13 - A Change in Tactics
Lyra Heartstrings - Day 5
Roseanger Gorge - Mount Mercy, Wieav
Just like old times. A powerful phrase invoking a powerful force. Nostalgia often miscolors the past, giving people a brighter and happier image of what they truly lived through. Children remember how amazingly awesome their toy spaceship was, but forget their parents screaming at one another behind them while they were playing.
Just like old times! Lyra said to herself, grinning ear to ear as she galloped out from the dark cave towards the sounds of battle.
Nostalgia’s coloring wasn’t off today.
The ponies and dragons stopped at the edge of the cliffside the cave’s mouth rested on, looking far below to where the sounds of cannonfire rumbled like an especially angry avalanche. Lyra squinted, trying to force her eyes to take in the distant details of the mere specs below her.
Ugh… If only I were a pegasus, She grumbled, ears laying flat as she failed to make out anything below her. Or got turned by Vinyl instead of Bon… Wait, is my vampire vision work-- Yeah. Yeah it is. You checked your sheet expressly to find out if you had your powers too, Lyra. Stop being stupid.
“Looks like we need to get down there now. There's no way for them to fly out from under the ledge we parked under, and that army’s horseshoe formation’s got plenty of cannons,” Vinyl said casually.
Lyra gave Vinyl an irritated glare. “Show off!”
Vinyl rolled her eyes. “Hey, it’s not my fault the curse dilutes with each ‘generation’... Besides, I don’t have my glasses. I’m going to have the worst migraine in a little bit. So we’re even,” Vinyl said as she squinted to try and avoid looking at too many clouds at once.
“Do you need glasses?” Maru asked with worry. “I’ve got a few pairs of glasses Derpy used to use. Maybe her prescription is close?”
“They won’t help, but thanks for the offer,” Vinyl replied.
“She’s got an eye-thing where high contrast causes migraines and hallucinations. Unless she’s got colored lenses,” Lyra said explaining the condition of asfedia extremely poorly.
Veena hummed and looked across the scattered clouds hovering below them. “In that case, let’s get you below the clouds. Brown and green don’t contrast much,” the dragoness decided.
“That will help a bit,” Vinyl agreed, leaving out how her vampiric vision made just about everything high contrast for the sake of not worrying the dragon with something that couldn’t be helped.
“You three go ahead, it takes me a little bit to return to my proper size. I’ll join you shortly,” Maru said, sitting down and closing her eyes to focus on her sourcery.
Veena nodded, and stepped behind Vinyl. “Is it okay if I pick you up? There’s only room for one on my back.”
Vinyl nodded and Veena turned her head to face Lyra. “Okay, you get on my back then… And how durable are you guys? They’ll probably take a shot at us.”
Lyra giggled. “More than you’d think. Just keep your talons between Vi and the enemy and she’ll be fine.”
Vena frowned. “Uh, so… My sister was made extra durable by mom, but are you telling me that ponies can survive a headshot?”
“Nope. But vampire’s can,” Vinyl answered, offering the dragoness a wink and a fang filled grin.
Vena nodded, seemingly a bit relieved. “Good! Okay i need to fly keeping you covered chest and barrel, and keeping the enemy from getting a shot at you on my back… Where do we need to go? This could take a while.”
Lyra raised her left hoof. “I’m also a vampire, but way less powerful than Vi is.”
Veena’s lips pursed slightly as she looked between the two ponies for a few seconds. “Wait… Then… Vampiric creatures are uglier than their base species. How much more cute are you guys normally?” She asked before frowning. “Also, sun. You should go back in the cave!”
Vinyl rolled her eyes. “Different worlds, different rules. Clearly. The sun’s not a problem for us. I just can’t transform or use my full strength or speed while in the sun.”
Maru opened her eyes, completely distracted by the brief exchange. “Derpy can travel to other universes by getting lost, you’re both good aligned daywalking vampires, and your rulers are mortals who ascend to demigodhood. Are ANY ponies normal?”
Vinyl and Lyra shared a thoughtful look for a moment.
“I mean, sure?” Lyra said with a shrug. “Not in Ponyville, but yeah. There’s normal ponies out there.”
“There’s probably one in Ponyville,” Vinyl disagreed. “At least until the next big monster attack. Then they’ll probably save us all when nopony else can.”
Lyra nodded. “Oh yeah, good point!”
Veena suddenly coiled her tail around Lyra’s waist and tossed her onto the saddle built into her jetpack’s frame.
“We’re wasting time, keep your hooves clear of the jets. I’m fireproof, you’re not,” the dragoness said as she lifted Vinyl off the ground with her foreclaws as she bunched her hind legs up and opened her wings in preparation for flight. “Where are we going? You mentioned something about a ledge?”
