• Member Since 2nd Jul, 2017
  • offline last seen Yesterday

Clopficsinthecomments


I want nothing more than to bring a smile to your face with a light-hearted clopfic! If you want to bring a smile to mine, leave a comment!

Sequels5

Comments ( 374 )

Leave a comment fellow Apogee fans!

Who do you think is showing up next chapter, what do you think will happen?

I find guilt-by-association crimes to be pretty horrible, more because of the horror the people who enforce them inflict on us, rather than the actions of the criminals. It's about attacking people for no crime other than having empathy for a criminal, and that leads to silly disclaimers by which people nervously assert to each other, "Oh yes, horrible crime, totally," whether it's a horrible crime or not. That makes people even more hostile about the crime, since clearly "everyone agrees" that it's horrible. It forces criminals to endure cruel and undue punishment. The worst thing about it is, when sympathizing is incriminated, even if it is a horrible crime, you can no longer be confident of it being so. Because you know there are people willing to force others to lie, so why wouldn't those same people use lies and propaganda to make the crime seem worse than it is?

But I won't rant any more about a tiny section in your author's notes. This story was better paced, I think, and I liked the teasing back and forth there. Interesting thought on tribe-specific laws. I don't know if you did it on my account, but it definitely made Jet seem like a powerful badass, when Apogee tried teasing him a little, before he nailed her to the wall. She was definitely being a "naughty little filly" there. The "I'm trying, hun," kind of broke that head of steam though. Might want to make him just lift her without argument.

I don't have any real criticism, at least not that I haven't already said. She "chirps" a lot? It was a little weird the way she climaxed from the showerhead. I'd have made it clearer that after she washed off her butt, she was still keeping her pussy in the path of the pulsating streams, and maybe shooting her dad a hopeful/sly look before the sensation starts to send her off to la-la land. She was trying to show him just what she's been doing with his shower jets, wasn't she?

She can't have an abortion!

She can't? :unsuresweetie:

firing partially into her nostril

Um... ouch? :fluttershyouch: You mean onto her nostril, right?

reached forward and nipped his daughter's neck

Isn't a nip like a teasing little quick bite? I'd have said sunk his teeth into the scruff of her neck, or bit down on her ear and pulled her back or something.

That comes ater, Dad.

I'm guessing that character at the end is the mother. Also, like Diamond Gavel for some reason.

500 bit's that it will be Apogee's mother busting in next chapter and ripping poor jet stream a new one like a piece of paper after she suddenly, somehow found out about jetstream's and Apogee's little rong rong rodeo.

I love Apogee, and I love you.

OOOOH SHIT! I just finished the last one. This was surprising. Here we go BOIS!

Sooo, dragon lord Ember opened up her own pony escort service...well okay then
media1.tenor.com/images/8f69890a79213d1f27e7a883071b3086/tenor.gif?itemid=8093522

8574973
Nah, it is the changeling clopfic

Very nice continuation of the previous story. Shower scenes are one of my favorite fetishes so I really enjoyed this chapter.

8574853
Hey ferret! Happy to see that you tried out the sequel despite the lack of chainsaws :twilightsmile:!

Great feedback as always and a couple of nice catches: though that shot did go up her nostril... Ouch!

Apogee 'chirping' a lot is a bit of an inside humor bit on her bird-like behavior, something her artist plays a round with. I had her chirp and act like a bird in a bird-bath as a very subtle throw to that, so I could see how you might wonder what the deal was.


On the abortion side, I'm gonna side-step that controversy as it doesn't belong in the comments of a fimfic story. Suffice it to say that the character of Jet Stream doesn't want his daughter to have an abortion - which sets up the conflict I was looking for (yes I know horses can self-abort etc.)

I'm happy you liked the turn-about from Jet Stream! The fumbling was meant to heighten the sense of satisfaction when they finally were able to insert him, and the idea that Apogee had to go onto her tippy-hooves (a term I coined, figuring that it was probably what the fandom had developed for the situation) was really fun to write.

Thanks as always, hope you stick around for the next chapters!

8574897
8575096
8575049

Thanks all! This was a blast to write for you, my beloved readers! Glad that I did take the plunge with the sequel!

