Many Longform Returns
ENDING ONE - ANTI-CLIMAX EDITION
“ ...and then I danced like I had never danced before!” concluded Rarity.
“ Wow.” said Spike, looking up at her with glittering eyes. He, as always, was following the mare, hanging on every word. And by following, he was riding on the cart with her. And Rainbow Dash. And Fluttershy. And Pinkie.
Applejack was making some rather rude remarks under her breath as she struggled to pull them up the last few stairs to Canterlot Castle.
“....and...done.” gasped the hard-working mare, collapsing in a panting heap. “ We’re done. It’s over.”
“ Really? We’re done already?” exclaimed Pinkie Pie, leaping off of the cart and looking around in shock. “ No! We just started this adventure! There are so many more side plots to explore! We never had a hotsprings episode! And we don’t have enough episodes to reach syndication!”
“ The only episodes we have are the ones your sugar intake cause, dearie.” chortled Rarity, hopping out of the cart. Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy floated out, lining up with the other elements.
“ And then I sez, I sez - ohmigoshohmigoshohmigosh!” squeaed a familiar voice. A moment later Twilight Sparkle bounded out of the castles mailslot and dashed towards her friends, skidding to a halt in front of then. “ Girls! You're back!”
“ We’re back!” declared Pinkie Pie.
“ And safe!” cheered Twilight, rushing to hug each of them - except for Applejack, who she checked for a pulse.
“ And we have a barrel!” laughed Pinkie Pie.
“ Well, naturally.” replied Twilight. “ I’d be more concerned if you didn’t.”
“ I know - a bucket just doesn’t have the same punch and a box sooooo overused.” giggled Pinkie Pie. Rainbow Dash facehoofed as Fluttershy blinked in confusion. “ I mean, yeah, if we strap on the commando leather, we could use the box, but we’d have to be in it.”
“ And it’d really be out of place to start a crossover this late in the game - you’d have needed to build up, or at least have skipped the anime references so that the genre restructuring could be - “
“ Um, hey.” muttered Applejack weakly, standing up on shaky hooves. “ Ah know ya’ll got a ton of crazy talking to do, but we’ve got something to deal with.”
“ Oh, don’t worry - Discords sealed evil in a can.” said Twilight, trotting over and giving the barrel a kick. A groan came from inside. “ And it’s the last chapter. Stuff like that only gets opened during the rising action part of a story.”
“ Yeah, and we are so climactic right now it hurts.” said Pinkie Pie, nodding her head. “ Which, I must say, is a sentence I haven’t had to utter in almost a ten minutes, so you know I’m being serious.”
“...when have you said that in the last fifteen minutes?” asked Twilight, looking to her in confusion.
“ Skee ball tourney against this cute couple.” replied Pinkie.
“ Ladies! We have a bad guy, in a bucket!” shouted Rainbow Dash, rising above the group. “ Can we get it teleported to the moon or something?”
“ Hmm...no, Discords more of a ‘sealed in a temple devoted to his evil’ type of guy.” said Twilight, giving the barrel another tap. “ Hey, do you want the module written by Monte Cook or Gary Gygax.”
“ gYgaX, plZ.” came the mushy reply. “ hE WearS the shiRTS of tHE HAwaiiAns.”
“ Wow, you guys must have pulled a number on him if he’s Torgo-talking.” muttered Twilight. She hopped onto the barrel, then leaped again and bounced off it like a trampoline. Once, twice, thrice, and it was gone. “ Welp, he’s dealt with!”
“ B-but your still a monster!” said Spike in alarm.
“ Well, yeah.” said Twilight with a shrug. “ I need to get Rainbow Dash that poster I promised her.”
“...thats...your reason...” Spike looked shocked.
“ Dude, alright!” laughed Rainbow Dash. “ I’d almost forgot! That’s really soon!”
“ So...um...” said Fluttershy, stepping forward, then retrating back. After a moment, she continued talking. “ I, um, just need to check. Are we done with, um, Discord?”
“ Yep.” said Twilight, nodding.
“...so, this is, um, it?” she asked again.
“ Yep.” said Twilight, continuing to nod.
“...oh. I thought there’d be, um, more.”
“ No, this is the anti-climactic ending.”
“ Oh.”
“...”
“...so, um, who wants to help me count out Applejacks tax return?”
HOLLYWOOD ACTION PACKED ENDING COMING TO FIMFICTION SOON!
STARRING: PONIES
THIS FIC HAS NOT YET BEEN RATED. OR WRITED.
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An update? Are you fucking shitting me? You're shitting me. PotatoJoe is shitting me.
1397837 I am Potato Joe. And I am shitting you.
Well, aside from being written by pɹoɔsıp Twilight and having almost as many grammar errors as the original Chaos King himself has concussions (okay, not that many, but they're noticeable) it's a fitting conclusion. I do miss the character development that you seem to have set aside for comedy.
1397887
Yeah, I'm trying to recontact my prooffreader. I am a typomanufacturerer.
I abandoned charecter development for comedy...yeah, I guess thats fair.
1397867you missed a *on* somewhere in that sentance
-wargod
i1062.photobucket.com/albums/t486/FireSnake-/PictureUnrelated.jpg
I LOVE using that pic. Haven't read it yet, but i'll get around to it sometime.
>your back
You talkin' 'bout my flank?
Need moar Chaos Twilight! Finally, she can be intelligent and completely understand Pinkie! Need more development on this NAOW!
