Epilogue
Velar collapsed to the floor, panting from the exertion and the pain of so many wounds. His Voidsteel had been so badly damaged that he could see it fuzzing away in places, little cracks of light leaking out from within. It would need to be contained again soon, or it would begin to feed on its wearer to repair itself.
But he couldn’t bring himself to care about that, or much of anything. Velar had done everything he could for Accipio. It was time for his fellow birds to pick up a little slack.
He spent an hour or two drifting between conscious and unconscious, the dreams of delirium and injury and maybe the ancient magic he wore. As he lay there on the stone, he imagined he could see ancient armies in the age before civilization, when ponies and griffons had fought together against a hunger that could never be sated.
But then something brought him back. Guinevere appeared before him, along with her train of engineers and attendants. They’d brought a vessel, along with tools. “M-mother…” he croaked, forcing himself into a sitting position even though he didn’t have the energy. “Is… my father…”
Guinevere shook her head. Her voice drifted in like a distant wind, her words only partially heard and always out of focus. “Every brave bird I know gave themselves for… looks like you almost did as well. Some of these wounds are serious.”
He nodded. “Some are. When you… take the armor off… be careful. I might bleed to death.”
His mother actually laughed. “I’ve been caring for Voidsteel since before you were hatched, child. Relax.”
“Get me…” he croaked, then dissolved into hacking coughs. A few seconds later he tried again. “If you can find me a pony doctor… that would be helpful. I don’t want the old magic. Zoya… has done a great service for the house. But there’s been enough blood, I don’t want any more spent for me.”
He wasn’t sure what his mother said next, or any of the other birds in her group. But he didn’t really care. He was vaguely conscious of their work as the armor was removed, and his many wounds were bandaged. He thought he saw a group of ponies arrive in white, medical uniforms, but he couldn’t have said for certain. He’d spent so long around ponies dressed like that after he’d been shot that he still sometimes saw them out of the corner of his eye when he was on the edge of consciousness.
Eventually he slipped away, and rest found him at last.
When he woke, he was in the throne room. He was looking up at the carved ceiling, thankfully not below any of the massive holes that his battle had created. The throne room was largely empty—no court today, no crowd of bickering nobility.
He sat up and found the relative numbness the Voidsteel gave him had been revoked. His whole body ached now, some places worse than others. Looking down showed him a body covered with bandages, tight enough that he couldn’t move as much as he might’ve liked. But at least he didn’t feel any of the persistent soreness of infection. The Equestrian doctors have done it again.
“W-who’s there?” he asked, trying not to sound too desperate. “I’m… thirsty.”
A glass of water appeared beside him, glowing in green magic. Starlight Glimmer emerged from behind the bed a second later. “Hey.”
Was that always her color?
“Hey.” He took it in one claw and drained the whole thing. Most of it went onto the bed, but it did help. “You’re still alive.”
“Alive, yeah,” she said. “So long as you restrict your measurements to the physical. Politically… well.” She lowered her voice to a whisper. “I kind of committed like a dozen capital crimes saving New Scythia yesterday. And let’s just say that I’d already be in Tartarus if this was Equestria.”
“But it isn’t,” said another voice. Guinevere wore her full, formal robes, and from the sound of her voice she’d been sitting near the throne. But her wings fluttered for a moment, then she settled down just beside him. “For the moment, Starlight Glimmer is under the auspices of our protection. Her magic ended the worst slaughter in memory. House Virtue would not even still exist without her.”
“Yes, well…” Starlight Glimmer made a vague, indecisive sound. “I don’t think the princesses see it that way. Dark magic tends to… corrupt… the ones who use it. Even if I knew what I was doing, they’ll see me as a danger. Unless you somehow made it impossible for them… they’ll insist on giving me up. They’ll say you’re unsuited to contain the danger I pose, that the magic I turned against the deserving last night might be cast on innocents next. And they might be right.”
“What… what happened exactly?” Velar tried to rise out of bed, but Starlight Glimmer pushed him back. “After the battle started, I… kinda lost touch with everything else.”
“Equestria lost a lot of ships,” Starlight said. “We were badly outnumbered, and Vengeance was prepared. But our reinforcements kept arriving. Once the rest of the Lunar Fleet got here, word had gotten back to the admirals what you’d done to Santiago. They surrendered. Good thing too—my spell wouldn’t work at those distances.”
“The army was decimated,” Guinevere continued. “Our ships were unarmed and helpless, most of them were destroyed in drydock. New Scythia is occupied by the Equestrian Navy. They haven’t landed troops, but if they wanted to…” She shrugged her wings. “Well, you’re the one who needed to know.”
