• Member Since 24th Jun, 2014
  • offline last seen August 5th

SilverKaizoku


Heads or Tails...

E

Flash Sentry is Captain of the Ponyville Guard, personal bodyguard to Princess Twilight Sparkle, and a big brother to Scootaloo and First Base. One of these roles is harder than the others, and not even Flash's military training can help him with that.

Chapters (1)
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Comments ( 3 )

The story is a little rushed. The scene between Flash scolding Scootaloo and the transition to Flash meeting Big Mac seemed out of place. There needed to be some scenes in between cause it was confusing to suddenly have Flash mention that Scootaloo ran away.

A tiny bit rushed, yeah, but a good story.

Not a bad story. Might want to revisit it and work on the pacing. Either start at the farm with Flash looking for Big Mac and have Flash tell him about the time he sided with First Base without hearing Scootaloo out or show us multipl examples leading up Scootaloo running away then to Flash seeking Big Mac out. The latter would work better, show don't tell and all.

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