The Persistence of Destiny

by Cold Bolt

A Deluge of Devotion

Author's Note:

v1.1

As soon as the sound of the river faded behind them, Derpy staggered.

"Easy now," said the Doctor, giving her his shoulder to lean on.

Starlight frowned. "Derpy, are you sure you're alright?"

"I'm fine, I promise," said Derpy with a tired giggle. "It's okay, we really need to - whoa!" She staggered again, practically crashing into the Doctor beside her.

Starlight shook her head. "You've just been through a lot. I think we ought to rest for a bit."

"No complaints here," agreed Sunset. "We've been walking for hours now."

A general murmur of assent came from the rest of the party. In minutes, the six of them sat huddled around a small campfire in the middle of the path, munching on muffins and passing a canteen of water between them.

"What time is it, you reckon?" Applejack craned her neck skyward, her eyes lingering on the bright moon above. "My senses are all mucked up on account of it's still dark."

"Well, I didn't exactly bring a watch..." Sunset lifted her fetlock and glanced at it. "...but it's gotta be at least noon by now."

Starlight swallowed a bite of muffin. "That's an eerie thought..." After a pause, a thought occurred to her. "Hey Derpy, how are...?"

She paused as she caught sight of the mare dozing peacefully on the Doctor's shoulder. He smiled down at her for a moment before looking up at Starlight and raising a hoof to his lips.

Rainbow sighed quietly. "It's scary how determined she was back there. Good thing it all worked out okay, right?"

"I've known her for years," said the Doctor, "and for all her smiles, I had no idea she struggled so... I can only hope this trip brings her some confidence."

Starlight nodded. "She deserves it."

---

A few minutes later, after the muffins were eaten and the canteen was drained, the party broke their tiny camp and carried on. Though it had been brief, Derpy seemed reinvigorated after her nap, and now trotted along happily.

"Hey, look!"

A thick fog blanketed the terrain ahead of them, but just at the edge of their vision, a set of ancient spires was visible above the mist.

"There it is!" Rainbow hovered overhead, pointing her metal-clad hoof. "We're almost home free!"

"Don't let your guard down yet," warned Starlight. "There could still be danger between us and it."

"Uh... case in point, maybe?"

Applejack pointed at the abrupt end of the path in front of them, giving way to a chasm filled with fog.

Sunset scowled at it. "Another gap to cross? Feels like too many variations on the same theme, if you ask me."

"Look, there's a bridge!" Derpy pointed to a pair of wooden supports driven into the ground, to which the ends of a rope bridge were tied. As she approached it, however, she soon found herself peering over the edge of the cliff. "Oh, but um... I don't think it goes in the direction we wanted..."

Sure enough, the bridge hung down into the chasm, apparently severed somewhere along its length.

"No problem," said Rainbow. "I can just fly down and fix it myself. I'll be back in a flash!"

"Wait, flash...?" Starlight blinked. "Hang on, Rainbow. I have a better idea."

Rainbow flailed to a stop in midair. "Huh?"

Starlight turned to Sunset. "You should do it."

"Uh." Sunset glanced between Starlight and Rainbow. "Wait, why me?"

Starlight walked up to her and spoke quietly. "Do you trust me?"

Sunset quirked an eyebrow. "Well, duh. Of course I do."

"Then it has to be you. I think I know what's coming up next... and it's something you in particular have to face."

Sunset took a deep breath, her gaze resting on the fog ahead. "Alright... well, then here goes."

Teleportation was a trick Sunset hadn't used in a long time; she wasn't capable of that sort of magic in human form. Thankfully, it was a skill that required far too much time and effort to learn in the first place for her to ever forget it. With her eyes locked on the far end of the chasm, her horn flared; in an instant, she stood in unfamiliar surroundings.

She turned to face the way she came. Five indistinct figures milled about back on the other side, only barely visible through the mist, and she called out to them. "Hey! I made it!"

There was no response.

"Great, they can't hear me," she grumbled. "Oh well. Let's take care of this thing."

It took concentration to reach all the way back across the chasm, but soon she felt the end of the bridge in her magical grip. A pair of supports stood on this side as well, undamaged but for the time they had spent unshielded from the weather; before long, one half of the bridge was secured.

"Huh?"

A glow emanated from behind Sunset.

Curious, she spun around for a better look... and gasped at the sight of her cutie mark hovering in midair before her, shining brilliantly with a warm light.