“Not you?” Starlight asked, without malice. “You’re the empress. Even with your husband’s… passing…”
“I’m the regent now,” Guinevere said. “In all the time you’ve lived with us, Starlight, I’m surprised you didn’t expect this one. There must be an emperor, and imperium passes through his line. Either that, or the office is claimed through blood. Santiago’s supporters would argue that the wounds he inflicted on Gaius caused his death, which would mean he is the rightful ruler. But then my son killed him, restoring the office to our house. Either way, Velar now rules. Or… would. If he had a wife. The emperor’s office cannot be filled by one bird, there must always be two.”
Velar’s mind swam. He’d known this day would come his entire life—dreaded it more than anything. He’d half imagined that his father would live forever, and that he would inherit the throne for a few years in his own old age, before passing it along to his son.
But his mother was right. Being emperor required a spouse. The same requirement would be imposed on him if something unfortunate happened to his wife while ruling. His eyes settled on Starlight Glimmer. “You said… Equestria will want your head, right? That asylum wouldn’t be enough to keep you from prison.”
“Not just prison.” Starlight sat back on her haunches, grinning ruefully. “Tartarus is… a distant, magical realm, filled with the demons of the past. I would probably be chained up there alongside some of the worst tormentors the world ever had.”
Some ancient instinct of Velar’s wanted to argue a story like that. But considering what Starlight Glimmer had accomplished—what he’d seen from ponies during his stay in Equestria—he figured he could start giving them the benefit of the doubt.
“Right,” he said, glancing meaningfully at Guinevere. Would she understand what he meant? Apparently yes, because behind Starlight she removed something from her head. The wrought platinum and white-gold diadem worn by the empress.
“But I wonder…” he went on. “What if we could give you more than just asylum? What if you were the Empress of Accipio? Would they still try to punish you then?”
“Obviously not, that would—” She trailed off, her ears suddenly flattening. Starlight Glimmer might be a little slow when it came to connecting griffon customs, but she had been living with them for a long time now. She could listen well enough. “Wait.” She sounded more confused than upset, which he hoped was a good thing. “Isn’t that… wouldn’t that mean…”
He nodded. “Asking a bird you’re courting is supposed to be an elaborate ritual. Every generation tries to make it a little more elaborate than the one before. But my city just got burned down, my father is dead… after everything you’ve done for me, I don’t want to lose you too. Please.” He gestured, and Guinevere set the thin metal crown onto the cot in front of Starlight. It was too large for a pony head—but they had blacksmiths for that.
“No pressure, right?” Starlight said, laughing quietly. “A lifetime with a selfless, honorable bird like you… or an eternity in demon prison. You drive a hard bargain.” Then she kissed him.
It wasn’t the best kiss Velar had ever experienced. But under the circumstances, he knew it was one he’d remember.
Equestria didn’t wait long to send in its negotiators—Princess Twilight Sparkle and her friends, as it turned out. They had a long list of demands for the griffon nation, one that started with the surrender of Starlight Glimmer just as his new betrothed had suggested.
But Velar was right about her becoming empress. As soon as the princess heard that, Twilight seemed almost relieved.
“These other demands are inflexible,” Twilight Sparkle said. “And yes, we’re calling them demands this time.” She flicked her wing up at the destroyed palace around them. “We negotiated with you like you were ponies, last time. We won’t make that mistake again.”
Velar was standing on his own legs, or at least sitting in the throne under his own power, but he was still wrapped in bandage and weak from his many wounds. “Tell me,” Velar said. “You’ll have to read the document for me. I can’t.”
Starlight levitated it over. She wore the crown now and sat in the throne beside him. The ritual wasn’t complete yet—it had to wait for the right phase of the moon. But that didn’t matter. She was empress now.
“An immediate end to the slavery of all ponies currently held captive,” said the very first point. “And an end to captivity for all other creatures within the year. A public commitment under oath not to reinstate the practice once you have returned to your home territory.”
Velar hissed under his breath, but didn’t actually argue. He’d known that point was coming. The other demands were just as harsh, and ended with the presence of military police in every city to enforce the provisions. In many ways, it was everything that Accipio had feared Equestria would demand. The slavery that Santiago had promised this peace agreement would bring. He’d been right, in a small way.
But now Accipio was in no place to resist. And for many of these new rules, he didn’t even want to. I told Starlight that this would collapse our economy. This war has probably already done that—it can’t get much worse, can it? It was like a bandage—it was best just to rip the whole thing off at once, instead of peeling carefully.
“Accipio has only one concern,” he said, once he’d finished listening to the list. He was an emperor now, and this was his palace. He didn’t wait for Twilight’s permission. “With the land you’ve given us, these provisions are impossible. Look outside—” He couldn’t actually move to do it by way of demonstration, but he could point at the windows.