“We sorta wound up having to steal the Dark Fortress, it’s parked under a ledge at the bottom of the mountain,” Vinyl explained.
Veena squinted slightly, the glowing shapes in her eyes shifting several times. “That one?” She asked, aiming Vinyl at a particular ledge far below.
“Yeah,” the white pony replied.
“Cool, we’ll be down in a few seconds,” Veena said, raising her wings to take off.
Lyra looked around the saddle she had been set upon. The saddle itself was very shallow, and little more than a slight depression in the pack’s back. It reminded her of the magnetic seats high speed air bikes used. Fortunately there was something of a ledge to rest her rear hooves on, and any pony’s hoof can grip a flat surface via their species innate magic.
“Uh, just take things a bit slow. I’m not sure how well I can stay on this thing,” Lyra asked politely, a little worried despite her decent grip on the smooth white metal.
Veena frowned. “Mmm, that’s right. That seat’s meant for use in space,” she mused, quickly formulating a new flight plan which didn’t involve a vertical dive.
“Wait, what?” Vi and Ly asked in unison.
Veena didn’t reply. Instead she jumped from the cliff, wings catching the air as she tilted downwards, entering a shallow dive. Lyra eeped, clinging tightly to the saddle as wind rushed past her head faster and faster with each passing second.
Don’t fall! Please don’t fall! Lyra pleaded with reality, her eyes starting to water as her mind decided to imagine what it would be like to bounce off the mountainside five kilometers below.
Veena pitched left, making a hairpin turn in order to zig zag down the mountainside. The sharp turn pulled Lyra away from the saddle, her grip only barely keeping her in place. Lyra yelped in fear, her cry lost to the winds.
<Sorry,> Veena apologised telepathically as she sensed Lyra’s distress. <Not used to riders. You’ll be okay if you fall off. There’s no oak steaks laying around down there.>
We can talk telepathically, Lyra remembered, sighing in relief. I can tell her to slow the buck down!
<You don’t need to pierce our hearts, just stop them. Electrocution or extreme impact will work just fine. So would a sharp rock.> Lyra informed.
<No aileron rolls. Understood,> Veena said, her mental voice sounding distant as she focused on further alterations to her flightplan, a tricky thing to do when one had no experience with riders in a gravity well.
Veena leveled out slightly, not that it changed much for Lyra. Her rear hooves skidded slightly as Veena entered her second turn. Gritting her teeth, Lyra managed to get a tight grip just before her hooves popped out of the narrow groove, mere millimeters of hoof, gripping on for dear life.
<I thought you said no aileron rolls!> Lyra yelped.
<Uh, that was a steep-turn,> the dragoness replied, more than a little confused. <An aileron roll involves me spinning around my longitudinal axis.>
<You need a seatbelt!> Lyra shouted decisively.
Veena smiled, banked to her left, and pitched down a few degrees, sliding down the mountainside in a more direct route. <That seat is magnetized.> Veena said politely.
<And if my hooves were metal that would mean something!> Lyra shot back.
Veena frowned, embarrassment making her cheeks flush red. <Sorry. I forgot other lifeforms are purely organic,> she said. <Is this path better?>
Lyra thought for a few moments. The wind pushing against her head and shoulders remained the same, but without the sudden g-spikes staying in the saddle was much easier.
<I think I can--> Lyra began to reply, stopping cold as a gut punching explosion went off below her.
“NO!” Lyra exclaimed fearfully, her eyes tracking the cloud of stone shards. We’re too late! The airships blew it up!
Then a deep voice said something. The words were lost to the wind around her head, but Lyra knew they had to be intimidating as the assembled army broke formation, abandoning their equipment to run.
<Good! They can fight back,> Lyra said in relief.
<More like “entirely route”,> Veena noted. <What in the world could they have fired that’s-->
Veena’s answer came in the form of a brilliant white beam of light which blasted out from beneath the ridge and obliterated the distant airships, whiting out her vision in the process.
“GAAA!” The dragoness yelped, her helmet tinting darker a fraction of a second too late.
Acting on instinct, Veena opened her claws to rub her eyes. Vinyl dropped like an anvil.
The white mare twisted mid air, in equine grace on full display as she lashed out with her rear left leg, her hoof finding a tenuous grip on Veena’s belly. That grip lasted but a second before the next flap of Veena’s wings jolted her free, and Vinyl was free falling yet again, too shocked to scream.
Despite being dazzled by the light herself, Lyra saw Vinyl’s fall out of the corner of her eye. The minty mare let go of her saddle, immediately sliding along Veena’s back, then tail, twisting as she went. Lyra stretched out her right hoof, desperately reaching for her friend, her hofo missing by a hair's breadth.
Lyra’s eyes widened with horror as Vinyl shot past all hope of her reach. Vi looked back into Lyra’s eyes, her red eyes holding a mixture of fear and forgiveness.
