First Impressions - From Bad to Worse
So. There I was, at the tail end of a long and grueling irritating? day researching Pinkie's special 'Pinkie Sense'. I was incredibly annoyed with myself for having decided to go through with it in the first place, and had no honest intention of ever following through with the halfhearted agreement to 'do this again sometime' I'd made before parting ways with Pinkie. I had nothing to show for my time except a distinct feeling that I'd just wasted half a day I could have spent better on anything else, and was in no mood to be argued with.
Unfortunately, everything tends to look like an argument when my patience has worn that thin.
Sunset trudged into the Golden Oak, not even bothering to close the door behind her. She didn't care. And it was still technically operating hours for the library, so it wasn't like it even mattered. Everypony could already come and go as they pleased anyway.
All she really wanted to do was rest her aching legs, and have dinner with Twilight and Spike. And with her nose informing her that she'd apparently come at the right time, she followed it into the kitchen where she found the others hard at work making dinner.
Well, Spike hard at work at least. Twilight, naturally, had a book open on the table.
“Okay, Spike,” she said, eyes glued to the page. “The recipe calls for exactly three radishes. And make sure they're finely minced.”
“Does that really matter?” Spike replied even as he put the radishes on a cutting board. “These radishes aren't even the same size to begin with, I don't think it'll make a difference how small of pieces I chop 'em up into.”
“Of course it matters, Spike!” Twilight retorted, finally looking up at him. “The recipe is finely tuned and calibrated to account for the flavor, texture, and nutritional content of each ingredient! Not following even a single step to the letter could throw the entire thing out of balance!”
“If you say so...,” her assistant mumbled, grabbing a knife and starting to mince.
Any other day, Sunset would have found the exchange to be kind of cute. Today, though, she didn't really feel like sitting through Twilight insisting upon doing every little thing by the book when it wasn't necessary.
“Personally, Sparkle,” she said, alerting the others to her presence as she walked into the room, “I think you're over-thinking things. So what if we have some chunky radishes in whatever Spike's making?”
“Hah!” Spike laughed, a smile on his face. “I knew I wasn't crazy.”
As he went back to chopping radishes, Twilight rolled her eyes. “Well hello to you too,” she said dryly. “So, how did your research go?”
Sunset pulled out a chair, and responded with a heavy sigh as she sat down. Twilight giggled. “Not too well, I take it?”
“Yeah, pretty much,” Sunset tiredly replied.
“Yeah, I felt the same way when I tried studying it,” Twilight said, annoyingly enough smiling more out of what seemed like fondness rather than sympathy. “Getting so worked up about it at the time seems silly now, although all the stuff Pinkie's sense was warning her about happening to me didn't exactly help anything.”
“Neither did the hydra,” Spike chimed in, sliding the not-quite-minced radishes off the cutting board and into the pot he had bubbling on the stove.
Twilight laughed again. “That too. The point is, Sunset, that I completely understand what you went through. It's never a good feeling to have nothing to show for all the trouble you went through.”
Sunset sighed, slumping forward until her chin was on the table. “That's not really what happened though. Like, nothing really bad happened like when you tried to researching it.”
Though she didn't see it, Sunset could guess that Twilight and Spike shared a concerned look. “So what did happen?” Twilight asked.
“Several hours of walking and occasionally talking, unable to keep nearly as much distance between us as I would have liked.” Sunset huffed. “And... yeah, only like six data points to show for it, so that's the same at least.”
“I don't understand,” Twilight said. Sunset looked up just enough to see her frowning. “I can see how that would be tiring, but you're acting like it was something totally awful!”
Sunset knew she should stop there, backpedal a little bit and make herself seem like she was just being overdramatic. Or at least just wave it off as nothing she had an answer for. But, for whatever reason, she just couldn't bring herself to muster the effort. The clearest thought in her head was that if she kept deflecting, her situation would never get better, and that is what her whims expressed.
“That mare is exhausting, Sparkle. Seriously. She never turns off. It's just... high energy, all the time. Going on and on and on about things I didn't ask for and don't care about, never giving me a chance to just... keep my distance and do a little thinking. To be honest, I can't see myself trying to get more data again anytime soon.”
