Great but iunno, the relationship kinda feels a little rushed. And there is the minor grammar mistakes. My Grammar Nazi instincts are screaming at me right now. Other than that, awesome chapter. yay
Awesome chapter, as expected! I'm glad to see they are expressing their feelings now, and I just love how you use song lyrics to improve your writing! This was amazing, and I know you are taking a break from this after this chapter, but I cannot wait until chapter 5. Cheers, -Ps3luver
Lunar, one of the best games ever. i might not have the older version but i do have the psp version, and I'm just a little peeved when they changed the op: so this was a little nostalgic for me. but anyway, nice story and looking forward to seeing more
Very well detailed from the movie scenes, games, and settings for how things progressed with Daniel and Celestia...i look forward to seeing the growth of the story and applaud your efforts in the making of this story.
oh god that was so sweet!!! I needs me a hug so bad right now
oh and i cant help but wonder what it would have been like if luna and celestia were introduced to the world of warcraft. online gaming at its most extreme. mwahahahaaa. unfortunately, i can only imagine celestia playing horde. troll warrior ganking alliance lowbies while luna is playing a night elf priestess of elune.
I give you serious points for mentioning Lunar, one of my favorite games of all time. The PSP remake was really good. However, if Celestia and Dan wanted to play a great multiplayer PS2 game that requires not a lot of skill, I'd recommend Champions of Norrath, Tangled was okay, well at least it wasn't The Princess and The Frog, which only had the saving grace of Keith David as the villain. Aside from my tangent this was a really good chapter.
The D'aww Is all over the place, I love it! Be proud that was the first D'aw moment that made me want to add hearts to my message Anyway this chapter was really good I enjoyed it as everyone has i think. I liked the movie scene mainly because it flowed really well and worked very well with how they both felt about one another and it had one of my favorite romantic scenes ever! So yeah Uh...meh screw it... more hearts....and a
When I saw this sentence “I was just thinking…would it be okay if we shared a short hug? I was likeOOH damnAnd when I saw this one ^I think it would help me miss you less^I was likeD'awwwwwwwwww,.I like what you did to explain Dan work place very impressive.
To address those who might be complaining regarding how long it took for them to fall in love, at least it felt a lot more genuine than "A Total Eclipse of Their Hearts." I can feel the sincerity behind the words of Dan and Celestia. You can truly see the feelings on display in a deeply romantic manner.
1221524 Oh don't worry, just because they shared a few dawww moments, doesn't mean chapter 5 will be starting out with them both in bed together. This is only the beginning of their love. They still have a little ways to go yet. Though by the end of the next chapter, things will really be heating up. cdn.broni.es/images/emotes/mlp-rys.png BTW - thank you so much for sharing these awesome emoticons! cdn.broni.es/images/emotes/mlp-slick.png
12216501221772 Yesss!! The feels...they have been shared!
1221781 Glad you enjoyed it! And don't worry too much. Even if I do end up working on one of my other fics, I am going to be also working on outlining and starting chapter 5. I came up with a great scene, while I was at work last night. Though it may induce more "Daaaawwwwwws" cdn.broni.es/images/emotes/mlp-cescared.png
1221796 Don't worry, I think we all enjoy clop, just a little more than we probably should. But hey if it's done tastefully, then so much the better!
122184112227051222819 I love the Lunar Series! 1 & 2 have been a huge inspiration in my writing. In fact they helped me greatly with the Fantasy Novel I have currently being published! And when I found the clip of the opening, I felt very nostalgic as well. Plus I have the PS1 verison, so I checked it and the player's guide when I worked on the Lunar scene. Oh and expect more Lunar references in Chapter 5!
1223967 Yeah, I had a feeling not everyone would like the way I did that scene, but those are chances a writer takes. Thanks for commenting!
1221920 Don't worry, Chapter 5 is in the works. Though I'm not sure how soon I will be starting on it. But it is in the planning stages! Plus I worked out a scene while I was at work last night!
1223843 I thought that scene with their first hug would work well. And many were interested in seeing Dan interact with other humans, so I decided to do a scene while he was at work.
1225296 That's what I was hoping to convey, and you'll note, they still have a little ways to go before anything overly saucy will happen...well at least that's my current plan.
Personally, I thought the work scene dragged on too long, and didn't really add anything interesting to the story, plus some of the dialogue was reeeeaaally awkward. Apart from those complaints, a pretty good chapter. Looking forward to more.
And yes... I always have teary eyes when scene with king in "Tangled" is on going. Hard to not to do this, animators matched he's feelings perfectly in this scene....
Very nice and heartwarming chapter, you did well man. I'm glad you add some other human characters and expanded upon Daniels slice-of-life, makes the story more fleshed out. You have done a really good job on this story and i'm looking forward to your next update, whenever that'll be (take your time we can wait....I hope ). Keep up the good work man
FINALLY!!!
well worth the wait!