“FUCK!” Veena screamed as she suddenly realized what she’d just done.
Veena spread her wings to slow down in preparation for turning to go back for her dropped passenger. Her wings caught the air, billowing as she slowed to a near stop. Not that it would matter, Vinyl would hit the ground before the dragoness vision was clear enough to grab a pony out of the air.
I’ve got one chance! Lyra realized as Vinyl began to approach them again.
Lyra stood up, her hooves barely able to find purchase on Veena’s plot, and sprinted down the length of Vee’s tail. Years of working together at last paid off in this strange world as Vinyl spread herself flat, catching as much air as possible to slow her fall even more.
The moment Lyra began to run out of tail, she dropped flat, clenching her hind legs around the last meter of dragon tail like a rope, and reached out as far as she could with both hooves.
Vinyl reached out as well. Their hooves grew ever closer, but each sway of Veena’s tail threatened to wrench them apart.
Then…
I have magic again, Lyra raised, her horn glowing gold as she simply snatched Vinyl out of the air with her arcane grip and pulled her into her forelegs.
“Gotcha!” Lyra said with a grin.
“Did you forget you had magic?!” Vinyl laughed nervously, her eyes still closed with a hint of fear.
“I was playing a non-caster,” Lyra apologised, her ears drooping with embarrassment. <Vee! I got her, we’re on your-->
<Tail. Yes. I know. Kinda hurts, hang on,> The dragoness commanded before swiftly curling her tail inwards to grab each mare with a single claw. “Sorry! My total bad!” She yelled above the winds.
“It’s okay! You got flash banged,” Vinyl yelled back. “Anypony would have-- Wait, what?!”
The Dark Fortress stepped out from beneath the ledge, resting atop the back of a colossal red robot which seemed to be half built, and designed from a young colt’s math book doodles. While it was now clear what had made the fleeing army rout, a new question arose.
“How the buck did Sky pull that off?!” Lyra demanded of reality. “He doesn't have his replicator factory here! I CALL HACKS!”
“Shut up! He’s our teammate!” Vinyl said with an urgent widening of her eyes.
“That-- That’s the worst mecha ever! How is it not falling over?” Veena asked, nearly dropping out of the air as the electronic portions of her mind suddenly became solely occupied with physics calculations.
The impossible robot began to float upwards, very slowly. No thrusters fired. No mystical energy field glowed beneath it’s hilariously oversized feet. It simply drifted upwards like a balloon a filly let go of.
Chem’s amplified voice pierced the distance between them, coming in faintly, but clear enough to be understood. “Uh… There’s supposed to be rockets…” He said with embarrassment dripping from every syllable.
The lazy obviously fake movement caught the eye of a few soldiers, those who had chosen to fight to the death rather than flee. Those who manned the ground based cannons opened fire once more, prompting their fleeing comrades to either run faster, or turn around...
Vinyl put a hoof over her mouth, holding back a laugh despite the dire situation.
“Oh, Chem did it. That makes much more sense,” Lyra said with a little nod.
“Well this is magical...” The Wizard sighed defeatedly. “Stupid illusion school physics bugs. Did Bethesda program this universe, or something?”
Veena looked at the Dark Fortress closely, her brows arching as she formulated a plan. “It really is built on Draconic technology,” she said to herself.
“WAIT! I can fix this,” Chem exclaimed, the melancholy evaporating from his amplified voice in an instant. “I have to go now. My planet needs me!”
The illusory robot continued to drift upwards, just as the army continued to rally. Half of the spider-golems had turned around, forming a scattered wall of artillery positions around which infantry gathered into loose formations. The loose knots of troops were nothing in comparison to the grand show of force they had abandoned previously, but that mattered little when their cannons were still in range.
The golden spiders angled upwards, spitting steel at the fortress. It’s ancient walls groaning and crumbling behind the illusion making it.
“If we can get to it, I can probably get the engines running,” Veena said decisively. “I’m going to dive for the roof, get ready to jump! I’ll need all four talons to land.”
“WOAH! Hold the phone, you’re going to THROW us?” Lyra asked her heart skipping a beat.
“No, I’m going to literally drop you off on the roof. Don’t worry, I’ll make a hole!” The Dragoness replied as she entered a steep dive.
“The engines are shot!” Vinyl shouted over the roar of air whipping past them. “Sky spent a week trying to fix them!”
“Is it using the ‘Engines’ now?” Veena shouted back.
“Um, yeah!” Vinyl replied with an eyeroll.
“Those are maneuvering thrusters, not engines,” Veena laughed.
The three plunged dowards like a rock sinking through water. The Fortress seemed to grow larger and larger as it approached with each passing moment. As the keep’s upper floor grew closer, Lyra could see through it’s glass walls.