Good lord, I'm going to hell for liking this, aren't I?
Ah well. This was a very well-written piece of story in any case. I liked how (in both, the previous story and this one) Jet Stream at least tries to act reasonable and do the right thing. The whole backstory with him losing that deal and getting drunk off his face gives a nice explanation as to how things ended up like this, and makes him a little more relatable, instead of simply going the way of 'dad comes home, is horny, and ruts his daughter mindless', which, in my opinion, has been done to death in every incest-clopfic ever.
I'm really not into foalcon (then again, seeing how Apogee is 16, one could argue about calling her a foal in the classical sense), but I really do like what Shinodage has created with Delta Vee and her family, and the world-building in this story definitely was a nice addition to just that.
I do have one minor concern about where the relationship between Apogee and Jet Stream is going to go. At this point I suppose both see (or at least will see) all that has happened as a -literal- slip, and I sincerely hope it'll stay that way and not turn into a full-blown father-daughter-romance, with the two actually falling in love, Apogee getting pregnant after all, etc.
But I'm rambling here. I'm really enjoying the story so far. A guilty pleasure is a pleasure too, I guess.
In any case, I can't wait to see what happens in the next chapter. Keep up the good work!

More anal? Dammit... guess I have to pass on this one too. :fluttershyouch: why you do this to me? :fluttercry:

8575345
Awww, sorry Pusspuss! This chapter doesn't have any, at least, just a bit of heavy petting! Shoot, well at least I can console myself by thinking that your not reading this will lead to you writing more of your lightning dust fic!!!

Seriously, I've been spamming refresh on that masterpiece for almost a year!:twilightsmile:

Thanks for the comment, bud!

8575248
Thanks! I was actually nervous to try to explore the relationship beyond hurr durr ponies are horny (my usual go to), but from your reaction it seems to be hitting the chords I had hoped it would!

I have to admit, by the way, that the world-building is really fun to write... Almost as much fun as the clop... Oh no, am I turning into a 'non-nsfw' writer!?

...

Butts. Pink, pony butts everywhere.

...

Phew, nope.:pinkiecrazy:

8574817
Oh SHIT!!!

Looks like Mama came over and is about to learn everything.

Bet she either approves of it, or doesn't.

Honestly, i think she approves and wants in on the action.

Good luck, and cant wait 4 the next chapter.

8575345

anal

pass

heathen :V

lightning dust fic!!!

>doesn't like plot
>writes lightning dust

I can't figure out if I hate you or love you D:

8575376
Either that, or will use it as a means of payback for Jetstream “ruining her career.”

8575482
Yeah. The mom is a b***ch!! Horrible way to look at her daughter.

This, is what I needed all these years.

8575477
Funny you say that, cause I was actually going to make Lighting's Bet have my first ever anal scene. :rainbowdetermined2:

But yeah, anal is lame! :fluttershbad:

...Apogee thought as she slowly hefted her father's balls. She could feel the swollen vessels inside, filled with the semen she wanted so badly.

This part kinds threw me off. It's surprising how many people improperly believe that the testes produce and store semen. The testicles don't contain semen: they produce and contain developing sperm, then the epiditymus which is at the very top of the teste, contains the mature sperms. Semen is 90% fluids made primarily of the prostate gland' and the seminal vesicles' excretions, with mature sperm being mixed in as well prior to ejaculation.

8575535
Good sir, you are 100% correct.

However, this line came from an intelligent, but ultimately still young and misguided teenage filly, who is probably not incredibly familiar with the male anatomy.

I think you'll find in most of my work I make specific mention of the seminal vesicles, prostate and epididymis.

Interestingly, I've also been excoriated for getting too anatomical:facehoof:

So please forgive little Apogee if she thinks her father's coin purse is where the baby batter is kept!:rainbowlaugh:

8575516
Wow! Spoiler alert!

I'd say that you don't have to write butt stuff if you don't like it (in fact, you probably shouldn't!)... but damn if I wouldn't want to see lightning butt get some sweet human meat in her tail hole, especially if she's wearing that dress while it happens!

It's funny, I'm actually not a huge anal fan either except in fantasy. The reality is pretty groady and messy, but the fantasy of the act, of complete dominance of the mare, is pretty hot.