OMG i love it and im so glad you updated this cant wait for more
Huzzah!!!
Yay.
Great but iunno, the relationship kinda feels a little rushed. And there is the minor grammar mistakes. My Grammar Nazi instincts are screaming at me right now. Other than that, awesome chapter. yay
Very good story.
Dawwww ALERT!!!!
Yes, yes and yes, this chapter stole all my feels
Another AMAZING chapter I simply loved it, it was so sweet and happy my heart almost burst
Awesome chapter, as expected! I'm glad to see they are expressing their feelings now, and I just love how you use song lyrics to improve your writing! This was amazing, and I know you are taking a break from this after this chapter, but I cannot wait until chapter 5.
Cheers,
-Ps3luver
yayz supah happy fun kiss time!!!
lol good writing skills dude i've been reading more romance stories then ever cause i making my own story lol
but no i am not a crazy person obessesed with clop... most of the time! :3
Lunar, one of the best games ever. i might not have the older version but i do have the psp version, and I'm just a little peeved when they changed the op: so this was a little nostalgic for me. but anyway, nice story and looking forward to seeing more
One, first!
Two, PERFECT!
Three, HHHNNNNNNNGGGGGG!!! *grabs chest to keep heart beating*
Four, So much D'awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww
This pleases me greatly, for that you shall live.
but the wait is killing me.
Ah, nothing like a chapter of "You Brighten My Day" to give you that warm fuzzy feeling before you go to bed...
Kudos to you. I look forward to future chapters.
Loved every syllable.
Very well detailed from the movie scenes, games, and settings for how things progressed with Daniel and Celestia...i look forward to seeing the growth of the story and applaud your efforts in the making of this story.
That was beautiful.
I think I cried a little bit.
This chapter contains so much
fc04.deviantart.net/fs71/f/2011/332/5/0/rainbow_dash___badge_by_zobe-d4hivqy.png
The pacing was excellent, the emotions were vivid, contained good humor.
Looking forward for the next installment.
Finally, something happens. I was about to give up.
oh god that was so sweet!!! I needs me a hug so bad right now
oh and i cant help but wonder what it would have been like if luna and celestia were introduced to the world of warcraft. online gaming at its most extreme. mwahahahaaa. unfortunately, i can only imagine celestia playing horde. troll warrior ganking alliance lowbies while luna is playing a night elf priestess of elune.
I give you serious points for mentioning Lunar, one of my favorite games of all time. The PSP remake was really good. However, if Celestia and Dan wanted to play a great multiplayer PS2 game that requires not a lot of skill, I'd recommend Champions of Norrath, Tangled was okay, well at least it wasn't The Princess and The Frog, which only had the saving grace of Keith David as the villain. Aside from my tangent this was a really good chapter.
Awww I played Lunar on the GBA, nostalgia.
So Beautful
The D'aww Is all over the place, I love it! Be proud that was the first D'aw moment that made me want to add hearts to my message Anyway this chapter was really good I enjoyed it as everyone has i think. I liked the movie scene mainly because it flowed really well and worked very well with how they both felt about one another and it had one of my favorite romantic scenes ever! So yeah Uh...meh screw it... more hearts....and a
Dat tangled reference...SO GOOD!
That moment when you're listening to a completly unrelated song that sounds all dark but adventure like in a love like novel! XD
When I saw this sentence “I was just thinking…would it be okay if we shared a short hug? I was likeOOH damnAnd when I saw this one ^I think it would help me miss you less^I was likeD'awwwwwwwwww,.I like what you did to explain Dan work place very impressive.
God, that Tangled scene was so cheesy it could solve world hunger.
But anyway, great story.
i came, i saw, i left satisfied
SHE MUST BECOME HUMAN, my child, she must...
i1002.photobucket.com/albums/af148/djensen04/TMB/This-Pleases-Me.jpg
Another great chapter, very worth the wait.
Hunter C. Creed
i34.servimg.com/u/f34/17/44/17/38/p8290513.jpg
To address those who might be complaining regarding how long it took for them to fall in love, at least it felt a lot more genuine than "A Total Eclipse of Their Hearts." I can feel the sincerity behind the words of Dan and Celestia. You can truly see the feelings on display in a deeply romantic manner.
Way to go Dan!
1221435
I have more in the works! In fact while I was at work last night, I came up with a great idea for a scene in Chapter 5! cdn.broni.es/images/emotes/mlp-dawesome.png
1221279 1221474 1221492
Glad you enjoyed it! cdn.broni.es/images/emotes/mlp-lfun.png
1221524
Oh don't worry, just because they shared a few dawww moments, doesn't mean chapter 5 will be starting out with them both in bed together. This is only the beginning of their love. They still have a little ways to go yet. Though by the end of the next chapter, things will really be heating up. cdn.broni.es/images/emotes/mlp-rys.png BTW - thank you so much for sharing these awesome emoticons! cdn.broni.es/images/emotes/mlp-slick.png
1221545
Thanks!