“I... I can understand you wanting to take a break if it was really that tiring for you,” Twilight said, growing more and more concerned, “but quitting the project entirely? That doesn't seem like you, Sunset. Are you sure nothing else happened while you two were out together?”
Once again, part of Sunset knew that she should stop, back up, deflect, anything to get her off the path she was on. But the feelings she'd been suppressing since coming to Ponyville were beginning to stir, and weren't going to let this chance slip away so easily. Before Sunset knew it, she was already voicing her reply.
“Aside from Time Turner imposing himself on our lunch, which I didn't really wanna have with Pinkie to begin with? Not really.”
“W-well, maybe it was just a... a bad day for you to be doing research outside, then? I don't think Time Turner meant anything bad by imposing... And... and you really didn't want to have lunch with Pinkie Pie?” Twilight's voice was growing higher and more frantic, and the way she was stumbling around trying to make sense of what Sunset had said reminded her of all the times she'd picked apart one of Twilight's research projects and pointed out everything that was wrong, already done, or just ill-thought-out. Sunset could almost see her friend's mind pulling itself every which way trying to analyze — and over-analyze — every word and detail, trying to work out what she'd overlooked.
Part of Sunset felt guilty knowing how much Twilight was working herself up over this right now, and another part was panicking at how close she was to revealing everything. But a part of her that had long been dormant felt no small amount of petty vindictiveness that Twilight was now being faced with the consequences of what she'd been putting Sunset through. And yet another part of her cared about nothing beyond getting the truth off her chest, no matter the consequences.
“...and I still don't understand why you specifically didn't want to have lunch with Pinkie!” Twilight's increasingly-panicked rambling came to a momentary halt, making Sunset aware of the fact that she'd zoned out and missed some of it. “I mean, I know she's hard to get used to at first, and maintaining observational distance in order to reduce the influence you have on a research subject is important for a study like yours, but you're friends now! None of that should matter!”
Even then, Sunset could have easily stopped herself. But, again, she did not – perhaps even could not. So it was — with surprisingly little hesitation — that Sunset finally sighed and said, “But that's the thing, Twilight. We aren't friends.”
The room fell silent. For a moment, it seemed like even the pot bubbling on the stove had paused itself in shock at what Sunset had said.
Eventually, though, Twilight found her words again. “Wha... what do you mean you're not friends with Pinkie Pie? You two spend time together all the, well, time!”
“Only when you're involved,” Sunset countered.
“But what about today?” Twilight retorted. “You specifically sought her out!”
“Yeah, for a research project,” Sunset replied, getting testy. “And look how well that turned out.”
“But... but...” Twilight stammered, “but surely you've gotten to know her by now! How could you not be friends? I'm friends with you, and I'm friends with Pinkie, so it logically follows that you should be friends with Pinkie!”
“Well clearly it doesn't work like that, Sparkle,” Sunset said. “Sometimes, getting to know a pony only makes you realize just how much you don't like them.”
I wanna say that's obviously false, but I don't really know if it actually is or not. But in this specific case, it was me being an idiot and not recognizing/wanting to admit that you can't really get to know somepony you've already decided you didn't want to like. So... yeah.
“You don't like her?!” Twilight exclaimed, holding her head in her hooves in panicked disbelief. “How can this be? How could I have not realized that two of my closest friends don't like each other?! Spike,” she turned to her assistant, “did you know about this?!”
“No, this is all new to me!” the dragon replied, all thoughts of food preparation evidently forgotten.
“It's all new to me too!” Twilight said. “I just don't understand how this could have happened,” she continued, turning a blank gaze down at the open cookbook, “I thought everything was going perfectly! But if I was wrong and everything isn't going perfectly, then what else could I have overlooked?” She gasped, sharply. “Ohmygosh, what if I've been wrong about everything?!” She looked up at Sunset with fear in her eyes, and asked, “Do you like any of my friends?”
“Do you really want me to answer that?” Sunset replied, hoping her friend would back down and reconsider, but knowing she would not.
“Yes!”
The answer had been obvious, after all.
