• Member Since 18th Jan, 2017
  • offline last seen Oct 16th, 2018

All Art Is Quite Useless


When I'm not writing stories, I'm writing essays. My keyboard sees fairly frequent use. University student, high functioning Rainbow Dash enthusiast, and satirical activist.

Comments ( 38 )

the fuck XD

I wonder how cheated would Twily feel if she knew...

Celestia is blind? That's kinda sad. You could have done way more with that then what you did in this story.

8570361
This I completely agree with you on. The concept of blindness (especially in this context) could have been explored to a much higher degree, and if I had been writing a serious story, I would have.

Personally, I'd love to see a more serious take on Celestia's blindness. That said, I hope you enjoyed what I produced!

AAIQU

Feels bad man, where are getting that alternate "happy" ending? JK

This was funny, and kinda unexpected. Never really thought about this before. Nicely done dude.

for reals?

Comedy ??? Sorry, not from my point of view.

Hmm...nah. Get where it's coming from, liked the last lines. Doesn't feel like it really did anything though.

A brown coated guard rushed over in lively bounds, halting less than a foot away from Anon. "Have no fear!" Grendo announced in his most peculiar accent, not unlike something Anon would expect from an Indian person, "I, Grendo, am chief changeling detection and identification officer on duty at this time! I, Grendo, will study you, human sir."

Is... is that a reference to what i think it is? :pinkiegasp:

Also lmfao this was epic :rainbowlaugh: Hahahaha, good fugging work, hehe

As usual, Anon is a piece of s:yay:.

This raises more questions than it answered.
Also,

"There is an alternative. Grendo! Look alive!"

Oh no, I hate this guy...

This is now my head canon.

I looked up "grendo" and found the Urban Dictionary page.

Why...

Just... Why... :pinkiesick::facehoof:

You know, I never thought about how Princess Celestia's duties would likely make her prone to going blind. It's genuinely a great question and does raise a good point for discussion.

My thought is that Equestria exists on a drifting world where it's sun and moon were both conjured through powerful magic. As the sun is not truly the same as a natural one it could have different properties. Or, being of magical origin, spells and/or wards can be put into place to protect one, such as Celestia, from the UV light frying her retinas.

Truly that's the best I got. Anon made a great argument and the ending was funny. :)

The sentient horse beings that controlled everything, like something out of a deranged toddler's acid trip.

Sapient.
Everything with a brain is sentient - a fly, a hamster, etc.
Consider: "Homo sapiens" - thinking man.

8571526
Yes you're right there, thanks! I'll fix that now.

You'll have to excuse the odd mistake, I was quite ill when I wrote this.

AAIQU

Sorry Anon. Your princess is in another castle.

Anon witnesses Celestia raising the sun. Something about that seems really stupid.

Yes, and the stupid part is Anon.

Grendo...


WHY HIM!?!?

That was a treat! Next up luna lol. :3

8571526
Wouldn't the correct term be sophont?

Anon was really starting to get into his stride now, and he looked to Celestia with a confident grin. "Face it, there's no way that you could look directly at the sun for that long every day for a thousand years or more without irreparably damaging your eyesight or even blinding yourself. That's just not possible."

Woah, woah, woah. Anon just took a logical leap. Let's walk through the conversation leading up to this point:

  • Anon says the sun is harmful to pony eyes, and offers as proof the fact that they wear sunglasses; therefore, he asks Celestia how she can look at the sun safely.
  • Celestia says that her own biology is different than other ponies', and that being an alicorn makes her more resilient; as an example, she says that alicornhood allows her to raise the sun.
  • Anon remembers that Celestia said that unicorns--ordinary ponies--used to raise the sun.

As Anon points out, Celestia just contradicted herself. The logical step is that either she has been thrown off guard and is trying to hide something (and thus her argument is weakening in her distraction), or that she is not, in fact, more resilient than other ponies (since they can raise the sun, the most difficult of her tasks). This, in turn, would suggest that Celestia cannot look at the sun safely, and has damaged her eyes. However, the story doesn't explain this process; Anon just leaps to the conclusion that Celestia can't look at the sun. Those steps need to be there for this argument to make sense.

Fun fact: I actually rewrote this comment several times because I kept finding logical fallacies of my own. I hope I've got it all clear now.

Also, we never found out why Celestia called Anon there in the first place!

Awww, poor Grendo. I like him, he’s peppy
I wonder if any of the other princesses know

As far as I remember Celestia can raise the sun with her eyes closed. At least she does this in "Cutie Mark Chronicles". There is also a chance that she has some sort of "sun proprioception" so she always knows where exactly sun now and its position relative to a planet.

8573244
Well, in Faust plans both Celestia and Luna supposed to be goddesses. After she leaves the show writers threw this piece of idea out of windows. It also looks like they take quite the liking to use "Worf Effect" on alicorns.

Only if ponies don't have significantly above or below human average intelligence, or some fundamental psychological difference,8572968. Sophont is specifically for human-like intelligences, while Sapient is abstract thought.

The entire reason why Orien's Arm uses the term trans-sophont for the hyperintelligent AIs is because they're beyond human mental capabilities. Which is what defines sophonce.

8573682
She (and other princesses) not exactly weak per se... Their problems came from fact that they are not the main characters so the writers often need to remove them so M6 can shine. Tempest back in a movie even mentioned that combined strength of all four princesses is equivalent to "hundred of armies". Yeah, after she beat them in the span of a minute :). Although sudden anti-magic petrify grenades help a lot in this. So, they super-powerful but the plot is far more powerful than this :). All hail the Plot! (and yes, that plot also :)

What an asshole Anon is. Yeah, I didn't even say plothole. I am far from Celestia's greatest fan, and even I think he was beingf a complete doucebag.

8574056
Anon is the personification of 4chan. What did you expect? (That's why I tend to avoid stories involving him.)

Well, that's an interesting take on Celestia.

She should totally wear shades.
derpicdn.net/img/view/2013/1/3/201496__safe_solo_princess+celestia_sunglasses_space_badass_motorcycle_artist-colon-mrdouche89_dat+uranus.jpg
And ride a motorcycle, I guess.

Short and silly, and I liked it.

Chryssie (thats me!) Donut princess of Justice...
Doesn't approve.
No donuts for you.
Don't be mean to Celly.
Be nice.
Give Celly a donut.

8605629

she was marketing material because moar toys!

That's the show. That's the entire show. At what point did you ever, for one single second, believe that My Little Fucking Pony was anything more than a half-hour toy commercial? Why do you think that the humans from Equestria Girls all have skirts and big fat boots that go up to their knees; even Rainbow Dash, who is an athlete wearing knee-high boots? The answer is because that the TOYS that they'd produce afterwards would be too difficult and too expensive to produce if the models weren't all the same base that were then further customized to look like the characters... and also because the big fat boots provide a heavier and more stable base so that the figures can actually stand up and not fall over. It's toys, friend. It's always been to sell toys, right from day one.

8720787
You know what, you're right. I was wrong about it being about toys from "day one". It was good at first. This is why I will never understand why some show fans hate Faust. She established the show, she filled it with love, and it was Hasbro that turned it into the toy-deal sellout it is today.

Very interesting idea, I've never seen it before. Also,

A spark of Celestia's horn opened the door to her bedchambers, where Grendo still eagerly waited on the other side. "I'm blind, not desperate. Get out."

That's really hilarious. I love it.

"I'm blind, not desperate. Get out."

Yeah, Anon is definitely not a keeper XD

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