8575483
Aww, poor Delta Vee... She's just... y'know, going through a rough patch. For sixteen years. I'm sure she's a good pone at heart!

Just a bit of a grump is all...

Shino probably has some cool character development in store.

8575573
Yeah. I hope so!! Cant wait for more stories!!

Wait, she's SIXTEEN?!
But that's way too old_, what the hell
RUINED

Amazing, more please!

8575198
I see, love the fic btw. Thanks for getting me into Shinodage work

you'vealways been

missing space

Apogee like his shower

liked

Hequickly stepped

missing space

He could feel was rapidly

missing he

8575535
Hmm as it is the thought of an horny teenager I think we can get over it ^^;;

The real biological strange thing is the fact that IF she has been filled with enough sperm to show as a bulge that means that HE has had to have a corresponding bulge before...

Everyday you fuckers corrupt me more and more.

For some reason, I can’t stop laughing at these stories while I read.

Maybe it’s just the utterly amazing titles.

Dear Faust, why the hell do I find this so hilarious and fun to read?

Somebody halp pls.

8575569

I'm actually not a huge anal fan either

You don't have to lie. We all know you like it up the butt. :trollestia:

Happy to see this story getting continued and to see such positive feedback and popularity for these characters! While the clop is excellent, I'm more curious and interested where Jet Stream and Apogees' relationship is heading now that this has all happened. Even if this was a slip up caused by Estrus, it really isn't something they can both move on and forget ever happened if Apogee is still being raised by her dad. Apogee also seems seems to continue to hold this crush she held when she was young, as she admitted herself, and she is sure not going to be willing to stop. Jet Stream is the one who'll be the deciding point in where any of this goes, but he seems to be losing any resistance to kissing or having sex with this daughter. I assume something deeper then mindless sex will happen in the future if things continue as they are, if the romance tag is any indication. I guess I'll wait and see what happens.
Diamond Gavel adding in at the end that inheritance will be a more complicated but possible with pregnancy did seem a little strange. I wonder if it's foreshadowing or not.

A cliffhanger in a clopfic? You absolute deviant. :pinkiecrazy:

But seriously, this is really good! I particularly enjoy the bits of world building you throw into the fic every so often. It doesn't break the pace too much, and keeps it from just being mindless clop.

(But the sex is hot, too. Really hot. Spelled with an "a" and a "w". HAWT.)

Here's to the next chapter!

EDIT: And here's to seeing how a certain pony with the initials DV will react when she finds out about these two.

"A good landing's any landing you can walk away from; a great landing is one where they can reuse the plane."

8575743
Busted. I'll spare you any attempt at a scientific explanation... It's pure fantasy wish fulfillment tripe... And I love it!

Cartoon magical horse prostates are strong, yo!

"Moon tea?" Jet Stream asked, the term sounding familiar.

Nice game of thrones reference

8575189
Oh, I wasn't sure if he meant she isn't able to somehow, or he can't stand the thought of abortion.

Maybe I'll stick around. I probably should be writing my own stuff though, instead of spending a lot of time ranting in someone else's comments section.

J'ai adoré , l'histoire est juste captivante et c'est pourquoi je te dit bravos pour l'histoire que tu a ecrite ! Vivement la suite !!

this isn't foalcon :|

8576285
En Francais? Je vous demande pardonne. Ca fait longtemps que j'ecrit en cette langue, alors je vais faire beaucoup d'erreurs. Mais, je vous dis un grande merci pour votre gentil commentaire!

8576159
Ah is that where it's from? I borrowed it from a couple of other clopfics and always wondered about the original source!

8575828
You can't say a comment like that and simultaneously use an pony emoticon that features Celestia's gigantic horn... You involuntarily made me shudder!:rainbowlaugh:

8575869
Thank you!

I'm starting to get addicted to this world-building writing. If I'm not careful I'll end up being a SFW writer! (JK dont worry)

I'm so happy you're enjoying the story, thanks for your feedback!

8575861
Wow, a lot of hope for a solid romantic relationship! Certainly things will continue to grow, if the pair can escape from the estrus haze!

Login or register to comment