How to Build an Alicorn

by RDDash

2: Royal Correspondence

Dear Princess Celestia, or should I say, dear Celestia. No wait, that would be completely disrespectful. Even if you made it quite clear that both you and I are occupying the same station, and there is no need for me to refer to you by your proper title. Still, with all due respect, I would still really like it to refer to you by your proper title. So, without further delay...

Dear Princess Celestia, I am writing you this because I wish to inform you about Pinkie Pie's sudden request. The thing is she wants me to inform you that she wants to do scientific research about the pegasi flight, as well as, the biometric study of a unicorn's horn. Now where should I start, I suppose I should start from the very beginning, at one point I was sitting in the castle doing my paperwork. You know, the usual thing, that you have assigned to me.

So when I was sitting there doing things in my castle Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie came to me and offered their help. We managed to finish it way faster compared to the time it would have taken me to do it by myself.

After a while, all of us finished with paperwork. I don't really want to bore you with any of it, after all, you specifically requested to report everything.

So, my point is, Pinkie Pie invented jet engines. To be more specific she invented the portable version that everypony can use it on the individual basis. But if you are actually interested Pinkie Pie is willing to release the commercial version. The new mass transit system is finally going to phase out those dated coal trains that we are still using for some reason.

Why? I have no actual idea. We have diesel-electric trains running a route from Crystal Empire to Canterlot and back again. You would think that we would just retire that piece of junk!!!

Before I get off topic once again, let's continue talking about Pinkie Pie. Remember that Harmony Fund that you replaced a Royal Student Scholarship Program. The same one that you threatened to cut me off because you felt that I am not spending it on my personal security. So, anyway, turns out that Pinkie Pie has been using her portion of the fund to finance R&D of her little project.

Do you know what she said? She said, "Look at me Twilight I've got wings." But you know what else she said "Do you think if I one day will create an artificial horn, would they make me into pony princess? I swear in Princess Celestia's name I would be extremely dissatisfied if they didn't!"

Yours truly Princess Twilight Sparkle.

---

Dear, sigh, Princess Twilight Sparkle.
First of all, I must inform you that if we to continue this conversation that I must insist on that you would just stop.

This isn't what I meant when I said that you should describe absolutely everything. Specifically, I was referring to the state of your finances of that infamous Harmony Fund.

You know it, as well as I do that those details, for example, like I've spent an entire day doing the paperwork and then my friends came and helped me finish it, that part it can honestly be skipped.

Now to the main point of my letter, hm, at least somepony is actually doing something productive with it. Unlike somepony I know that spends days upon days in the state of complete boredom cooped up in that castle of hers.

I mean would you just please step outside! For my own sake, you have not five but the whole dozen of friends. I've made way too many mistakes with my sister, as well as, with my ex-student Sunset Shimmer. The first one turned into brooding emo, and the second one threw a temper tantrum. I don't want you to end up going mad with power my little tyrannical overlord.

I don't need this right now, it's going to create a headache for me. Um, I just, I think I should just send an expert if you wish for this research to be pre-approved.

Yours mentor Princess Celestia.

---

Dear Princess Celestia, I will make sure to take your advice into consideration. Um, right, I am extremely happy to hear that you managed to pre-approve Pinkie Pie's new project. This isn't really my concern but if you actually going to ask for help just make sure to call us at 2300 Friendship Drive, Ponyvile Equestria. I am very confident that Starlight will help you with any issue that you might have.

Your tyrannical overlord Twilight Sparkle.

---

Former Princess Twilight Sparkle, currently redubbed herself as tyrannical overlord groaned. She really didn't want to re-read copies of twenty more letters. She had a feeling that by the timer she will finish reading the letter number twenty it's going to get worse and worse and snarkier as well. The most important thing of all she got what she wanted, she informed Princess Celestia of situation, and Celestia said she is going to send a bureaucrat

Twilight had been looking at Pinkie and Rainbow playing hangpony, at least they are having fun, maybe I should too.

"Twilight, I've been thinking do you remember how you wanted to study my Pinkie sense?"

"Yeah!"

"So like I want to do the same thing but like I want to attach all the wires to your wings and horn."

"Okay! Oh um, Pinkie Pie?"

Pinkie Pie nodded, "Yes Twilight I know I read all of your letters."

"Okay! which word are you doing exactly? "

"Oh, that's easy, supercallifragilisticexpialidocious!"

"Hey!" Rainbow Dash yelled in annoyance. "It's not easy at all!"

Twilight looked at the word "Uh, I see, you only have seven to eight tries to spell the word out to you ended up being hanged."

"Yep! Do you want to play?

"Yep! I have nothing else to do!"

"Okay then start drawing you own pony you will get plus three extra Rainbow gets plus two extra and I just have a default pony model."

"Okay!"