That, more than anything else, was the point of no return for Sunset. If she lied, she would keep Twilight's freak-out relatively contained, focused entirely on her relationship with Pinkie. If she told the truth, her best friend's emotional state would reach critical mass, and while Sunset wasn't sure exactly how things would play out she was confident that it would end with her being forced back to Canterlot and out of Twilight's life for good.
She knew she should lie. There was really no good reason not too, not with the cost of the truth being so high. And it really wasn't that big a lie; sure, she didn't like any of the others, but the rest of Twilight's friends weren't that bad. Not as Pinkie, at least. And Sunset was confident that she could continue her charade of pretending to care about them for a good long while, if not indefinitely.
It was an easy decision to make. Even the pre-friends-with-Twilight her could have seen that: just take the option that preserved your social status the way you wanted it. The only downsides were that she would have to continue to be around ponies she didn't like, which would really be the same no matter what happened, and that she was lying to someone important to her, but it wasn't like she hadn't before so what difference did it make?
The choice was obvious.
“Then no, I don't.”
But for reasons she could not comprehend, she did not take it.
The room went silent again. Spike dropped a wooden spoon in shock; Twilight gaped and stared at Sunset as thought she'd spontaneously changed colors, her words failing her.
“But... I... you... what do you mean you don't like them?” she finally said.
“What do you think I mean?” Sunset replied, her irritation – and therefore voice – rising despite herself. “I don't like them, Sparkle! None of them!”
“But all of them are great! What's not to like about any of them?”
Sunset let out a heavy sigh, now more annoyed that it had come to this than anything else. She could have asked if Twilight was sure she wanted an answer, but felt it would be pointless. “Well for starters,” she began, “Pinkie is annoying.”
“No she's not!” Twilight immediately interrupted.
“Yes she is!” Sunset countered just as swiftly. “She's obnoxious and clueless, and completely unable to figure out when a pony – like me – doesn't actually want to spend time with her hanging out or whatever.”
“She's just being friendly!” Twilight argued.
“Yeah, well, she's not very good at it,” Sunset said, putting her hoof on the table. “Now do you want me to actually answer your question or not?” The stare from Twilight that was rapidly becoming angry was all the reply she needed. “Okay. So. Rainbow Dash is annoying too.”
“What?!”
“You heard me, Sparkle. She's annoying. All she can talk about is herself, I swear, her ego's bigger than mine was back in school. And she doesn't even have the talent to back it up!”
“Yes she does! Rainbow Dash has done some amazing things, Sunset! And she trains hard every day in order to accomplish her goal!”
Sunset barked out a short laugh. “Yeah? And what about all the goofing off and pranks? Doesn't seem like training to me!”
“Just because she likes to have fun doesn't mean she's not a hard worker!”
“Yeah, sure, right,” Sunset deadpanned. “I'm sure the weather crew feels the same way. But enough about Rainbow Dash,” she said, quickly, before Twilight could retort again, “she and Pinkie aren't the only ones who annoy me: Rarity's not exactly easy to be around either.”
She could almost hear the mare in question gasp and faint in an overdramatic fashion in the back of her mind. And she could definitely hear Spike nearly do the same thing. “Hey, you take that back! Rarity is absolutely perfect!” he snapped.
Sunset rolled her eyes and ignored him. Well, she didn't look at him, anyway. “She's just like all those annoying ponies back home, more concerned with wealth and social status than anything of actual substance.”
“She is not!” Spike argued. “If you knew anything about her you'd know how much she cares for her friends more than anything else in the world!”
“Coulda fooled me,” Sunset snorted. “Every time I've talked to her she's been pretty transparently trying to get me to introduce her to somepony in Canterlot. She wants to be like them so much she even tries to talk like them. How can you even stand a pony like that, you hate those puffed-up so-called 'nobles' just as much as I do!”
“I can 'stand her',” Twilight said testily, putting her own hooves on the table, “because apparently unlike you I can see past her outward appearances to the smart, caring, and generous pony underneath!” She paused, and sat back down in her chair. “And I don't hate anypony. I'll admit I don't like the upper class social scene back in Canterlot, but that doesn't mean I don't like the ponies involved in it.”
