Sorry, But Your Princess is in Another Dimension

by Mr AJ

Stalker Pony is okay with this

Blah-Blah-Blah Chapter Two Blah-Blah-Blah

The silence in the library was so deafening you could hear a pin drop. Celestia's expression wavered somewhere between shock and mild annoyance. Oh, and I'm fairly certain you could've buried Twilight. If her look of abject horror was anything to go by. The little dragon, Spike, poor guy was laughing so hard he fell and was rolling on the ground. OHCRAPOHCRAPOHCRAP! I had just grabbed Her Royal Highness's Royal Hindquarters and all I could muster was the "Deer caught in the headlights" look. We just stood there, eyes locked, staring holes in each other. the princess finally saw fit to break the awkward silence.

"My good sir, is there any reason you're still holding my flank?" She asked with a slight smirk. My hand shot back to my side instantly. She was trying to cut the obvious tension, though a bulldozer, while effective, may not be the best way. Recovering, her student spoke up.

"Princess, this is Anthony, the human I told you about." She said with a nod in my direction. I gave a not-at-all hamming-it-up-bow. The regal looking alicorn circled me, giving me a quick once over.

"Judging by your reaction, my student already told you about me I see. Did she also tell you of our stories of your kind?" She asked as she accepted a cup of steaming tea from Spike..

"Yeah, Kinda-sorta-not really. She didn't go into too much detail on the stories. She also mentioned you were coming, but one of her friends, Pinkie Pie I believe her name was, told me about you and your sister." I said accepting my own cup of tea from Spike and nearly dropped it. I had my cup in my hand, but how did the princess..... I looked at her and she noticed my confused face. Her cup was just floating there, enveloped in an aura for lack of a better term. She grinned.

"Magic." she said said with a snort and a laugh. Shaking my head, we moved over to some benches near a window to continue our conversation. I settled down next to Twilight and sat my cup on the small table. I yawned, and leaned back with my hands behind my head and crossed my legs at the ankles before I noticed the princess staring at me.

"That looks rather uncomfortable. Is that how all humans sit?" She asked.

"More or less. I'm just a little tired." I answered with a grin.

"Good lord, Those teeth! What do humans eat with those things?" The small purple equine asked with a wide-eyed expression and dramatically (a little over-dramatic, if you ask me) extended hoof. Ah yes, she had noticed one of my family's genetic oddities. See, every male on my mother's side has rather enlarged canines. I mean it's to the point where we don't have to buy fake ones at Halloween, but I digress. I guess it can be a little off putting if you didn't know to expect it. For some odd reason, I felt the need to play into this. I hopped up on the bench and started inching towards her with a wicked smile on my face. The princess looked a little worried for a second before it dawned on her what I was up to. She did her best to hold back a grin. Twilight rolled and hit the floor on her back. I hopped down and crouched over her. I looked my "victim" dead in the eyes.

" Humans, as a whole, are omnivorous. That being said, there are some who prefer meat over vegetables and vice-versa. Take a wild guess on which one I am." I said, licking my lips. Then something happened I didn't expect, she started to sniffle. Oh, no. Her lower lip quivered. Crap! And here came the tears.

"The kind th-that likes p-ponies?" She barely managed to say. Well, damn. I didn't mean to get her that upset. Sure, I can be an ass, but I don't like to make folks out and out cry like that. Well, now I felt bad. I picked up the sobbing pony and hugged her, stroking her mane, trying to calm her down. It felt like silk.

"Shhh. Shhh. Easy there. I don't eat ponies. In fact, the only meat I eat on occasion is fish." Celestia gave us a smile. Twilight pushed away and looked up at me with a smirk.

"I guess that means you pass the test. He did pass your test, didn't he princess?" She asked her teacher.

What!?

"Indeed, he did." she answered.

What!?

.......

.......

.......

"WHAT!?" Twilight took pity on me and decided to explain.

"You see. the princess wanted a way to determine whether or not humans were a threat or not, and we really couldn't think of anything. So, we decided that simple observation would be best. And, after that little display, you may be a bit of an oddball, but your heart is in the right place. We had to be sure though. The most recent thing we knew of your kind were the ghost stories I mentioned earlier." She said.

"Yes, and here's why. Pay attention Twilight, because you are the first pony outside of the royal family to hear this.
A few thousand years ago, Humans and ponies lived alongside each other in peace. They worked, laughed, cried and loved together, Then came the rule of Discord. While he never physically harmed anypony, he changed the humans. He did something to their minds, and they began to hunt the ponies for food. My sister and I could no longer sit idly by and watch his chaos overtake what we had built. In order to preserve both races, Discord was sealed in stone and the humans were sent to a world where they could live in peace. and as you can see, stories of them persist to this day. It is good to see that Discord's influence is wearing off. But, you should know, had I thought my student were in actual danger, You would have been reduced to a pile of ash." She said, finishing her tea in a single gulp. It took my mind a few seconds to process this. My host had been nothing more than bait? I looked at the smugly smiling unicorn and only one thought came to mind.

"Clever girl... I had that one coming, being the 'alien' I guess. So I reckon Y'all want to get on with how I got here, huh?" I asked the two.

