To be rewritten
Chapters (6)
isabella7890
Joined 3rd Jul, 2017 ·
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From the synopsys I can think more a foal that a filly... I imagine a foal the age of the cake twins and a filly the age of the crusaders more or less
This synopsis...
I just don't understand how you, as a sapient being, can write a synopsis like that and not immediately think, "I would sound like an idiot if I said this out loud, so it's probably not fit for reading, either."
But then that would require you to read, so I suppose it's a bit of a chicken before the egg scenario.
reactiongifs.com/wp-content/gallery/wtf/tumblr_m1vknqkfDX1qeyt27o1_500.gif
Ummm is this a parody fic or what? It written like one and horrible as well. I cant understand a dam thing you trying to write.
Guys, I am a new author so forgive me if the story is bad. About the filly thing, I'll just change the title
.
try aiming for thousand word chapters it will help you write
Well, that came out of nowhere... seriously, where the frak did that come from? It doesn't seem to be that necessary for the plot and there's no real build up.
Lets see where this goes I guess.
The overall idea is interesting but I would recommend you to try to expand the story and build the sympathy toward character more and It would work much better. It’s a bit too fast to actually have noticable attachment toward character. Also, if you need any help, you could always ask other for advice and opinion on the story.