Sunset knew that was only because her brother and Cadance were, technically, involved in that scene but had nothing against them and thus had no desire to bring them up while she was, essentially, throwing her own life away out of stubbornness and pent-up resentment.
So she just gave her friend another dismissive snort and pressed onward. “If you say so. Though to be honest I don't even have that much to say about the last two. They're not so much annoying as they are boring.”
“Boring?!” Twilight said, outraged. “How are Applejack and Fluttershy boring?!”
“Sparkle, one of them is an apple farmer and the other one has zero presence,” Sunset answered. “All either of them ever talk about, to the extent that Fluttershy does talk, are their professions, neither of which are at all interesting. Therefore, they're boring!”
Twilight sat there gaping for a few seconds, before composing herself enough to speak again. Well, only sputter, at first, but she didn't take too long to find her words. “Buh... wha... th... None of that's any reason to dislike somepony, Sunset! Just because they have their own interests doesn't mean you can't still be friends! And on top of that, just because you don't actively like anything about a pony doesn't mean you automatically have to feel dislike!”
“Hey, you know how I am, Sparkle,” Sunset shot back, feeling unexpectedly defensive. “I can play the social game with the best of them when I'm in the mood, but it takes a lot for me to actually warm up to other ponies. And I'm sorry,” she said, though it was clear to all that she didn't really mean it, “but those new friends of yours just don't make the cut. Maybe I'd be more neutral to some of them if I didn't have to be around them all the time, but as it is they're just gonna keep getting on my nerves.”
A sudden thud from the library – ominously heavy, as if it had occurred not too far from them – caught the trio's attention, and they silently agreed to put the argument on hold to investigate. Sunset's mind in particular was shifting gears completely, a pit of guilt forming in it that reminded her of how she'd left the front door open, and of how a thief could have wandered into their home in search of valuables...
It didn't take them long to figure out that it wasn't thieves, though. It was something worse: Pinkie Pie, flopped down on the ground just outside the kitchen doorway as if she'd leaned too far out of her hiding place and paid the price. Her lips were trembling, and she was looking up at Sunset with wide, tear-filled doe-eyes that made her feel guilty to look into.
And to make matters worse, she wasn't alone. With the magical lights still illuminating the whole of the library's main room, it was more than easy to spot – and hear – the four ponies still trying to stay out-of-sight.
Sunset took a step back, panic flaring up inside her as she realized that she'd been overheard. Twilight, as usual, took no notice of what Sunset had seen, and stepped forward obliviously. “Pinkie? What are you doing here?”
Pinkie sniffed, and the others took that as their cue to step out into the open – Rainbow Dash, Applejack, and Rarity without fear, hard and angry looks in their eyes with a single obvious target; Fluttershy reluctantly, moments later.
“Girls?” was all Twilight could say, even more dumbfounded than she had been.
“On behalf of all of us, Twilight, I'd like to apologize for eavesdropping,” Rarity began, the steadiness in her voice betrayed by the clench of her teeth and the glare that did not move away from Sunset. “The five of us each had our own reasons for coming over, and met up by coincidence just outside. The door was open, so we thought there would be no issue in our entering unannounced, though that changed when we heard raised voices coming from in here. I'm afraid our natural curiosity took over after that, although I can't say I regret it.”
Sunset, who had managed to steel herself despite her panic and doubts, returned Rarity's gaze without flinching.
“Yeah!” Rainbow Dash barked, flying up and over her friends, and into the face of the current target of her ire. “If we hadn't, we never woulda heard what little Miss Thinks-She's-So-Hot over here really thinks of us!” Sunset stayed silent despite meeting the mare's eyes, which only spurred her on more. “Oh, what, now that you know we're listening you don't have the guts to diss us anymore? Is that how you're gonna be?” She snorted in disgust. “I can't believe I ever thought you were cool...”