"I would, but it's time I retire for the night. I have a long day of court tomorrow. I'll send for you when i think it would be a good time to continue our discussion. Twilight, would you mind if our friend stayed here for the night?" Celestia asked.

"No, not at all. I have a spare room and some extra pillows and blankets he can use." She answered. The princess smiled.

"I'm off then. You two have fun." She said and with a flash, the sun princess was gone.

"Spike, be a dear and show our guest to his room please. I've got some research to do." Twilight said, turning to her numerous bookshelves. When the little guy didn't answer immediately, the young mare looked surprised. She was even more shocked when she noticed I was gone too.

"No, where could they have gotten to?" she wondered aloud.

################################################################################

"Why do I always have to take out the trash? It's not like her horn is broke or anything." Spike muttered to himself. he was in the middle of dragging the trash to the dumpster. I had seen him struggling with it and had left to help him while Twilight was talking to....herself, I think.

"I know that feel bro. It's like that for me back home." I said startling the dragon and picking up the bag at the same time.

"You mean you have kind of a bossy unicorn who makes you do all the hard work?" he asked skeptically.

"No, you're lucky there. I just have a horrible, fire-breathing, unspeakable, creature from the depths of Hell that crawled up from the commode and I'm fairly certain eats kittens for a boss." I said with a grin. He stared at me wide-eyed for a minute before he started laughing.

"HA! That's pretty good, mind if I use it?" he asked. I tossed the bag in with a thud ("OW!")

"Not at all. You okay?" I asked him

"Me? I thought it was you." he said, scratching his scaly head. We both turned to look at the dumpster. A silhouette of a unicorn rose out of the shadow.

"Who's there!?" Spike growled, small snorts of green flame leaking from his nose. Oh! Right! That sonic screwdriver replica thingy. It must be a penlight. I took it out and pointed it at the trash can and hit the switch. The green light it made wasn't that bright and the pulsing noise sounded pretty realistic. Then much to my surprise (and unending joy!) the latch holding the lid open detached and it swung down and hit our mystery pony. Well, that's that, and more importantly;

"HOLY CRAP! IT"S REAL! I just wish it made more light." I said looking at it in awe.

"Uh, dude?" Spike said, blowing a small burst of flame Oh, right. Spike was kind enough to provide enough light to learn our attacker's identity. There she was. Lyra. Rubbing her head and covered in filth and that evil brown ooze you find in the bottom of dumpsters.

"What in the world are you doing in there?" I asked as I helped the pony out.

"Bon-Bon didn't believe me and I just had to find some way to prove you were real, that I wasn't seeing things." She fell down and grabbed my ankles. "Please come back with me and show her! PLEASE!" The mint green unicorn begged. The library's door burst open and an angry Twilight appeared.

"What in Equestria is going on out here!?" She yelled before she saw Lyra on the ground at my feet. She took the whole scene in and just shook her head. "You guys just do whatever. *YAWN* I'm going to bed. Try to keep it down." She said and shut the door behind her as she went back in.

"I think she's got the right idea. I'm gonna turn in too." I said and started to walk away with Lyra. STILL. ATTACHED.

"Y-You're not coming back with me?" She asked, nearly in tears already. *SIGH*

"No. But, I'm not gonna send you home like that either. Let's go get y'all cleaned up." I drawled out. She seemed to perk up almost instantly with this.

"Dude, you know you'll probably regret this." Spike said.

"I know man, I know."

Comments

[Ponified Lord Tacos]

There won't be any porn in this story?
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[Poducken]

How did Anthony know her name was Lyra?

[Mr AJ]

1319688 See Ch1. He hears Bon-Bon address her by name which, in in-story time, only occurred a few hours prior. It happens near the end.

[Mr AJ]

1319685 Sorry, but I'ma try to avoid anything TOO explicit. (read, no out and out sex scenes) But you can expect some awkward moments. Possibly in the next chapter. And may or may not involve a certain mint green (teal?) unicorn. Who knows?

[Ponified Lord Tacos]

1319762 And when might that be? ;3;

[Poducken]

1319747

Sorry, I forgot...

There's just so many stories that I'm following right now, I have a hard time keeping all the details together.

... I think I might have a problem.

[Mr AJ]

1319772 Ahhh, Depends. See, I'm pretty lazy when it comes t this stuff. but I'll get started on soon. Truth is I've had about 10 total chapters written for about 2 months now and I'm just now getting around to posting. That and I'm starting a new job on Tues. But I'll see what I can do.

[Mr AJ]

1319792 You and me both!

[Hearse Boy]

Clever Girl.....
Don't move..... They can't see you if they don't move
Dang good so far!

[Dawn Run]

This. Is. Amazing. Please post more. And more. I hope this is a long story that I can enjoy thoroughly.

[Mr AJ]

1326101 What's so amazing about it? It's only been 2 chapters.

[Dawn Run]

1326813
I am easily amazed.

[Ballisticksoldier97]

"Twilight, wuld you mind if our friend stayed here for the night?" Celestia asked.

wuld should be would.

[Mr AJ]

1330164 Thanks for pointing that out. Found and fixed.