Chem was seated in the central throne, the air around him full of glowing arcane symbols as he feverishly scrambled to cast a spell. Sky stood in front of a console, rapidly punching in commands, only for large red symbols to flash in response.
Then, moments before Veena could touch down, they saw it. A flash of black moving up towards the keep. Lyra turned her head, making out the shape of a black dragon somewhat larger than Veena flying towards them at a remarkable speed, an armored rider strapped to a much safer saddle on its back.
<Veena, they’ve got a dragon too!> Lyra warned. <Down and to the left.>
Veena turned her head slightly, just enough to see the approaching threat without looking away from the keep’s roof. <I see him, thank you.>
Lyra took a deep breath and did herbest to clear the fear-fog from her mind. I’m a pony again. I have my magic again. I can shoot that dragon if I have too.
Veena pitched down even further, practically falling to the rooftop below before flaring her wings and slowing to a stop, letting go of VInyl and Lyra as her rear claws smashed into the stonework, dropping them a meter or so before letting her foreclaws touch down as well.
Lyra hit the ground and jumped to the side, turning to get line of sight on the black dragon, wondering if Veena had a plan or if she would need to improvise.
Vinyl did much the same, but rather than ready a blast from her horn, the white mare simply picked up a bit of stone Veena’s landing had broken off, and got ready to throw. The sunlight may have sapped her strength, but even at the level of a ‘below average’ earth pony a humble rock is lethal indeed.
But Veena did have a plan. She reared up and flexed her left foreleg deploying the screen of her wrist computer with the gesture before holding her claw out in a gesture which screamed ‘stop in the name of the law’, especially as a holographic badge flicked into existence between her talons.
“Stand down, civilian!” Veena bellowed. “This is a Ranger operation.”
Lyra clenched her teeth. That is SO not going to wor--
The black dragon’s wings flared as he slowed down, his tail lashing in a mixture of surprise, relief, and anger.
“I’m not a civilian, I’m a Rider!” The dragon replied indignantly. “This-- This MONSTER nearly killed a goddess! You’ll need help. I’m older and more experienced than--”
Veena lowered her left foreleg, her badge projection vanishing as she did so, and raised her right, tilting her talon down to clear the back of her foreleg.
“You’ve got a Guest on your back. This operation is classified. Clear this airspace, civilian! Final warning,” Veena said, narrowing her eyes.
<Guest?> Lyra couldn’t help but ask, her inner conspiracy theorist's ears perking up at the odd name given to a rider.
<Later,> Veena shushed.
The black dragon bared his fangs, obvious anger shining in his eyes. “He’s trustworthy. He can keep quiet about--”
Veena’s wrist dipped slightly further and a bright blue ray shot from her right gauntlet, striking the other dragon in his chest where it blossomed into a crackling web of lightning, seemingly holding the black dragon in place.
“Stun setting. Nice.” Vinyl said with a nod before frowning. “Uh, shouldn't he fall?”
“Temporal Deceleration Ray,” Veena corrected as she turned her weapon towards the rooftop. “Human invention. Traps the target in a bubble of frozen spacetime for about an hour. Nothing in there can experience time, so he’ll just stay pinned there till it wears off.”
Veena twitched a finger, and Lyra noticed a small light on her right gauntlet change from blue to red, then green.
“Um… You know cutting into the room probably isn’t the best idea,” Lyra cautioned, her ears laying back. “Sky will probably shoot us.”
“Yeah,” Vinyl agreed. “But we can’t tell how much damage those cannons have done. We don’t have time to go in the front door and run up. Besides, the door should be locked.”
“Point,” Lyra admitted.
“They heard us land,” Veena added. “They’ll come out to shoot. They don’t know we’re friendly.”
Before Lyra could protest further, Veena fired. Her weapon unleashed simple green pulse of light almost identical to a camera flash, and a square section of the roof collapsed in a wave of sand-like particles amid a small puff of rancid smoke.
“Ceiling breach,” a female voice warned.
Who is-- Oh yeah! Sky’s gun. Lyra thought to herself before a volley of purple energy bolts blasted through the impromptu skylight, forcing Veena to pull her head back from the hole, only narrowly avoiding getting shot.
“SUPPRESSING FIIIIIIRE!” Sky yelled over Sheila’s rapid fire cracks.
Lyra dropped flat to the roof and crawled to the edge of the hole, stopping well before she would have been visible through it.
“It’s us, you idiot! I finally got my dragon,” Lyra shouted as loudly as she could.
“Also, the really big dragon forced us back into our pony bodies,” Vinyl added. “Apparently that didn’t break the rules, cuz we didn’t ask her too.”
Sky was silent for a moment debating what he could do to trust that he was really speaking to his friends.
“Scale of one to ten, how energetic is my wife?” Sky asked at last.