“That’s a desert, out there. I notice there were no promises in there to return our weather ponies and provide them to the other cities. With those rules, we will certainly starve. Even if I enforce them, my government will collapse, and you will have millions of starving, angry birds flying north on Equestria.” The implication there went unsaid. It had been a long time since his kind had eaten ponies, but if Equestria starved them…
“Oh, yeah.” It was one of Twilight’s companions. The orange one. “We’ve up and figured a way for that already. See… we’ve got some better land picked out. It was a real mess to find it, and it’ll probably be another right mess to fly you there. But I’m sure there’s a way…” She nodded towards Twilight. “Let her worry about the logistics.”
“Better land…” Velar said. “I… have no idea what you’re talking about.”
“The carrot for that stick,” Twilight Sparkle said. “There is… a great deal of fertile land north of Equestria. Or there will be. We’ve been turning the towers on one at a time… ponies are already clamoring to move up there, so you’ll probably have some settlers joining you. Some settlers that will be protected under these new laws, I might add.”
“Woah.” Starlight Glimmer’s eyes widened. “You found the Crystal Empire’s weather network? It still works?”
Twilight seemed a little pained to answer—the same way she looked whenever Starlight spoke. But she still answered. “We’re still working out the kinks, but… it works. And the ones living there won’t need weather teams, just technicians to keep the towers running. Those technicians could be of any race… the magic comes from the Crystal Heart, not from the ones running it.”
“Ooooh.” Starlight nodded, apparently realizing something Velar didn’t. “That… makes sense.”
The treaty was signed within the hour.
Under any other circumstance, Velar knew that it would’ve been impossible to get Accipio to cooperate with such terrible demands. But Vengeance and Victory had already pushed their cities to near starvation. With their armies slaughtered, the birds who remained would take food in exchange for obedience. As for his own birds… he wasn’t the only one happy to see a few changes around Accipio.
The slaves who had sent him prayers of health and swift passage to Unity now formed his strongest supporters. Where his father would be remembered as Gaius the Unifier, he would be Velar the Liberator.
Accipio as an empire was dead, the old clans shattered and their web of ancient allegiances meaningless. But something new could be born from its corpse—Accipio the Republic. Many of the institutions were already in place.
They ended up living in the Crystal Empire for less time than ponies had probably imagined. Their new empress was just as passionate for engineering and invention as the old one—just of a different kind. And she had an excellent set of new technologies to reverse-engineer.
A few years later…
Velar felt the warmth of the weather-projector, even if it was hundreds of feet above them. The blimp lowered itself into position almost directly above Scythia.
But only the palace district had been cleaned—most of the rest of it looked like a city swallowed by a desert, a desert of white ash and flame.
“Projection is good…” said the empress, landing beside him with a half-dozen different instruments and papers following her through the air like her attendants. “We’re losing less than three percent over the ocean. I’d say the construction crew was right. Scythia is safe for habitation.”
Of course, she had real attendants too. Gina, of his father’s staff, supervising the military police. A number of Griffinstone representatives, here to determine if they wished to fly west with the rest of their kind.
“Did they… say if they’d finished excavating the tomb?” Velar asked. “I remember sealing it before we left, it shouldn’t take much. Just got to get to the door.”
Starlight leaned briefly against him, ignoring her instruments. Velar didn’t mind showing her a little weakness. “They have.”
“Then… radio to my father’s escort. There’s one thing I have to do… before the old empire can finally rest.”
“And then we build a new one?”
He nodded. “A better one.”
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And so, it ends.
This was a great and interesting story. In my opinion, you did well writing.
I call bull on the Starlight issue. The fact she only used it to save lives and ensure a Equestria friendly regieme would win should negate the fact she used a dark magic spell to do it. Villians have done worse in the past and not worry about it.
This feels forced so yoiu can have this ship happen and destroys this overall good story.
Ending is so-so. Gauis marrying a non griffin to make her Empress sounds absurd, given his culture shown thus far. Taking her on as a lover? Sure. Abdicating the thrown to marry her? No problem. Marrying the worst butcher of his people's history and making her Empress? Weird. Still, nice story overall.
Well it was certainly an interesting ride, especially for those that looked through the comments. All things considered, I’m glad to have read this.
An ok finish. Would like to see a sequel about the building of new Accipio, and its dealings with Equestria someday... Wonder how it's comment-section-rumba might go?...
Overall good job.
9163114
Agreed on the comment section. There sure where A LOT of talks all around, in almost every way. An interesting ride indeed.
I may not have understood every plot element, I have to say in all honesty I enjoyed the tale. Thank you, Starscribe, for the trip.
9163098
Agreed, this was very forced and extreme.
Shrug
9163098
I think it's fair to say Equestria would want her surrendered for some sort of trial, which fits with all that's really confirmed here; the terms demand her turned in. Whether or not she would have gone to Tartarus we don't really know other than that she certainly thinks so.