1221546
Keep your dawww detector at the ready. There will most likely be more to come...in the next chapter! cdn.broni.es/images/emotes/mlp-rwink.png
1221650 1221772
Yesss!! The feels...they have been shared!
1221781
Glad you enjoyed it! And don't worry too much. Even if I do end up working on one of my other fics, I am going to be also working on outlining and starting chapter 5. I came up with a great scene, while I was at work last night. Though it may induce more "Daaaawwwwwws" cdn.broni.es/images/emotes/mlp-cescared.png
cdn.broni.es/images/emotes/mlp-djawdrop.png So many Comments to reply to....TOTALLY AWESOME!! cdn.broni.es/images/emotes/mlp-dawesome.png
1221796
Don't worry, I think we all enjoy clop, just a little more than we probably should. But hey if it's done tastefully, then so much the better!
1221841 1222705 1222819
I love the Lunar Series! 1 & 2 have been a huge inspiration in my writing. In fact they helped me greatly with the Fantasy Novel I have currently being published! And when I found the clip of the opening, I felt very nostalgic as well. Plus I have the PS1 verison, so I checked it and the player's guide when I worked on the Lunar scene. Oh and expect more Lunar references in Chapter 5!
1223967
Yeah, I had a feeling not everyone would like the way I did that scene, but those are chances a writer takes. Thanks for commenting!
1221920
Don't worry, Chapter 5 is in the works. Though I'm not sure how soon I will be starting on it. But it is in the planning stages! Plus I worked out a scene while I was at work last night!
1222001
Thank you! Your comment makes me smile! cdn.broni.es/images/emotes/mlp-thappy.png
1222009 1222119 1222482 1222554 1222886
Thank you all so much! I'm glad you enjoyed it! And there will be more coming! Just remember it may requite a little bit of wait...if I am to get it right! cdn.broni.es/images/emotes/mlp-thappy.png
1222602
Here...have a hug! cdn.broni.es/images/emotes/mlp-brohug.png
1222590
See, you just needed to hang in there. Things are going to really get exciting from this point on! cdn.broni.es/images/emotes/mlp-dq.png
1223843
I thought that scene with their first hug would work well. And many were interested in seeing Dan interact with other humans, so I decided to do a scene while he was at work.
1223247
Glad you liked it! cdn.broni.es/images/emotes/mlp-fyay.png
1222458
Thank you! I will continue to do my best...and look forward to having you along for the ride!
1224922
I'm not going to say anything...but you will certainly want to keep reading...and who knows what all she packed in those saddlebags of hers. cdn.broni.es/images/emotes/mlp-celulz.png
1225228
I'm glad you're pleased!
1224413
1225241
It's in the works!
1225296
That's what I was hoping to convey, and you'll note, they still have a little ways to go before anything overly saucy will happen...well at least that's my current plan.
1225368
I know right...I can't wait to see what happens next...oh wait! I'm the writer...I'd better to it then! cdn.broni.es/images/emotes/mlp-swrite.png
1225822
Exiting? Where are they going?
1225847
Whoops, I left off a "c" it was supposed to be "exciting"!
edit - I fixed the comment.
1225861
Oh
Nevermind then
*squeee*
Sweet chapter, me like.
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWYYYYYgoogle.com/imgres?start=206&um=1&hl=en&biw=1366&bih=653&tbm=isch&tbnid=XPr3Eh1PZkfR4M:&imgrefurl=http://forum.fok.nl/topic/1754476&imgurl=http://chzmemebase.files.wordpress.com/2011/04/memes-aw-yea.jpg&w=500&h=542&ei=DNlHUJfGMoaq8ATWmoHQDA&zoom=1&iact=hc&vpx=999&vpy=196&dur=983&hovh=234&hovw=216&tx=163&ty=126&sig=101704731211882780400&page=9&tbnh=142&tbnw=128&ndsp=28&ved=1t:429,r:19,s:206,i:145 EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!
Personally, I thought the work scene dragged on too long, and didn't really add anything interesting to the story, plus some of the dialogue was reeeeaaally awkward. Apart from those complaints, a pretty good chapter. Looking forward to more.
THEY MUST HAVE CHILDREN.
SLAANESH COMMANDS YOU.
Took me forever to finish this chapter, but a good one at that
This is so cute....agrrr.
And yes... I always have teary eyes when scene with king in "Tangled" is on going. Hard to not to do this, animators matched he's feelings perfectly in this scene....
1226186
Shhh...we all know that Slaneesh like new abominations.
My just gave out from all the D'awwws.
Very nice and heartwarming chapter, you did well man. I'm glad you add some other human characters and expanded upon Daniels slice-of-life, makes the story more fleshed out. You have done a really good job on this story and i'm looking forward to your next update, whenever that'll be (take your time we can wait....I hope ). Keep up the good work man