behind her, leaving Fizzlepop alone in the darkness.

I hope she maybe meets her parents in the sequel.

It was a vision.

I'm just not sure why sh would get a vision and i admit I'm a bit wary as gods or mystical stuff are involved.

Interesting theory, my friend. Sequel is up by the way. Enjoy the rest of the day and thanks for commenting.

why was she still in the hospital? I think I missunderstood something

"Who dares to stand in the way of thee?!" the voice asked. It was the voice of a mare.

is this in the past or the present now?

*I understand that Luna was sent to the moon for a thousand years, but I feel that she could still access pony's dreams whilst imprisoned. Besides, Twilight wouldn't have gotten worked up about Nightmare Moon if she didn't receive some kind of warning, even if she read a book about the matter. I think Luna is a role model to Fizzlepop/Tempest, because she's been in a similar situation to her. That's why I feel it was important to feature her in the story.

Well maybe she could achive to dreams of a few ponies only that way. I think in the show Twilight just took what a book said to seriously wasn't it like that?

well anyway this is good enough so far.

Texus #47 · May 4th, 2018 · · · Six ·

For being brave, Fizzlepop was given something to drink after Nurse Redheart had finished on her.

Nurse Redheart was in her hometown? Well....I won't complain since it is something different than usual.

I have had the privilege to nurse Princess Celestia herself, believe it or not. And also her prize pupil, Twilight Sparkle."

It is probably more realistic than I think right now, but does that timeline even work? This sounds as if Twilight is older than Tempest.

This is happening at the time Tempest/Fizzlepop was asleep in hospital.

Yes, Twilight is older than Tempest.

In a comic dub, narrated by Scribbler, Starlight tells Twilight that she's 732 years old, which is nuts, but then Twilight tells Starlight that she's only 27 years old (between Seasons 7 and 8). I made Tempest 24 years old (when she attacks Canterlot, tries to capture the princesses etc.), meaning that Tempest's childhood was, at the time, 14 years in the past. Twilight would have been 13 at the time.

And Nurse Redheart was the only nurse pony that I could think of to include in The Lieutenant. And yes, I'm sure she was old enough to look after Twilight and Celestia back in Canterlot. I'm sorry if I didn't make that clear in the story; I will do better in the sequel:

The Armada Trilogy II: Beautiful Eyes

well okay that makes it slightly more awesome that she was able to win against the princesses. I just saw you replys, but thank you for clearing some stuff up.

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