Almost instinctively, she took a step closer, noticing instantly that it was giving off more than just light. The emblem also radiated power, palpable through her whole body. It was a pleasant sensation, an inviting one. At once, she knew it was an offer - an offer of everything she had ever wanted.

Her mind drifted back years, to her days as Celestia's personal student. The sun princess saw her unparalleled potential, but needed to test her properly to ensure she would put that potential to good use - to employ her power harmoniously were she to tap into it.

Curse that stupid mirror.

Her future stared back at her when she looked into it. It had to be! She could feel it. Celestia and her arbitrary rules were only standing in the way of what Sunset deserved! And now -

Now that power she had sought for years stood right in front of her, all but begging her to take it.

Before she knew it, her forehoof was already extended toward the emblem, a tingling sensation in her leg intensifying the closer she got to it. It was intoxicating. Her heart pounded.

She'd show them.

She'd show them all how to respect the name Sunset Shimmer.

She would show the whole world -

"NO!"

Sunset wrenched her hoof away from the emblem, the sudden momentum causing her to topple backward onto her haunches.

"I'm not that Sunset anymore!" Frightened by how quickly the unspoken offer had tempted her and determined to defy it, Sunset glared daggers at the floating cutie mark. "I've changed! Celestia was right - I wasn't ready, and I'm still not... but there's no way I'm falling for an empty promise from a stupid floaty light!"

The emblem hovered unfalteringly.

"Get away from me," she snarled, fuming. "I've got friends waiting for me." With that, she turned her back on the emblem and picked up the untied end of the rope bridge.

In an instant, the emblem dissipated. In its place was a rapidly expanding screen of magic that encased Sunset like a giant bubble. It emitted a brief hiss before going quiet.

" - !"

Sunset opened her mouth to speak, but no sound came out as the breath was sucked from her lungs. She tried to gasp in surprise, to no avail - all the air inside the bubble had been evacuated, leaving her in a vacuum. Her mind racing, she wound her hoof back and pounded on the magic screen, but it held fast.

Her lungs began to burn. She called on her teleportation again, a short jump to escape the bubble trying to suffocate her... but as her spell went off, she felt as though she'd just slammed herself bodily into a brick wall, no closer to safety... and a sharp pain from her forehead told her the attempt had singed her horn.

She staggered inside her prison, her eyes unfocusing from the ache in her head and her lungs. At the rate she was going, she had mere seconds of consciousness left and no idea what to -

The bridge!

Stars swam in Sunset's vision as she reached out once more, fighting through the pain with all her remaining strength as she telekinetically lifted the untied rope and slowly coiled it around the bridge support. She tugged and tugged, desperate to tighten it as much as she could - if it unraveled while the others were trying to cross it, then...

...then...

...then all she knew was darkness.

---

"...set? W..."

Muffled speech registered dimly in the recesses of Sunset's mind.

"...kay? Say some..."

Was someone talking to her? Whatever it was, it would have to wait till morning. She was way too tired to -

She felt herself being shaken gently.

"Wake up, Sunset. Come on, we need you..."

Finally, Sunset's eyes eased open. Through the stars still clouding her vision, she saw a pair of worried indigo eyes staring down at her.

"Star... light...?"

The worried gaze softened into a relieved smile. The next thing she knew, she was being held firmly.

"I'm so sorry, Sunset..." Starlight's voice was barely above a whisper. "I thought I knew what I was doing, but I... I almost..."

"Hah..." Still winded from the experience, Sunset's words came in between heavy breaths. "You were... you were right though..."

"Huh...?"

Sunset sat up slowly and spent a moment catching her breath, raising a hoof to gingerly rub her burnt horn. With any luck, the injury wasn't as bad as Starlight's, but it still stung in more ways than one. "This just got personal. That trap wasn't meant for the first pony across the gap... It was meant for the one and only Sunset Shimmer."

Derpy shivered. "That's scary..."

"I wasn't sure at first," Sunset continued, "when you said Nightmare Moon knew we were here. She could have set those traps beforehand in case anyone wised up and came looking for the Elements... but this? There's no way."

The rest of the party exchanged worried glances before looking back down as Sunset slowly climbed up on all fours with Starlight's help.

"Before you ask, I'm fine now. My horn's seen worse than this, anyway." Sunset's face hardened into a scowl. "Might have needed a good kick in the teeth, now that I think about it. Let's go teach this lunatic who's boss."

A chorus of cheers rang out as the six of them marched onward, the castle ruins looming ahead in the darkness.