“Ya really don't got anythin' to say for yourself, do ya Sunset?” Applejack asked coldly as Rainbow Dash flew back a length or so to make room for her friends' harsh looks. “Probably for the better, seein' as how what we all heard sounded an awful lot like you takin' a load off your chest. Now, if you don't like us, then that's your choice even if I think it's for some awful stupid reasons. But lyin' about it and actin' like you really do like us is somethin' I can't abide by. Especially since it's Twilight you're tryin' to fool the most, who I know you really care about. Ain't nothin' good was ever gonna come of it.”
That struck a nerve with Sunset. “Don't act like you know what's best for me,” she said at barely more of a whisper, her voice controlled and her stare dead at Applejack.
She just snorted. “Don't act like you're so much better than me just 'cause I grow apples for a livin' and you're some fancy research pony,” she countered. Sunset had no reply that she felt was worth saying.
“C-come on, girls, can't we all just... talk this over?” Twilight said, her previous anger towards Sunset replaced by a palpable anxiety.
“Do you really think that's gonna work, Twilight?” Rainbow Dash shot back immediately. “You heard her better than we did, she wants nothing to do with us. Why should we bother with a pony who doesn't wanna bother with us? Some 'best friend' she turned out to be...” Her voice filled with loathing, Rainbow Dash turned and flew away.
“Rainbow Dash, wait!” Twilight called after her, but it was too late – the pegasus had left the library.
“Sorry, Twi,” Applejack told her, “but I gotta agree with Rainbow on this one. All of us have done our best to make friends with Sunset, and we all really thought we had. But if all of that was really a lie, then there ain't much more that we can do. I came down here to invite y'all to somethin' goin' on at the farm in a couple days, but I can see that now's not the time so I'll be seein' myself out. See ya later, Twilight. You too, Spike.” She, too, turned and began to leave, pausing only to shoot one last cold look at Sunset. “And you, Sunset Shimmer, oughta take a good long look at yourself and what you want outta life.”
Another nerve was struck, but this time Sunset just let her anger and resentment simmer as the mare walked away.
Another silence fell, but it was a short one – lasting only a few pointed seconds before Rarity turned to Sunset. “You know, Sunset Shimmer, if you had only aired grievances against myself, then I may have been able to overlook it,” she said. “I would have been hurt, of course, but I fully believe I would have forgiven you. I must confess that my intentions really weren't as pure as they ought to have been when we first met, and obviously that impression of me is what stuck with you. However,” her gaze sharpened, “I can not abide by you slandering my friends. As has been said, all of them are simply wonderful ponies who do not deserve the remarks you made.”
Sunset snorted, certain that she'd heard Rarity say similar things about the others in the heat of the moment, particularly about Applejack and Rainbow Dash. She wasn't about to take the scorn of a pony she'd decided was a hypocrite very seriously.
It earned a huff from Rarity. “It's obvious that you don't feel a shred of guilt for stringing us along and talking about us behind our backs. And until you do, I won't be speaking to you again. Good day.” With a melodramatic flip of her mane, she turned and exited with her muzzle in the air as though it would be some great loss to Sunset, who felt nothing of the sort.
In fact, she just rolled her eyes and looked at the last two mares – Pinkie was still lying on the floor, mane limp and eyes teary, while Fluttershy was just sort of awkwardly looking at her hooves. “So, are either of you gonna say something before storming out?” Sunset asked harshly.
“Sunset!” Twilight hissed in response. Sunset ignored her.
Pinkie whimpered, then got back on her feet. Her knees continued to tremble for a second, but once they were stable she turned her big doe eyes back upon Sunset. “I just want you to know that even though you never liked me, I always liked you,” she said, her voice quivering as though she were about to burst into tears. “But I guess I made a mistake somewhere. Sorry.” She sniffed. “I came here because I had another doozy,” she added, gaze drifting downward, “and I thought you'd wanna know. Guess I was wrong.”
She turned, and began to trudge towards the exit. “Worst doozy ever...”
Which only left Fluttershy. Sunset looked at her expectantly, but it took a long time for the mare to do more than rub her forelegs anxiously and avoid eye contact.
“Umm...,” she finally said, barely at more than a whisper, with no hint of anger or even sadness in her voice beyond normal. “I don't really have much to say. I'm sorry that nopony realized how uncomfortable we were making you sooner. I'll leave you alone now...”
