Sparkling Lemons

TTwilight Sparkle and Lemon Hearts Love Life
MLP: FiM
Romance
Comedy
Slice of Life
The adventures/misadventures of Twilight Sparkle's and Lemon Hearts's love life
Twilight
Other
Lemon Hearts
Ace Pony Stories · 3.8k words · 724 views

After finding her old friend Lemon Hearts at her front door Twilight finds out that she broke up her boyfriend earlier that evening.

Chapters (1)

Comments ( 7 )

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Culture_Shock

Culture_Shock #1 · Dec 2nd, 2017 · · ·

Interesting story and good work with a random ship. But you should really do some editing, A lot of the dialogue seems jumbled where one person says one thing just after the other.

Ace Pony Stories

Ace Pony Stories #2 · Dec 2nd, 2017 · · ·

8584354
Thank you I'll take that in to consideration

(And the thing about the ship I chose it because Lemon Hearts was the one out of Twilight's friends I hadn't seen her shipped with)

Culture_Shock

Culture_Shock #3 · Dec 2nd, 2017 · · ·

8584383
Meh. I'm not one for one-off ships initially but some of them surprise me.

Knight N Gale

Knight N Gale #4 · Jan 5th, 2018 · · 1 ·

8584383
Great story. Although, even at 4k words, it kinds felt a little rushed. You could easily flesh this out into a multi-chapter story. If you're interested in doing so, I wouldn't mind helping with ideas, suggestions and whatnot.

Whether or not you do expand it, it was pretty good for your first time writing.

Ace Pony Stories

Ace Pony Stories #5 · Jan 5th, 2018 · · ·

8650628
Well my second story is a continuation of this working on the second chapter right now but I would like some help with ideas for future chapters

livinthelife