“You can’t measure Pinkie Pie,” Lyra snorted dismissively.
“Yep, it’s them,” Sky said with a relieved sigh.
“We don’t need a roof based evac quite yet,” Chem called loudly. “But thank you! There’s still a slight chance we can get above their cannon’s range and save the fort before--”
The mountain trembled as Maru the Colossus returned to her full size, her meditations finally complete. In but two steps, the immense dragoness reached the fortress, and leaned over it, speaking in a whisper to avoid deafening the tiny people atop it’s roof.
“Sorry that took so long, sweetie. Get your friends inside, I’m going to move this fort someplace safe,” Maru informed in a whisper carefully calculated to not reach the army below.
Maru simply grabbed the fortress with her left foreclaw, and turned her neck to look into the command room window.
Lyra dropped through the hole, followed by Vinyl and Veena a moment later. The minty mare entered just in time to see Maru’s eye quite literally fill the view out the entire wall-window as the dragoness moved her head into position.
“Hello,” Maru greeted, looking Chem in the eye.
“AAAAAAAAAAAAA!” Chem and Sky replied, recoiling in their seat and dropping their weapon respectively.
“Ow…” Sheila said as she slid under the weapons console.
“YEAH!” Vinyl exploded, vindicated glee spreading across her space as she pointed to Maru out the window. “See?! She’s scary up close. You two can say you’re sorry any time now!”
Lyra rolled her eyes. “Oh come on guys, she’s got a Whinneysotan accent. She’s harmless.”
Maru chuckled, a rumbling sound which shook the fortress only slightly less than a small earthquake would have.
“I’m not going to hurt you, boys. Far from it. My itty bitty teeny little girl is in there, don’tcha know. Now, where are you headed? I’ll give you a little push.” Maru offered politely.
Sky gulped, took a deep breath, and then cleared his throat. “T-the Tomb of Arrex. That’s where the list says we can get a subspace… Thingie,” Sky replied.
Maru nodded twice. “That’s a little bit up north I think. Do you have directions? Compass coordinates would do.”
“Yeah… Just uh, hold on.” Sky said as he nodded and quickly pulled NaN’s instructions from his pockets. Turning the pages nervously until he found the page he and Chem ahd plotted out their flightpath on.
“So uh, are you just going to carry this keep over there, mom?” Veena asked curiously. “Because I’m pretty sure I can get the engines turned on. This place is an antique, but not like, a ruin.”
“It’s uh, we need to head north by seventeen degrees,” Sky answered, his fear quickly fading thanks to the dragoness’s polite voice. “For about a four hundred kilometers.”
Maru’s eye rotated, pointing at Veena. “I’d like too help in that way, dear, but I need to defend my mountain. So I need to make this look good,” her eye rotated back to Sky. “Four hundred what?”
“Kilometers,” Sky answered.
“I don’t know what those units are,” Maru apologised, her voice still in her carefully calibrated whisper. “But I’m certain I’ll get you a good ways closer.”
Lyra blinked, realizing in one terrifying moment exactly what Maru intended. “Please don’t th--”
Too little, too late. Maru reared up, still holding the fortress with one claw. Then, to the horror of everyone on the command deck, the Dragoness hefted the fortress up against the base of her neck, turned in a quick circle, and launched the fortress northwards with a world class shot put throw.
The army below heard what both they and Lyra believed were the Dark Lord’s last words as the fortress vanished into the distance with the speed of an arrow as Sky screeched, “YOU’RE A DIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIICCCCK!!”
Day 8
Royal Palace - Jira, Wieav
Captain Jago stood at the center of an elliptical room deep within the Royal Palace. The Kobold couldn’t help but feel extra small as a thousand sets of eyes burned into him, each of them holding a measure of contempt, but most going beyond mere contempt and entering the realm of hatred.
It would not have been so bad if those eyes had not belonged to the members of Parliament, as well as their majesties, the Queens.
Wieav’s two Queens sat upon their thorns, one silver, one gold. The golden throne belonged to Queen Niiquaria, and was a traditional Arakan armchair such as could be found in most any home, only fashioned from gold and padded with a purple velvet cushion. The Silver throne was more of a large dais for Queen Honeth to lay upon, and was padded with an innumerable amount of stuffed animals sent to her by admirers.
Queen Niiquaria of Huntsmen: a small but exceptionally gracefull, mostly ivory, Arakan woman who had taken the throne for herself a century ago. Not by might, not by bargain, but by cunning and the support of the then starving peasant hoards. To anger her was to anger the commoners, and to anger them was to be found in eight different rubbish bins across three cities a week later, and know your murderers would be given a royal pardon.