Comments

[everydaygamer]

Umm are we ignoring the first EQG movie? Because Sunset can definitely teleport.

[titanhades70]

8772145
Yeah, but she also forgot she could use magic later on before Starlight had to remind her. And she couldn't use her hooves the way a normal pony should be able to. (We still need to know how hooves work...) Plus she kept forgetting to walk on four hooves instead of two feet.

So, basically, I see nothing unusual about her forgetting about a pretty advanced spell, snice she kept forgetting more basic things than that.

I think it's because she is now content with living the rest of her life in the human world so she doesn't have to or need to remember those things anymore. Before she was always planning to eventually go back to take over.

[everydaygamer]

8772303
Well yeah except she states she was never capable of teleporting.

[Sun Sage]

Yeah I gotta say the 'I never got the hang of teleporting' line is suspect. It's basically the first spell we see her use when she's introduced; it was an establishing moment that was fundamental to her character. I don't buy her forgetting; she takes too much pride in what she does, before and after reforming. The girl who sang Embrace the Magic isn't going to forget she can teleport, and even if she did she wouldn't word it 'never got the hang of' because at that point I want her checked for a concussion or something.

Their workaround didn't add anything to the scene, but I know what you're thinking. But Sun, it wasn't padding; it set up to tension for the next scene because she couldn't escape. If anything though, thst scene can have more tension by having teleportation blocked by the same trap. After wasting precious seconds and power trying to escape on her own, she reached for the bridge, and her friends, as consciousness fades...

And that way, we're invested in the scene rather that reading it while thinking: umm... yeah, she certainly can teleport.

That suggestion aside, love the escalation of stakes here. The danger of what they're facing feels more serious this time. Nightmare isn't toying with them to try to break their wills; she's fine with killing them. Looking forward to next time!

[titanhades70]

8773659
Let's also face the fact that it's not the first time a pony forgot they can teleport. Remember the scene with the Hydra and the chasm in the series? And people were smacking their heads at the fact Twilight didn't just teleport?

Or even when Twilight just met Sunset when she stole her crown. The only thing Twilight could think to do was run after her and try to catch her with her mouth.

Or why would Sunset even need to go right up close to the table to levitate the crown. She could done it from the doorway.

This is well within the spirit of the show. It's just best not to question it.

[Sun Sage]

8773715
2 wrongs don't make a right. Throughout the entire movie I was saying 'you know you can teleport, right?' It was annoying there and it's annoying here.

Also, again, read it carefully. There's a huge difference between 'I forgot' which in the heat of the moment can happen, and 'I never got the hang of it' which implies she remembers trying and not succeeding to do so. Sorry, but she's either senile or it's a mistake by the author. ...Or an AU thing that's only serving to distract, which could also be called a mistake.

[titanhades70]

8773735
God, you just made me think of another problem with EQ Girls. Sunset knew where the mirror was and she had the crown. Why didn't she just teleport back to the room with the mirror. Even if it woke Twilight, she wouldn't have seen Sunset or seen Sunset going through the mirror.

Let's just say it. Sunset really isn't the smartest when she is a pony.

[Sun Sage]

8773758
Well, teleport range is a potential issue, but you make a valid point. Even short hops would be better than running. I get that the writers can't make it that easy or there's no tension ever... or the show gets too complicated for the target audience as magic has to counter magic and the show gets more cluttered. I figured it more she didn't want to risk magic (which is bright and occasionally noisy) during a theft, especially of a magical artifact from an alicorn. Who's to say what could wake her? If Sunset hadn't stumbled over Spike (a mistake of pride thinking she had already succeeded, playing to her character), she would have been gone, and would anypony even suspect the mirror portal? Hell, almost nopony even knew about it. Spike the hero..

Just saying the character is dumb is risky. She's Celestia's former student. Is it really believable that she's dumb because her plan didn't work in hindsight? It's the same here. I don't belelieve she'd say 'I never got the hang of teleporting'. To me, that's not Sunset Shimmer. It broke suspension of disbelief as I pondered why the story would attempt such a line. The show takes shortcuts for storylines, and we call them on it. Fanfic has far fewer constraints, and this particular shortcut doesn't seem to do anything (to my eyes) other than pull me out of the story to stare at it and go '...what?'

That said, dear author, if you're reading this, bear in mind my criticism of the scene only happens because I'm invested in the story as a whole. It's good work even with this little nitpick.