On the other hand I would say that the marriage felt a bit rushed. The decision makes sense and has had quite a bit of buildup, but the lack of any real known negative consequences of this surely controversial marriage makes it feel a bit hollow.
Still enjoyed the story lots, another great Starscribe epic.
9163098
Agreed. Both Celestia and Twilight have used dark magic in the past. It really doesn't make sense.
The early chapters of the story were pretty good, but I feel like the ending was kind of rushed and muddled. Not bad, but later chapters seemed pretty forced and a little unfulfilling. Same thing for the apparent romance between Velar and Starlight, which really could have used more development. Still, an entertaining and enjoyable read. I absolutely love the culture and society of the griffons. It's extremely creative, and pretty different to how they're typically portrayed. The OCs are really good, and several of the settings are very creative.
You said this story could have been twice as long. Honestly, I feel like it really could have used the extra length. It would give you room to run on developing some of the subplots, like the weather machine in the Crystal Empire or the relationship between Starlight and Velar.
That's all I really have to say at the moment. Don't take it as me stating facts. Obviously these are just opinions and constructive criticism that I hope will be helpful to you in future works. ^_^
Damn, this was one incredible story, and though I cannot speak for the rest of your fans, I'd be willing to bet that most will agree with me in asking for a sequel.
9163098
I have to disagree with you on the issue of Starlight's usage of dark magic, and Celestia making demands that they turn her over.
Dark magic is a strongly corrupting forcs, and the risks of corruption only grow with use. And she used a shit-ton of dark magic to end that battle.
(A shit-ton is a good deal more than an ass-ton, and just a little less than a fuck-ton.)
And this is not her first time using dark magic. The magic used to remove all those butt tattoos back in Our Town was very likely dark magic.
Starlight Glimmer does have a documented history of magic crimes. Severe crimes. On top of the dark magic in Our Town, there was also the use of time magic in an attempt to change history. That put all of Equestria at extreme risk. The fact that she used it for good purpose does not absolve her of the facts of the matter.
With this final usage, and given the scale of the amount used, Starlight Glimmer posed a clear and present danger to Equestria in the eyes of its leadership.
9163098 9163108
I do not see how this ship ruins the story. The story felt that it had been leading up to this since the beginning. You could feel the subtle bonds forming between the two, so this was hardly a forced relationship.
I also do not see how this would be absurd, him marrying her and making her Empress. She is not the worst butcher in Gryphon history. In the past, entire royal houses had been wiped out in civil wars and various coups. If anything, Santiago would be more of a butcher.
As for her being a non-Gryphon, lets look at the situation. Starlight fought alongside the new Emperor to keep innocent Gryphons, as well as the standing House's reign, safe. In the eyes of many Gryphons, she would be a hero. Another factor is that the marriage could be used to strengthen bonds between the Gryphons and Equestria.
As to cultural moors which would make such a marriage unacceptable, the old Empire is coming to a close, as are many cultural aspects that defined them as Gryphons. No more slavery is one of the biggest ones. Being forced into a police state with Equestria serving as that policing force being another.
It is time to close the book on the old empire, and make way for the formation of a republic. A constitutional republic would be ideal, I suspect. This marriage will serve to help the new republic on that path.
9163098
Considering that Twilight 'almost seemed relieved' it might have been a political arrest. Rather than Tartarus as she feared, it might be some loophole abusing non-punishment punishment, for the sake of saying she was punished for her very bad crime (shame on her). Still, it's conjecture. We haven't seen anymore more than Starlight's fear and a comment on it after all. It was a convenient way to sail the ship though.
Huh, this feels... weird for a Starscribe story. Usually your stories have a tendency to continue on long beyond the point they should have ended (both Message in a Bottle and Ponies After People come to mind) but this one instead feels like it was cut short and the ending rushed. There was a ton of buildup of characters, geography, politics and events that just kind of... collapsed into an ending that leaves a lot of those threads incomplete. It only wraps up the primary conflict between the houses and Equestria, but not the many, many other threads that were weaved around it, chief among them the societal conflict between the two cultures that carried most of the story.
9163098
He did show that Twilight at least forgave her for it. So she might have gotten off more lightly than 'Tartarus', even if the ponies thought that that sort of widespread use of dark magic had to be punished (because it had the risk of turning her into an insane evil tyrant, even if she got away with it that time).
I love this story. I had a feeling that Starlight would become Empress-Consort, but using dark magic to save the griffins? I must have missed it in a previous. What did the spell do?
Either way, I enjoyed every chapter and congratulations on completing this story.
9163205
yes this could have gone on longer and let this be the end of a major arc.
Oh, a commissioned story. Whelp, that makes a lot of sense now. Though wasn't the original lands supposed to take 10 years by Twilight's calculations to be habitable again?