Queen Honeth the Gold: a sleek, bookish, extra shiny gold scaled dragoness who looked like the sort of woman who would shyly scrunch into a corner of a coffeeshop when someone passed too close by her and hide her face in her book. Honeth had quite literally asked if she could be Queen too as a joke, and been given a half the Queen’s power by Niiquaria herself, as well as Parliament. Why? Araka find dragons to be adorable beyond measure, and due to fact that Honeth was cute as a button, even by the standards of jaded and hate filled individuals who can no longer see anything good in the world. No Araka could resist her polite requests. They would rather set a puppy on fire.
As far as the Dragons were concerned, Wieav was Honeth’s hoard. A sentiment she shared. One should never damage a dragon’s hoard. Especially not when that hoard gave the dragon even more nice gifts.
Queen Niiquaria leaned forwards, her white body glistening nearly as much as her throne beneath the parliamentary chamber’s crystal lamps.
“Captain Jago,” the Queen said, her voice firm and commanding as she issued a proclamation. “In the opinion of this emergency court, as well as Our Majesties, you have failed our nation in a time of great need. Command over Our forces is hereby stripped from you.”
Queen Honeth nodded in agreement. “However, we cannot find you guilty of incompetence,” the dragoness began, her adorably squeaky voice bringing a quick grin to every Akara in the room. “Your training is as a Rider, and while you were loaned to our military service to serve as a Captain, that function was based strictly on your historic record at managing the logistics and finances of a fortress.
“It was never Our intention to send you into proper battle, merely to have you fill an empty slot within our Officer Ranks, until a suitable candidate had been found to replace you.”
Jago nodded once. “Yes, Your Majesties. I have not forgotten the purpose of my service.”
“We believe differently,” Queen Niiquaria said firmly, her loose black hair shaking as she trembled with barely contained rage. “Your Rank as a Captain allowed you to call upon Us for reinforcements. Your duties as Fort Captain required you to respond to the Dark Lord’s return. You were not required, nor was it desired, that you leave your post and march inland in pursuit.
“At present, Fort Helm is unmanned. COMPLETELY unmanned. Fort Helm was to serve as a rallying point for our navy in the event of his return. It took a coalition of all major nations to stop him last time, Captain. You were supposed to dig in, fortify, and ensure we had one functional port at which our allies could rendezvous and plan a proper military countermeasure. Do you know what happened while you were marching inland, Captain?”
Jago closed his eyes in shame, and shook his head. “No, Ma’am. I do not. But I had specifically requested Captain Harrol to defend the Fort in my stead, as his craft can not go ashore, even if treaties allowed him to do so.”
The Queens shared a brief look, then Queen Honeth took over, preventing her best friend from exploding in public.
“The Sea Dragon is not legally authorised to protect our ports, Captain,” the Dragon informed. “The Numericans are allowed only to patrol our waters and take action against pirates. While a noble could have authorised them to protect the fort, you do not have that privilege.
“But there’s a deeper problem. Had the Sea Dragon been able to hold Port Helm, all would be forgiven. However, shortly before you engaged the Dark Lord at Safeton, a pirate fleet lead by the Dread Pirate Skalagrim decided to take Fort Helm. The Sea Dragon was in poor condition, and with NaN currently… Caged by her Divine Grace, they were unable to repel the pirates and were forced to retreat.
“We have lost our only military port which isn’t attached to the mainland. Any port we choose as our base of operations now will not only be assailable from land, but will have a railroad leading to it, or to a nearby settlement. Your actions have greatly diminished our ability to strike back.”
Jago’s tail drooped till it lay upon the floor. “I am sorry… I will not protest your decision. I have failed. I will return to the Stronghold, and await your orders.”
The disgraced Kobold stood still, waiting for the Queens to dismiss him. Instead, Queen Niiquaria looked Jago directly in the eyes, her normally pale red upper body darkened by genuine anger.
“Do you know how our military works, Captain?” the Queen asked. “How we distribute defense duties to our generals?”
Jago shook his head. “No, Ma’am.”
“Each of our cities are supposed to train and offer two generals to the Crown. One general is assigned to that city in order to defend it, the other is brought here to serve Us as a sword,” the Queen explained icily. “At the moment, a combination of due to age, corruption scandals, training failures, and other problems within the ranks, the crown has but ONE sword.”
Queen Honeth gave Queen Niiquaria a worried look. “Nii… Please,--”
“We can not reassign a shield to be another sword, he would take notice and a city would burn. We have but two choices, march out ourselves to meet the Dark Lord in combat, or dispatch General Linan,” Queen Niiquaria growled.
Jago flinched. “She… She wasn’t discharged?” He asked tentatively.
“NO! She wasn't. Because she didn’t actually violate any orders, break any laws, or otherwise perform an action which permits her dismissal… Besides, she’s good at her job,” Queen Niiquaria lamented. “Parliament has voted, and has decided it is too risky to the nation for me to take the field personally.”
