Twilight attempts to get herself fired from a retail job. It's harder than it looks.

Especially since she's a princess.

Featured on 11/30/17! Oh my stars, thank you all so much!

Chapters (3)
Comments ( 57 )

You should really quit your job and find another if you hate it enough to write a story about it. Who knows, you might find another job you feel passionate about.

Thank you for your concern, but I don't actually hate my job that much, and even if I did, I'd rather have a job that I don't like than not have a job, because, unlike Twilight, I'm not rich. ^^

And I'm passionate about writing. I hope you enjoy it!

I liked the bear. Nice touch.

dude this speaks to me on such a direct level i really wonder if you're me

This is just the laugh I needed.

Oh my god, I was in stitches over this! Noticed that "Pinot noir" thing you snuck in there, too--and I always love a reference I can catch.
Also, I really want to know what happens if you puke into telekinesis now.

I'm surprised she didn't just burn the place down. Can't have a job if there's no place to work.

Thanks. While I was writing it, I typo'd it as "beer" and got really confused when rereading it. :twilightsheepish:

I am you, you are me. You've found me out- or was it me who found you out?

This is why I write. I'm proud that I made you smile! Your comments brightened my day!

Bonus chapter: Harry the Bear has too much beer.

Starlight going to the Empire to be another princess's student? You should hope that would happen because then you'll have stuff to do again Twilight!

The part at the end where Twilight was like, "Lwet's find out for swicence! One... Twoo-" Lol I died of laughter

And then there is that one pony that just wont stop complaining about everything at the store. Especially that time they hired an Alicorn that turned the place on its head because the manager was too scared to fire her, much less punish her for the crazy stuff she did.


Hello? Feature box? :trollestia:

Everything I've ever read about retail and customer service makes me glad that I've never been forced to take to those kinds of jobs.

Loved this fic! Can really associate with the patience of the manager...well, not really😅 Look forward to reading more by this great author...

I didn't know I needed this in my life. Until now.

Wait... what DOES happen if you puke into telekinesis?

Huh. I'm doing retail as an off-duty gig. Its only saving grace is that it has fsck-all to do with my day job. Liked and fav'ed

I'd like to think it gets hyper-accelerated to three times the speed of sound the nanosecond it touches the magic field.

:raritystarry: Spikey? Your work here finished?
:moustache: Yeah, I'm still talking with the manager
:twilightangry2: Fire me!
:moustache: what?
:twilightsheepish: fire me!
:trollestia: Twilight what are you doing here? Nice of you to visit.... Cake?

:moustache: The owner has a new lower price, We're right about Twilight.
:duck: Yes my Spikey Wikey after we get Twilight to apply to the other stores we can expand my fashion empire!
:pinkiehappy: And only Auntie Pie knows!

this is awesome and 100% accurate. :heart::twilightsmile:

again 100% accurate. awesome story.

Love it. Amazing job, had me laughing my ass off.

But....NOW where am I supposed to go to find out HOW Harry got a Reward Card?!

So I STILL don't know who thought it was a good idea to give Harry a Rewards Card, and why they did it! INQUIRING MINDS NEED TO KNOW!!

... and Starlight Glimmer moved out to go be Cadance’s student instead?

Twilight resisted the urge to giggle and rub her hooves together evilly.

Twilight’s manic laughter echoed off of the store’s walls.

In proper mentor-student relationship mentor ends up learning from student almost as much as student from mentor.

The trick is to teleport the vomit away as it leaves your mouth. Take care where you send it.

re-organize it by color, size, and style.
re-organize it by color, size, and style.
re-organize it by color, size, and style.


Someone could do an entire story with this.
It had simply too much potential.

The Diamond Dogs send their sincere thanks, with compliments to the chef.

Meanwhile, Starswirl the Bearded is still trying to make sense of the strange puddle that appeared in front of his brand new house in Canterlot.
It seems unlikely to explode... Could it be a message? He definitely spend way too much time trapped on limbo, and has no idea how to react to this.

Shoo-be-doo! Shoo-shooGack! Cough! What the Fluke did I just swim into?!

I hope Harry discovers how to use his Rewards card. Gotta get that savings.

Well that was something. A fun way to spend a lunch break.

I cannot beat that. It's simply too much.

I know her pain too well. I wish my resignation from my retail job was that smooth.

:rainbowlaugh: This story is funny as hell, I love it. Have a follow and I'll be looking at your other work as well.

A good start.

crazy as Pinkie Pie


I did intent to have 


Could the mare at least use the coupon code?

In many places, we'd need to scan the barcode, and not just know the online discount code. If you have the coupon, great, scan it. But you can't just say the online code like some secret code and the cashier will nod sagely at you and go "ah, yes, you know the secret phrase, you may get a discount."


So wait... are fluttershy AND Rarity her marefriends...???? I thought it was jusst one.... now I'm kinda confused..

I had a good time with this! :rainbowlaugh:

Yup! Both are her marefriends.
Aw, thank you so much!
Thanks! I hope you enjoy it as much as you liked this one! :twilightsmile:

This was so much fun! Thank you for sharing it with us.


This was hilariously awesome.... I wish I could get away with half the stuff Twi tried to pull.... though do feel sorry for the manager. Still, be glad Twilight, you can just quit that soul sucking hell hole and still have money to live off of.

"Annoucing it over the loudspeaker" Rarebear, gonna have to disagree. That's a brilliant idea and worked fantastically for me.

Bloody fantastic story, I love the portrayal of Twilight here.

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