Though something felt a little off about what Fluttershy had said, Sunset was in no mood to care as the pegasus turned and flew – actually flew – away from them. The most she did was lean forward a bit to see her land next to Pinkie, who had slumped back down to the floor halfway through the library, and put a wing around her. And once both were on their feet, they finally left the building – with, she vaguely noted, Fluttershy shutting the door behind them.
A moment passed, and Twilight said, “Well I hope you're happy, Sunset. Not only have you been lying to all of us, but now you've hurt everypony's feelings, too.”
“Hey, it's not my fault they were eavesdropping,” Sunset shot back, anger returning. “I mean, seriously! Why were they even there?! It's too ridiculous to be a coincidence or deliberate!”
“Well, if you'd been listening to them,” Twilight snapped, “you would have realized that Applejack and Pinkie Pie had very good reasons to be here, and that Rarity implied the same was true for the rest. And regardless, all of them were perfectly welcome to stop by, because they're my friends. I thought they were our friends, but clearly I was wrong.”
“Yeah, you were,” Sunset replied, unwilling to back down.
Twilight huffed, then turned and headed back into the kitchen. “And you know what makes this even worse? That you never even told me you didn't like my friends.”
“And what exactly would you have said?” Sunset said, her voice rising as she followed Twilight back. She put on a fake smile and mimicked the other mare's voice, saying, “Oh! You just need to spend more time getting to know them all, and that will magically fix everything! Never mind what you want to do, this is all about me now so you're just gonna have to deal with the fact that these random strangers are now the most important ponies in my life!”
“What?!” Twilight exclaimed in shock, turning to face her old friend. “Sunset, if you think that I care more about the others than I care about you, you're wrong!”
“Really?” Sunset replied, bitingly. “Because you could've fooled me!”
Twilight gaped at her for a moment, then said, “Sunset, what have I ever done to make you think that way?”
And there it was, the moment Sunset hadn't known she'd been waiting for. Almost immediately she felt a new rush of emotions welling up, her long-bottled sadness at being forgotten and the resentment and jealousy that had joined it when she'd finally realized just who she'd been forgotten for.
“Oh, I don't know,” Sunset replied, voice stilted under the pressure of the tears that wanted to spill forth, “maybe that time you completely ignored me for a month just so you could be with them!”
Twilight recoiled from the force of the accusation, eyes wide and ears pressed flat. “I... I thought we'd gotten past that!”
“I thought so too,” Sunset said, every word bitter. “But now I think I was just desperate for things to go back to how they were before, when it was just us. So desperate that I went along with your plan to move here, thinking I could just entertain your fixation with a bunch of other ponies for a little while until you moved on to other things and things went back to how they were supposed to be. But that never happened, and obviously it never will.”
“Sunset, I'm still sorry for not contacting you for a month, but right now friendship isn't some... some research topic that I'm focusing on to the exclusion of all else,” Twilight replied, anger coming back to her. “Yes, I'm learning everything about it that I can, but that doesn't make my friendships with the others any less real than my friendship with you! And if you're expecting me to apologize for making friends with other ponies, then I'm sorry but that just isn't going to happen!”
“Then what am I supposed to do, huh?” Sunset retorted. “Just stay in my lab all day, alone and ignored? Or would you rather I just keep being forced against my will to be around ponies I really don't care about!”
“Sunset, you're being ridiculous!” Twilight said, face-hoofing.
“No I'm not!” Sunset countered, the heat of the moment keeping her from realizing just how close that was to being the biggest lie she'd ever told.
“Yes you are!” Twilight countered right back. “You're acting like being around them is torture when they aren't bad at all to be around!”
“For you!” Sunset instantly shot back. “I don't know what kind of crazy stuff really happened the night before the Summer Sun Celebration, but whatever magical connection the six of you share is unique to you. And as far as I'm concerned, that's the only reason you can stand being around any of them. The Twilight Sparkle I knew before never would have bothered with those five.”
“Yeah, well, the Twilight Sparkle you knew before has grown up,” Twilight said, defiance in her eyes. “And I think it's high time that you grew up too, Sunset Shimmer.”
