Herro prease, I write good story, for grory of japanese empire!
How strange it is, how the stories meant to frighten children can leave the bravest colts quaking with fear. How odd, that the same stories can leave such an impression.
How weird it is, that they can break you down, until you are nothing but an empty shell of what you once were, or could have been.
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Ohhh Slender man heh, good 'ol' slendy' fics. Nice beginning.
1053386 or so I had you think! its not really slenderman, but it is a slight variation. gotta keep it fresh.
Very good start!
It was a decent start. If you want my advice, I would say to keep Celestia out of the loop for a while. It wouldn't do very well for the horror aspect to have Twilight come running to the most powerful being in the world right off the bat. Make sure you have a good conflict as well. Make it so that nopony believes Twilight about this slender figure. Make her feel helpless. That's how true horror is achieved.
Glorious, simply glorious, I can not wait to read more. This story was so much fun reading and I sincerely hope that it gets much, much worse before it gets any better.
Sincerely;
The Fictional Critic.
I'm picturing this creature as something similar to Slenderman and Jeff the Killer, quite an interesting combination.
I think I get the picture. I wish I hadn't because I'm shire it's gonna give me nightmares. I love this story but it needs more and longer chapters. I will keep in favorites
I'm scared
love the story and can't wait for more! I saw a few grammatical errors but no biggie
It's an alien from XCOM isn't it?! XD that'll ruin the mood "and then it reached into its coat pocket and pulled forth a glowing green massive gun and pointed it with one hand. The pony it pointed it at could say 'what the hay is tha' before being pelted with plasma and dying in mild confusion and only slight pain due to the quick death a super hot weapon being fired 7 times into a small face within the space of a second can bring". You may steal this abomination and put into anything you wish XD