• Member Since 1st Aug, 2016
  • offline last seen 18 hours ago

Thebaconpiggybank


Are we all insane unto a level of which we believe otherwise?

Comments ( 38 )

I'm going to assume this is related to Bloodborne.

Pretty clean and well written, no gammar or spelling mistakes that I could find. Just something on how the conversation was written.

Generally when it comes to conversations you would connected the quoted words with the following action such as:

“I am say this” he said bluntly.

However, the separations I see here between the quotes and the following actions is very nice, adding a bit to the mood. The above way of doing things simply helps with the flow of ge conversation, but what I’ve seen in this chapter is perfectly fine for the setting and tone of the conversation.

Spike was a very interesting dragon. He was kind, he was caring, he was loving, and he was sweet. Now though he seemed dull. Empty if you will. Instead of being the vibrant cheerful young dragon everypony knew him to be he chose to be eerily calm. Refined. He walked everywhere and almost never spoke. This of course led Twilight to worry.

You may want to try break up these sentences, really use the space of the page seeing as this doesn’t read like a paragraph.

"Well young Spike... we were wanting to know about our first encounter... when you summoned your weapon to our neck we felt as if you drew your power from us... we eant to know if you did to be honest, so... did you?"

Pointing out a spelling error, also earlier in the second paragraph you need to capitalize Nightmare Moon.

a game of chess will be relaxing

8624829
Thanks for pointing that stuff out. I'll be sure to correct it. :3

What does the picture have to do with Bloodborne?

8680241
The flower is from Bloodborne and is called a ColdBlood flower. Just figured it would be a nice pic to represent the story.

You ever wonder if the mane six are worth protecting? :ajbemused:

...those blind bastards...

Someone had to say it Spike, too bad it fell on deaf ears.

I want this done so bad it feels like I'm looking at an oven of cookies, that are not quite done!!! :pinkiegasp:

8749230
In this case, it's only Twilight.

8749547
Twilight will be shattered when she realized what she just did

Great chapter now to wait for the next one.

What route did spike take? Did he become an eldritch cereature or… half eldritch creature; because dragons are pretty anchient and magical themselves?

8809209
Time will tell. I'm experiencing some writer's block but I am working on a chapter. If it does help though, he has been in more than one hunt. That is all I will say :3

Grrr… this is so much better than a crossover of this type, scale, or cross material has any right to be!!!

How you do this?!?

I would like to see him talking with the Cakes and Pinkie Pie.

8829664
Magic. Magical wonders of space and time because I have no idea how please help. (This means a lot to me so thank you so much :3)

That’s a threaded cane isn’t it?

8830026
I would assume so, going off the hint of the 'design' I would guess they're the blade grooves

I'd like to see how fluttershy(maybe with discord) will react on spike's changes)
And one question.Will you adapt this story for season 8 characters?

8842021

I'll find a way to incorporate it most likely. I love the idea of Spike helping out and stuff. I'll just need a bit of creativity to make it work though.

>inb4 final hunt takes place in equestria

8758809
I'm back and ill be trying to make them longer. Sorry about these, hehe...

8829844
I'm actually working on that. It may be out soon but I'm working on it some more. I'm thinking about conjoining the Fluttershy and Linkie meetings into one chapter though so it's longer.

It's kinda nice the idea of a peaceful walk for a tired hunter. I enjoyed quite a while this chapter. Hope you update the story soon ☆

9412714
Currently writing the chapter. I should be over 5000 or so words.

I still think more talks about Applejack about that would be great, like. She having a bit of a nightmare related to where Spike was, and all that unknwon Monsters going to her, and while she was dreaming, maybe was related to the spike past with his mentor and she can see who he was.

Still love that ending after a while of not reading.

Please continue, I would like to see what he talks to everyone!

when is the next chapter coming out?

Login or register to comment