Whelp, that was a rather fast paced resolution that could have taken 2 or 3 to more to flesh out normally but a story I wouldn't have read originally as I tend to avoid commissioned multi-chapter fics so that's on me.
Lots of unanswered questions. Lots of implications left untouched.
'Touchy' subjects shouldn't be an excuse to waver to any reader's views on politics they want to inject from the real world onto a fictional one and vice versa. Focus on what makes sense for the content you write, apologizing for none of it no matter how triggered some might get.
That said, this story certainly has a lot left unanswered and this handwave chapter certainly does the story a disservice in my honest opinion but I'm not the one who paid or supported it. Merely read it for whatever reasom I can't recall. But it was a good universe. Props for writing something that dared make people think, heaven forbid am I right? Lol
Well, at least it's done. Grats on an otherwise entertaining story.
I didn't like how Starlights situation was portrayed in the end but I enjoyed the story none the less.
9163235
The spell essentially looked to imprint a hate-boner for any and all who wielded a gun into seeing them as an enemy. It's why everyone on Velar's side had to drop all guns.
Like a beserking spell set to home in on a specific thing I suppose. So basically going by show logic where: Green magic: Chrysalis/Rarity possessed by book = Dark Magic
Which is what she was channeling in that chapter before. Calling on all that green pulding magic that she could muster.
Celestia though can manipulate dark magic. She explains to Twilight how dangerous it is in the s3 opener and how one such as her can use it. She doesn't go into much detail beyond that but dark magic though.
But yeah, such a spell that can be used to heighten a creature's lust to commit what ever atrocities the wielder desired could be deemed as far too illegal.
As it stands, Starlight alone now possesses a power that could in theory cause all of Equestrian Navy to turn in on themselves if they combined it with some of that Accipio ingenuity or blood magic. And hardly would be theonly sepll she'd be able to use given how gifted amd versed she is in combining and creating spells.
Starlight would be banned by the Geneva Convention if we were to classify her as a weapon. And her being a queen now? Well, good luck messing with her now. It is like trying to prevent Iran from going nuclear power.
Accipio though being forced to move or starve to a place the ponies can shutdown if they got out of line though. Being able to genocide the griffons remains a nice little untouched option for the ponies in their diplomacy tactics, though now it's mentioned anyone can maintain the towers so I'm wondering if this is another handwave or tye ponies have a backdoor of sorts to shut those towers down.
It is what it is. Anyways, apologies for the derailing thoughts. XD
An interesting story to be sure, though I tend to agree with several comments I've seen already. Starlight marrying Velar was very forced, under a very unrealistic expectation. Discord's walking free and reformed, Luna is ruling Equestria as a diarch, but for some reason Starlight doesn't get a pass for stopping war crimes and the slaughter of innocents? That really, once again, casts the ponies in a very bad, very stupid light.
That being said, the details of Scythia's culture and beliefs were very fleshed out, to the point that I didn't have any real questions in regards to how they thought or functioned, regardless of how flawed their culture was. Unfortunately, it got so fleshed out that it became overbearing, and it gave the feeling throughout the story, because we only saw things from their perspective through the majority of it, that the ponies were more akin to naive children instead of being presented as a competent, modern society. Then the story swung the exact opposite direction near the end without any build-up to that kind of swing. I would suggest better balance when it comes to that sort of thing in future endeavors. The lack of proper build-up just meant the readers were frustrated instead of excited to see how things turned out, as you saw in the comments.
Without getting too long-winded, I'll say it's a good story. It has flaws, but nothing that couldn't be ironed out of any stories you write in the future. Good job!
The whole Starlight have to stay because reasons thing was, well, bull.
But in the end, it was an ok story, not great or anything, but just ok.
If we assume that Equestria wouldn't accept griffons just providing asylum to evil sourceress, then estimated size of bricks Equestria will be shitting upon hearing that evil sourceress is to become the empress of nation that regularly goes at wars for giggles approaches numbers so great, that each brick will be having it's own event horizon. Realistically, they probably will seek military resolution immediately.
9163337
wew lad
9163212
No. That wasn't dark magic. We have seen what dark magic is when Celestia and Twilight used it. It looks nothing like the magic Starlight used.
9163688
Dark magic takes many forms. Mind control alone is a form of dark magic. Though many see it as a grey area, some are more like suggestive influence while other forms are outright control.