The two held their stoney stares for several second before Sunset looked away. She snorted. “Grown up? As if. If anything, you've regressed – back into a little filly, who cares about nothing more than playing around with a bunch of nobodies...”
“Okay, now that's also completely ridiculous,” Twilight said. “You know I was never like that when I was a filly.”
Another snort. “Yeah, well, you're making up for lost time now.” Then she sighed. “Seriously, why did you have to go and ruin the life we had by making friends with all of them...”
“Well it's not like I intended to do that,” Twilight said, circling around to look Sunset in the eye again. “I mean, what was I supposed to do? Ignore Nightmare Moon?”
The words stung. As much as Sunset wanted to say 'Yes, you should've come back and asked Cadance for help, or your brother, or me,' she couldn't bring herself to do it. She still remembered Princess Celestia's words that day – the task was Twilight's destiny; if she had failed, then nopony would have been able to beat Nightmare Moon. The best Sunset would have been able to do is help other ponies get into hiding.
If Twilight noticed the sadness the thoughts had brought to Sunset's eyes, she gave no indication of it. “No,” she laughed, half-desperately, “I bet you would've preferred I just ignore them instead, wouldn't you? Just go back to Canterlot, and act like I never even met them.”
Without a hint of hesitation, Sunset stared her straight in the eye and said, “Yeah, pretty much.”
“Uggh! I can't believe you!” Twilight exclaimed in disgust, turning and walking away. “This should've been a great thing for both of us, but—”
“But it was never going to be that, Sparkle!” Sunset interrupted. “That's what you don't understand! You're so caught up in your magical friendship land that you can't see that I don't want other friends! I don't want to spend the rest of my life in some insignificant little town!” She paused there, taking a few heavy breaths. “All. I want,” she continued, no longer fighting against the trickle of tears welling up, “is to be back home, studying magic under Princess Celestia with you. I want to be able to wake up in the morning, hang out with you and Spike, and go about my life without having to worry about some other ponies barging in unannounced and whisking you away for one stupid reason or another. But obviously,” she sniffed, “I don't get to have that anymore.”
Another silent moment fell, before Twilight closed her eyes and shook her head. “No, Sunset, I suppose you don't. I wish I knew what to say to you,” she added, looking at her again. “If you really aren't happy here, then I won't stop you from leaving. But I do hope that you'll reconsider and stay.”
Sunset let out a single, miserable laugh. “Yeah, I'll pass. I...,” she swallowed, the words sticking in her throat, “I know when I'm not wanted. I'll... I'll go...”
She didn't think after that. All she had was an impulse, no, a desire, to get as far away as possible. Her legs, shaking and stumbling from the anxiety, carried her out of the kitchen, out of the library, and into the oncoming night. She didn't look back, not even as Twilight called out her name.
Yeah, I'm a melodramatic idiot. I won't deny it. though I do really really hope I didn't misremember anything
At the moment, and for a long time afterward, I wasn't really sure what came over me when I decided to just reveal everything I'd been keeping pent up like that. But now, in hindsight... I can't help but wonder if that was some kind of destiny thing. Like... had I not done all that, I don't think I would've been able to move forward. I don't think we would've been able to move forward. So maybe I just... got a little extra push, to get everything out into the open.
I don't know. Maybe I'm just overthinking it. Trying to rationalize or excuse away my actions that day, to make them seem less... embarrassing.
But I can't help but feel that there's something there, at least. I think... destiny can be subtle like that.
But anyway...
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...You can't leave us on that cliffhanger for months.
. . .
The only other thing that can hurt more than this chapter, is the next chapter!!!!!
Though I think she is taking it a bit too far with her insults, I am on sunsets side in that they cant force her to like twilight's friends or to make friends with them
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Saved it and thanks
Ah, a classic nerd social fallacy. Friendship is not perfectly transitive. Just ask Dash and Pinkie about Gilda.
In any case, it is good that Sunset aired these grievances before they could fester any further, but in true Bacon Horse fashion, she did it in the worst, most self-defeating way imaginable. It's going to take a lot to mend the bridges she burned here. Hopefully the effort will force her to adopt a more open mind and stop seeing the other Bearers as rivals for Twilight's attention. (Seriously, it's like she's jealous of a bunch of little siblings.)