“Oh…” Jago said in the unmistakable tone of a man who knew he had fucked up in a fantastic fashion.
“You are dismissed, Captain,” Queen Honeth sighed.
Day 8
The FUNGEON! - D’klon, Wieav
General Linan of Huntsman sat in the near pitch darkness of her personal quarters. The light of but one dim candle shone within the room, illuminating half a dozen X-frame torture racks just enough for the crimson clad Arakan woman to see the people strapped into each of them as she sat upon her mattress, humming happily as she sharpened the last scalpel in her bloodletting kit.
Her victims were blinded by various contraptions, but not a one was gagged. Each restrained in ways which gave the general different avenues of approach, different challenges to solve. Each of her victims would be screaming in the end, and each would provide her with a unique satisfaction. And together, with a most delightful harmony.
“Almost done sweeties,” she sang happily as she tested the extra fine blade on her thumbnail. “Ray’lil? I believe you were first, yes? Let’s start with your breasts. See where we can go from there…”
The door exploded open, smashing into the stone wall as it swung open almost as violently as the hallway’s light smashed into the General’s eyes. A soldier stood in the doorway, filling it entirely with his plate-armor clad body. The burnished steel shining almost as much as his teeth as he smiled.
“Ma’am! The Queen’s say we get to go kill things!” The soldier said excitedly, bobbing a little too energetic.
The General’s eyes light up like those of a child given a piece of candy bigger than their head. “We get to kill things?” She asked eagerly.
The soldier nodded. “We’re to engage the Dark Lord at the Tomb of Arrex,” he reported.
The General squeed, dropping the bloodletting kit in her excitement as she jumped up to grab her other blades. Her victims on the other hand all whimpered in disappointment.
The Genera’s heart went out to her poor harem. Turning her head to her trooper she nodded towards her various boy and girlfriends. “Could you move them to my airship, please?” She asked before picking up her bandoleer of various cutty things then turning to face them. “It’s okay, we’ll finish on the way over! If we fly a bit slow the’re still be plenty of time for aftercare and cuddles.”
The soldier frowned. “But won't that give the Dark Lord time to raze Arrex?” He asked.
The General shrugged dismissively. “Probably. But it’s not like that village is going to survive anyways. If we don’t go he’ll kill them all to make an undead army, blah blah blah… If we do go, we’ll arrive and he’ll use its citizens to raise an undead army to defend himself with. Same result either way. We fight a bunch of already dead things that will be all boring because they dont scream, and I’ll get all grump.”
“It’s okay, we’ll be there when you’re done,” one of the Generals harem-mates offered soothingly, and with genuine love in his voice.
She trotted over and kissed her bound lover on the cheek. “Thanks, sweetie. You’re the best. I'll see you all in a few minutes!”
The General ran out of her quarters to tell her troops the news. Within mere minutes the entire fortress of sadists was in good spirits, and sending love letters to the Queens thanking them for letting them go kill things.
Meanwhile, in their private room at the Palace in Jira, Queen Niiquaria held her head in her hands and groaned as her bedroom floor quickly became covered with envelopes addressed to her via what she sincerely hoped was red ink.
“Why did we decide to put all the sadists into the same Legion?” She moaned.
Her fellow Queen gently patted her on the back with a claw. “It seemed like a good idea at the time… Besides, you did say that she could have anything for her birthday. It’s not your fault she asked for a town for herself and people like her. And what can we do after all this time? They’d be all sad if we broke them up now and they only hurt each other… Consensually, might I add,” Honeth said with a sigh.
“It was the worst idea I’ve ever had,” Niiquaria groaned, rubbing her temples. “And you’re right. If we break them up now they will probably revolt. You don’t just give someone an army of people who share their interests and a whole village of people who also share their interests to rule over, then take that from them!”
“You still got all of them out of the public’s eye without killing them all. The nobility is still grateful for that all these years later,” Honeth reminded.
“Her victory dinner is still going to be an absolute disaster. That’s the best case scenario. Worst case, she dies,” Niiquaria lamented, pushing her bangs out of her eyes.
“It will be fine, Nii,” Honeth sighed. “Linan is a very skilled warrior. If she gets to the Dark Lord before he raises an army she’s certain to win.”
“No it won't be fine! Do you not remember how she brought her lovers with her to her last victory dinner? WITHOUT taking them off those damn racks?!” The Queen demanded. “Best case scenario she brands the medal we give her into one of her lover’s skin while on stage to accept the award! She’s a psychopath!”
Honeth sighed. “We can’t choose our sisters.”
“Well, we SHOULD be able too!” Niiquaria shot back before standing up and stepping over to her door to lean out into the hallway, kicking the now ankle deep pile of letters out of her way with each step. “Servent! Please come help us get rid of all these letters!”
