• Member Since 20th Jun, 2017
  • offline last seen Nov 15th, 2017

Dungeons And Ponies

Never Be Afraid To Be A Little Adorkable. :heart:


Four ponies enter the frozen land of The Crystal Empire, in search of fame and fortune. What they find is a plot to enslave Equestria by the vile King Arabus.

Who has spirited away young Princess Flurry Heart, to try and steal her magic power. So he may then use a new spell, to swipe the shadows and souls of all ponies across the land.

If interested on details of this DND style Quest or would like to have a Oc of your's star in a possible future Quest visit Dungeons and Ponies Quest. for details.

Jade Bloom belongs to StrawberryGamer.

Hopeful/ Hopeless Dreamer belongs to Amereep

Wind Shard belongs to The Real Mister Pkmn

Sturdy Forest belongs to Orthoros

Chapters (1)
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Comments ( 6 )

So far so good. You seem to have the characters pretty well down, and it's fun reading their exchanges. I(we)'ve kinda been spoilered on the outcome of this, so looking forward to how that goes.

In terms of writing, the beginning and end were a bit jarring/jumpy to read, and that line break seemed wholly unnecessary. Not sure if Dragon Fodder and Cubic Zirconia are nicknames, might need some explanation. I've also seen a few grammatical errors, which leads me to think that you might benefit greatly from adding an editor to your efforts! Generally, a bit of fleshing out here and there would have been a good choice as well, especially for a first chapter, where a bit more exposition/world building is much needed.

Have you considered adding an author's note detailing the choices that were available/have been made?

Good so far. I really like your portrayal of Wind Shard. I hope at some point he gets his nickname used at least once.

Thank you.

hopeless's character has a knack for giving ponies she meet's odd little nicknames. She will speak them, under her breath most of the time, kind of a quirk she has.

I will add info in a A/N in chapter.2.

I will look into finding an editor, thank you.

I will also add more info within the tale as well.

I forgot about this. Time to read.


Wow, Jade's jerkier than I expected.

Don't leave us hanging. We need our Dungeon Master.:twilightsmile:

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