• Member Since 18th Dec, 2017
  • offline last seen 4 hours ago

Mixed Galaxy


I'm a sucker for Discord stories, so what?

T

Crystal is an immortal human girl who got trapped in another dimension while dimension hopping to get some needed 'fresh air'. Needless to say, she bumps into a certain Lord of Chaos who was just beginning to take over Equestria.

Chapters (43)
Comments ( 59 )
Comment posted by darktempest deleted February 2nd
Comment posted by darktempest deleted February 2nd

It's alright, but the premise has been done many times before and the writing is sub par. I'm absolutely not telling you to stop writing tho. It's really great what you are doing, making this story. Keep at it and one day you will get to a point where you will be amazing.

8624014
Thanks for your support! I really appreciate it!

This was a good chapter don't be so down on yourself.

Comment posted by Dont Forget Me deleted February 2nd
Comment posted by Mixed Galaxy deleted January 23rd

Thanks for the support in this story! Will upload more soon!

I don't know why but I'm am missing the first chapter of this. Are you working on it right now or is my thing bugged.

8706137
Sorry! I thought it would be best if I edited the first chapter! Guess not. It's out now though! Here's an imaginary cookie as a sign of my apology.

(why do kids like the taste of cinnamon toast crunch?)

Don't question me :trixieshiftleft:

Crystal is an immortal human girl who is mourning over a certain's death.

...A certain what, exactly?

8724135
Why don't you read and find out?

I know the story is pretty bad and the plot goes here and there but that's what happens when you tell your roommate that's the opposite gender to help you and write some chapters without the plot just being pushed back and back and not touching it once I guess. What I'm saying is that the story goes up and down because both roommates have different ideas and opinions therefore making the story ignore the real plot entirely. So, I'm sorry for the wait on chapters even though I post usually once or twice a week. It's really hard to think of a real plot in the story when two roommates get bombarded with their own ideas, ya know? So, sorry if it's getting bad but hey, what's a good thing without it actually being bad? Just look at Trump.

......I'm not sorry. But if you are offended you may take this jar of cookies which is probably not empty......... Okay maybe empty...... JUST TAKE IT!

I'm no expert, but i actually like this story... It's hard for me to find original ships where both lovers are immortal :pinkiesad2:

8738398
Well there is Celestia X Discord thing but then that ain't original ships....... I feel great to hear that people are actually enjoying the story. Thanks!

Is Dusk, a colt or a filly, because you wrote down he instead of she and fillies are female.

8743374
Oops sorry. He's a colt, I swear.

I'm still pending and, by the way, I never told you that I love your fanfic and I hope it continues so I'm still waiting for half of my cookie ;).

8757027
Maybe tomorrow you'll get the other half........ My dog ate it I swear.

A few words from Dylan
She doesn't have a dog.

In all seriousness, thanks for the support for the fic! It's great to hear from you saying that you love it and hope I (Dylan: *cough *cough we *cough) continue. Chapters may take a while to be uploaded since I'm busy with school and all (Dylan: *cough *cough we slack off at school *cough ). But I will upload more soon! And hope you enjoy the rest of the fic or how long this fic would go on.

Good job, I loved reading this chapter:raritywink:

8774025
Thanks man! Or woman. Or apache helicopter......

Thanks again. It feels great to hear from people that they had enjoyed the chapter and things like that. Hope you enjoy the rest of the chapters that would come in the future.

Very good story I am enjoying it very much.

Keep up the good work!

:twilightsmile:

Wow, poorly paced, and ham-fisted! Let's see how deep this rabbit-hole goes!

(I don't have any particular issues with characterization, and I generally like the protag enough, when she isn't shoving poorly framed lessons-of-the-week down my prefrontal cortex.)

8809689
About the 'poorly paced' thing, sorry. Didn't have much time to make this chapter and I'm not that good in making chapters. And the 'lessons of the week' thing, it was supposed to be so. The protagonist is considered not experienced in life and therefore she doesn't really know how to deal with these situations. But she tries her best and therefore 'poorly framed' is considered just not knowing how to deal with it right. She is in Ponyland right now. It's not the same as her dimension. I'm okay with criticism towards my story but damn, didn't have to rub your ass all over it. I don't really think editing this chapter because of your feedback is really worth it so, just deal with it. Please.

8809747
I suppose that I didn't really account for poor levels of social experience as a factor in her interactions with others. I suppose my only real issue thus far, then, is the pacing of character interaction (it's so swift, that it comes off as inorganic and potentially disingenuous at it's worst).

For example, the whole interactions, overall, have the distinct taste of Bride of Discord, and nearly matches it, beat for beat.

I might have put it like a prick for the first comment, but that's pretty much my only major complaint; everything else is mostly nitpicking, and personal preference.

I like this story enough to continue, don't get me wrong, it's just that I habitually provide feedback with slightly... abbrassive?... humor.

8809771
Don't get me wrong, the first comment did seem to make you sound like a prick but other than that I'm fine with criticism and feedback. I'm not trying to make it sound inspired by 'Bride Of Discord' in any way. I heard about that fic but I don't really read nor watch the audio drama thing.

But my story is more of a..... how do you say it...... it's not that romance kind of stuff like 'Bride Of Discord'. I mean, it does have little snippets of romance here and there like that cuddle thing with Discord and Crystal. But she was high, remember that. She didn't know what was going on. She even called him a giraffe now, come on.