Sky Trigger - Day 8
Northern Plains - Wieav
Sky looked up from the dining hall table where he and Veena had sat down to lunch. Something weighed heavily on his mind. Something he needed to make absolutely certain the white dragoness knew.
Setting aside his sandwich, Sky cleared his throat. Ready to impart his wisdom.
“You’re mom’s a dick,” Sky said adamantly before returning his attention to his bologna sandwich.
Veena sighed. “Three hundred and ninety seven…” She muttered under her breath, updating her count before looking up from her plate of assorted fruit snacks to give the engineer a dry look. “It’s been two days, Sky. We survived. No one got hurt. Get over it.”
Sky nodded sagely. “You’re mom’s a dick,” he said, taking a bite out of his sandwich. “Three hundred and ninety eight.”
Veena updated her count. “Thank you.”
“You’re welcome,” Sky said after finishing chewing. “Oh, and-”
“Yeah, I know. My mom’s a dick,” Veena sighed, rolling her eyes.
“Actually, I wanted to know if you’d help me get the weapons online again before we arrive at the Tomb tomorrow,” Sky corrected with a friendly smile.
Veena nodded and offered Sky a friendly smile. “Sure. Glad too.”
“Oh,” Sky added with a serious look. “And your mom is a dick.”
“I KNOW, OKAY?!” Veena erupted angrily.
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She's a dick, don'tcha know...
Headcanon get.
A whole legion of sadists, huh? Well, certainly characters I'm probably not going to forget any time soon...
You know there might be a pattern in Sky's dialogue at the end, but I'm not sure.
This chapter had many many laughs.
Yeah Chem, your planet does need you, but thrusters would be nice. You should write a formal complain to Null for her to fix buggy magic!
Wait, why would Lyra's dragon have a magnetic saddle? Did the dragons actually forget other races are not metallic or is she that kinky?
So, space jet packed dragon had stun and destination settings. Can she make popcorn too?
NO ONE CAN MEASURE THE PONK!!!
All ponies with the slightest normalcy were breed out of ponyville genetic pool some ten generations back. Celly denies having a hoof in that, but you can see that glint in her eyes.
Nah Sky, momma dragon is no dick. A truly cavernous cunt, on the other hand...
If those are maneuvering thrusters... Is it a DRAGON SPACE FORTRESS!?!
8765235 But only laughs? Hummm, next time I'll have to write something you'll like better.
8765265
non-draconic Rangers are always in suits because space, and thus can be magnetized to saddles if they have need of a lift from a Draconic ally.
SUre, but so can anyone. SHe's got stun, kill, and "breach a section of hull". That's it. Everything you need for space copping. The diintigrate function dosn't work on organic matter, BTW.
This is not true. There's always one normal pony in Ponyville. Then they ahve an adventure and become not-normal, allowing a new pony to move into town. This is the Second Law of Ponyville Weirdness Magnetism.
The fort is built atop an "old draconic ranger station" to quote the earlier chapter. The Rangers are spacecops. You do the math :P
8765362
OK, I'll bite, what are the other (at least) two?
SPAAAAAAAAAAAAACE FORTREEEEEEESS!!!!!
8765408
1. If it would be weird, it will happen in Ponyville. Despite that making it normal.
2. There is always one normal pony in Ponyville.
3. Invoking a narrative trope in Ponyville leads to shenanigans in direct proportion to the absurdity of the trope vs real life.
Is the dread pirate skallagrim a reference to the youtube channel
Sorry Lyra, you are Lyra not Skyra.
Harsh.
Space!
Heh.
Oops. Well, she's a vampire, I'm sure she'll be fine.
This other dragon ridee is really going to be wondering why this is suddenly a Ranger operation.
Oh man, the giant dragon is going to just full on throw the fortress, isn't she.
Nice.
Oooo, so it is generally known what and who happened to NaN. That may indicate who the target is of the invasion the engineers guild is planning.
I have concerns about this General Linan.
8765362 Well I mean, I could have went into extensive detail about what I enjoyed as I always do, but it was like 5:30 in the morning after a long 9 and a half hour shift lol. I was too tired to type much.
8765822 Nope. Totally isn't. And if you suggest otherwise I've got a pommel and I'll End You Rightly!
8766023 Nonsense! You hated it! Dictate unto me thy dream chapter, my Patreon!
8766016
Everyone does... But since she likes killing things without being in trouble for it she's careful to never commit an atrocity which would get her fired. Which is why she's the only general left at the moment.
1 ... Bajillion
You still make the best story's i couldn't putt this down if I tried (I tried an failed
) please continue your awesomeness as I eagerly await the next chapter
DEZ BITCHES NERDY! YEET!
8765265
More like that doom fortress gifted to that Ultrasmurf by Khorn