So, while a Jedi mind trick which is just like subliminal message would be used to sort of persuade someone with a weak will, Starlight's mind-control would take full control over her targets/victims. The difference is Starlight's actually using full blown magic to override any and all senses and control over the will of others creatures and setting them off on themselves. To kill each other no less rather than say force them to lay down their weapons or anything else. Not sure what the reasoning was but she was pissed and saw this as the only way to save them from the enemy forces. *shrug*
What Starlight did was channel this dark green magic to create a field of influence to take control of the lustful part of the brain that sought to kill another creature, as if imbueing the spell with a mix for what I'd imagine a combination of "Want it, Need it" with something else to aim for those with weapons, rather than those without. So, even if the other side had probably a want to kill they'd probably had been spared if they had dropped their weapons. As anyone who picked up a weapon would have been taken by the urge to kill anyone else with a weapon.
9163688
Celestia used only one form of dark magic.
9163643
Hey, I'm not the one who plotted to keep a dangerous populace of griffons, whom have access to ancient magics and powerful alchemy as well as a craft that will only grow more powerful over time with alchemy to create more and more potent weapons, into a place that was very carefully worded as being towers the Equestrians can deactivate if the populace steps out of line.
Remember, it's a white desolate wasteland that's only as beautiful as those towers maintain active to keep the place green and fertile. ;P
At least this wording in this final chapter makes it sound like they'd have the power to be self-sustainable and not be switched off should they feel they'd want to push for less sanctions or whatever.
9163746
Nah. Mind control is not dark magic. They use it to much in the show for that. Twilight has no problem using it when she wants to. She even says she did the Want It, Need it spell often.
Twilight has books in her library that can be borrowed by other ponies that contain those spells.
9163746
Ever notice that the common thread with dark magic is that it's green.
Explains why Sunset's magic was originally green but now it's red.
9163822
1. Ancient magic that requires a sacrifice and pony magic can blow out of the water in seconds apparently
2. Powerful alchemy that the ponies can blow out of the water
3. Weapons the ponies have better magic versions of
9164016
Well the first time Twilight used mind control, it almost had her removed from Ponyville. Or at least given a very stern talking to about the use of such magics.
And remember how incredibly pissed everypony was at Starlight for how she used mind-control? Mind-control is pretty unethical. Even if that seems to have been or is some form of 'rehabilitation' option Equestrian unicorns tend to take if that Discord reformation episode is anything to go by. Something I'm sure Celestia would have highly frowned upon had Discord been reformed in such a manner.
Sombra's use of mind-control to make his enslaved people fight to the death without fear or care for their own survival or who they'd strike down. You could see the terror in the eyes of the ponies who know they'll be losing their free will to commit heignous acts they'd have no control over.
Yeah, Mind-Control used to murder no matter how you slice it will come out looking pretty bad. Shame we never got to see the reaction of the ponies learning how Starlight kept them at bay. How Luna reacts and eventually Twilight and Celestia to what happened down there.
But hey, if taking over a country and then giving your life to stop someone who last second lied about giving you back your horn can be forgiving and let do whatever she pleased, whose to say Starlight wouldn't be forgiven? Anything's possible. She killed nearly a whole house of griffons. Now Equestria is more on par despite having had a super weak navy compared to the griffons.
Does this mean we won't ever see more of VelarXStarlight?
9164111
1. You don't know blood magic. It's been depicted even in this very story as something that can bring victory with enough sacrifices. Who gets sacrificed meaning little. It's not my fault that part was swept under the rug.
2. Something Celestia fears becoming a huge threat in her nation as it'd be harder to counter smaller groups or single griffon planned attacks.
3. Right. Because realistically, how many on-hoof unicorns can wield such magic outside of Celestia, Twilight, Luna and Starlight Glimmer? This AU has no Starswirl. Giffons in this very story were implied to be superior flyers to pegasi as well, and not requiring weapons at that which would only make them more lethal.
You forget that Equestria isn't full of combat ready, Twilight/Starlight Glimmer tier battle magic capable unicorns to that degree. It's been stated the only reason that Equestria itself hasn't fallen was due to Celestia and Luna. Both of whom, mind, were severly wounded or exhausted from fighting just one of the griffons with magic resistant and absorbing armor that projects energy weapons.
Ponies aren't invincible. Magic isn't all powerful. Hell there's even a relic that can take the place of Celestia's control of the sun for crying out loud. How funny is that?
Anyways, dumbing down one faction that's laid an heir for potentially bringing House Vengeance back and then those monks still about that can train other griffons down the line, whose to say what can happen. But, as far as this story goes, had the Griffons brought forth all their lords with armors to fight and the rest of their ships taken and positioned to attack other key locals/hold them hostage, they could have conquered Equestria this time with Celestia and Luna defeated.
Not my headcanon, just stuff given to us by the story itself.
9164138
THANK
YOU
9163098
I was hoping for hypogryphs.
9164115
unlike those other times Starlight used it to save lives in the end
9164238
Hehe, you're welcome.
Good thing no one pointed out all the other races Equestria was supposed to contend with that were going to migrate into Equestria, so I guess it's a blessing they only had to contend with griffons, whom apparently conquered *every* other race outside Equestria. That was supposed to be quite the feat, no?