Twilight is... actually in the wrong here, oddly enough. No one's bothered actually considering what Sunset wants. If she'd said anything right at the start they'd all have hated her even sooner and she'd have gotten some speech about how she hadn't spent enough time with them to know for sure. Now that she has, she gets a speech about how she was leading them on. It's a no-win situation, either you like them or you fucked up and you're the bad guy.
Also, Twilight was pretty quick to show her the door for not liking her friends when she saved Sunset from suicide by asking her to come to Ponyville with her. Does Twilight not remember that it seemed very much like Sunset was going to kill herself? Now just going to turn her away? Does she not know that's basically a death sentence? Liking your friends shouldn't have to be part of the deal, she didn't hate them, she just didn't want to be around them - especially not so forced.
I can't see her doing this if like, Rainbow Dash had a hard falling out with the others but wanted to stay friends with her. At all. In that case, Sunset might be right.
Did they all think they were so amazing that no one would ever NOT want to be friends with them? They seemed less offended about the 'lying', which while not nice was perfectly understandable in her situation, and more that she didn't like them. If so, that's some impressive hubris.
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I have absolutely no idea where you got the impression that Sunset was anywhere close to committing suicide before Twilight invited her to Ponyville. All she said was that she was at the lowest point in her life. That does not immediately imply that she was anywhere close to suicide.
Well, I mean, it was really bitchy, but it wasn’t WRONG.
Also I don’t think Rarity knows what slander means.
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Bear in mind that this is still the season 1 mane 6, where their friendship was still going through teething problems - see Look Before You Sleep for an excellent example.
It also looks like Fluttershy didn't take it personally and was apologizing for everyone's behavior.
Good riddance, Sunset, you're too good for all of them.
Man this was a good chapter. Sunset's right, this did all need to come out sooner rather than later, and as someone else said this was never going to be a good conversation regardless of when it was had.
Well, Fangren, time to roll up those sleeves and get to a-clackin' away at that typer-machine. Ya done left ponies hangin' off a cliff and needin' more horse words to go anywhere else.
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I think her insults need additional context. Applejack isn’t boring, but she is boring to Sunset. Might still sting when it comes to the target, but at least then it comes off as a more rational view of things. Could just be me though.
Sadly... that's not how it works Twilight. I really wish it did though, would have saved me a lot of stress and heartache on the run. Some people just aren't made to be social butterflies, or very open in friendships. I relate a lot to Sunset in here, even sharing some of her opinions on the Mane 5 back when I first started watching the show.
I have a small handfull of friends, and they all have 2-3 friends they introduced to me with the intent of bringing me into their social circle. It didnt work. I'm an introvert, and have been for most of my life. Some people just adapt easily to having friends with quirks that could annoy you but you shrug off as you like them as people. Others not so much, and its hard to even try emulate being happy all the time. In my case, all those 'friendships' burned down, with me trying to keep them just for my friends sake.
There was shouting, fighting, crying, and I did loose some close friends during that, or ended up with strained bonds with others.
Awesome chapter can't wait to see what happens next
Smooth, Shimmer. Real smooth. Celestia should have taught you how to be diplomatic when you're pissed off.
But she's not really in the wrong from the perspective given here. She's given them a fair shake and it didn't work out. That she's been repeatedly forced into situations where she wasn't comfortable doesn't help. Sure, she was not kind about how she expressed it, but Fluttershy, at least, seemed to grasp the point she was making.
The reactions from the mane 6 were a bit extreme (not counting Fluttershy, who reacted reasonably). Pinkie was probably the only one that really tried to be friends with Sunset, showing an interest in what Sunset was doing and what she liked. The others were all just doing things they liked while Sunset just happened to be there. Rarity was outright trying to use Sunset's connections in Canterlot. That parting comment from Applejack was particularly mean-spirited and kind of out of place.
When all is said and done though, Sunset was in kind of a crummy position and most of the mane 6 just made things worse.