That was very....fourth wall break-y.
There is exactly one usage of the word 'your' in this chapter that shouldn't be 'you're'. Dare you to find it!
As much as I dislike how this fic took a sharp turn into Sillyville, given how awesome the concept was at the starting gate, it really is good to see it get some form of an ending. Welcome back - I may not like your fanfic much, but I really do genuinely like your decision to finish it. Have a Rarity face.
I'm giving you this one specifically because it's always somewhat creeped me out.
And I swear, if you let this comment discourage you, I will slap you with a literal iron neck.
Can we get more updates like how Pinkie wanted? I don't care if they would feel a little hamfisted, it's silly and fun to read!
What took so long? //dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/shrug_Derpy_Hooves.png
wait....what...
im using this gif so
derp.co.uk/2bd6e
You have my attention, sir. This looks well worth my while.
>>We never had a hotsprings episode!>>>
I cast my vote for a (raunchy) hotsprings episode.
Saw that this fic had finally updated.
Am now thoroughly confused.
I suppose that's the problem with a good story. You hate to see it end, but love to watch it go. Giggity. But, seriously, I'll miss crazy chaos Twilight, especially since we barely got to see her interact with the others after she'd figured out her powers at all.
1398066
1398180
Fixed, I think.
Hope the real ending will less anit climatic. Any chance of seeing a sequel to this story in the future?
So how many endings are there? And is there a true one?
This seemed associated with the plot as much as it was associated with itself.
v025o.popscreen.com/Y2oyMENDRy1IQUkx_o_lyra-gets-caught-with-her-pants-down.jpg
In other words, keep writing (more Luna).
I like how the plot is literally wriggling in front of my face. But I absolutely hate the fact that I don't get it.
When this story updated, I was like Wut? And now I'm all, RADICAL! Then I read its ending and so I create a second sun for DOUBLE SUN POWER!!!
Anyway my quick dive into madness concluded, the best bits of this story have been Twilight learning Chaos control. I do hope to maybe see more or maybe a side-story like the one for the Wizard and Lonely Princess. Also Boom, with Twilight's chaos powers she makes Trixie the new Element of magic, thus she has to learn to be friends with Twilight's friends. That has comedic potential which I'd love to see you explore PotatoJoe.
1397900 Since a lot of the chapters felt kinda short, and it looks like you're planning at least a minor rewrite, you could put some more character development in somewhere. then we could read the story twice!
so it looks like Twilight went through with the 'guardian of chaos magic' thing. it's interesting to imagine what the rest of season 2 would be like if this happened.
Well, that was odd.
HOT FUCK SHIT YES.
Huh. This isn't dead.
Is it just me, or did this story not have so many fourth wall breaking jokes before?
I dunno. It's been a while...
It was very interesting, but it had a anti-climatic feel to it. I wonder if this is the last chapter or you forgot to but a complete tag on it. I cant wait for the next chapter. Giving the story a thumbs up.
I waited month for this?
IT started out so well but ended up just like discord. A pile of mush. I'm sorry, but it could have been a lot better
dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_TwilightWut.png dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Twilight_pea.png dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Pinkie_loool.png
Er... yeah. This was pointless and random bits assembled into an almost readable format. I suppose that Discord would approve the random factor, but he'd definitely take points off for style on this one. Let's see what your Muse comes up with next.
This fic missing "Random" tag
..... I really, REALLY hope you're not just dropping the story like this.
Ending is BAD.
I only started this yesterday, & now that I finished I gotta say, the last few chapters... kinda sucked.
Not that I don't like your comedy (it was actually fairly good), or the characterization (disco-twilight works pretty well), it's just that, it seems more like you lost interest in the story awhile ago & these new chapters are just to finish it quickly. In the end (reserving full judgement till the other ending(s) are done) this new stuff kinda detracts from the original story, making it worse overall.
It's like No Country for Old Men, which is completely awesome... until the ending, then it just ruins the whole movie.
Oh well, still adding it to favs.
Ahhhh.
Less characterization than I hoped, but nice to see this wraped up anyway. NEXT!
Ch 9.
No apostrophe needed.
Ch 10.
Opposite problem.
1401898
You know, I'd forgotten how you hated how I wrote.
Kinda nostalgic. Thanks for keeping loyal to the story, though!
...
I'm not dreaming am I?
This isn't dead?
ONWARD! TO PONIES!
1403284
If I merely "hated how you wrote," I wouldn't criticize the flaws in one of your stories, I'd just thumb it down and read something I liked!
The majority of this story is darned good, but you're obviously bored with it by chapter 6 and just going through the motions....which is arguably worse than just not writing in it ever again.
1397867 i just thought of something, is your avatar... wait, given the word in the pic i'm gonna just assume thats a pic of blueblood as the word fits him perfectly.
Get the next bit writed
Lovely randomness, everywhere! And there! And there! And there!
Sweet anti-climatic goodness!
Agreeing with the criticisms, these last few chapters felt forced. Like, low quality Random-tagged story forced. A shame considering how well the story started out.
WTF just happened ?!?!?!
I liked this fic when it started out, but somewhere, somehow along the way it went down in quality as far as storyline goes. It went from serious and good-funny to ridiculous and semi-funny to
I must ask, are you doing that on purpose or is this for real?
I LOVE YOU for updating.
*Favorite Fanfic writer returns*
*Choir of angels*
Chaos Twilight needs here own series of mishap filled chapters.