I suppose Rainbow Dash had always been my favorite pony. I also like Doctor Who and anime.
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The Friendship castle is an unknown and mysterious thing. Twilight Sparkle is the Princess of Friendship and the hero of Equestria. During her first night, Twilight receives a vision that later will guide her in life. Why does she need to go to the village located in the middle of nowhere just because the magic table told her too?
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Not gonna lie. I came here because of Discord's lightsaber.
Interesting concept but it needs an editor so badly..... the very first word on the story is a typo.
8580850
thanks, I fixed
I also prefer the Sith over the Jedi, at least they don't lie to themselves.
What exactly is happening to Twilight here?
Sith are usually classified as evil as they only want to further themselves or own goals most of the time. Although Twilight's ties to friendship will make her an interesting Sith.
8580997
Combination of force vision with the fold space ability. Subconsciously she managed to pull a object back with her from another planet far far away.
Sith? I can see her more as being a grey Jedi.
8581233
Got it. She's not going to end up in conflict with Celestia, is she?
8581292
Sometimes it's just two sides of the same coin. The Sith code is just more truthful to the universe then the Jedi code is, and In a world of Equestria they might want to achieve Harmony, but they always end up living by a sith code without realizing it.
8581311
Unlikely but possible. Twilight just wants to serve Celestia at best of her ability.
8581357
Ok, got it.
Too! Many! Explanation! points!
Celestia, you just don't get it, do you? *shakes head in disappointment*
8592529
alright, I will remove them
8592641
Thank you, I didn't mean to sound harsh it was for humor sake only.
(Just in case, people tend to take things seriously)
I wonder if the dreams are really memories or just Discords way of "turning her to the dark side". I was kinda expecting this to be normal Twilight getting a lightsaber and being badass, but this is also ok.
8593168
hm, it is a good idea for me to explore, so for now, I leave it as a mystery,
I have to disagree with Nightmare Moon.
8618386
Okay, thinking back I was trying to emulate Gray Jedi Order philosophy through her, but at the same time she sounds so much like Snoke and that's kind of the problem here.
8620469
I don't disagree about the Grey Jedi Philosophy but how Light isn't absolute.
didn't feel like
no need for been also past tense and present tense do not mix to well like that
did not need to be on a new line
careful with the past tense this should read how did it feel child? did you feel joy?
Your confidence
have them
you should is not needed
you will is not needed
been is not needed
either being welcomed or remove being
needs comma after mentioned
should be want
dont use thou it makes it a little confusing as its not in the right context
settlement
first underline should be it's. second underline should be a period. third underline remove it and you are good
8721445
thanks, for advice I will try to find those errors and then fix them.
8721484
quick tip use control F to use the find function
I am going to explain your situation to her.
unneeded and add ed to brainwash
should be that's
period after on it
either since when are you able to enter the dream realm or what are you doing in the dream realm
single I
random c
it's
our
8721517
fixed
if you want you can use google docs and i can preread your story for you. my email is beacjere@gmail.com
8721579
I guess I could do that, Is just there is nothing is written in the chapter right now. Probably going to start today.
8721465
I tried to mix her words, I guess the joke doesn't really work here. Even if I restructure her to speak normally I still not sure why it does not need it
8722428
it makes the grammar a little confusing
8581074
Sometimes, sith are classified by their passion instead of how self serving they are. There were many kind sith (in the EU at least).
ok at first i was willing to give this story a chance, but reading this chapter i realise how wrong i was, like how do they even know what a lightsaber and starship is? and next off, the plot has way to many holes, along with the amount of out of character every character is, i mean seriously rarity swearing? aj and rd i can see, but fluttershy is slightly closer to her original self than anyone else. I'm sorry but this story is just to all over the place, if you can fix your errors and have a followable story than i would excuse the massive amount of grammatical errors and clear lack of a proofreader, and say that it has potential but otherwise i could have had a kindergartener make up a story and understand it better than this clustercuss
9249105
You've asked some questions that I am now answering.
They know what the regular weapons are, and they know what is a marinetime vessel is, and they are smart enough to figure out that the ship they are on might came from the stars. It won't be a far off guess to say that they might be aware that the high tech devices they are using is some sort of weapons. There is a reason I placed this story into AU so let's just leave it to that.
9249504
ok then that sort of clears it up