By the same token, titan, it's a pleasure discussing it with you... keeping me less bored at work

[titanhades70]

8773848
I enjoy it to.

You know, as much as I don't mind EQ Girls, the thing that bugged me the most is the time difference. Sunset was only on the human side for 2-3 years tops when she finally went back to Equestria. But on the Equestria side it was obvious at least 10 or more years passed. Twilight became Celestia's student when she got her cutie mark, so Sunset went through the mirror before this.

From the movies, we see time is passing at an equal rate between the two worlds. So there shouldn't be that big a time discrepancy I have in the above sentence.

Someone f**ked up here.

We really need a time line for this show, because if time is passing at an equal rate now, I am wondering how long the girls have been in high school now. Because judging by the comic she would have just entered high school, based on not looking much different from the way she looks in the movie, and this was years before the start of the MLP timeline. Now 7 seasons later, she and the girls are still in high school.

It's for the best that they keep it seperate from the MLP series canon. The timeline in EQ girls is just to f**ked up.

[Sun Sage]

8773885
Yeah I can't remember, did she come back after one cycle or maybe wait a couple? 3-ish years or a couple sets of same? I don't recall. Then again... thinking about that... I think about Celestia and Luna in that world and get a headache about those ages...

[titanhades70]

8773936
Going by the cycle. 30 moons, right? That would be about 2 and a Half years if you went by how we count moons.

So even if she waited 90 moons, it still doesn't sych up.

Yeah. And Celestia and Luna in the human world really do not make sense. Since as humans they should have died like 1000 years ago in the human world.

Yeah....

Then you throw in the Sirens.....

And why do the dragon doubles lose their sapience and are dogs, while Diamond Dog doubles are human. Unless Spike is the only dragon that has a dog as a counterpart. Meaning Spike really is just a pet...

[Sun Sage]

8773947
I just realized how off topic we are, so this'll be my last reply. Besides... While I wish I had an answer...

Twi and Spike are meant to be together. Not in a shipping sense, but a team. Adopted little brother woulda made more sense (Although other dragons being like timber wolves I could see, Spike is pretty domesticated by dragon standards), but then he couldn't follow her around and help easy. So... plot contrivance, not a good one but the one they went with.

Ugh, the Sirens. Yeah I got nothin, heheh. That was just... time wise...

Anyway, it's been fun, but we're off topic to the story and the author may not appreciate that. Besides, neither of us can explain EQG... i don't know that it can be done in universe. Enjoy your night, day, both, whichever. See ya next go round!

[Cold Bolt]

8772145
8772303
8773659

Clearly the answer is that details have changed due to this being an AU and it definitely hasn't been like an entire year since I last watched EQG1 and even if it wasn't I certainly would never forget a detail like that how can you insinuate such a thing I am deeply insulted how dare y

...

(I'm really glad you guys are enjoying the story in spite of my continuity errors. I'm not opposed to rewriting it, it wouldn't take too long... or should I leave it as-is?)

[Sun Sage]

8774033
Relaaaax. Yes we are clearly invested in the story, and with good reason. We seem split on how major an issue this is, but in the end: not very. Personally I think this part could be rewritten. Sunset teleports over, gets trapped. The trap, clearly tailored to her anyway, blocks teleportation. She can still reach out with telekinesis as she does to fix the bridge. From there, same story. If anything, a bit of mana burn from trying to port out could be useful later if the story needs them to rely more on each other than on their strong magical talents.

Edit: (was phone typing at work, and not on a break that time, so got cut off). That said, it's basically the same story from here either way. So if you'd prefer to focus on the story moving forward, I can't say I'd blame you. It was a nitpick, and yes a distraction, but in the grand scheme? The overall story is good either way.

[Cold Bolt]

8774044
Version 1.1 Patch Notes
>Fixed a bug that prevented Sunset's Teleportation from functioning.

Also, for the record, I do appreciate people pointing out stuff like this. The original scene went the way it did because I specifically did not recall seeing her teleport at any point, and thought it would be an interesting detail to touch on briefly. Turns out I goofed.

[Sun Sage]

8774375
As a frequent gamer, the wording there is appreciated . Since I'm in the middle of writing myself, I'll have to check out the change later tonight. Enjoy your day!

EDIT: Checked it out, liked it. Her line about 'no way she'd ever forget it' was particularly funny. Don't be too hard on yourself, but an occasional chuckle at one's own little stumbles is probably healthy.