Did they slay all the dragons? Did they conquer hippogriffs, as well? What races exist in this AU that Celestia was so worried would overwhelm her small Equestria to a point her people, not just the griffons, were in danger of barely making enough food for themselves let alone all these new additions.
So many unanswered questions, especially as to the many races that were going to migrate to Equestria from around the world. Who or what were they?
9164297
I think my one question is, how, within universe, is Celestia going to afford to give individual shelter, wages, and food to some 40,000 slaves once they're freed within one year's time? Especially, convincing some that simply don't want to be freed, to a point that they'd even fight Equestrians to remain with their house lords? That's not even counting the griffons themselves.
The home that the griffons lost is now habitable after only 3 years when to-the-minute-detail, Twilight Sparkle, predicted it'd take 10 years at best before they can begin attempts at rebuilding their homelands. What about the griffon ways that would see this griffon pony marriage as an affront to griffon culture? Imagine all the assassination attempts at that point on both Velar's and Starlight's lives. How griffons in the forest would take to being told they'd have to move to the cold north no less.
We're certainly left with many, many, questions.
9164264
While we, the readers, know she casted that spell in anger, and desperation, and know that ponies would probably see her as saving Equestria, how would others like Celestia and Luna view it? How would TWILIGHT see it? (Pretty bucking relieved and not giving two bucks apparently, for this universe's Twilight.)
If you have the power to control minds, and make others kill anyone holding a weapon, what other spells could she have used in its place to prevent so many lives from being taken?
These are ponies, not humans. They don't make a habit of wanting to kill their enemies. They either imprison them or banish them should friendship not work. Then again they banished a filly to hell so I'm guessing their tolerance for creating super villains have waned over the seasons.
But yeah, would you be able to look at Celestia and honestly say "I had no other choice"? Starlight lost control. More like, the main problem, is she was in FULL control. She KNEW what she was doing. She CHOSE that specific way to go about making quick work of the enemy. They sent Starlight as ambassador to a nation of bloodthirsty, yet supposedly honorable, griffons knowing she could handle herself well in combat. (That last part is just me adding assumptions, I've no real idea the exact reasons for them sending her. :P)
Personally? I'm amazed Starlight didn't go full Starlight ages ago. I highly doubt they'd a held it against her for long. Maybe seal her magic at worst. Who knows. I've no idea what the laws of this Equestria view such magic usage as, but given the anger that made one Celestia teleport from her castle after setting the sun to Ponyville over a seemingly innocent enchantment on a doll, it's safe to guess this level of a Want It Need It spell turned to what fans used to joke about back during s1 days, into a twisted weaponized spell to have everyone kill each other, I imagine it'd illicit at least some negative reaction.
In any case, it seems Starlight broke a lot of unstated laws. So given the story is complete, there's not much else to talk about. It ended with Starlight as Queen of the Griffons of Accipio. I Wonder if she'll bear him a hippogriff child now. One without antlers but with a horn? :P
*pictures a unigriff*
img00.deviantart.net/1641/i/2016/211/f/7/deni__the_fabulous_uni_griffin_by_oraclesaturn-dabx7om.jpg
*pictures said foaling raised by Starlight Glimmer and Velar's people*
4.bp.blogspot.com/-fawgDL2llME/USGh2VamwpI/AAAAAAAAdjQ/oGFv3qJU1y0/s1600/LG_ColorBlackUniGryphonDesign.jpg
Yup.
Looks about right. 
9164409
no if anythign they be more understanding but they have seen times for that kind of desperation. Hell Equestria of this world has been under constant threat of invasion by the EMpire.
9164444
Yeah, just wish there was more insight into pony culture before all the crazy stuff happened. Show Velar some pony laws Glimmy could have touched on while in Canterlot against with him, given she made that invitation without thinking would have been an interesting moment I'd like to think. Give a crash course as it were as to what Equestrian life is like and how their society works. Sometimes it's easier to show others a new way by showing them there's other ways.
We kinda didn't get much Starlight Glimmer and Velar moments when you look back on it. At least not on her turf. Could have maybe dropped little hints as to why Glimmer could never return to Equestria that'd make that stuff later in the story make more sense for everyone a bit more clearly.
Yeah that comment I left on the last chapter about how there was no way things could be wrapped up in just one chapter?
I was right.
If you wanted a more simple war fic you should have just made one. Instead you set up tons of political intrigue, conflicting personalities and ideologies, and a bunch of other loose plot threads, and this ending resolved them INCREDIBLY sloppily. I was really looking forward to the Ponies and Griffons clashing ideals, trying to make compromises and such. What I got was "the ponies won, then everything went fine, the end", which is both lazy and incredibly unrealistic considering how strong-willed the griffons have been portrayed as before now. What a letdown, considering how well it was going before now.