I'm trying to make the story, like, the protagonist is brave, but shy. Bold, but sometimes scared. Daring, but sometimes think that everything won't go well. The pacing of character interaction thing, well, okay, you are correct. It does seem a little, unreal like. I could try to make it a little more better, like Twilight's untrustfulness towards Crystal. But other than that, thanks for the feedback. And I'm okay with criticism, don't worry about it. It helps the story allot.

8809826
Thanks; I've never been very good at the whole social interaction thing, so it kind of shames me that I hadn't picked up on it in the character. Also, I don't really blame you for the Bride of Discord tastes, seeing as it was heavily inspired by Beauty and the Beast.

"Nevermind about that, Crystal. I say, your magic skills are great. Invicibility is a high level spell" said Celestia in amazement.

Invisability, not invincibility

8811985
Oh, right. Thanks for spotting it!

On chip 13, it doesn't come close to my level of shit in terms of storytelling
Meaning mine are crap

> barriers
Twice in the same chapter.
Bearers.

> founded
Found. There is no 'ed'.
Twice again.
> be alerted
Be on the alert. Or something else entirely.

8840038
Thanks for spotting it. Sorry for the mistakes. Here's a cookie, I don't even know why!

8840000
Thanks for spotting it..... again. I should really consider getting an editor. Anyway, thanks and sorry for all the mistakes.

8841725
*munch* *munch*
I actually spotted more of the odd stuff on the way. These were the most prominent cases which I just couldn't ignore. Most of the time I'm reading from a cellphone, though, and commenting on anything while reading like that is figuratively and almost literally painful. -_- I can recommend to use languagetool.org browser extension, though. It really helps to spot tons of spelling mistakes and just odd places to double-check. Not every suggestion it gives is right, some rules are worth being disabled and their dictionary doesn't have pony words (and free version quite limited in size of text blocks you can check at once), but quite a lot are useful, odd rules easy to disable and you can add unknown words to a local dictionary (and 2500 words limit of LT+ is still useful).
Or some other extension, dunno. I've experience only with Language Tool. Tell me if you find any better. :)

Funny thing regarding Lulu and Old English. If she'd use actual Old English we'd not comprehend whatever the lady blabbering. She actually uses Early Modern English aka Shakespearean English... which is often confused for Middle or even Old English, but is neither of those.

Also, I think Lulu should have said something like this:
"Wherefore art thou not in thy bedchamber?"
* Missed "not" and there is no reason to use plural form for bedroom. She have only one.
* Wherefore = why; for what reason. Occasionally misused for "where", but doesn't mean that at all. Yep, classic "Wherefore art thou Romeo?" means "Why are you Romeo?". ^_^
BTW, it's worth to remember that besides "thy" there is "thine" with the same meaning. Which one to use depends on the first sound of the next word. Thine is for vowels and thy for consonants.

8842151
Woah. I finally know how this works now. Thank you for the info and um, thanks.

8841739
Thanks for telling me this. I'll consider checking that out.

8843913
I'd recommend dropping majority of Lulu's "Old" English entirely since Lulu is trying to adapt to modern pony society and usage of Modern English in everyday interactions is a right way to do that. Well, besides having such interactions in the first place. She may slip a few forms of "thou" and a few archaic words and even correct herself afterwards to indicate that it's her mistake and not yours, but in general she should talk in Modern English without "wherefore art" and other oddballs. So, don't beat yourself over not knowing how to properly EME. Leave Early Modern for cases when she's angry or under some other powerful emotion and keep it as short as possible to avoid problems. EME is way more different from the Modern English as we know it. It's not just about 5 forms of "thou" and "art" in place of "are". Majority of the words were spelled differently or entirely different words were used in their stead. The same characters has different rules to read and write like u/v and i/j which were considered the same and iust (!) has specific rules where to write each (like "v" as the first character and "u" in all the other places). Also, at þe early stages of EME some characters from Middle/Old English were still in use like "þ" (thorn, were replaced with "th" later on), "ſ" for pretty much all "s" characters and even "ß" for double lowercase s. Or to be precise double lowercase s were written as "ſs" and most likely is the reason why "ß" were born as ligature of these (or "ſz"). And all that is only a tip of the iceberg. >_<

Now, consider this: EME is only 500 y.o. and Moonbutt had her double moon butt stuck into the Moon for a millennium via improper usage of an Orbital Friendship Cannon. If pony tongue were developing at the same pace as English in our world then she could have used actual Old English or Old Norse instead. And wear a horned helmet 'cause actual Vikings didn't. >_>

> WHY U DU TIS ZECURA?! WHY?!

Actually, it's a shame that she appears in fics so rarely. She is amazing and I like her... but I do realize that writing dialogs with her could be a royal PITA. But you know what? Thou brought her rhiming stripy derriere onto thyself with thine own hooves. So, deeply inhale and exhale, inhale and exhale, inhale, count to 9 and let the rhime flow through you.

Hello everyone. It might take a while for the next chapter to come out. I have been having problems with family and my job and stuff so it's really hard to focus on writing the chapters. It will come out soon, latest is next week. I hope you all understand.

Comment posted by SSJ2PinkiePie deleted April 21st

"Believe the sign, Sparkle."

always trust the sign


always believe it



it never lies

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