9164459
but again look at history. as far as we can tell most of canon has happened. so all the villians before now. Hell Starlight's time travel plot and nothign happnes to her. Yet she does this with the idea of savign lives and keepign an Equestrian friendly Griffon in power and now the hammer comes? BULL CRAP. there is only one reaspn for this..the ship between them. and that is not enough to justify this move. Comission or not Starscribe should know better then to end it this way.
In all honerstly this chapter should be scrapped and redone and not be the final chapter.
Starscribe, I do appreciate that you caught a lot of flak for this story, but I think the product was worth it. I understand if you just don't want to have to deal with the mess when considering what projects to undertake in the future but I firmly believe that the net effect has been very positive on our end.
I also agree that this story is complete as is. I also think that it could support another story if you think it could, but there was ample reason to put a bow on this one.
9163212
I mostly agree with what you said, except the part where you came this close to what I think would be the biggest political difficulty with their marriage, only to waltz right past it.
Just as Equestria puts its boot on the neck of the Empire, however kindly that boot might be, that is the same moment that an Equestrian pony becomes Empress. That is serious bad news and the fact that she literally just got done saving the same Empire is the unique reason she could get away with it. I do think there would be considerably more tailwinds than headwinds but it would be far from smooth sailing.
9164543
I'm not blind to that. It's sorta what a lot of people wanted, just not this pineapple fisted up one's plothole level of execution. But I think Starscribe knew this some chapters down when they saw how much diverging plots were going down and realized this commissioned fic was going to go well beyond whatever planned goal they had. Maybe some messages we don't see were said on Discord or PM to sort of twist the proverbial arm that made them want to end this story sooner rather than later.
I don't know. Entertaining story, but without an ending to match the quality of all that world building effort. Feels like quite the waste. I don't normally change my likes to a dislike on a story, honestly this is probably the first in many years I've had to do that. Downgraded it to entertained which is my "Okay stories" folder from favorites and removed from epic adventures given how technically short the story is once they land on Equestria.
We didn't really get to see much clash between cultures or how they'd deal with trying to free not just ponies but also the other races. It was land, get caught with a pony slave, told to release everyone, lose resources, bad monks kill off ponies starting a war and no one questions where those two ships went and Santiago sends Giovani on a foolish suicide attack with a few or so ships? Now it's King who held the fort down suddenly dead to pass on armor to son, a fight scene, THE END. Oh, Starlight is now Queen. Griffons got banished to the north with zero say on the slavery stuff. What of Isabelle? Oh, 3 years passed. It's good enough to start rebuilding in your old place. Peace.
I haven't criticized a story in so many years. I feel like a jerk given I've enjoyed Starscribe's stories in the past, but this is just really sad. I could not see myself release something like this to the public. As a writer, paid or not, do something like this to my readers. It sets a bad precedence for possible future stories, especially multi-chapter length fics, to those who read this story who support you with money or gratitude.
Even if for whatever reason a sequel was made, it wouldn't fix the problems set with how this story ends. There is room to expand after the getting shot scene, there's room to expand before the king just dies to wounds we're just left to imagine came from somewhere. There's certainly room to give the Mane 6 some screen time with Starlight here and there, telling me they aren't a focus (btw while giving them a whole section for showing us the towers won't cut it given other side characters got their own side stories shown), and of course room to expand upon where the story left off after Santiago's defeat and expanded properly. And certainly explain and show us more believable dialogue between Starlight and the other Princesses before declaring war crimes, show us her escape from capture? What happens?
There is SO much you can expand on but the only thing I'd care about is just this last part with showing us more of why Glimmy has to leave Equestria. Why she is being deemed a war criminal or shown herself to be viewed by the council/princesses/whomever as a threat that must be contained rather than told.
Also, Velar is such a pansy. Stood his ground ready to drop his life to keep his slaves and more and now goes full pushover. "Oh." =/
I think I need to avoid comments for awhile. The more I think about how awesome and intricately woven this story started off as and slowly derailed into aiming to be a shipfic first from its adventure and drama plot, the more disappointed I get at having read this ending chapter. Besides, it's past 3am. I tend to hold back less when sleepy.
9164620
Hell it mayt have been a comissioned story but that shouldn't limit it at all. as whaty flaws they are in the story it as still good but the last chapter is a fumble
I had an absolute blast reading this. Congratulations on a great story!
Dang, that ended abruptly. Well, it certainly was an interesting story that got a lot of people to excitedly discuss it. Probably needed a bit more post-climax denouement, though.
Methinks some people put too much weight into their own expectations and theories.
I thought it was a fine story. Could have been more changelings, but no story is perfect.